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 Literature / Re: Through Teary Eyes by Archangel20(m): 9:55pm On Aug 03, 2022 |
Chapter Two Everywhere came to a stand still the moment I set eyes on her again. This time I had the chance to observe her properly. She was really beautiful, not too fair, not too dark and she wasn't even putting on make up. There was nothing artificial about her, yet she looked appealing to the eyes. I wished the crowd would just excuse us for a minute or two. "Your performance today was inspiring, hope we'll see more of that" the pastor said with a big smile on his face. It seemed a bit off to me that a pastor would come with his family to commend my sister for leading praise and worship. Usually everybody just carried on with their affairs like no one else mattered. It assumed that the Pastor was newly transfered although he looked slightly familiar. "Yes sir, I will" Damilola responded, trying to suppress her excitement. "And you, hope you'll be coming over to assist in our weekday activities" the pastor's wife suddenly said as she turned to me. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't really a church kind of person but I didn't want to openly tell them. I knew Pastors had a sermon readily available to convince any unbeliever they met and I wasn't ready to go down that road. Besides I didn't want mystery girl to think ill about me. All the while she had remained silent, expressionless, watching what was going on. I looked at her and for the first time since the conversation started, we saw eye to eye. I smiled but she didn't. I couldn't say no. Besides, what will Papa say if he heard I turned down an offer to spend time in the vineyard of the Lord? "I'll try" I finally said to the Pastor's wife. "Please try and you'll experience the wonders of God in your life" she said. Of course she was right, her daughter's presence alone was working wonders in my life already. As the Pastor and his family walked away, I sighted my childhood friend, Osas walking towards us. Osas and I had been close during our primary and secondary school days, in fact he was more like a family friend to us. But after graduation, I began to see less of him, especially after he got admission into a private university while my own admission got delayed. He suddenly stopped picking his calls and replying his WhatsApp messages. Sometimes his number wasn't even reachable at all. Whenever I went to his place to ask after him, their security man would always tell me he wasn't home, even during the holidays. Sometimes I would run into him in public places like the football field or in church and I would complain to him about not picking his calls and his inability to reach out. He would apologize and tell me how stressful his school was and I would understand with him. We would exchange numbers there and then but within a period of about three to four days, his number would become unreachable. "Hey Tj what's up" he called as he approached us. Damilola naturally didn't like him so she pretended to arrange the hymn books while he offered me a handshake. Sometimes I wondered why they never really seemed to get along. "Bro what's up na" I replied him, partially surprised he had remembered to say hi today. "What's up with you and the new Pastor, hope you didn't commit?" He asked, his voice sounding like we've been on good talking terms. "Of course not, he just came to greet Damilola for a job well done" I said, trying to understand where he was headed. "Are you sure that's what happened, or you were observing his daughter? I saw you oo" I laughed. Osas could be funny sometimes. "All join, she's really cute". He shook his head "What is it? Abi you sef get intention?" I asked trying to keep the conversation going. "Me? No na, I don't do church girls, but I can bet, you wouldn't have the liver to ask her out. And even if you do, she won't even agree." His last statement threw me off balance and I felt a certain kind of anger towards him. This was one of the things I disliked about Osas. He was so full of himself and he always acted like he alone deserved the best things of life. Always showing off trying to prove that he was better than I was. I looked him in the eyes and I could see the look of mockery. He was daring me, silently taunting me, looking for signs that would make him call me a coward. I wondered how we got here, we used to be best of friends. I was still thinking of what to reply him when Damilola broke the silence. "I think we should start going home now before the anger of the Lord descends on us here, you guys couldn't even exit the church before you start talking about girls and how to devour them" I forced a laugh, thankful for the intervention but the tension was still there. As we walked out of the Church, I thought about all the times Osas had tried putting me down. He was better than me in so many things, especially in academics. I still remember how Papa would compare his results with mine and ask me if he had two heads. Even when it came to ladies, Osas was known for dating the high class girls. Rumour had it that if one had a girl friend and Osas as much as winked at her, he was to abandon her and start looking for a new one. She was already his. The only thing I was better than Osas at was in football and even at that, whenever we were both on the pitch, he would do everything possible to make us I was put in the goal post. "Don't tell me we're going to trekk home" Osas asked as we exited the church premises. "See question, Did you drive here?" Damilola fired back. She wasn't as tolerant as I was. She believed in responding to people" as e de hot". "Dami take it easy na, I can pay our bike fare if you wish" he said, trying to reach for his wallet. "Don't worry, the distance is not that far" she replied, almost immediately. "Na poor man de say trekking na exercise and road no far", Osas said laughing. "Are you calling us poor?"she stopped to ask him. She wasn't having any of his shenanigans. "Why would I do that, it's just an expression" he said with a disgusting smile on his face. She didn't say anything but she increased her pace, forcing us to increase ours too. As we walked on, I felt proud of my sister. She could do things that I didn't have the courage to do. She really put Osas in his place and I was willing to do the finishing touches. "Your praise and worship session was fire" he said, trying to ease the tension. "I know, the pastor already said so" she said trying to hold back her smile. The key to every woman's heart was money and compliments. Even Damilola couldn't hide her reaction. "Thanks for the compliment anyway" she added. "Very soon they'll make you assistant choir mistress oo" She laughed "That's not possible, you have to know how to play a musical instrument before you're eligible for the position" "Really?" "Yep" she said absent mindedly "I could teach you how to play the piano you know" he said and we both turned to look at him. "That won't be necessary" she said "Don't worry I won't charge you for the service" "Even if it's for free, I don't want Osas" "Are you scared that you won't be able to learn?" "Look Osas it's not by force, I'm not interested" she said, gradually raising her voice. "I don't think it's a bad idea" I suddenly cut in and they both turned to look at me. "Yeah, it's not a bad idea if he teaches you" I added. Osas always considered us cowards and I wanted to prove to him that we weren't scared of him. I trusted Damilola. She was a fast learner. It would look good on us if she learnt and surpassed him in the art. I would definitely get the final laugh. "No problem then, whenever you're ready, just let me know" he concluded before Damilola could raise any further objections. We had finally gotten to the junction that led to his house. "I'll see you around" he said as he began walking away. "Osas wait" I shouted and he stopped. I walked over to where he stood and hugged him. I brought my lips close to his ears and whispered. "Remember what you said concerning that girl in church? Challenge accepted " "50k if she says yes" he said and tapped me on the back. To be continued |
| Literature / Through Teary Eyes by Archangel20(m): 8:06pm On Aug 03, 2022 |
So this is my first time writing on Nairaland. Hope you guys enjoy the story. Through Teary Eyes Chapter One I glanced at my wrist watch one more time as I approached the Church premises. Although I had walked very fast and even said a prayer at some point, it didn't change the fact that I was running late. If by any chance my parents were to find me walking into the church an hour after the start of service, there was bound to be chaos at home. Surely they would drain the life out of me by constantly reminding me how the university had changed me and how I was slowly taking after my elder brother, Segun. From the moment it became clear that Papa wasn't going to send Brother Segun to the university due to his career choice, Brother Segun had embraced a life of sport betting and cyber crimes in order to survive and prove to Papa how wrong he was. He wasn't that good in written English, so whenever I was home on holidays, I reluctantly helped him in interacting with his international unsuspecting clients who were usually online at night due to varying time zones. I still felt dizzy from the previous night's chat but I pulled myself together. At the entrance of the Church, a thought came to me - what if I returned home and acted like I had actually gone to Church, probably pull my shoes at the entrance of the house and leave my Bible carelessly on the center table where everyone could see it and remain in my church clothes till everyone got home... I considered the thought for a while before rebuking it. Papa could ask me irrelevant questions like what had been preached or the color of the pastor's suit. It was damn too risky. It was bad enough that I didn't wake up early to leave home with them. Missing Sunday service would be disastrous to my existence in that house. I strolled into the church while praise and worship were still going on and I felt a little bit relieved. At least I was sure that majority of the Church members would be deep in the spirit with eyes definitely closed. But just as I stood close to the entrance scouting for a seat to chuck myself into, one of the ushers approached me, signaling me to come forward. I looked at him like " you and who de do that one?". I pretended not to see him and began walking in the opposite direction. From the corner of my eyes, I checked to see if he was following me. He was. "What's doing this one na?" I thought to myself. ''Na him first become usher abi shey this one body de reject anointing ni?" I doubled my pace, still searching for an empty seat. I kept passing through crowds of people lifting their hands to the Most High and fortunately for me I saw one girl of about 5 years, sleeping comfortably on one of the chairs. Senior man de find chair, this girl balance spread leg. "So sorry to do this but we have to do this for the sake of world peace" I whispered as I picked her up and stood in front of her seat. She stirred back into reality and her eyes opened to behold a total stranger. Totally shocked, she immediately began to cry and I tried hard to pacify her. The more I patted her back, the louder she cried. Instinctively I dropped the child and walked away. In as much as I couldn't risk going to sit at the front where I could be easily sighted by my parents, I couldn't also risk being called a kidnapper by the congregation. Although I had grown up in that church, one would be amazed at what they were capable of. I went to the last pew which was usually reserved for late comers and I found an empty space there. It wasn't the best of places to sit but it was manageable. Soon the prayer session was over and the choir was called to take charge. I could see my younger sister, Damilola step to the microphone. Papa must be proud, I thought to myself. Her voice was very melodic and everyone danced along to the praises she sang. Not me though, I was too exhausted and I had heard her voice too many times that I had already gotten used to it. It still sounded amazing, but not amazing enough to make me dance. When the praises were over, the minister stepped to the podium and began administering the word. He wasn't the Pastor in charge, yet he sounded familiar. Probably some changes had been made while I was away. His sermon was rather slow and less energetic and I caught myself half asleep twice. The third time I dozed off, someone tapped me and I opened my eyes to see the usher I had earlier absconded from. This man had found me. "Stand up" he said sternly but I didn't budge. "I said stand up" he said once again, this time in a louder tone. "I no de sleep guy" I replied him, blinking my eyes, so it doesn't betray me. People were already turning to stare at us. He looked at me for about 2 seconds and left. He seemed hurt. "The things we see in the house of God" I thought as I heaved a sigh of relief. In other to avoid being "used to shine " by the ushers, I decided to bring out my phone in order to keep myself busy. I was trying to open my Facebook app when I felt a light tap on the shoulders. "What is it with these people?" I thought as I squeezed my face in preparation for a confrontation. As I turned to look at my admonisher, I stared into the most amazing brown eyes I had ever seen. I was captivated by her beauty and I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off her. She wasn't smiling but it didn't really matter. Her hand was still on my shoulder and I didn't want her to take them away. There was something familiar about her but I couldn't place my finger on it. I was so carried away with her beauty that I didn't seem to hear her when she said "Can you please put your phone away". Her stern politeness (if there was anything like that) made her even more intriguing to look at. She walked away, looking a bit confused and angry and I wondered why. Didn't she know she was this beautiful? How come Damilola or my childhood friend Osas had never said anything about this goddess of an usher? The rest of the service was uneventful and sleep had vanished from my eyes as well. I wasn't the type of guy who took unnecessary interest in ladies but this particular girl was an exception. Immediately after the service, I walked over to the choir stand where Damilola was disrobing and greeted her with a smile. "Hmm Tj this your smile is really mischievous, is there something you're not telling me?" She asked as she searched my face for any signs of mischief." "How many times will I tell you to add Brother to my name wherever you're addressing me?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Come and force me na" she said with a grin. Damilola was everyone's favorite but she was actually a handful. I was older than her with 5 years but simply because her and I had almost the same height, she stopped giving me my maximum respect. "I don't blame you sha, because you led praise and worship today, we won't hear word again" I said shaking my head. I shouldn't have. Her comeback wasn't what I was expecting. "Because you managed to come to church today we won't hear word again, you didn't even come early sef" she fired back, laughing. "Or you think I didn't see you when you entered? I saw you from where I... " I instinctively rushed to cover her mouth. This girl will put me in trouble one day. "Look there's something I want you to help me with" "And what would that be my Great Brother?" She asked freeing herself from my hold. "Okay I'm listening" she said as she and I could see she was serious now. "Okay there's still girl..." I started to say but before I could complete my sentence, she burst into another bout of laughter "Chaii... This is just amazing" she managed to say. "How?" I quizzed "Whoever thought the two sons of Elder Mayowa would turn out like this? One a chronic gambler, the other an upcoming womanizer" with that she began laughing again. I was getting fed up with the way she was teasing me. I grabbed her throat and started to playfully choke her. While we were at it, I noticed a group of 3 persons walking towards us. I immediately let go while she readjusted herself. "Ah Pastor, Good morning sir" she said with a countenance that oozed confidence. One thing I loved about Damilola was her ability to conform to whatever scenario she found herself. "Good morning ma" she said turning to the man's wife "And good morning" she said without even looking at the third person. The couple replied her while I looked to see the lady my sister had stylishly snubbed. Lo and Behold... It was my mystery girl. To be continued... |
| Romance / Re: Burna Boy’s Police Escorts Shoot Married Man After Singer Made Pass At Wife by Archangel20(m): 1:14pm On Jun 12, 2022 |
You're broke my brother... Just leave am like that immortalcrown: |
| Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Npower October Stipend Will Commence Very Soon by Archangel20(m): 6:08pm On Dec 31, 2021 |
Jubal01: Op de do guess work... It's obvious |
| Music/Radio / Re: Peruvian Government Reacts To Fireboy DML & Ed Sheeran "Peru" by Archangel20(m): 10:49pm On Dec 25, 2021 |
Kingsuave: Who ask you... It's obvious |
| Career / Re: You Earn #200k A Month But Your Boss Is Always Angry & Abusive? by Archangel20(m): 2:54pm On Oct 12, 2020 |
Alexgman1:pls quit and link me with your boss |
| Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Nigerian Army SSC And DSSC 2016/2017 Forum by Archangel20(m): 7:31pm On Oct 11, 2020 |
Please how the money go be like the pop... Let's know what to expect after the whole drilling. 1 Like |
| Romance / Re: Why Did She Lose Interest Suddenly? by Archangel20(m): 12:55pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
your mind sopoze tell u say as no be u buy her the phone, another guy man don chance u... Chop and go bro 512 Likes 22 Shares |
| Travel / Re: Tanker Explosion In Delta Kills 17, Leaves Many Injured (photos) by Archangel20(m): 7:32am On Jul 23, 2020 |
Charmingrascal: Stealing fuel was stupidity... Was it theirs?? They couldn't figure out ways to assist the tanker driver. I think God just decided to give them their well deserved nemesis too soon. |
| Literature / Re: A Fake Poet... by Archangel20(m): 6:33pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
Kkings11:Good luck |
| Literature / Re: A Fake Poet... by Archangel20(m): 6:32pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
Thanks a lot. I appreciate The truth about writing is that you just have to begin somewhere. Every body has an interesting story within them but they find it really hard to do what... Begin. Once you've started writing, trust me you won't like to stop cos new ideas and possibilities would keep flowing. Finding the right words is easy too... Just write then go over it later. Use simple words as a beginner so you don't confuse your audience but use words that you know would expeess your ideas as best as you can... I'll be happy to read your first chapter... Good luck Bro |
| Literature / A Fake Poet... by Archangel20(m): 4:28pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
There was this day I was returning from the capital in a bus saturated with different people from different spheres of life. Actually we were returning from a youth development summit and everyone was given the opportunity to express him/herself and showcase their expertise in whatever art they were good at. Some introduced themselves as rappers and we forcefully seduced them into doing freestyles, some were into acting and they shared some of their most amazing experiences on set... Quite interesting Soon it got to my turn and every one was really excited to hear me speak cos I had been particulary reserved since we started our voyage. At first I told them to pass but you know how these people can get, they started cheering me on and on especially one cute young lady with a lovely hair and a voice that sounded so much like a replica of Eva Longoria. She sat directly in front of me, turning back, smiling and encouraging me with a tentative nod that said " you can do it". Her lure eventually got the better of me. "Fine My name is Pundit William Pryme and I'm an emphatic poet. I'm new at this so I may not really wow you guys." " We're listening" they said and the whole bus went so silent that it seemed like the noise coming from the traffic was put on temporary mute. I thought about all the wack poems I had written in the past and I looked at the faces crested with great expectations especially the girl in front of me in whose eyes were written " Don't disappoint! I'm crushing already". I couldn't do it. I couldn't use my own art to satisfy their scorching anxiety. It wasn't good enough. I wasn't proud of it. And so I dipped my mind into my collection of great poems from great poets and I pilfered a few paragraphs from Rudy Francisco's Helium, borrowed a few words from MI Abaga's I love you , lifted some from Samantha Lazar' diary and sprinkled a few words of Optimus Prime. The end result - a cocktail of emotional words and finessed feelings that found their ways into the basement of it's listener's fondest memories. The effect was magical and the emotions that crept up on the faces of my audience was priceless. They made me go over some lines at least twice and when I told them " the day we kissed, I swear I could taste the next 60 years of my life with you," they went crazy with applauds and laughter which made extreme mockery of the traffic sounds outside our windows. To be honest, while some were struggling hard to pull back the chains that held on to their neurons of laughter, others found it hard to keep it together that they tripped over their racing heart beats and landed in a caldron of hot premium tears. Soon it was the turn of someone else and every body's attention averted sideways except for a few that lingered. A few like the lady in front of me who couldn't stop staring at me. She stared deep as though she wanted to see the depths of the dungeons from which my emphatic poetry potions were brewed. It felt good but really it felt bad. Using another person's sweat and toil to shake people's hands so tightly that that didn't want to let go. They preferred to hold me in high esteem. And so as I alighted from the bus that day, amidst the waves, smiles and laughter, my self esteem also alighted and I felt the pangs of guilt on my chest. Strongly I made up my mind. If ever I was to have an exhibition in front of an audience, make a post on my social media timeline, write a love letter, every single sentence and every single word down to the last letter would be mine, original and genuine. Those lifted would be duly acknowledged. And only then would I feel comfortable knowing them and knowing myself even better. As for the lady, well fate has a way of bringing us together again doesn't it? Stay original © Williampryme |
| Jobs/Vacancies / Re: DGSREM Best Ever Home Based Job Opportunity by Archangel20(m): 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
08131524930 |
| Politics / Re: Government Special Announcement by Archangel20(m): 11:43am On Jul 08, 2020 |
What's up with the interview |
| Romance / Ladies We Meet Online 2 by Archangel20(m): 12:26pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
Through the eyes of Pryme Klassy and Krazy (2) Meeting people online can be very interesting especially when the both of you connect with ease and eventually get to the level of " can we meet?" Sometimes as a guy you'll have to use punchlines upon punchlines and phone calls upon phone calls to get to this position but for some guy men, they can aim and execute within hours(whatever it is they're executing �) So basically our online sisters are divided into two.. The Klassy and Krazy types. When fixing date with the Klassy type, all you need to do is give them a reason to meet you cos they'll definitely ask for one. Sincerely at this point, whatever reason you give is for formality. If she really wants to meet you, she will. The only issue you'll have with the Klassy type of girl is picking time and venue. Naturally they'll form busy and you'll have to make a few suggestions before you'll eventually conclude but that's okay. The date usually is simple. Normal guy man picks up klassy bae at the agreed time. If he's with a car, he drives to an eatery and if he came on foot, it's still okay, they can trekk there. He can just tell her he enjoys strolling. E no pass like that�. At the eatery he orders what his pocket can afford - Two ice cream scoops, meat pies and probably two plates of rice and chicken for the both of them. They sit by the window overlooking the sunset and they talk about themselves. She tells him about her job, how she's scared of heights, her love for cats and how much she loves Enya's music. He in turn tells her his annoying boss, his interest in forex and how much he dislikes Naira Marley's music. They laugh over Hushpuppi's arrest and debate over D'banj's rape allegation. In the course of the dialogue, she orders a bottle of water which she intends on paying for. In less than an hour, they're done and he pays for whatever they ordered including the bottle of water. They walk to the junction and he tries to press a 500 naira note into her hands which she declines. She gives him a light hug and promises to let him know when she gets home. That night she texts him, thanking him for such a lovely outing and let's him know she's looking forward to yet another date with him.... ×××××××Case closed××××××× Krazy Girl... ����� You know as e de be. So the first few days as usual are filled with frustrating chats of one one word replies and a climax of a request of an emergency 2k which he sends to get her attention. Fast forward to the "can we meet part". Guy Man: Hello dear Krazy: Hi Guy Man: Can we see? Krazy: Yes, where Guy Man: My place Krazy: No Guy Man: Hmm, where Krazy: Somewhere else. Guy Man: Like where? Krazy: just be naming Guy Man: Rochester Krazy:� Guy Man: Kobo Krazy Bae: No my elder brother stays around there. Guy Man: G lodge Krazy girl: My ex boyfriend works there, I don't want him to see me. Guy Man: Ok Oathwana Mall Krazy: Yes!! : When? : Hey : Why are you not replying?? : Hmmmmm Guy man: Sorry I was doing something. Krazy: Ok so what are you saying? Guy Man: When will you be free? Krazy: Are you busy today? ��� At this point guy man is shocked cos things are going easier and faster than expected. Guy Man: Let's just leave it till Sunday. Krazy: what time? Guy Man: 4:30 Krazy: Ok : But I don't have transport oo Guy Man: Don't worry I'll pay. Krazy: Awwwwwwwnnnn� Guy Man: Till then. Fast forward to Sunday by 12pm, Krazy girl flashes guy Man and he calls back. Guy Man: Hello Krazy girl: Hey baby Guy Man: How far Krazy girl: I'm fine oo, Guy Man: Hope you went to church. Krazy girl: Why? Me and God no de quarrel na. He laughs " Anyway I just called to remind you about our outing." Guy Man: That's true. I've not forgotten. Krazy girl: Ok baby, come prepared oo. She says and she hangs up. You just called abi u flashed me, he thinks to himself. Sha everywhere good. Time still de. 4:30 still far. 30 minutes later, his phone rings again as he's trying to catch some sleep. With sleepy eye Guy Man: Helllloooo Krazy girl: Hey baby Guy Man: Hooow farrr Krazy girl: We are there. Guy Man: Eh  HowHe jumps to his feet now 100% awake. Krazy girl: We are at the mall now. Guy Man: But we agreed on 4:30. *Silence* Krazy girl: You de come? Guy man yawns and stretches his body. Krazy girl: Eh Guy man: Give me 10 minutes. She hangs up. 10 minutes later, Guy man is dressed in one of his favorite senator wears. The one he sewed with the material he bought from Jay's Apparel. He puts on his Gucci palm and sprays a little perfume. He grabs his wallet, and wrist watch and as he goes out to get a bike, he begins to wonder what kind of girl is this that cannot even keep to time. Thoughts are running through his mind but he doesn't worry about the fact that she told him to come prepared. Guy man gets there and pays the okada man. He tries looking round for any sign of her but he only sees a group of people standing at the side of the mall. He starts calling her cos he he's getting uneasy as he walks back and forth. Guy Man: Where are you? Krazy girl: You where you de? Guy Man: Front of the Mall. Krazy girl: Na there we de too na. Guy Man: You and who he asks trying to understand why she keeps saying we! I didn't see anybody oo Krazy: We de there na. Ok I don see you. Turn back I wear blue shirt. He looks back and sees her ...and them - 3 small children -2 girls of her height and -1 black grab bross that is almost the same height as him. She walks up to him with a broad smile. Krazy girl is on low cut, tight hose trousers and pam slippers. In fact her whole dressing is saying NO BE PLAY WE COME PLAY FOR HERE. To make it worse, she is on chewing gum. Guy Man is like " is this the same girl I've been chatting with, she looks different without snap chat" "afa na guy, we don de wait you since". "What's up" he says trying to act normal. " We de oo, we full ground remain " He didn't understand this her constant use of we, we, we... "Who are these he said motioning to her squad. " Ooh All diz ones she asked as she annoyingly keeps sighting her chewing gum. These two fishes na my neighbors, as them see say I de package to comot, na so them say them go must follow me. While these ones na my younger brothers. Guy man looks up at her trying to find the packaging, then looks from the fishes to her brothers and her" broda". Gracious God!! " But you know the time we agreed on was_ "Sista, sista... Hungwy de catch me oo one of her younger brothers said cutting him short. " No worry, this brother go buy us food she said patting the boy on his head. The young boy smiled. " Boda you go buy us food?" He asks coming to hold guy man's trouser and guy man suddenly wished he had the power to remind time. " Make we go inside," Krazy girl tells her squad and they begin to match inside like Spartan soldiers. As they were going in, he notices that she even has curved legs. They occupy 3 tables and the grab Bros comes to sit with them. " Guy your senator go well oo, be like wetin you buy from Jay's Apparel. Guy man forces a smile . " Chairman as you de smile abeg just do me like 1k Glo sub, e no touch anywhere". " Don't worry before we go" Guy Man responds still wondering how he got into this tight corner. "Baba I believe your government" Grab bros responds. Guy Man doesn't know how to begin a conversation and he starts trying to remember what he knows about her. " Sister na" her kid brother calls out from their table. "Hungwy de do us oo" "Ehen wetin una go chop" "We wan chop gawi" he responds. Krazy girl does not even think twice before she calls to the waiter. " Who de here? Una get eba? No? What of stash? Oya serve them two two. " Wetin una go chop," she turns to her friends. "Shawarma and ice cream" they chorus. "Give them, one one go do una?" " Make we de look na" Jesus wept!!! Guy man's eyes flew wide open, warriz all this again?. It's like the girls hadn't eaten since the Iockdown began. It was then it dawned on him and it starts echoing in his ears COME PREPARED. This was a day he would forever remember... That's If he made it out alive. How much was in his pocket sef. He was still deep in thoughts when her grab bros spoke up... "Chairman make them do me one Heineken for a start na" the grab brother spoke again. The broda's voice was so deep... It didn't sound like he was requesting, it was like a command. Guy man looked at the grab brother, grab brother was not smiling. Chaii, on top my own money. "Feel free, guy man said. He was already sweating under the air condition. " Na iPhone you de use?" One of the girls asked from their table. He smiled. " Come use am snap me picture na. See your wrist watch sef, help me with am na." Guy man was so relieved to stand up from the table. The go into the mall and she starts possing. Curved leg, bent yansh, tongue out and other positions. While he is snapping the pictures, he does a mental calculation of what they had ordered. Plate of eba 300 ×3 = 900 Shawarma 1500 ×3 = 4,500 Ice cream 500 × 3 = 1,500 Heineken = 400 Total= 7,300 plus the Glo 1k card he earlier promised = 8,300. 8,300 in less than 30 minutes. 8,300 for what he did not even taste from. He never even talk about their transport and the money those small rascals will still broda broda him. How much de e pocket sef? 1,250 - e own transport." "Abeg on your Bluetooth make I send my pictures" " iPhone doesn't use Bluetooth" he said still wondering how he would get himself out of this mess. " Just give me your number let me send it through WhatsApp. " Na fero torch light I de use" the girl responds. God!!! Who are all the people and how did I get here?? Sha God no go shame us. His blood pressure was rising and time was slowly ticking, from the corner of his eyes, he could see Krazy bae ordering for another plate of Banga soup and starch. Grab broda don already pull shirt with like 2 black bullets and 1 fearless standing fearlessly in his front. " The pictures are a bit dark, let me try the camera if it will work better outside" he tells her. As they walk towards the door, she asks him " So bros when we go come know your house na?? He doesn't reply cos he knows if he responds, he could give her the kind of beating Chelsea received a few days ago. They walk out the door and he tells her... " Check the corner of the building if e go make sense" as she walks towards the corner, he knows. IT'S NOW OR NEVER. He takes off his Gucci palm, folds his senator wear and runs for his dear life, straight into the main road... Even the cars on the road were no match for him... He's already at the express when he remembers that he had forgotten his wrist watch... But it doesn't matter ... All die na die but definitely not today. The end. Now I wrote this story solely for the purpose of laughter and entertainment. The country has really been in a difficult state ever since the inception of the Covid19 saga. Whichever means you can, put a smile on someone's face today. Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful week ahead. © Williamprime July 2020 Stay safe 3 Likes |
| Career / Re: Get Paid Udemy Courses For Free by Archangel20(m): 4:18pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
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DuBLINGreenb:what a long boring write up... In summary, use your skills and intellectual prowess to do something legal, not to put tears in the eyes of innocent people. Simple |
| Romance / Re: Giving 5k Each To 10 People by Archangel20(m): 7:35am On Jul 03, 2020 |
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| Romance / Ladies We Meet Online. by Archangel20(m): 9:10pm On Jul 02, 2020 |
Through the eyes of Pryme Klassy & Krazy (1) 80% of social media chats usually lead to the cute guy asking "can I have your number?" Yes, the guy has to be cute if not he won't even make it beyond the Hi and Hello stage �. Basically there are two different kinds of ladies that you find online. One is Klassy while the other is Krazy. Now the Klassy kind is not always available. She'll just come online once in a while, reply your offline message and go off again. No long chats. But as time passes, she'll begin to stay a little longer for you, and her replies will become livelier too. From replying your "Good evening" with "evening", she'll transform it to "evening dear" and if you're lucky enough she may even add an emoji to it �. And when you ask her how her day went, she'll give you an insight about it. Instead of the normal cliche of "fine", she'll be like "My day went well, though the rain seemed like it was stuck on replay" and like a very good bad guy, you'll tell her " that's nice, I guess the weather is trying to give you a sign*winks*". Now at this point, you haven't yet graduated to the level of "big head " but you know you have hope. Then after the usual what are you doing, have you eaten, make sure you're putting on a sweater cos the weather is kinda cold, finally you'll get to the point of " Can I have your number?" And she'll style a little and ask you why? But you can just easily send "lol" and tell her " I'll like to see the dark things you upload on your WhatsApp status". No how no how, her next message would be a " lol, I don't upload any dark status ooo", followed by an MTN number or Glo or both� and there you have it... Signed, Sealed and Delivered �. Now to the Krazy type of girls. Permit me to garnish it with pidgin cos e no get how I wan explain am pass. Those ones no get chill. Only them go send you friend request and message you at the same time. Normally you will even be feeling fly as normal guy man wey you be but when you start chatting with them you'll begin to wonder if their phones had incomplete keyboards. For straight one week, the only thing they'll reply you with is hi, hello, sup, fine, kk, hmm, really etc. Krazy girl no get time for okoto yarns. When you ask Krazy girl " so tell me about yourself" Krazy girl will tell you " Just be asking the questions, I'll answer". Now screenshot this reply cos it is one of the few times she'll ever type a sentence for you. Eventually you'll get fed up but you'll Sha manage to ask her for her number. She'll give you without any questions, even you sef go shock but last last you'll understand why. So as usual you'll carry her to WhatsApp like the way you carry your clients, but na there you go understand say Facebook and WhatsApp different but na the same person. In WhatsApp, her keyboard has been deleted, in fact she doesn't even have keyboard cos things are strictly on emoji levels. Here she seldom replies and her status bar is as busy as effurun market, always uploading Sydney Talker videos here and there. Her status alone be like seasonal movie. Even if she manage type reply give you, the longest word would be "awwwwwwwnnnn" with monkey emoji�. Last last you'll conclude that this one doesn't have sense and you'll just give her space cos you can't kill yourself. But after like two weeks when you've forgotten that you have one set awon deaf and dumb in your contact, message will just pop up from no where "Hi bby���". You sef will just smile and shake head. For your mind she don de observe your status and she don begin de love up. And you too will just reply her with "hello love�". From there she'll just suddenly develop the ability of constructing smart sentences( England standard) and sometimes she'll even give you those bed time selfies and voice notes�. E go be like say she and ncdc de compete for who get your inbox sef. She'll be in your dm 24/7 replying very fast like the daughter of Usain Bolt and when you don't reply her fast enough, she'll be like "� it seems like somebody is too busy for me but no problem though". You sef will even apologize like you and her are sharing hotspot and it's your obligation to reply her. Your pictures go de her status with Captions of "Missing my Duduke��" Within 2 days you've already gone from the "lol" level to "big head geng" and sky rocketed to the "if I catch you ehhh squad���." The thing sef go de do you like 2go starbooster. But on the 3rd day on Facebook, when you don start to de love up, that's when you'll understand wetin de corolate since. You'll understand that no be your yeye swag wey u think say u get make her start to de reason your matter. She'll start with Krazy: Bby? Guy man: Yes luv Krazy: Hmmmmmm, I'm ok and you Guy man: I'm good, how was your day? Krazy: Hmmm, not fine but never mind, how was yours? Guy man: was cool. Now at this point, she don already set leg for guy man, but baba no go use e brain Waka pass oo. He'll still come back and ask Guy man: Baby why not fine? Krazy:��� don't worry I'll be ok. Guy man: No. tell me, maybe I can help to brighten your day Krazy: Really � Guy man: You know I'm always here for you. Ghen Ghen Krazy: Baby MTN just warned me now. I have just 1mb remaining and I don't know if you can just send me like 2k let me sub. 3091203022 First Bank Thanks baby���. Or you can just sub for me directly. You already have my number. ��♂️��♂️��♂️��♂️ E go just do you like say make you unread the message and in that moment, everything go just clear 4 your eye like hypo. 2k ke!!!... You that is packaging yourself with mtn free mode and -750 account balance. And the moment you send her the " Sweetheart I wish I could help, I really don't have now but I'll see what I can do" Brother just forget it. There's nothing you can do and you know you cannot do anything. She's no longer your baby. She's now an adult android user without a keyboard again. If she manage reply you kk na by luck. She's no more a preacher of love... She is now a war... The chat Indaboski Bahose!!!!!� Sorry bro Back to square one or zero if u no see her status again � Cos even if you see it, you'll only see things like some boys are very stingy in this life Small Girl Big God 4 life.... The end. Stay safe © William_Pryme July 2020 4 Likes |
| Career / Re: Get A 9-5 Job In Lagos In Any Field Of Your Choice by Archangel20(m): 7:34am On Jul 02, 2020 |
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