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​​How to be a leader in any conversation?

To learn how to talk well, just follow a few rules that will help you set the tempo, mood and tone of the conversation, which will help you manage it, and thus be a leader.

▫️ Don't overdo it.
If you want to speak like a leader, use the superlative degree only when it's relevant and rare, so that the word really has power.

▫️ Don't seek approval
Just stop looking for the listener's approval in a conversation. Instead, say everything in an affirmative way, as if you really know what you're talking about, not just guessing.

▫️ Don't take an uncertain position
It's best to focus on the achievements, the pluses, and use the negatives in such a way that they are perceived as small obstacles to improvement. If you formulate problems in this way, then the person is more likely to become loyal to you.

▫️ Don't use professional jargon
A leader shouldn't make someone feel left out or incompetent. So keep it simple, don't make it complicated.

▫️ Learn to listen
The leader sets the agenda, he or she voices the issues and leads the topic, and the rest of us just react. If you switched places with the crowd, someone else became the leader, but definitely not you.

Stop begging for attention.

I happen to mention this topic often in passing, but for some reason I have never written specifically about it. It is impossible for a man to be in a position of need, and paradoxically, this is the most acute and widespread problem. Female society fosters feminine behavior in men, and then everyone suffers from men giving more than they receive. Let's break it down.

When a man begs for his woman's attention, he looks like a kitten petting his mistress. He thinks it's the mistress petting him, but in fact he's petting himself. And when I say begging, I don't mean literally. Gifts after you've felt the coldness on her part, figuring things out at your initiative, asking to see you, various surprises-all this in overdrive looks not like a demonstration of love, but like a begging position.

Often with men this is apparent at the beginning of communication. You're all caring about everyone who pays attention to you. You try to be needed and helpful and, most surprisingly, you enjoy it. But think about it for a second. What does your usefulness to a woman give you that is useless to you?

Imagine you're the boss of a large firm. You take a passing worker and make him your right hand, teach him everything you know, pass on your experience, spend your time, your money, put a lot of effort into that worker, and then he opens his own firm and works on his own without your involvement. It's not fair, is it?

When it's just you who initiates the communication, it's humiliating. You can never realize your ambitions, because you're voluntarily suppressing your nature. You become a pet kitten. It's okay to demand an investment from a girl. It's not necessarily money. As we remember, resources are time, energy, and finances. If she, for some reason, is not yet able to invest financially, then let her invest her time and energy.

So this second position needs to be worked through at the beginning of communication and not moved into this position during the relationship. When you start off normally, dominate, control the situation, and then you fall in love and that's it. Hello again.

Build a relationship out of self-interest. It's not selfish or cynical. Relationships are about limitations. And you have to understand what you're limiting yourself for and whether it's worth it. Women are the same person, there are thousands of them around. With a strong desire, by the evening you can find a new one. It's not a deity you have to pray for, and once you start following this rule, you'll see that women start to stick to you. Because that's the way nature works. They are more comfortable in a second role going after their leader.

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AyoII:
​​Female manipulation. Part 2.

Hi. Let's continue with the section on feminine manipulation.

▫️ Making you guilty.

The guilty submits to the right. Even if the guilty one is not really to blame. Women have this technique at a subconscious level. Blaming a man is a test of strength of character. A weak man will agree and apologize. If he apologizes, he loses. She raised her profile and got the upper hand. You, under the guilt, agree to forgive her, give her gifts trying to pay her off and turning a blind eye to her lack of respect in your direction.

What to do?

A healthy minded, loving girl will not accuse you of anything. If a girl is offended and you are guilty, she will talk to you, tell you normally what happened and for peace it will be enough just to talk about the misunderstanding. You don't have to shower her with gifts. Everything is solved in one conversation. A girl who accuses you of something wants to bend you over. Remember this every time she demands an apology. Provide it as a game. Don't apologize and don't believe in her acting. If you apologize, you lose.

▫️ Cry if She lost.

You argued, you argued your position and she realized she was wrong. What does the girl start to do? Cry. The man mistakenly compares these emotions to his own and thinks he has hurt her badly and admits he is wrong. For a man, crying is embarrassing and serious. For a woman, it's normal. So remember, tears are not to be believed. If you fall for this manipulation, the boy will be manipulated all the time.

What to do?

Ignore her tears, let her cry. There are two possibilities: one - she is adequate, and will soon understand everything and ask for forgiveness. The second - she's hysterical, only thinking about her own interests and you do not put anything and will nag you with her tears until you break. Maybe she'll even leave. If that's your option, let her go. If you don't break, she'll nag you. If you break, she'll stop respecting you. Both cases are a great strain on your nervous system, which, unlike girls, is the only one in your life.
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​​Female manipulation. Part 3.

I will continue to tell you about feminine manipulation.
▫️ Provokes jealousy.

A girl purposely filters with other guys to see your jealousy and make sure you feel. This provocation is the most humiliating of all that exists for a man. It's totally unfit for a relationship girl. She gives other guys excuses. From this comes the compliments, the attempts to meet, the correspondence and everything else. A girl who is faithful to her boyfriend will not give ambiguous answers. Only a stern and convincing "no!" If you fall for this kind of manipulation, you raise the importance of the girl. The higher her importance, the lower her love. Soon this is fraught with either cheating or leaving.

What to do?

Break off communication after the first attempt at manipulation. Her fear of loss will increase exponentially, and if she really loves you, she will not allow herself such behavior in the future.

▫️ Threatens to break up the relationship.

If the girl is not happy with something, and you do not want to admit her victory, she goes for broke and says that we have to break up. If some argument has caused her to have similar thoughts, you shouldn't be with the girl, no matter how strong your feelings are. Threatening to leave is a direct statement of no fear of loss.

The girl absolutely does not care what you think. If your relationship ends, it won't hurt the girl in any way. So do not allow the chance that you have something to do with her. The difference between this manipulation and the previous one is that in the case of flirting, the girl can stop giving reasons to be jealous if she has feelings. In the case of threatening to leave, the girl makes it very clear that she has no feelings and no fear of loss. And that just means that the longer you put up with it, the more painful the breakup will be.

[b]Remember, man. There are plenty of women around. [/b]If you learn to live in harmony with yourself, you'll never be alone. Don't tolerate relationships if they poison your life. In a relationship, you either get better and happier or worse and unhappier. We, under the influence of our emotions, often get lost in life. Don't let that happen. It's not worth it.

AyoII:
​​Female manipulation. Part 1.

As it happens, and it would be hard for you to argue with me, but in our society our traditional upbringing teaches men to pursue women, to run after them. A story about knights and princesses, where only the part about knights remains relevant. Girls, from childhood, understand that boys can be manipulated and get all the benefits of this world. Hence the problems of adulthood.

She makes herself unavailable.

The first one does not write, you have to achieve. Often these girls are empty inside, but their inaccessibility, like a challenge, increases her importance and the guy does not realize that he reaches for the empty. In this variant of manipulation, the expense on the part of the guy increases, and this, increases the importance of the girl. The guy wants to prove that he is worthy of her and begins to shower her with gifts. The girl, miss inaccessibility, does not give any definite answers and therefore allows herself to communicate with other guys and accept their advances. A circle around her turns out. Everyone who agrees to take part in it, knowingly agrees to a weak position, that is, admits to being weak-willed and low-grade.

How do you protect yourself from this manipulation?

Run away. Such girls are fine with everything. There are plenty of guys in their lives who woo them, pay for them. If you respect your time, run. Girls who play hard to get, even if you get them, won't bring anything new into your life. They won't support you, they won't give you as much love as you can get from someone who was raised right. You can't reeducate her. She will change on her own, but it takes time. You're not ready to waste it.

End of part one.

​​Female manipulation. Part 2.

Hi. Let's continue with the section on feminine manipulation.

▫️ Making you guilty.

The guilty submits to the right. Even if the guilty one is not really to blame. Women have this technique at a subconscious level. Blaming a man is a test of strength of character. A weak man will agree and apologize. If he apologizes, he loses. She raised her profile and got the upper hand. You, under the guilt, agree to forgive her, give her gifts trying to pay her off and turning a blind eye to her lack of respect in your direction.

What to do?

A healthy minded, loving girl will not accuse you of anything. If a girl is offended and you are guilty, she will talk to you, tell you normally what happened and for peace it will be enough just to talk about the misunderstanding. You don't have to shower her with gifts. Everything is solved in one conversation. A girl who accuses you of something wants to bend you over. Remember this every time she demands an apology. Provide it as a game. Don't apologize and don't believe in her acting. If you apologize, you lose.

▫️ Cry if She lost.

You argued, you argued your position and she realized she was wrong. What does the girl start to do? Cry. The man mistakenly compares these emotions to his own and thinks he has hurt her badly and admits he is wrong. For a man, crying is embarrassing and serious. For a woman, it's normal. So remember, tears are not to be believed. If you fall for this manipulation, the boy will be manipulated all the time.

What to do?

Ignore her tears, let her cry. There are two possibilities: one - she is adequate, and will soon understand everything and ask for forgiveness. The second - she's hysterical, only thinking about her own interests and you do not put anything and will nag you with her tears until you break. Maybe she'll even leave. If that's your option, let her go. If you don't break, she'll nag you. If you break, she'll stop respecting you. Both cases are a great strain on your nervous system, which, unlike girls, is the only one in your life.
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​​Female manipulation. Part 1.

As it happens, and it would be hard for you to argue with me, but in our society our traditional upbringing teaches men to pursue women, to run after them. A story about knights and princesses, where only the part about knights remains relevant. Girls, from childhood, understand that boys can be manipulated and get all the benefits of this world. Hence the problems of adulthood.

She makes herself unavailable.

The first one does not write, you have to achieve. Often these girls are empty inside, but their inaccessibility, like a challenge, increases her importance and the guy does not realize that he reaches for the empty. In this variant of manipulation, the expense on the part of the guy increases, and this, increases the importance of the girl. The guy wants to prove that he is worthy of her and begins to shower her with gifts. The girl, miss inaccessibility, does not give any definite answers and therefore allows herself to communicate with other guys and accept their advances. A circle around her turns out. Everyone who agrees to take part in it, knowingly agrees to a weak position, that is, admits to being weak-willed and low-grade.

How do you protect yourself from this manipulation?

Run away. Such girls are fine with everything. There are plenty of guys in their lives who woo them, pay for them. If you respect your time, run. Girls who play hard to get, even if you get them, won't bring anything new into your life. They won't support you, they won't give you as much love as you can get from someone who was raised right. You can't reeducate her. She will change on her own, but it takes time. You're not ready to waste it.

End of part one.

​​Types of people you shouldn't help.

You may be a poor judge of people, and of those situations that do or do not require your intervention. So I've put together a few types of people you know who you shouldn't help, even if you're confident in your abilities and know you can make their lives better.

▫️ People who don't even try to deal with their problems themselves.
Live your life and don't try to play rescuer. If the person doesn't want to change their life, no amount of persuasion, facts, or active action on your part will help them. You will only waste your time and effort, and the bonus for the effort will also leave you feeling guilty.

▫️ People who think that everyone owes them.
It's better not to mess with such people: it's enough to help them once, and they will demand it all the time. If you do not want someone to sit on your neck, avoid communication with them. Or at least learn to refuse their requests that are clearly beyond the bounds of decency. Remember that you are not the only person who can help them. Don't make yourself the last man standing.

▫️ People who use you.
Why would you want to keep such people around you: you're not of interest to them until you become useful at something. At the same time, if you ask them for a favor in return or ask them for help, they won't even try to repay your kindness in any way.

▫️ People who criticize your actions.
There is a certain type of person who is always displeased with everything. They are equally dissatisfied with your denial of a request and with your help. No matter how hard you try to make their life better, they will always find something to pick on you for. You didn't do your job well enough, you didn't get them the results they wanted, or you were five minutes late for a meeting. The person is not ashamed to criticize you, to prove that you did not behave correctly, to make you guilty of something that did not go exactly according to plan.

​​The skills you need to be successful in life.

Hi, today I want to tell you about the skills you need to develop. Look, there are two kinds of skills: Hard Skills and Soft Skills.

Hard Skills are narrow professional skills that you need to do specific tasks in your day-to-day job. For example, if you want to make a website, you need Hard Skills - writing code for the site. Roughly speaking, the skill of a programmer.

Soft skills - non-professional skills that help you solve life tasks and work with other people. For example, you have Soft Skill - self presentation and when you get hired, you were chosen for the position because you were able to present yourself nicely.

Soft skills are useful in any field, are formed in childhood and are associated with emotional intelligence.

Flexible and hard skills should complement each other in order to solve tasks of different complexity. For example, a graphic designer would benefit from mastering soft skills: communication, creative thinking, empathy and hard skills: mastery of Adobe Photoshop, Sketch, Figma.

What soft skills to develop? I made a small list of popular soft skills.

▫️ Communication
▫️ Critical thinking
▫️ Service/Customer orientation.
▫️ Managing projects, people, and myself
▫️ Mentoring and mentoring
▫️ Problem Solving
▫️ Decision making
▫️ Emotional intelligence
▫️ Nonviolent communication
▫️ Knowledge Management
▫️ Working under uncertainty
▫️ Lean Production
▫️ Ecological thinking
▫️ Self-analysis and self-reflection

​​Restrictions as a tool for a better life.

People who can live a better life but voluntarily limit their conditions are called ascetics. And a no-frills lifestyle is accordingly called an ascetic. For a better understanding, here are examples of popular people who hold this position:

- Keanu Reeves (actor).
- Pavel Durov (founder of social networks VKontakte and Telegram)
- Ingvar Kamprad (founder of ikea)

Of course, it is not necessary and even, I think, not appropriate to take a radical ascetic image and eat the cheapest food, dress in the cheapest clothes and not spend money on entertainment and leisure. This is the other extreme of the same problem. But limiting yourself to what you really don't need is worth it.

When you indulge all your desires, you unwittingly bring up infantilism. When you chase like a madman for a new phone, knowing that it will be cheaper in a couple of months, it's a manifestation of excess. You're like that kid in the store, who starts getting cranky in front of everyone, so that his parents get uncomfortable and they buy him something.

When you try to get every girl to like you, you waste yourself emotionally and psychologically. No matter how hard you try, if you spend most of your energy on people, you just don't have the physical strength to excel at anything. That's why people need filtration, so that they don't waste themselves on people who don't deserve it. Even if it sounds a little arrogant, but you can't turn back time and waste an evening on a girl you don't know or on people you care about - the difference is fundamentally different.

And if you constantly indulge your desires, you will become more and more trapped in your own desires, which will become more and more primitive. You will regard failure in life as a great loss, rejection will tease you like a red rag to a bull, and to get the same pleasure you will be forced to continually raise the stakes. It won't end well.

Only and only limitations will help you to achieve new results all the time, not to relax, to enjoy even the small things, to be always energetic and in demand. People are used to limiting their potential and give complete freedom to their desires. This leads to constant depression, a lack of positivity, and complete spiritual emptiness. If everyone began to act the other way around, life would become a little easier.
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​​How do you begin to love yourself?

Today I want to delve more deeply into the subject of self-love and break down one effective technique that will help bring this self-love into life.

Self-love is a kind of investment. Why is this problem so urgent today? Because since childhood we are taught to share and suppress any initiative to do something for ourselves. You're supposed to give, give and concede, but you're not allowed to say no, take and ask.

Such mass education creates the illusion that this kind of behavior is the norm, and when you see someone behaving this way, you have no questions. Although somewhere subconsciously you understand that something is wrong. After all, you don't feel that it's good for you.

The fact is that we are the only guaranteed asset that we have. You must realize that throughout your life you will have nothing more secure than yourself. No business, no good wife, no friends, no parents can give you as much as you can give yourself.

But this ability has been tried throughout our lives as a weakness. So it is much easier for us to give than to take. This is why we often love someone or something more than we love ourselves. And therein lies the key problem. We're not afraid to spend a lot of our resources on other people, but, at the same time, we're constantly putting off even something necessary when it comes to ourselves.

I think you've already come to the logical conclusion from all of this. The more you invest in yourself, the more you love yourself. Invest in your knowledge, in your body, in your health, and in your appearance. This will give you a tremendous amount of motivation.

When you reward yourself for your accomplishments and victories, your brain will do its best to repeat that result, because that reward is the best emotion there is.

Investing in knowledge will always pay off in your experience. Appearance will always pay for itself with its confidence. Health will always pay for itself with its treatment. So don't spare your resources (time, energy and money) on yourself and don't put off working on yourself. Time is not infinite.

And that, by the way, is the main difference against selfishness. Because the egoist, in spite of all the illusion of self-love, will never spend on himself.

​​The Power of Solitude.

Every strong man has a period when he was at the bottom and didn't understand how to get out. Not the feeling of standing on a cliff and about to fall, but when you've already fallen and hit the ground with all your might, but you're still alive. Of course, the reasons we all fell are different. Moneylessness. Betrayal. Addiction. Unrequited love. Loss of loved ones. But there is always one lesson to be learned from any situation - you can overcome absolutely anything in life!

So this is a skill that can be learned. You can learn to be willing to overcome anything. Anyone who has ever faced it at least once has the ability to take control of that state. To be able to push back from the bottom. To quickly regroup and maneuver. And the tool that gives us that ability is seclusion.

Full quarantine to anything that doesn't come from us. Close off access from ourselves to the images, to the people who take up space in our space, to the content we're used to consuming. Everything we watch, read and listen to, everyone who comes into contact with us, all of it defines our internal structure. And if we are confronted with a situation that breaks us, our inner structure loses its pivot. So we have to leave only ourselves behind.

The fewer distractions left, the stronger our retreat will be. During solitude, we can concentrate on that endless stream of thoughts that sits in our heads. And it needs to be done. We need to let all those thoughts flow through us, or else we'll be doing it at night before we go to sleep. And that's going to lead to health problems.

And so when the thoughts are gone and the desire to live begins to ignite again, we must begin again to cull those things that affect our inner structure. Reconsider the images, reconsider the people around us, reconsider what we are used to reading, watching, listening to. Only in this format can we quickly and without much damage renew and let go of what has held us back for so long.

And even though this process seems rather abstract, it helps to cope with a state where you seem to be cut off from the world. Never have people suffered from depression the way the modern generation does! Because nowadays solitude is practically non-existent. It is difficult for a person to be left without notifications, calls, and pop-up banners for even a few hours. Solitude, though, has the kind of power that definitely provides benefits.

​​The importance of the male community.

Men's community is one of the tools for raising one's rank. When a man feels the support of his peers behind his back, he automatically becomes more masculine. We are not talking about those who, being in large company, provokes conflict. That's the other extreme. I'm talking about real courage.

But in today's reality, masculine unity is lacking in many men. And this problem has no age, which makes it even more acute. It's hard to find great male company in young men as well as in adult, established men.

The lack of companionship is the result of a lack of interest in general development. Most young guys, when they see adult companies, immediately realize that they are the local "men" who drink beer in the yard. Then they grow up and just replace the previous ones. But that's not brotherhood. This is mass degradation.

A real men's community exists only under conditions of struggle. Because it is in the conditions of struggle that the masculine nature manifests itself. Look at the friendship of the military. How close their emotional connection is. Look at the friendship of athletes who have gone through a lot of difficulties together. Especially among those in martial arts.

Once you're in an environment where everyone is there to support you, you begin to reach your potential. Of course, this factor alone is not enough to completely transform your personality. But it is definitely fundamental. If you have a loyal male environment, you become braver, you become more responsible, it's easier for you to get over your worries, you're less fixated on small problems, because solving them doesn't make it hard for you.

But all of this has one little "But."

In order to be part of a strong society, you have to be strong yourself. You yourself have to lead people, be an example. This may manifest itself in different situations, but it is a necessary requirement. Going back to the friendships that are formed in conditions of overcoming, it is clear that there people trust each other only because each of them gave their best when it was necessary.

And as someone who was raised around athletes and men who respect their mates, I am often hurt by the modern view of "loneliness" and the desire to have as few friends in life as possible. Many people think this is how maturity shows up, but I see men in their 40s and 50s every day at training who still walk around in company and command nothing but respect. And I think each of them is ready to help his fellow man.

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Damning and harsh comments from madrid president.

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Mirallas:
Please how do I join the contest and when is the next one

same here i would like to join the next contest

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