₦airaland Forum

Joy1706:
So many men are still doing registry marriage my dear. Don't deceive yourself

those r just professing Christians doing it for fear of God with prenuptial agreements in place. these days even Christian men r quiting.

Joy1706:
U guys feel it's every woman u can send parking. Better look at faces. You mean I will marry u legally and u can send me parking at anytime? Hehehehehehe

men do not marry women legally again. the smart ones!

Chidoks:
I disagree with you on the issue of girls marrying before going to school.
At what age?
To be a liability on their husband?
Too many issues are at stake.

it was the norm in yesteryears for girls to get married 18+. She should be going off to university with a stable relationship with marriage pledges to each other. most ppl dont know what they want men and women and end up sleeping around.

Marriage is a calculated risk. Men face risk of divorce, marrying the wrong woman (nagging, has issues, etc, child support and alimony payments for life, temptations to cheating with nicer things outside the marriage, losing half their assets,etc

@Chidoks
same here i would have joined as well.

CoolUsername:
He was talking about economy, genius.

Now piss off.

i was talking about both now GET OUT. ur too local for me to use the british piss off on u.

village headmaster/ head mistress.

All the women reading this? Are you the one to marry your husbands? Do you have that power?

CoolUsername:
You're not an intellectual. You're just in denial. You're too afraid of change to entertain an opposing idea. You did not intelligently criticize feminism, all you did was bring up a few examples of misandrist groups.

You're too simple-minded to understand that there are men out there who aren't threatened by women in way. Why are you so paranoid about losing authority?

What you described as a 'healthy family' is a monument to your social ineptitude. If you think you made a flawless argument with your OP (as you always reference) then you truly have a pre-pubescent mind.

Your posts are vapid, your points are empty, you fear losing your dominance, you can't respond to a different opinion like a decent human being. In other words, you're just another bigot. I've already wasted too much time condescending to your kind.

You talk like the senseless feminist you appear to be.

The OP is only advocating that marriage have a power structure. Democracy does not exist my dear; did nigerians vote on bvn? it was imposed. You cannot take decisions together in authority, inputs can only be entertained. i can discuss with my boss but he ultimately says what needs to be done.

It is a man that marries a woman not the other way round. the man can send you packing anytime.

most wmen forget this!

CoolUsername:
Well that's your opinion. The major bone of contention here is choice. Women should be allowed to choose to wear head-to-toe covering or not if they choose to.

Women still suffer sexual assault in areas where they're forced to cover themselves ,and in those regions, reporting rape cases may even be dangerous. Honour killings may be practised to rid their families of the 'shame'. Ironically, western countries such as Sweden, have seen an increase in rape cases
in correlation to the influx of refugees from North Africa and the Middle East.

You should realize that men are capable of exhibiting self-control. Switzerland has one of the lowest crime-rates in the world, sexual assault included, ironically, public nudity is completely legal over there.

I don't know what you mean about the western society being in decline. Their economy seems stable and their populations seem comfortable.

There is no contention at all its outright rebellion. So because you are allowed to wear whatever you want you put on tattoos of satanic origins and nose rings of satanic origins? And put on mini skirts that makes all and sundry want to sleep with you? Its foolishness. Feminism should teach women to be appropriately dressed the same way it enjoins men not to hit women.

The power is temporal though. Anything upward of 26 years of age even wear the tightest skirt most men wont even blink.

A word is enough for the wise.

Western society is in decline economically. Economic power has shifted to the East (Asia), middle east and africa.

HannibalXVI:
Please do in depth research on what exactly feminism is and don't attack a movement based on the actions of extremists. We do not discard religion because of fanatics, neither do we discard science because of greedy corporations that seek to exploit humanity and engage in unethical practices, nor do we discard banking because of those who rip off nations and their people with high interest and lending rates and the like. If we did, Islam and Christianity would be gone because of Al-Qaeda, ISIS, and the massacres instigated by the church in centuries past. If we did, science would be gone due to crimes such as those committed during the World Wars and due to such things as mutation in humans as a result of nuclear fallout. There will always be those who take a thing and turn it on its head for their own selfish purposes, but as the Englishman would say, do not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Real feminism seeks to end cultures and practices which are detrimental to women. These include
-Unequal voting rights (eg in Saudi Arabia where women just voted for the first time)
-Ending honor killing : In certain countries, mostly in the middle east, a woman may be killed by a member of her family if she is deemed to have brought shame on the family by whatever means, and the killer may go scot-free.
-Female genital mutilation
-Unequal pay: Equality of pay does not mean if Nneka is absent for 4 working days due to her period she still deserves to be paid same wages with Kunle who was present all through the month. Equality of pay means if Nneka and Kunle are present for equal working hours, doing the same job, then they should be paid accordingly. This is not just a men vs women issue as abroad it has been noted that minorities(blacks, Hispanics etc) are less paid than whites, with the white man being at the higher end of the range.
-Rape culture, which tends to demonize the victim instead of advocating justice. This also goes both ways as in societies where it is hard to get justice for victims, even men and boys who have been raped or molested suffer in silence.
-It also seeks to end the practice of sending boys to school while the girls are left without education.
The list goes on but I will leave you to research on your own. A real feminist will not see a problem with a woman driving a trailer or working in a mine as long as she is capable (physically and otherwise) AND WILL NOT EXPECT ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT ON THE BASIS OF GENDER.

The movement is not about being equal to men IN MARRIAGE and disrespecting one's husband. I capitalized "IN MARRIAGE" as it is their husbands women are biblically to submit to, not just any man; people in general are to respect/submit to authority, as children (male or female) should submit to their parents. It just means a woman is not a second class person and should not be treated as such. In marriage there are roles and instructions for husband and wife, a popular biblical one being "Wives submit to your husbands…Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church". Failures of marriages today are not the fault of true feminism but due to the warping of the sacred institution by both man and wife. One cannot engage in things which the Bible/Holy book (eg. Quran, I'll use the Bible as I'm a Christian) condemns (fornication, irresponsibility, lying, etc.) & expect to experience success in any area of life, not just marriage.

As for those who are talking about things such as men sitting down to urinate we need not be bothered by the rantings of mad people; as Sir Winston Churchill said "One will not get to the destination if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks".

I read your post. I did not see anything to disagree with. it is a masterpiece. Perhaps we can categorize feminism into two: godly feminism and ungodly feminism

i learnt from ur post.

one thing to add though. girls should be married before going to university as 90% become unmarriable feminized sluts if not so. secondly the time at University the girl also ages a bit - a youthful time that should belong to the husband. marriage today is laden with risks. what are the benefits of marrying today? thanks

postmann:
Don't try to walk in my shadows.
I'm the sun here. You're the moon.
Respect my intellectual superiority.

I told you much earlier you type faster than your brain could assimilate. Don't try to recycle that to me, Nancy boy.
And I told you each comment leaves trails of your intellectual bankruptcy.

I was wise enough to give feminism its laudable dues before bashing it for all its evil, because I was expectant of male-poshovers like you. I gave you very little room to operate. But you so needed to impress Janet badly, and you came like an unprepared boxer.
My jabs at your chin left you ugly and Janet now knows you've been bruised by an ALPHA MALE.

In the old days when men and women farm, the women farm less hard than their male counterpart and most times they farm near home for the young children's sake. While the men can farm very far away, long into the village boarders

While raising a child is the responsibility of both genders, the mothers role in the infancy, toddler and developing years are without question. The 3 month leave for maternity leave is not enough. Babies need their mothers' undivided attention during and after that stage.

While daddy goes to work, she must be available to bring the children back from school, ask them pertinent questions, bathe them and put them to sleep.
She must not entrust her child to a maid or daycare except in some very difficult and abnormal situation.

She gives her husband a run down of what transpired in school between Junior and Peter. And necessary correctional measures are taken immediately before Junior grows with it.

Mainwhile, she should be looking fresh and lovely for her husband as he comes back from work.
Her beauty and homeliness will give him a resting place from the hard day's work.
Not a tired, rumpled faced carrier woman who isn't even home to kiss her husband welcome and loosen his tie.

Oh, she can work at this stage. But it is important that she control her work/time and not her work controlling her. Junior needs her undivided attention at his very young age and so does his daddy. She is a nurturer.

Father passes his instruction to mother, and mother says to junior, "Daddy said you must not do this".

Junior doesn't get confused where the authority is coming from and he is better shaped to respect authority in the society when he is out as a grown man.

When Junior is grown, mother is freer, with permission from her husband to pursue her dream.

Nancy boy, this is complete, though highly summarised version of a healthy family structure. And society gets safer for it.

I hate it when I see men fall from grace and become doormat to new ideas. Their place will be taken.

i had to like this sir. and i could even add that the woman who wants a past time from caring for kids could be an investor on nigerian stock exchange part time, part time writer for This Day or even a pianist at church. if her investment of 2million on NSE is brining in quarterly returns she is working without working!

CoolUsername:
We live in a world where women are forced to cover themselves from to toe in some regions, just to avoid harassment on the streets. We live in a world where sexual assault on women is justified by some people because men can't control themselves. In general, feminism is still a very necessary movement in the world. Especially, in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East.

Women covering themselves from toe is a good thing. The unclothedness of each woman is for her husband and for her husband only says the Word of the Living God! The unclothedness of a woman is a weak point in men and a point of power for women. When a woman is walking down the street semi naked, she is abusing her God given power to attract a husband. that unclothedness is for her husband. Western society is in decline in part because they started allowing women to wear and do whatever they want without men guiding them. And also because men stopped taking the lead for fear of charges.

Favolly:
You people that will be quoting bible upandan are the very same ones that will go about shaming single hardworking women for not being married in the name of 'That's-a-woman's-main-purpose-on-earth'.

That is the definition of religion!

women in the olden days went straight from fathers house to husbands house. they r single and unmarried either by voluntary personal election which is respected or because there werent strong parent figures to direct her to get married. leave women unguided and they keep dating sexy bad boys till they grow old.

Some women choose not to be mothers, some choose to be harlots, etc. each to their own.

Chidoks:
You make much sense
Each time I recall a major carer sacrifice I made after marriage I shed secret tears but this beautiful post is a pat on my back. You made me count my blessings. Thanks.
It's really challenging to combine motherhood and certain carers

the Bible says that the glory of an a young man is his strength and the glory of an old man is his grey hairs. if you are young don't try to be old if you are old dont try to be young. each has their glories.

I believe the glory of a woman is motherhood first beforehand career but this is just my belief.

Vyolet:
Women need to make huge money too in order to live a good life and less dependent, men made it so these days. Gone are the days of, "stay at home, I'd provide everything", it is now, "take care of 50% of bills and I'd take care of 50%", yet she's still expected to fulfill her primary role as a woman.
The reason I ask what do men really want?

What men want is simple: good sex life, good cooking, youth i.e. get married early, support and most importantly subject urself to his authority even if u make more money than him just the same way i subject myself to a younger inexperienced boss that i am older and more qualified than.

Vyolet:
A woman can be anything she wants to be and at the same time be a mother.

This is the lie women are being told today.

A woman can be anything she wants to be including President. I agree and encourage that.

A woman however has to choose a career that is Motherhood friendly and can not be anything she wants to be if she wants to be a mum.

women are being misled and are showing a lack of capacity for original thinking.

Motherhood is a career, a rewarding and profitable one at that.

You do not have to have a full time job in a bank for you to have a career. If you are a clerk, english teacher, member of a Board of Directors, Leader in an Advocacy Group, you have a career! Even if you are an investor or blogger you have a career!

Who told you that you have to perpetually have a 9-5 job to have a career.

there are many strategies. one is work but when start giving birth stop working. the rest women oya make una think am una get brain.

i have a working class female friend. when she gives birth she does not want to take about 3 years off work to care for the child. She said why should she be the one to take the time off and not the father i.e. feminist mentality. I then asked her where are the breasts the man will use to breast feed the baby - she didnt say anything again.

Vyolet:
This part got me thinking actually, a woman is biologically designed for childbirth and monthly periods, none is her fault so why should men get angry again whenever women take maternity leaves?
Equal pay should be given ofcourse since they are placed on the same level at workplaces.

If a woman is biologically designed for childbirth and monthly periods of which none is her fault then she should be the mother she is ordaindd to be not a corporate CEO. Its common sense!

All the work she does should be intense and interesting enough not to interfere with this primary purpose.

postmann:
"They will say it is wrong to be married and eat certain foods." (1 Tim 4:3a)

But if marriage becomes a thing of the past, they will suffer more.

But fear not, good women will always last for all eternity, even in the the Western world where they are having serious family system breakdown already as a result of feminism.

Talking about wise - fools.

What the feminists fail to realize is that law and order is based on authority not equality. I am to be subject to the authority of a police officer. Adam was subject to God. The planets in this solar system are subject to the sun - they revolve around it and rely on it for sunlight, we are to yield to commuter vehicles i.e. buses, they have right of way.

Now imagine what would have happened if a police officer is enforcing the law and im talking back because im equal, etc. just utter chaos!

One more thing. If feminism succeeds, MARRIAGE WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST, for law and order is not based on equality but on authority. marriage is already a thing of the past in UK, Canada and USA. I hope to marry a good woman from Nigeria before Nigeria gets feminized as well.

Feminism and female empowerment is even part of United Nations development goals.

i was talking to a girl recently and she told me to forget the patriarchy! I was like this shit is serious sha.

postmann:
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruits looked delicious and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. Gen 3:6a


Don't be fooled, feminism goes far beyond equal rights for women. It is mainly a matter of greed, rebellion, misandry, male overthrow, and I dare say, satanism. It is the single greatest threat to a decent, stable society. And it is the biggest reason for societal chaos and disorder today. Like its near cousin homosexuality, they are fruits of the same evil tree - Rebellion.

Feminism comes in various shades - The Liberal; being the most mild and subtle but equally godless and greedy in its goals. A mishmash of laudability and usurpation, she is against domestic violence, social injustice, sexual harassment and equal access to education for women. These are laudable goals and every sane man would gladly support. But that's where the pretence stops. She goes out of her way to fight privately owned firms and try to force them to comply to equal pay for men and women. And she lobbys the government to make it a law.

But you don't tell a private or non-governmental firm what to do with its pay structure. If they feel performance is relational to gender, then so be it. It's their call to make. Afterall, men don't take the "monthly stomach cramp" excuses for off duties, neither do they take maternity related leave. But this is just a start, it actually gets worse!

The Anarcha-Feminism: imagine a group of feminist movement in one of the Scandinavian countries lobbying for an outright ban of men standing erect to urinate in a public toilet, because they feel that men soil the place when they stand erect to urinate. They proposed that men using the public toilet should squat like women when urinating. Hmmm! Bunch of she-devils!
The anarcha-feminist is against every form of patriarchal system. She's as intellectual as she's godless. She holds unto her maiden name and rejects her husband's name. She believes in the soundness of her little falacies but never coming to the understanding that she's spiritually hollow! She's her own worst enemy.

The Social Feminist wants to eat her cake and have it. A greedy leech who wants all the benefits of a male worker who never applied for maternity leave. She doesn't believe a woman should sacrifice her ambition in order to raise her young children properly. She sees childbirth as a disadvantage to her ambition. Very unfeminine and greedy, she has little or no love for children, as she sees them as a hindrance to her greed.

A Radical Feminist is an active witch (rebellion is as bad as witchcraft, sam 15:23). She hates the present capitalist system because it's male dominant. The only alternative she recognises is the complete overhaul of the present male dominated system. A greedy and insatiable lot.
She doesn't know her place. She has lost her original compass to greed and rebellion. She is largely responsible for most of the societal chaos. She spends most of her days resentinel being a female. Self-loath is her middle name. She is incapable of love.

A Cultural feminist believes that there is no real difference between a man and a woman. That the differences as they exist are simply psychological and culturally constituted rather than biologically programed.

She's mentally and spiritually compromised hence she's one confused woman. They are largely responsible for the female fall from grace as they promote indecency in dressing and mannerism in women.

Lastly, The Lesbian feminist. Well, you know her. They are shameless and psychological and spiritually compromised. She hates heterosexual relationship and can really be aggressive against the patriarchal order.

They look at the BOOK of books and they scoffed at it. But the fountain of wisdom thereof is far beyond the knowledge of their little hen-rebellion. Gen 3:16b puts it clearer.

The humble woman shall eat and be satisfied and rest in the bossom of her MAKER. If she fails to be appreciated by a foolish husband, her children's praise and gratitude will never escape her.

But for the rebellious, their fall shall be double; both here and there-to-come.

I have searched and searched, wide and far, but I've never seen a feminist who's truly happy, going to her grave fulfilled.

(Postmann.)

Feminism has succeeded in damaging:

1. Workplaces - most men are afraid of harassment, sexual harassment, gossip etc. so tend to be extremely careful or avoid female co workers all together.

2. Marriage - you are talking and ur wife talks right back at you!!!! What can you do? Utter another word and she divorces you (no fault divorce), takes half your property, enforces you to pay alimony and child support, and gets the full support of the state! Secondly, most young women dont get married again; its not even in their dictionary - this means men will continue to cheat with the younger more attractive girls until feminists make it a crime to sleep with anyone under 24. They have extended adolescence to 25 years of age in UK so they are making progress!

3. Society - lets see how it works out.

amicable09:
menxer, you made a good point but not all ladies had this problem of subconscious programming.

I believe some men have to work on themselves first before proposing marriage to any lady. Their poor hygiene can be a turn off! I don't understand why young men won't get necessary grooming products and look good before approaching a lady.

With or without any programming, she most definitely will say no. No lady fantasize about marrying a man who isn't clean.

your comment shows your superficiality and why you are still probably single. If he is poorly groomed, groom him that is why you are the wife.

amicable09:
I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

You need to realize that the world is operating upside down now.

EVERY GIRL has a window of marriage opportunity; a time where she has many suitors...

Modern feminism has taught women to ignore this window or use it for boyfriends....

So she is not supposed to marry herself but rather is a victim of modern feminist culture.

tripplephi:
Well getting a girlfriend is not the way because it's still leading you to premarital sex.... I feel trying get to stop an habit like this is exactly why makes it grow.... So to add to your list. Just replace the habit

u can be married to ur gf now. just get a pastor to officiate a wedding in ur home. all this wedding of wait until ur made, no sex b4 marriage is just men torturing themselves.

u can get married right now without big weddings then get fu**in laid!

abimic:
The op didn't put up her pic, can't tell where she belongs, but I remember stumbling upon a quote that, when a woman is beautiful without brain, private part suffers the most,Guess it's true anyway. I still prefer character, Brain, beauty in that order.

every woman is beautiful. for me its character brain and youth.

all girls wen young r fine. the youthful exuberance.... and all.

a wife or gf and avoidance of loneliness and getting some company is the solution.

it is not because of sex per say. its because of youthful sex... its the appeal of youth.... its a power young girls have been given up to a certain age maybe 23... besides the old man is giving away the power willingly but I am sure he has his limits.

YourMain:
Agreed!

But in the later years, women all start chasing the "good guys" so patience is key!

the good guys wont want them then though because they're will be less desirable. foolishness if you ask me.

LordReed:
Lemme try to be clear to you too. I am not here to defend marriage. What I am about here is do not give a dog a bad name so you can hang it. You think marriage is net neutral or net negative, that is great, hold on to that thought but that marriage will hinder you from success is at best a subjective experience (but I personally think it's a stupid argument) with many other contraindications. So go ahead and don't get married, it's all up to you.

well said LordReed. You are indeed a Lord his royal highness :-)

Anyway to stay within judeo christian bounds, i need marriage to have a good f**k. but i think il have to settle for gf and be married to her in my mind.

I am for marriage if it makes good business and spiritual sense - no single mother, good women, God fearing, supportive, not feminist, young and humble etc. If the opposite then its a bad investment.

LordReed:
Not a very good example. I know of no country where you legally get a job and will refuse your spouse entry. Heck even terrorists have used it as a means to get across borders.

Listen let's be honest there is no human relationship system that isn't froth with advantages and disadvantages. I get it, marriage to you is one big disadvantage. No problem, don't marry. But here is the rub no need to cook up the disadvantages that are frankly very subjective. Google "singles are more prone to suicide" so you know that what you are advocating isn't without its risks. But all of that is just words because each person must decide how their life will be lived. You want to be single, go ahead it's your life. Don't allow another person's experience be the sole determinant for what you are going to be and do.

LordReed i skimmed through the conversation so pardon my omissions. The truth he is trying to convey is that the net benefits of modern marriage is either netral or negative for majority cases. When you get married you marry nagging, the lieing/unpredictable/illogical nature of women (i except mothers and pastors from this generalization), the risk of incuring a divorce as a result of this, most women today prioritize career over motherhood....this leads to men marrying older women but then cheating with mistresses.

the above pointed out phenomena are a trend in modern day. so highlight the logical benefits of marriage aside having children?

This is so so duumb,for Pete's sake they haven't explored the railway or waterways transportation system for the populace to enjoy,now they wanna host something as big as this and they feel they can just shut down motorable routes and expect people to be go about their normal business without stress

what happens is most of these guys go abroad, enjoy the marathons and half marathons come back to nigeria, realize it doesnt exist then create it.

it is done with a self serving interest dont be suprised if it costs lots of money to participate to keep those without money out.