₦airaland Forum

Momoney77:
So how does she proves she deserves you.??
Nice breakdown though. I like the step by step method of the write up.

She doesn't fully prove she deserves you. She got to keep being on her toes. I know this sounds crazy but that's how they are wired. Like that lecturer that noone gets an A in his course. Remember that as a man, your value is in your non sexual attention. So you ve got to put a premium on it as well not just with her, but with any woman.
When she comes back, you lay the cards. Avoid arguments. There is this sort of calm assertiveness you have to exhude that will rattle her. Most times it is very difficult as the man is still emotional, so he tries to argue with her.
Never take her back easily aswell. Always just let her feel you can walk away even at any point. Don't necessarily have to be a dick, but you will know when it happens. Nothing keeps them more in their toes when they feel their position is threatened.
If you perfect this, she will be soo loyal, she could even do any crazy bed style she never did in the past, but never forget that she doesn't love you. She only loves how you make her feel or what she feels she could get. Trust me, time down the line if you fail to be on your toes again, she will go back to her old ways. So this move is best as an exit strategy while finding a replacement.

I have a girl right now who messed up very bad with me, I got myself together and moved on.. However she came.. begged and is now "back" . I ve taken her back, but what she did was so bad, she just has to face the consequences. She thinks we going to marry and live happily ever after, cos my love is "True". Maybe I look like 2nd Jesus so will forgive easily with flowers and roses. It's a pity she came back.
Well, I ll reform her for the next guy.

I think I should also open a thread on "breaking point of men" This is a point where a man who once loved you, now doesn't care, except for revenge.

Limitededition10:
exactly bro you are on point but how can you correct this mistake after it happens. Cc ubunja this is what i need your view about

Nothing more infuriating than a girl trying to make you work hard for a pucsy you once had on your palms.
.
This is why we always tell men Never to apologise to a woman. No matter the situation. Do not show weakness. Cos you are sending yourself down to the "back to the starting point" away from the p. The attraction instantly drops.

Whenever you want to "makeup" or "return" to a girl, more often than not you will be too emotional and show signs of being poosywhooped, which is already a weak position.
.
Firstly, You need to be calm! Being emotional is feminine and that's what chased you away from her pucsy in the first place.
2ndly, You have to let her feel she is missing something. Maybe your life in a way has to change.. Etc. You have to put a value on her dating you. You must first let her know or feel that you have options even when you comeback even if you ve had no ass since she left. Can't stress this enough. She can't just walk back in 100% easily, else she will misuse it.

All these boil down to your Nonsexual attention. It is your currency. Which is your time, energy, resources. When you upgrade your life(career/social group/finances/appearance), you basically increase the value of your non sexual attention. You have to learn to use it. It has a value in the eyes of women. You are simply trading your nonsexual attention with sex from her. Women know how to use sex to get what they want. You must know how to use yours to get something from them.

For me. I hate this phase, because it really fcks with your mind. Typically, if you can pullout all of these and break her defenses, you will begin to resent her for making you go through all of these and feel like you deserve better.

These are all that go behind the scenes when you hear. I loved him, but he changed and treats me like sht.

harakiri:
Another reason why getting married is the dumbest decision a man can ever make. She says he "nags" but didn't say why. She has already made up her mind to divorce him and all she wants is reassurance that she's doing the "right thing" hence the reason why she informed the public that THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. This is a lady that must have promised eternal love and loyalty but now that she has "arrived", she's suddenly discovered she has "her life" to live and is looking for every excuse to break the marriage. I sincerely hope all the pathetic wimps on nairaland who intend bringing "wives" from Nigeria are reading this. When will men ever learn?

You re the only person seeing the truth
Do you live overseas as well?

Yemaica:
He will hate me forever.

He already hates you but just can't tell you as he is weighing the regrets he will feel

I can't believe you guys are making the guy responsible for the woman's B.S . Wtf! The poster above me makes me want to puke.

Well farous I will tell you one secret you do not understand.

You cannot negotiate desire.

No amount of speaking to her will change anything.

Your reaction to her b.s is even worse. Quit reacting emotionally to what she does. You cannot make her feel like you need something from her, else she will never change. The last thing you want to give a disrespectful woman is power or control over you.

Your actions should weigh 99%. While 1% to let her know your stance


The truth is.. She has gotten close to the highest-level of low interest for you. Close because, the next level is where she will disrespect you outrightly to your face without regard for the consequences. If she isn't already doing it.


You are not being romantic because you are feeling resentment. The resentment is normal because the dominant male in you is being questioned. Males and females are wired differently. Last thing you want to believe is your wife sleeping with another male, which in it's own is a form of submission to that man. Your ego is threatened and you do not want to simply give in to her just incase she is deceiving you and in turn, smearing your ego.

Man. I can't tell how bad it is, but if there is still some iota of feelings from her, you have to play dread.
You really have to black her out of your head and focus on your purpose. Let her see you making strides in your life while you are cold with her. Don't be nice, don't be cocky. Be normal, yet unpredictable. Women are wired weirdly, watch how she will be the one trying to fit herself in your life.

The catch here is that if you can simply pull all these I m telling you, deep down you will feel like a higher value male, you will realize your mistake and will want to discard her as no high value male tolerates disrespect.

Stop listening to what they say. Watch what they do.

I stopped at the part you said both of you had extramarital affairs...

Man... She will never be submissive to you since you went back. A man can sleep with multiple women and still love his wife. A woman submits to a man when she makes love to him. And if she wilfully did that to another man when you were still in the picture, know that she will never respect you. It's an open sign of a lack of loyalty to you.

At this point, I personally will leave.

carter009:
Nice one OP, no 4 is really working for me, don't give a Bleep what they think, I have never try to make any girl special, they don't worth it, I treat them my own way and if they don't like it, they are free to leave.

That's the way bro. You ve got to maintain your frame

Vv

RichardRexs:
Got back with my Ex,she told me that she did abortion (i knew the bastard) and the guy denied the pregnancy. i was moved when she told me the pains she went through. my perception didn't change but made me love her more

When you think you have seen it all

Whitestory:
If I may ask.. Can you educate me what really is this abundance mindset... Thanks

Abundance mindset. The opposite being a scarcity mindset which is born from a fear of failure.

Ever seen people who lost out in a business and quickly started another one, ever seen people who got ditched by a girl and got two replacements back. If you got your MBA and a few certifications, believe me, you will walk next day into your office with a certain confidence that if things step out of line, you can have a replacement lined out. It is funny how women always do this, but we dont see it. Women always have an option lined.

When you have an abundance mindset, you are basically saying you are a high value male and can attract a lot of options.
When you have a scarcity mindset, you are saying you don't have a lot of options, and you can't bee willing to walk away if the situation stops favoring you. This is ultimately unattractive and weak, and women see through it, even when they are the subjects in question.

Trust me, it is not enough to just say the good, in the real world, an abundance mindset comes with a lot of failure and learning. It is part of what builds you

joeeee240:
Please what do you mean by validation?

Telling her how beautiful she looks, that you love her, etc. She has to chase it, and even when she does, you feed her scraps. There is a whole lot on this topic. I may make a thread on it. Your validation is your non-sexual attention women feed off, like currency. Just like the complements and likes she gets from the guys in her DM's. Your validation needs to have value, so you make her chase it.

This is for men in long term monogamous relationships.

A woman MUST respect you more than she loves you, otherwise your relationship will crash.

Once the initial euphoria of a new relationship is over and the woman begins to play her sh1t tests to manipulate you, at a point most guys generally would have been complacent and comfortable the woman "loves him", he starts to fail her tests multiple times till it approches breaking point. At this point, the woman would have probably lost all the respect for him. You do everything right, yet she disrespects, avoidsand resent you.

At that very point, the only ultimate thing she needs, is for you to show you have some self respect and break up with her. This is where many guys get it wrong. All that communication, discussions, bitching shouting, and even being physical(very weak).. etc. Only pushes her away further, because you fail to show true strength. You don't discuss respect.

Doing all of that tells her that you dont have all that many options that you prefer to take all her shlt at the expense of your dignity and women hate and resent weakness in a man more than anything else. She sees through it and in many cases, she eventually does the breaking up.

A lot of you guys are in very similar relationships now and as counterproductive as it sounds, that is what you have to do.

You need to excude calm masculine energy.
To effectively perfect the breakup, stay calm, if you guys have been fighting, let her see you are cool and calm for a few days prior. However, the moment she does something out of line, tell her calmly to leave. She will try to cry manipulate and argue, but do not give in, be vague in your explanation, but clear in your decision (Do not give her any closure). All of that talking you were trying to achieve now begins to work in her head. Now guys, at this point, just focus fully on your purpose, get yourself going 100 on your grind. Meet other women as I will advise guys it is too risky to have just one girl. She will see through it and misbehave.

When she contacts you as she definitely will, do not accept her back with ease, never argue back the breakup, because she will try to. Your boss doesn't argue with you when he decides to fire you. Lay the cards. It's either she is submissive, or she leaves. Let her prove she deserves you. In all of this, your energy must be calm.


cc glycolysiss
ubunja

lilwetdick:
Lmao, i am sure it was a white girl that broke your heart, guess she cheated on you..anyway they easily cheat with the biggest and strongest BBC in town

why is that when Guys on Nairaland break up with their GF they remember Focus on your purpose. so when you were with the girl you couldnt Focus on your purpose., it basically shows you are not even a focus person with or without the girl.


there are four things men on NL become after breakup, Philosopher, women behavior analysers, MGTOW and "Alphamale"....choose one and make you life easy until you find another girl

Being alpha is not for breakups. Its a lifestyle. Not just with women in life, you need an abundance mindset

BLUEJAYY:
When you turn women's game against them, they feel so threatened. They're just lucky the overall natural blueprint of 'wooing', is to their advantage.

Dude.. You sure know the game. Women are constantly seeking validation. They can't explain it. You become alpha when you withhold that validation, and feed her scraps

Let me contribute some other points to this thread.

For women, they believe the epitome of their value is right between their legs. When a woman has sex with you, she is basically submitting to you. It is why you will notice that when you fight with your girl, especially where you acted all weak, nd she turns you around. Even if you guys "reconcile" She will just not want to have sex with you. It's her way of saying. You are not yet masculine enough in her eyes for her to submit. Buying gifts, flowers etc, being a puszy boy does nothing. It only gives her more of your nonsexual attention, thereby loosing your sexual value in her eyes.
She will then avoid being in romantic situations with you, but will be very interested in situations that please her. At that point, you are her walking goofball.

Mistake most guys make is that they look at this thing logically. They try to have "conversations" and "discussions" to understand the fight- Hell No. They try to rationalize and deduce and expect her to think the same and still feel romantically attracted. In fact, most times, she will flake on you, gaslight you, resent you the more leaving you confused.

You always need to show True Masculine Calm Strength.

ubunja:
so good. let me sit down and read


meanwhile, can you consider writing a Guest Miseducation?

AUSSIEPLAYBOY's MISEDUCATION? or whatever you will want to call it. We would be honored.

Definitely brother. It's a whole lot I now know about women. You get to that point you begin to see them from the clear lens, and not the one the media has made you believe and there is no going back. I will be posting with time as we need to re-educate men over.

ubunja:
it's called Social Proof. Women want men other women want. To be seen with other women makes a woman want you.

That is the highest level of attraction in dating. When other women want you- Raises the level of social status in her eyes

Brother from another mother. We keep teaching these males to raise their sexual market value. @ ubunja
https://www.nairaland.com/5231994/just-broke-up-aussieplayboy#79116401

A Classic Shlt test.

I tell guys, this is the Epidemy of every guy dating, where a woman drags him to that weak spot of reacting from jealousy or insecurity.

Only solution is to always have an option on the side. Take your mind off it because women are not moral and love attention.

No amount of talking can ever change it.

Beta Male list.

All I will say is... Be on your purpose guys. Have an abundance mindset. And all this list will be bull.sh1t

.

NACE13:
Maximum respect to you. That number 1,3 & 4 got me. The three mistakes I also made. After crying many times about how I don't care or give her attention, I became soft and she used it against me. She started quarrel almost at any point, became very rude, and would never apologise, and if she manages to, she'd just throw it in my face. At a point I started apologising for her fvckups because I wanted to be the 'bigger man' and it was pushing my Alpha status out
I had enough and I told her I was out. I learnt it the hard way

Thank you for this, at a point, I thought you wrote this for me in particular because it all happened

Man.. That's the female nature no one tells you about. Always best to learn it earlier than later. Good thing is you ll be better equipped when next you meet someone else. More grease to your elbows

5. No loyalty. I kid you not guys - women are not capable of truly loving a man. Women only love themselves. Honour, ethics and loyalty are only truly masculine traits. Women are simple manipulative by nature. At every point, she will always be thinking of how the relationship/partnership/marriage will benefit her, and not you. Women, chase validation and you never want to give it to them, cos at that point, she knows where she stands, and can then begin to throw you her little test,while you begin to simp down. Let her keep chasing your validation. Which is when you see a girl calling a guy she loved a scum, NOT because she loved him, cos she can't, but because he wouldn't give her his validation.

Trust me... You will always have a clearer frame of mind if you don't bring these women too close. Keep them like batteries, When they re all well used, get spares asap. Always have spares... You always want to keep a couple of these females in your rotation cos when she flakes and comes back, You know what time it is

4. Have an abundance mindset. You are the prize. Don't let any woman feel too special and even if they do. They MUST know you also got a lot of options. When they see that your whole social life revolves around them, they ll get bored. Women love chaos. Masculine chaos. Puts them in their toes. My mistake here was sucking up when she started messing up. Firstly- I never ask women out. I only create the vibe for sexx, and let them ask. But at some point with this girl, I began catching feelings due to certain reasons around our interaction, which was the undoing. I should have kept her in her constant state of seeking validation. Well, it was a mistake never to be made. Mates...This is why most times, the first 6 months of the relationship are often great... Till she pulls back. Till she starts flaking. That's the point, the relationship begins to take a whole lotta dynamics. Most guys at this point will go panic mode, wondering what went wrong. She 'll be texting other guys in your presence, testing you to see if you will be man enough to call her b.s or if you will act insecure. Eventually, they will manipulate you till you beg even when she is wrong.

3. Walk away. Know when to draw a line. A woman will test you so much and to an extent, if you got so weak, she may begin to disrespect you. At that point know when to bare it all and walk away. The highest position of strength in any negotiation is in the ability to walk away. When you walk away and never call or come back, you reinforce your masculinity. And when she calls, she definitely got to submit. The highest test occurs during a breakup. At this point, it's not about how big your voice is, how masculine you look, how long your beards are. If you show true strength and walk away, she will eventually call back. Women despise weakness. It is in their DNA. Forget what the media tells you, forget what she even tells you- watch what she does. Women cannot handle power most times. She will run you down to the ground eventually. If you show weakness, she will resent you way worse than even your enemy would, without any feeling of remorse. She will go to the next provider and ultimately restart the innocent card. This is why a guy will beg and plead for a woman to come back, but if he doesn't have something to offer, or if the respect is totally gone, there is nothing he can do.

2. Keep frame. Always keep frame. She will always try to sh1t test you, but your ability to keep a masculine frame is what keeps her on her toes. The moment you realise she is getting more in her masculine frame, know that you 've been fvcking up and softening in your feminine state. The more masculine you are, the more feminine shes got to be. In a relationship, someone must chase. It's either you doing the chasing, or she's doing the chasing. Women are not logical so never expect it to be 50/50. Never argue back and forth with them. Never get into a debate with them. For two reasons. 1st- it will never be logical. Never, you will always feel stupid after it. 2nd-You will loose some respect from her after it. If you ever knew your company wouldn't fire an employee who stepped out of line, you will keep extending your boundaries. But when you know one mess up, and your ass is on the line, you will always sit up

I just broke up with my "Ex"


Yes, and this was a very interesting period I will never forget as there were very many deep lessons I learnt from interacting with women which I have to share with the brothers. Some of it I have already posted but will still share, and others as time goes on.

1. Focus on your purpose. Never bend to a woman's reality. Women will always cry and bitch about how much they want time, but the moment you become too available, you begin to slacken on your purpose, you become too soft. Their bitching and chase should always be music to your ears. Always know when to pull and come back with sweet nothings to her ears. I started with my purpose which she "fell" in love with it, but at some point, I began deviating from it, failing her manipulative tests and found myself drawn continuously to her life. I had her "soul" for about a year, but the moment I showed weakness, at some point, she started losing respect for me. I remember finding out one day she lied and I found out. By that time, I 've been drawn so deep into the web, I couldn't come out. I tried to find out the truth, yet she called me names, cut the call as I spoke etc. It was miserable. Yet, I was still simping down. The beta in me was taking over the alpha I should have been. Whenever we came back from a fight, she will speak so rudely to me. But you know when she is rude, you can't get the female to bend over. She's got to be feminine. She began imposing rules, being bossier. Well, I only wanted some cake which, even though I got, in the long run- wasn't worth it.

As a playboy, I ll say.

1. Focus on your purpose. Never bend to a woman. Women will always cry and bitch about how much they want time, but the moment you become too available, you begin to slacken on your purpose, you become too soft. Their bitching and chase should always be music to your ears. Always know when to pull and come back with sweet nothings to her ears.



2. Keep frame. Always keep frame. She will always try to sh1t test you, but your ability to keep frame is what keeps her on her toes. The moment you realise she is getting more in her masculine frame, know that you ve been fcking up and softening in your feminine state. The more masculine you are, the more feminine shes got to be. In a relationship, someone must chase. It's either you doing the chasing, or she's doing the chasing. Women are not logical so never expect it to be 50/50.

3. Walk away. Know when to draw a line. A woman will test you so much and to an extent, if you got so weak, she may begin to disrespect you. At that point know when to bare it all and walk away. The highest position of strength is in the ability to walk away. When you walk away and never call or come back, you reinforce your masculinity. And when she calls, she definitely got to submit. The highest test occurs during a breakup. At this point, it's not about how big your voice is, how masculine you look, how long your beards are. If you show true strength and walk away, she will eventually call back.

4. Have an abundance mindset. Keep on your purpose, don't let any woman feel too special and even if they do. They MUST know you also got a lot of options. When they see that your whole social life revolves around them, they ll get bored. Women love chaos. Masculine chaos. Puts them in their toes

We only fcking these bitches to sleep

As a playboy, I ll say.

1. Focus on your purpose. Never bend to a woman. Women will always cry and bitch about how much they want time, but the moment you become too available, you begin to slacken on your purpose, you become too soft. Their bitching and chase should always be music to your ears. Always know when to pull and come back with sweet nothings to her ears.



2. Keep frame. Always keep frame. She will always try to sh1t test you, but your ability to keep frame is what keeps her on her toes. The moment you realise she is getting more in her masculine frame, know that you ve been fcking up and softening in your feminine state. The more masculine you are, the more feminine shes got to be. In a relationship, someone must chase. It's either you doing the chasing, or she's doing the chasing. Women are not logical so never expect it to be 50/50.

3. Walk away. Know when to draw a line. A woman will test you so much and to an extent, if you got so weak, she may begin to disrespect you. At that point know when to bare it all and walk away. The highest position of strength is in the ability to walk away. When you walk away and never call or come back, you reinforce your masculinity. And when she calls, she definitely got to submit. The highest test occurs during a breakup. At this point, it's not about how big your voice is, how masculine you look, how long your beards are. If you show true strength and walk away, she will eventually call back.

4. Have an abundance mindset. Keep on your purpose, don't let any woman feel too special and even if they do. They MUST know you also got a lot of options. When they see that your whole social life revolves around them, they ll get bored. Women love chaos. Masculine chaos. Puts them in their toes

Best way to handle a heartbreak is to be the heartbreaker

PUSSYHOE:
the fastest way to deal with break up is to fvck the hoe's sister

Or her best friend