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Who would you choose as the most impressive goal keeper in the picture below? Choose a letter

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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men, and small character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men, and small character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


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Take a minute to scan your surroundings. Are you in a familiar place or somewhere new? Stop reading this, and just look around you. Pick out an object, maybe something you hadn’t noticed before, and focus your attention on it. If you really focus, it’ll get brighter and more “real” than it was when it was just an unnoticed piece of the background noise of your life. Now, try to view your surroundings from the point of the object. Some people can do this with no effort, and for others, it takes some concentration. Depending on how adept you are at focusing your concentration, you may notice a slight shift in your perception – a weird jump in realty, where you are suddenly viewing the world from a different perspective.

Did it work? Whether you noticed anything or not, your perception did change, albeit for an instant. It’s important to be conscious of your perception, because if you’re not, someone else will create it for you.

Things aren’t always what they seem. Marketers and magicians rely on this fact to make you see things – the way they want you too see them. Artists do too.

We all get caught up in our stories. Most of us think we are our stories. It’s when those stories take on a life of their own, and that life isn’t the one we want, that things start to suck.

Think about the story you’re living right now. Who wrote it? Did you consciously decide to create the reality you’re living now, or was it mainly shaped by your parents, friends, spouse, school, or the media? If you don’t like the story your living, then change the perception. Envision how you’d write the next chapter of your story. Better yet, actually sit down and write it. Focus your perception on creating a new reality, one where you are in charge of the story. Take back the job as screenwriter and director, and stop just being an actor.

Everything begins with a decision – decide now to be in charge of your own perception of reality. Because if you don’t, there are plenty of folks whose sole purpose in life is to craft that perception for you. Do you trust them to have your best interest in mind…?

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People have a hard time trusting God with their lives and the lives of others when they're going through a difficult season. If life is going well, they easily trust, but when they feel like they can’t control what's going on, they start to panic. The problem is often that we see God as an idea and fail to see Him as a person. The remedy for panic is prayer.

Prayer is how we experience and connect to God. Of all the spiritual disciplines (fasting, studying, evangelism, etc.), prayer seemed to be an “easy” one. Have you ever felt like you don’t have anything important to pray about? Or that God doesn’t really answer? Or that He gets tired of hearing the same prayer over and over and over? I have felt these things, but I now understand they are lies that can keep me from communicating with my Heavenly Father. God has been faithfully teaching me to pray during both suffering and thanksgiving.

Are you thankful, happy, rejoicing? Paul tells us in I Thessalonians 5:17, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances...” Seasons of blessing can be an encouragement for us. It's important to remember that blessings come from God, and we can pray to Him in thankfulness as well. The greatest gift He gave us is His son, and for Christians, this life is as bad as it gets with Heaven as our future home. We don’t need to skip over the heartaches, but we need to look for reasons to be thankful and thank the Giver.

No matter what our circumstances, we can pray—anytime, anywhere.

Prayer gives us an accurate assessment of who we are. It encourages us to focus on God instead of ourselves and reveals our constant need for Him. Prayer opens our eyes to who we truly are (selfish people by nature, whether it’s subtle or blatant) and lifts our eyes toward our Creator so that He can reveal who He wants us to be, by His grace.

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As the dream of almost every parent, ‘Sameer’ acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When he arrived in USA, it was as if a dream had come true for him.

Here at last he was in a place where he always wanted to be. He decided that he would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time he would earn enough money to settle down in India.

His father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

He wanted to do some thing more than him. But sooner he started feeling homesickness and lonely as the time passed. After 2 years, he decided to get married. Told his parents that he has only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all his friends back home. If he miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home he did spent one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter he was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told him, to his surprise, that he would have to get married in 2-3 days only, as he will not get anymore holidays in near future to come back to the country again. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to his parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, he returned to USA.

His wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling his home country increased twice in a week, sometimes 3 times a week. His savings started diminishing. After two more years they started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to them by the Almighty. Every time he spoke to his parents, they asked him to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year they decided to visit their country. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting their own home was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day he got a message that his parents were seriously sick. He tried his hard but he couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not visit his parents. The next message he got was his parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights, the society members had done whatever they could do. He was extremely depressed. His parents had passed away without seeing their grand children — Aah …!

After couple more years passed away, much to his children’s dislike and his wife’s joy they returned to their country to settle down. He started to look for a suitable property, but to his dismay his savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. He had to return to the USA.

His wife refused to come back with him and his children refused to stay in their father’s home country. His 2 children and he returned back to USA after promising his wife that he would be coming back for good after two years.
Time passed by, his daughter decided to get married to a citizen in USA and his son was happy living in USA only. He decided that had enough now and will wound-up every thing and will return to his own country. He had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now he is 60 years old and the only time he goes out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. His faithful wife has also left him and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes he wondered was it worth all this? His father, even after staying in their home country, had a house to his name and he too have the same as of now, nothing more than that.

He lost his parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window he sees a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled the new generation and the children are losing their values and culture because of it. He get occasional cards from his children asking if he is alright.

Now perhaps after he will die, it will be the neighbors again who will be performing his last rights, God Bless them! But the question still remains the same – ‘was all this worth just for an extra bedroom flat finally?’

He is still searching for an answer…………….!!!!

Important Note: This article has nothing to do with religion or certain religious beliefs but it rather explains how prayers affect you psychologically with disregard to your beliefs.

Can prayer help you succeed, lose weight or get better grades?

Before I can tell you the answer to this question, I first need to tell you few facts about the way the mind works.

Indifference is a feeling a person gets when he no longer believes that his plans are going to work.
Procrastination can be caused by indifference in some cases.

In other words, when a person loses hope on his plans but a part of him refuses to admit that hope was lost he might become indifferent then procrastinate.

Now if someone started praying and asking God for help he automatically starts to believe that hope wasn't lost. The amount of hope a person gets depends on the strength of his beliefs. As a result this hope fuels the person's actions and he becomes more likely to succeed.

Prayers vs Affirmations

The first type of affirmations is the case where a person repeats something that he doesn't believe in and as a result his mind responds to this self deception with even more bad feelings. saying something like "I am becoming more confident everyday" could backfire at you as your subconscious mind will provide you with hundreds of clues that show that you weren't confident as soon as you repeat this affirmation.

The second type of affirmations is the one that makes sense to the mind and as a result gives the person a strong push towards his goals. For example an affirmation like "I will keep trying until i make it" will sound much more logical to your mind and the possibility of rejecting it becomes less.

Now prayer can be classified as a special case of the second type where your beliefs about what you are repeating is much more stronger.

Prayers can be considered a type of affirmations that helps you change your beliefs about your ability to succeed and so increases your chances of success.

All the success stories of successful people have one common thing which is the strong belief they had in themselves with disregard to the efforts of those who were trying to put them down.

In other words, if you found a source that can supply you with that solid belief in yourself then certainly you will succeed. Now what prayer does is that it acts as that source (provided that you believe in your prayers) and helps you believe that you will make it.

Once you believe you will make it your mindset changes, your behaviour follows and the achievements happen.

Anyone who has ever made and broken a New Year’s Resolution can appreciate the difficulty of behavior change. Making a lasting change in behavior is rarely a simple process, and usually involves a substantial commitment of time, effort and emotion.
Whether you want to lose weight, stop smoking, or accomplish another goal, there is no single solution that works for everyone. You may have to try several different techniques, often through a process of trial-and-error, in order to achieve your goal. It is during this period that many people become discouraged and give up on their behavior change goals. The key to maintaining your goals is to try new techniques and find ways to stay motivated.
Change might not come easy, but psychologists have developed a number of ways to effectively help people change their behavior. Many of these techniques are used by therapists, physicians, and teachers. Researchers have also proposed theories to explain howchange occurs. One of these theories, known as the Stages of Change model, has been used to help people understand the change process. This model demonstrates that change is rarely easy and often requires a gradual progression of small steps toward a larger goal.
Understanding the elements of change, the stages of change, and ways to work through each stage can help you achieve your goals.
In order to succeed, you need to understand the three most important elements in changing a behavior:

Readiness to change - Do you have the resources and knowledge to successfully make a lasting change?

Barriers to change - Is there anything preventing you from changing?

Expect relapse - What might trigger a return to a former behavior?
One of the best-known approaches to change is known as the "Stages of Change" model, which was introduced in the late 1970's by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente who were studying ways to help people quit smoking. The Stages of Change Model has been found to be an effective aid in understanding how people go through a change in behavior.
In this model, change occurs gradually and relapses are an inevitable part of the process of making a lifelong change. People are often unwilling or resistant to change during the early stages, but eventually develop a proactive and committed approach to changing a behavior.


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Suppose that you broke your leg in in an accident and had to use crutches in order to move around. As the days pass you'll find yourself getting more and more used to them and because of your injury you certainly won't be able to walk without them.

Now imagine how you'd feel if upon waking up one day you couldn't find your crutches. You will certainly feel irritated and maybe a little angry.

You will probably ask everyone in the house to help you find them and you won’t be able to move until you find them again.

Now the question is, do you love your crutches? Of course not, you just need them until you recover. The same goes for relationship dependency: where you think that you love a person while the truth is that you just need him because of your emotional wounds.

Relationship dependency is the case where someone gets involved in a relationship just because he is in need of a partner and not because he truly loves that person.

What's really bad is that most of the relationships people go for are a result of pure dependency and not real love and That’s why many of them end with break-ups.

Back to the previous example of the crutches. What do you think you will do when your legs heal and become able to move around normally again? You'll just put your crutches away somewhere and never think about them anymore.

The same goes for a relationship that was based on such a need. When you fall in love with someone in order to escape from a bad mood that you are experiencing or because of an unsolved problem then you'll most probably find that you no longer need that partner as soon this bad mood goes away.

When we face a lot of problems our need for someone to help us out and to take care of us become much bigger and that’s why most relationships that start at times like these are just a result of dependency and not real love. That’s why some of them may end with break-ups.

When you experience a time where you feel bad or disappointed then be aware that you are more vulnerable to falling in love with someone that you don’t really love. Just knowing this fact is enough to help you control your emotions until you get over your problems.

How to Pick a Partner

- Beware of the difference between love and need: Take special care not to fall in love with someone because you are feeling vulnerable or in need of help. It'd be far better to only get into relationships when you are feeling fine in order to make sure that you really love the person
- Have a vision: If the guy who lacked self confidence in the previous example knew for sure that he is going to develop self-confidence sometime in the future he would've guessed that his relation will terminate sooner or later. So when you pick a partner make sure to pick someone who can sustain the personal changes you are going to undergo in the future.
- Know more about relationship dependency: Understand the difference between love and relationship dependency. This is the only way you can avoid falling in the trap of loving someone just because you need him.


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- Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

- Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

- Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

- Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

- Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. If it was not earned or given, it is not yours.

- Respect all things that are placed upon this earth – whether it be people or plant.

- Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

- Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

- All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

- Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

- Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

- Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

- Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

- Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones will within this universe.

- Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

- Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

- Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others – especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

- Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

- Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

- Share your good fortune with others. Participate in charity.


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Did you know that taking charge of your life may actually improve your health? It turns out that the pursuit of happiness has a beneficial trickle-down effect.

Everyone wants to be healthier, and biologists are always testing things that affect the immune system. One study by Dr. Marian Diamond at the University of California at Berkeley indicated that the part of the brain that plans (the dorsolateral cortex) also communicates with our immune system. (There’s actually a documentary in the works about her called “My Love Affair with the Brain.”)

When Diamond found that mice with a diminished dorsolateral cortex did not produce immune cells, she tested a theory on humans. Several groups of women played contract bridge – a game that requires planning, memory, and strategy – while others passively listened to music. After an hour, those involved in the game showed an increase in immune cell production (CD4 cells), but there was no such benefit for the music listeners.

Diamond surmised that activities that stimulate the planning brain might also strengthen the immune system. "From our preliminary results showing that the game of bridge can increase CD4 cells," she said, "our research supports the possibility that taking control over your life can enhance your physical health."

To plan effectively, we need a sense of purpose, such as that touted in the 1980s by the late folklorist, Joseph Campbell. He urged people to direct their lives toward the "special track" that was waiting for them. Once found, then "the life that you should be living is the one you are living."

By “bliss” he meant that each person has skills and talents that collectively move us toward authentic self-expression. Bliss is our natural direction; it inspires the highest caliber of creativity and performance. Some people know the first time they put pen to page that they were born to write. Others feel most at home with law or engines or children.

Mary Lynn, a marketing director, came into her own after years of trying to work at other occupations. She was delighted that she finally found something that utilized her creative energy. "Achieving my bliss," she says, "is not essentially selfish. In the process of reaching into myself, I create something that others enjoy."

Therapist Pelli Wheaton believes that less than 10% of us are being our own true selves, because it takes courage to break patterns that block us. Those who live authentically, she observes, "radiate joy."

This joy is about fully exercising our potential. Yet what does this actually involve?

We can think of bliss as both the stimulus and the goal that gets us through an obstacle course, a.k.a., life. Bliss is not fate. It's more the idea that our style, background, and personality best match a particular vocation or avocation. The more we work within our bliss, the better it feels. While we can block it with fear or bad habits, we can also use discipline and self-awareness to achieve it.

In fact, that's the first obstacle: acquiring self-knowledge. We need to know what depletes our courage. We also need to know our personal strengths. Then we can try to avoid or minimize whatever hinders us and fully exploit whatever empowers us.

After that, we must honestly assess our talents, skills, and preferences. People often confuse bliss with something they've dreamed about becoming, such as an actor, yet having a poor memory would undermine a stage career. A dream is only a guide if it's realistic.

Based on our talents and opportunities, we can create a vision that identifies those actions (and people) that support it. Best-selling writer Dean Koontz first struggled through years of hardship, but keeping the best-sellers list in his mind helped him to persevere. He shut out naysayers and set clear goals that he derived from a sense of certainty that writing was what he was meant to do. Now every one of his novels hits the top of the charts.

A fourth step is to develop mental agility. That means we can see things from many angles, which offers resilience when we need it. Figuring out what best expresses us can be hard work, especially if we have few supporters. At times, we'll need to reframe setbacks.

Identifying the type of work that will satisfy us, grow our potential, and bring us joy gives us both mental and physical advantages. It makes us healthier. It gives us a sense of direction and momentum. Thanks to science, we also have good reason for focusing on that “special track” that is meant for us.

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If you’re a mom, your world most likely revolves around your children. Being a parent definitely brings incredible joy and is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, but it’s also very exhausting. Moms are on duty 24/7, with no weekends or sick days off. Our kids are the most important things in our lives, but sometimes we can get so caught up and focused on them that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Self-neglect and ignoring your personal needs can then make you feel tired, stressed, worn out, and unhealthy. In fact, the less you focus on your needs, the less vibrant and healthy you will feel plus the more difficult it becomes to deliver on your kids’ needs. When you take the time to focus on yourself and your needs, you will not only have more energy, but you will also be healthier and happier, and have better interaction with your children hence become a better mom.

So how do you stay healthy and happy when you’re struggling to manage a million tasks and be the best mom possible as well? Here are some simple and realistic ways you can become healthier – no matter how busy you are:

1. Don’t skip breakfast. You’re vigilant about making sure your kids get a healthy breakfast every morning, but what about you? A simple cup of coffee is not the perfect healthy way to start your day. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it sets the tone for your entire day.

2. Snack Smartly. Cut up veggies (celery, bell peppers, cucumbers, etc.) and fruits in advance and place in individual Ziploc bags in the refrigerator so you can grab an easy, healthy snack when you’re on the go. Healthy snacks and mini meals throughout the day are a great way to keep energy levels high.

3. Eat right. Avoid highly processed and fast foods, stay away from excess sugar and focus on a healthy diet comprised of wholesome fresh foods. Increase your consumption of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains and, eat organic if possible.

4. Don’t buy foods you know you shouldn’t be eating. Avoid buying junk foods such as chips, cookies, sodas, and/or ice cream. You know it’s harder to resist these foods when they’re in the house; and if you’re buying them for the kids, just stop they don’t need them either.

5. Exercise. Don’t let your workout get pushed off. Schedule your exercise just like you would an important work meeting or a parent-teacher conference. Try scheduling your exercise at the same time every day either first thing in the morning or in the evening when you have the most time.

6. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to avoid dehydration. Mild dehydration can affect your body even before you know you’re thirsty, and may leave you with a headache, fatigue, or lack of energy.

7. Get enough sleep. Getting adequate sleep is not only important for your health, but it also helps boost your mood and reduces stress.

8. Relax. Take the time to relax and de-stress. Stop and BREATHE (slowly and deeply), refocus and regroup. Perhaps try yoga or meditation.

9. Find some time for yourself. You deserve a break every once in a while. Plan for at least 3 hours a week for some alone time, walk around the mall, cuddle up somewhere quiet and read a book, give yourself a facial, or take a long relaxing bath.

10. Be positive. Change your thinking from negative to positive and you can drastically change your life with appreciation and gratitude.


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Some people insist that every feeling they notice needs to be expressed to their partner or friends. They fear that by holding back, they’ll diminish themselves or lose self-respect. They maintain that by holding something back, they’re not being fully authentic, which might undermine trust and connection.

Other people habitually keep their feelings and desires inside, fearful that if they’re expressed, this might fuel arguments and create distance. A fear of conflict or rejection prompts them to withhold their true feelings, which keeps them imprisoned in a small, isolated world.

The potential pitfall of expressing every emotion is that it can begin to wear on the relationship, which becomes more about processing issues than enjoying each other’s company. Also, our manner of expression may injure trust if laced with subtle criticisms and shame.

The potential pitfall of not expressing our feelings is that we accumulate residues that ultimately gum up the connection. Intimacy requires authentic sharing of our hearts, which includes revealing how we’re being affected by each other, whether positively or negatively.

Just as Buddhism talks about the Middle Way — a path between self-denial and self-indulgence — we may need to find a middle path between indulging every feeling by voicing it and the self-suppression of stuffing our feelings.

Suggestion: Before expressing your feelings, needs, or viewpoints to a particular person, take some time to pause, lest you blurt out something that might be destructive and injurious that you might later regret. Go inside yourself and notice what signals your body is giving you about whether it feels “right” or wise to share something. Are you in a reactive mode? Or can you speak from a deep, authentic, and tender place? Do you feel safe enough to share it? Does it feel “right” to take a risk?

By “right,” I don’t mean right versus wrong, but rather does it resonate, fit, or ring true inside to say something? Focusing, an approach developed by Eugene Gendlin, is one helpful way to attune to ourselves and learn how to listen to and trust our inner felt sense of important concerns.

Some Considerations: Is there something you need from your partner before taking the risk to share your feelings or wants? Perhaps you have a need to be heard without judgment or not being interrupted (but don’t go on too long! We all have limited attention spans).

Do you have the intention to connect ... or be hurtful? Do you want to explore what’s true or are you clinging to being right? Are you coming from a place of fear or heartfelt caring? If you notice fear or hurt, take some time to be gentle with it, allowing it to settle before speaking.

Fear, hurt, and shame are often triggers for anger and blame. Consider sharing these more primary feelings, such as prefacing your words with, “This is scary for me to say” or “I feel a little vulnerable to say this.”

By attuning to your deepest feelings and wants, you can be true to yourself by sharing your genuine experience, yet in a way that’s more likely to create connection rather than fuel conflict and escalate tension.

Each couple needs to decide what works for them. But perhaps not every feeling or concern needs to be addressed. Sometimes it’s more prudent to soothe yourself rather than raise a potentially volatile issue. For example, if you notice your partner looking at another man or woman, you might ask yourself, “Is it really a big deal? Is this worth bringing up or might it introduce a sour note to our lovely walk in the park? Can I just let this go or let this be?”

If a feeling or concern keeps recurring, then perhaps it’s wise to share it rather than be consumed by an internal dialogue that keeps you spinning your wheels and feeling distant in the relationship.

It takes mindfulness and wisdom to catch issues early and address them skillfully so that our relationships can move toward their fullest potential. Psychotherapy and couples counseling can be helpful venues for exploring patterns and nuances that might be interfering with a blossoming of love and intimacy.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein

It's never easy to admit you've made a mistake, but it's a crucial step in learning, growing, and improving yourself.Many of us — though more likely most of us — fear making mistakes. And it makes sense. We live in a mistake-phobic society, according to clinical psychologist Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.

The most important life lessons we will ever learn will be from the bad decisions we make. Time and experience can be excellent teachers when you actually learn a lesson from your poor decisions. Experience comes from our way of living, understanding and the adjustments we make. It also comes from suffering, agony and the ordeals we are afflicted by.

You can only learn from a mistake after you admit you've made it. As soon as you start blaming other people (or the universe itself), you distance yourself from any possible lesson. But if you courageously stand up and honestly say "This is my mistake and I am responsible" the possibilities for learning will move towards you. Admission of a mistake, even if only privately to yourself, makes learning possible by moving the focus away from blame assignment and towards understanding. Wise people admit their mistakes easily. They know progress accelerates when they do.

This advice runs counter to the cultural assumptions we have about mistakes and failure, namely that they are shameful things. We're taught in school, in our families, or at work to feel guilty about failure and to do whatever we can to avoid mistakes. This sense of shame combined with the inevitability of setbacks when attempting difficult things explains why many people give up on their goals: they're not prepared for the mistakes and failures they'll face on their way to what they want. What's missing in many people's beliefs about success is the fact that the more challenging the goal, the more frequent and difficult setbacks will be. The larger your ambitions, the more dependent you will be on your ability to overcome and learn from your mistakes.

But for many reasons admitting mistakes is difficult. An implied value in many cultures is that our work represents us: if you fail a test, then you are a failure. If you make a mistake then you are a mistake (You may never have felt this way, but many people do. It explains the behavior of some of your high school or college friends). Like eggs, steak and other tasty things we are given letter grades (A, B, C, D and F) organizing us for someone else's consumption: universities and employers evaluate young candidates on their grades, numbers based on scores from tests unforgiving to mistakes.
For anyone who never discovers a deeper self-identity, based not on lack of mistakes but on courage, compassionate intelligence, commitment and creativity, life is a scary place made safe only by never getting into trouble, never breaking rules and never taking the risks that their hearts tell them they need to take.

Learning from mistakes requires three things:

* Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes
* Having the self-confidence to admit to them
* Being courageous about making changes


We need to learn from our mistakes so that we do not run the risk of repeating them. We must develop the wisdom and sense to make good decisions and choices. Good judgment will only develop if you truly learn from your mistakes. Unfortunately, for many people, it takes a few repeats of the same mistake to learn the lesson.

Good or bad, experiences are what help us learn lessons and form a better sense of judgment. Bad judgment seems to stick with us longer as a lesson learned because we really do not want to keep repeating it. Wisdom is the knowledge you can gain from making mistakes.


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In 1985, IBB was the president of Nigeria and our teachers told us that Buhari was the former Head of state. Our teacher also called us "the leaders of tomorrow". 28 years later, IBB and Buhari are still contesting for Presidency.

In 1983, Bamanga Tukur was the Governor of the defunct Gongola State (now Adamawa & Taraba) and 30 years later, he is today the Chairman of the ruling Party, The PDP. Dr. Bello Halliru was commissioner in the Old Sokoto State (now Sokoto, Kebbi & Zamfara) and 33 years after he is today Minister of Defence; Major General David Mark(rtd) was the military governor of Niger State in 1984 and 28years later he is today the Senate President; Gov. Murtala Nyako was the governor of Niger State in 1976 and 36years later he is today the Governor of Adamawa State; Ogbonnaya Onu was governor of Abia State in 1992 and 20years after he is today the National Chairman of ANPP; Gov. David Jonah Jang was the governor of Benue State in 1985 and 27years after he is today the governor of plateau state; and Martins Elechi the Ebonyi State Governor is over 80 years old! Only in Nigeria is this possible, where the youth of today have no hope into the future! From strike in health sector, to the labour, to judiciary, to Education and today our students are home lavishing!

Its either our teacher lied to us about being the leaders of tomorrow. Or tomorrow is yet to come. Who's fooling who?

Let Nigerian youth come to an alliance and fight for the unborn. We can't continue like this. Pass it to everyone if you believe in the NIGERIA DREAM. Let’s tell them ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! SHARE this till they see it. It’s a good place to start

God bless Nigeria!!!

The most important asset a bank has is its credibility. The bank’s credibility is carried by the governor and is embodied in the person of the governor. It is this credibility that makes national and international commerce go on. It is why when merchants offer goods and services for sell they demand payment by bank check. Because if the bank says that it has the money the seller is at ease. Note that merchants would not accept cash even when the cash is the legal tender.

When the governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria says that $50 billion is missing from his bank and it turns out not to be true, he could no longer continue in this post for he has lost (its greatest asset) the faith and trust of citizens and international community. Many things make this error chilling to most of us who have studied business especially accounting.

The amount of money involved. $50 billion is a lot of money in any economy including US economy. If the governor woke up and discovered that $50 billion was missing, his first reaction would be that it is impossible. It would be impossible because there would have been many warning signs. $50 billion could not be a single transaction, but literally thousands of transactions and thousands of transactions cannot pass through the eye of a needle without notice.

If his subordinates insisted that the sum is missing, he would call and ask for the dates the deposits were expected and when the last deposit was made. If they still could not find out what happened, he would personally place a call to the Petroleum Minister and alerted her on what his people were seeing. -

The fact that Mr. Lamido Sanusi did not do these things means one of two things: (a) he was not truly searching for the truth but to add to Obasanjo’s allegations of corruption and thus throw the administration to the wolf by causing national and international loss of faith in his country and throw the economy into a free fall. Or (b) he is truly ignorant of how these payments are actually made; has nobody on his staff who understands this business; is unaware of the implications of a loss of $50 billion to Nigerian economy; does not understand how important his credibility and the bank’s credibility were to the world or worse, does not really care. Either way Mr. Sanusi is damaged goods and will not be able to regain the level of trust he should be carrying around.

The fact that GEJ could not fire him should be the main reason why Mr. Sanusi should offer his resignation immediately and GEJ ought to accept it. It is noble to know when on has made a major mistake and to accept responsibility for it.

Far too many things broke down in this rush to judgment from system internal controls, to accounting controls and finally to selfcontrol.Basic knowledge of double entry bookkeeping is lacking in this organization. Mr. Sanusi should understand all this. He should know that the next time he says that 50K is missing, somebody out there, would wonder if this is another of his delusions.

Sanusi's achievement under CBN governor

- he rescued the banking industry from near- collapse four years ago
- he led the Monetary Policy Committee in increasing the benchmark interest rate by six percentage points to a record 12 percent from September 2010 to October 2011 to bolster the currency and curb inflation.
- he has a strong personality and a lot of people in vested in the country just because of the personal relationship and the trust in Sanusi, and the confidence that Sanusi inspires
- he criticized China’s role in Africa, saying it’s contributing to “deindustrialization and underdevelopment” in the world’s poorest continent. Africa must shake off its “romantic view of China” and see it as a competitor that’s “capable of the same forms of exploitation as the west,” Sanusi wrote in the London-based Financial Times on March 11.
- he was named the 2013 Emerging Markets Central Bank of the Year Award for Sub-Saharan Africa, making it the third time he would receive the honour.

Indeed you have truly served your fatherland but Do not let mistakes ruin all what you have built and achieved.

One day about 2,000 years ago an angel named Gabriel appeared to a young Jewish woman named Mary. Gabriel told Mary she would have a son, Jesus, who would be the Son of God! Mary was confused and worried about this sudden news, but she had faith in God and said, "I am the Lord's servant; let it be as you say."
Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Wise Men

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: "'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'" Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Gifts

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him."

Fleeing to Egypt

So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son."

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead."

So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: "He will be called a Nazarene."

~ H.S

Interested in starting your own business but thinkin about the capital? While it can be difficult to start a business with little capital, it is absolutely possible. In some ways, it can even be less risky and less complicated.

Here are some ways to build up your business from scratch:

1. Keep Working Another Job – If you’re not getting instant cash by taking out a business loan, your startup capital will have to come from your savings. Set money aside, separately from other savings, in amounts that you won’t miss on a daily basis. Your savings will only grow if you don’t draw on it for living expenses or other necessities.

When you’re ready to start your business, it could benefit you to keep your job at the outset, as keeping your salary while you’re starting up can take a lot of the pressure off of your first few months, or years, in business. And the benefits don’t end at your salary—your health insurance, retirement plan, and sick/vacation days are all things that you’ll have to pay for on your own when you’re self-employed.

2. Reinvest Your Profits Back Into Your Business – Using your profits to pay for living expenses or to pay down other debts will limit how fast your company can grow. You’ll maintain your highest level of working capital if you reinvest your profits back into your business. Whether you invest in new products, technology, or employees, your goal is to grow your business by attracting new and more customers. You can also choose to invest in marketing or advertising to grow your customer base.


3. Keep Your Overhead Low – You won’t need a huge business loan if you keep things small at the start, and grow organically. If you can get away with working at home, or not needing to rent a space or invest at the outset in new technology, you can keep your overhead low, therefore not needing to cover huge bills at the outset when you could be investing your profits into your business instead. If you can keep your overall running expenses on the low end, this will help you be better able to reinvest your profits back into your company. Once your company starts to grow and your income becomes more reliable, you can start to take on larger overhead costs without it slowing your rate of growth.

I started my rare book company with one book and less than $100. By reinvesting the profits from the first few sales into more inventory, I quickly learned that growing slowly yet steadily would allow me to stay in business without having to take out a loan. Working from home kept my overhead low, as I didn’t need to pay for additional rent or utilities. For my first five years in business, I kept working my day job, which easily covered my living expenses, so the business could grow organically from its own profits.


Starting a business without a loan has its limitations, but it can also lessen the risk involved. It can be a good way to test out the world of entrepreneurship, trying out your ideas and testing new markets. You can also feel more confident learning from your mistakes, knowing you have a safety net underneath you. If you use the money you make/safe from your sweat to invest in a business, you will work harder to make the business successful cos you will always be remembering what it takes for you to make the money in the first place.


For free consultation/advice on how to start a business or how to make your business grow. Contact me.

Interested in starting your own business but hesitant to take out a huge business loan? While it can be difficult to start a business with little capital, it is absolutely possible. In some ways, it can even be less risky and less complicated.

Here are some ways to build up your business from scratch:

1. Keep Working Another Job – If you’re not getting instant cash by taking out a business loan, your startup capital will have to come from your savings. Set money aside, separately from other savings, in amounts that you won’t miss on a daily basis. Your savings will only grow if you don’t draw on it for living expenses or other necessities.

When you’re ready to start your business, it could benefit you to keep your job at the outset, as keeping your salary while you’re starting up can take a lot of the pressure off of your first few months, or years, in business. And the benefits don’t end at your salary—your health insurance, retirement plan, and sick/vacation days are all things that you’ll have to pay for on your own when you’re self-employed.

2. Reinvest Your Profits Back Into Your Business – Using your profits to pay for living expenses or to pay down other debts will limit how fast your company can grow. You’ll maintain your highest level of working capital if you reinvest your profits back into your business. Whether you invest in new products, technology, or employees, your goal is to grow your business by attracting new and more customers. You can also choose to invest in marketing or advertising to grow your customer base.


3. Keep Your Overhead Low – You won’t need a huge business loan if you keep things small at the start, and grow organically. If you can get away with working at home, or not needing to rent a space or invest at the outset in new technology, you can keep your overhead low, therefore not needing to cover huge bills at the outset when you could be investing your profits into your business instead. If you can keep your overall running expenses on the low end, this will help you be better able to reinvest your profits back into your company. Once your company starts to grow and your income becomes more reliable, you can start to take on larger overhead costs without it slowing your rate of growth.

I started my rare book company with one book and less than $100. By reinvesting the profits from the first few sales into more inventory, I quickly learned that growing slowly yet steadily would allow me to stay in business without having to take out a loan. Working from home kept my overhead low, as I didn’t need to pay for additional rent or utilities. For my first five years in business, I kept working my day job, which easily covered my living expenses, so the business could grow organically from its own profits.


Starting a business without a loan has its limitations, but it can also lessen the risk involved. It can be a good way to test out the world of entrepreneurship, trying out your ideas and testing new markets. You can also feel more confident learning from your mistakes, knowing you have a safety net underneath you. If you use the money you make/safe from your sweat to invest in a business, you will work harder to make the business successful cos you will always be remembering what it takes for you to make the money in the first place.


For free consultation/advice on how to start a business or how to make your business grow. Contact me.

I must say that I am really impressed with the development going on in Ogun state. After my college education, I left the country to move on with life. I wasn't really interested much in politics but it is my aim to make a greater contribution towards the development of our noble state. I was able to gained a lot of ideas about youth empowerment while I was away. Now that I am back in the country, this is an opportunity for me to make an impact in the life of Ogun youth. A lot of development are going around Ogun state at the moment,to be honest, this has been long due awaited development.
I have developed a program that will encourage, educate, motivate and challenge youth to reach their highest potential and enhance the quality of leadership skills. The aim of the program is to encourage youth to take active roles as community leaders and social entrepreneurs. With these skills, they can build strong community ties, guiding them to make positive life choices and enrich the community by forging future leadership roles.
Also, with the development going on in the state, it is the duty of youth to make their own contribution by working voluntarily in assisting with road constructions, environmental work in the state for out state to become one of the best in the country. We do not have to wait for government to do everything for us.
Agbajo owo ni a fi n soya, owo kan ko gbe eru dori . Any Ogun youth interested should drop their email contact to know more about the program.

Thanks

Depends on your capital. I can give you 1 or 2 ideas free about micro finance.

I am writing to you with a new business idea I have been developing over the past few years. After much planning and research, the time has finally come to bring it to market.I am a free thinker,a problem finder and a solution hunter.I think about problems and try to find instant solutions to this problem.
I work in line with your budget and still give you the very best. For now, I am not interested in meeting anyone at the moment not until I give you free business idea to test and if it works for you, then we can share a lot of business idea together.

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