₦airaland Forum

@passing shot: Luckily for me, your disbelief will not change the facts. No one has anything to prove on a faceless forum, least of all me. The fact that you find my assertions hard to believe only makes me kneel down and thank God for the rare gift I have in my daughter.

@OP: Please allow your child's full potential to be harnessed. If he isn't showing signs of strain, and is enjoying what he is learning, then encourage him and congratulate the school.

To those who believe a giving a child an education that is above par has disadantages, I'd honestly like to hear what those disadvantages are.

@udoka and hummingbird: i got duphaston at 2,100 and cyclogest at 4, 900. thanks again ladies.

@hummingbird: thanks my sister. bless you
@chiejik: so sorry about your loss. I know how sad it can be. But my prayer for you is may God compensate you double for your loss. @favored gal: thanks. two e-pecks to your little one for me.

Hi ladies. Can anyone who used Duphaston and Cyclogest give me the price? Is it readily available in pharmacies in Nigeria? Thanks ladies, and a safe delivery to all.

@topic: As incredible as it sounds(and I know this sounds far fetched) but, my daughter will be starting in at Nursery 1 on Monday and she writes 1 - 200 on her own. She's 3. She can also do basic additions, subtractions and can write two and three letter words. Just like your son, she's also been taught basic sentence construction. So your son's school is not over doing it.

While I understand your concerns about your child developing at a reasonable pace, I still feel you should be proud of him and the school, especially if he's recieving a well rounded education that includes mental, physical, social and moral developement.

Truth is, we live in a highly competitive world, and it isn't too early to begin to equip your child with much needed education, especially in this era where most employers operate a policy of 'the younger, the better.'

Good men may be hard to find but there are still ladies out there who have multiple suitors, as many as three in some cases. that goes to show you that in many cases, the women may be the problem. there are so many things that put men off. unfortunately, the older a lady gets, the more clingy she becomes in hopes of getting a husband, and if there is one thing most men hate, it is clingy behaviour.

Then there is the issue of what we Nigerians refer to as 'wife material' vs 'girlfriend material'. When a man is searching for a wife, no matter how modern he is, he looks for 'a good girl', and that means a girl who can cook, lives with her parents preferably and dresses decently.

If you really want a husband and a good one too, these steps may help.

1. Go to God for direction and build a solid relationship with Him first.
2. Learn to love and appreciate yourself. Build up your self confidence.
3. Get a career and a hobby. Fill your time. Also, develope yourself intellectually. No man wants an air head as a wife.
4. Get decent clothes! Dressing can make you look either immature or in control. Revealing clothes especially are a no no. that is not to say you should turn to an mgbeke. Look good, and well put together always.
5. Regardless of your age, do not be desperate. Guys can sniff desperation on a woman.
6. Develope friendships with men without expecting marriage from them. Be platonic friends. And if you are a good friend, he might just want to go the next step. Afterall most men want their wives to be their friends above all else. And even if your platonic friend doesn't marry you, you may meet his friends.
7. Be approachable. Yes maybe you are self made, drive an exotic car and have an enviable job, but humility will win you the day. Don't flaunt your accomplishments. And yes, live at home with your parents if you can. It will give guys the impression that you are not out of control(this in particular is something that endeared me to my in laws at first meeting)
8. Finally, do not be overtly demanding. No man wants to be an ATM machine. Earn your own money, no matter how little.

And my prayer for you my fellow sisters is that God will wipe your tears, give you a man, and not just any man but one tailor made for you.

Both Ese Walter and Pastor Fatoyinbo have some blame in this.

For starters, consentual sex between adults can never and will never be abuse. She may claim to have been psychologically and emotionally coerced into the affair by virtue of the Pastor's standing, but I think that is rubbish. even as a very young teenager, I recieved sexual advances from people I considered influential but that fact did not make me cave in. Even a tern year old knows the difference between right and wrong, how much more a grown woman like Miss. Walter.

The fact that she owns a blog makes me wonder if this isn't some cheap publicity stunt aimed at driving traffic to her blog.

I also wonder what she aims to gain by going public with this story. Remorse and repentance are very private affairs. If she is sorry, she should be asking God for forgiveness discreetly. Jesus was a strong advocate of being sincere by doing things in private and not judging others. the pastor is probably guilty but she should be more interested in making aamends with God, and leave the pastor to face God's judgement.

The pastor on the other hand is supposed to be a moral beacon, and set good examples. the fact that he has neither affirmed nor debunked these accusations make me want to believe he is guilty. Still, we are all human, pastors inluded and we all err, but refusing to tackle this matter head on by not admitting guilt and apologising will only make the sore fester, and take away what little moral standing he has.

I think he is lucky he can hide behind the average Nigerian's penchant for pastor worship instead of God worship.

What's done is done. Accept guilt if you are guilty, apologise and move on. It is hard, but it is sincere and will earn you respect.

@Kulyie: so sorry about the omission. wasn't intentional. no vex. your comments were really appreciated.

Thanks all. @ Madam CC, Biolabee and Damiso: Great insight as always. Most of the problem I have is with holidays. But I did get some helpful hints on here, so thanks guys. May God bless your homes.

Thanks all. @Uju and greatgod, I am not a stay at home mum. She goes to school and the school also provides after school care till I pick her up. I have no problem with that and I am actually quite comfortable with the school.

I also teach her to be careful, stay away from strangers, accept nothing from strangers and the like. It helps that she is highly intelligent.

But for some reasons, I just cant trust her with neighbours and relatives. I know it is God who protects, still I feel like most people don't really pay as much attention as they should, especially to feamale children.

One of my neighbours for instance leaves her child of same age at different people/neighbour's home practically all day. So, I really dont fancy leaving my daughter with her cos I imagine she'll do the same. She also tried to persuade me to leave my daughter in the care of her twenty something yr old brother.

Oh well, I'll just chalk it up to being paranoid cos she's the only one for now. I hope I do relax after the second one like you guys say.

@Kulyie: your first post had me laughing.

Thanks Biola. My husband and mum think I am overdoing it. Good to know someone thinks I am not paranoid. i think part of it is that she's a girl, and i know perverts abound. I can't even leave her in the care of any male.

Hi,

It scares me silly to leave my child in other people's care regardless of who they are because I just feel like no one can take care of her as well as I do. Even when dh forces me to let her go on play dates I spend the whole time she's away freaking out, and asking myself a million 'what ifs'

Here's a little incident: i was forced to leave her in the care of a neighbourto go get something in an area where a bit of road construction was going on(I considered the area unsafe for her)When I returned about fifteen minutes later, this neighbour had allowed my daughter to go out with another neighbour and her kids. I freaked out, and was jittery until they returned about 40minutes later.

So guys, am I going overboard with my concerns for her safety, or am I well within reasonable limits? I'd love to hear from parents especially.

@OP: Your write up is funny but not entirely true. No man is perfect, but there are still some good guys out there. Marriage is actually a good thing, believe it or not.

Ebubechukwu- God's glory

@tjskii: there were no fibroids detected. I find this whole thing weird because I conceived my first child without issues immediately after I got married, and the pregnancy was uneventful and without complications. Anyway I'm trying to stay positive about it all knowing that once he problem is detected and solved, I will have another baby.

@tjskii, marygold and agiboma: thank you so much for the kind words. Both my miscarriages were in the first trimester. The first was 9weeks while the second was 11weeks. With the second there was neither fetal pole nor heartbeat but with the second there was both fetal pole and heartbeat. But what I find curious is that both times, the sonographer found some free fluid in my pelvis which he said indicates an infection. First time it was there, immediately after the evacuation it was gone, now there's fluid again. I plan on having some tests run. Meanwhile I would really appreciate it if anyone can refer me to a good gynecologist around egbeda or Ikeja. And for those who have a bit of experience with miscarriages, what tests should I have? Thanks a lot everyone. Congratulations monie!

Hi ladies. If princess, sincerely sorry about your loss. I started getting cramps Wednesday evening. By the next morning they had intensified so I went to the hospital. As soon as the nurse finished checking my vitals, I got up and instant led felt a warm gush down my legs. Well, I had a miscarriage. Had an evacuation same evening. This is my second miscarriage in 5 months. I will be going in for tests next week but I could use some advice from ladies in the house. Agiboma, your account scared me a bit, but its good to know you are feeling better. Thank God they were able to bring your bp down. All the best ladies, and a safe delivery to all the pregnant ladies.

Oscar the grouch all the way!

Modified.

yay!!! congratulations agiboma. now you have a boy and a girl. you are blessed. God's word says 'the blessing of God maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow to it'. this particular blessing will be a source of boundless joy to yo IJN. wishing you a quick recovery.

welcome byvan and happy easter all!

marygold hi. good to hear you are doing great. dont worry too much about the discharge thing like tjskii said. with my first pregnancy, i didnt really get a discharge and my baby turned out fine. with this one though, the discharge has been crazy and is just like tjskii described.

another thing, try not to put so much stock in what people say(not that you shouldn't heed good advice from time to time though). what i'm trying to say is that if you listen to everyone, you'll just get unnecessarily scared and worried. 12 weeks! you've almost crossed the first trimester hurdle.

congratulations wendy!e-hugs and hisses to the little princess. may her coming be a source of strength, blessings and joy to your household.

@pinkydaisy: if everything checks out, you may be able to go home immediately. i had my daughter 11.30pm and was discharged around 10am the next morning.

good morning ladies. hope everyone is doing okay today, especially pinkydaisy. i'm guessing agiboma would have done the deed by now. congratulations. marygold how are you these days? are you showing yet? my tummy has started coming out small small.

just popping in to say hello. great day to all the beautiful women in the house. oh, and by the way when do you ladies think is the best time to register for ante-natal?

thanks tjskii. during my first pregnancy, i also used pregnacare original without any issues. i think i should just revert to that before over sabi will put me in trouble.

Hello ladies. I read that omega oil capsules contain vit A which is risky for pregnancy. but I heard its just the oils gotten from the liver of the fish. please does anyone know how safe pregnacare omega 3 oil is? i have also heard some ladies say pregnacare may not be very safe. why is that? i've been using pregnacare. should i stop?

basically, i think we should discuss our prenatal vitamins so we all know what's safe and what's not.

marygold how are you doing? pop in and say hi.

sexyshe: My urine was tested and the result was trace of protein ,I don't understand what it means can someone pls explain

not very sure but I think protein in urine during pregnancy is one of the markers for pre-eclampsia(a hypertensive condition in pregnancy) other signs include fluid retension and migraines. what did your doctor say afterwards? cut down on your salt intake if you can by the way. cheers.

we'll be praying for you as you go to the doctor today. unfortunately, same thing happened to me late last year. if by today, you are still told the baby is just measuring 8wks. then my advice would be to follow the doctor's advice and have an evacuation so that you can look forward to concieving again without complications. lost my pregnancy in december and took in again in january so dont despair and keep us updated.

thankyou marygold and agiboma. i really want to do an ultrasound but i've been told having several US may not be safe in early pregnancy. i've had 2 already so i'm holding on till the end of the first trimester. looking into this cyclogest issue.
@marygold: your story is really inspiring. it cheered me up and made me laugh(the forming good girl part)anyway i know with faith that this baby is fine, and come october he/she will be delivered without any problems.
@agiboma: we are all still waiting with bated breath. you owe us a very very detailed birth story after the deed is done. i wonder why i cant get enough of these birth stories.

hello to all the other ladies here. who else is due in october apart from marygold and i?

Hello ladies. i'm kind of worried given my past mmc. i just dont feel pregnant. last ultrasound was at 7wks. actually measured 7wks 2days instead of 6wks 6days. i was told that's a good thing. its been two weeks since then and i have no pregnancy symptoms. i am worried sick. last week i had a bit of fever in the afternoons but that is gone. is this normal? even my bosoms are not tender, nothing!

@marygold: congratulations. our God is ever faithful. hello to all the ladies in the house. i trust we are all doing great.

@vikin: sounds like you used a very good hospital. is it by any chance in lagos?