₦airaland Forum

hailolive:
for your car diagnostic.

at affordable price, =N=7,000


call or contact 08023273523.

Smart technologies

this is an unnecessary cost!

kindly send the prices of sofa to ayusman16@yahoo.com. Need to change urgently

If u dont fight for qualification, will u be given a trophy?

No true Arsenal Fans with the Gunners' blood runining in their veins would decamp to a team like Chelsea or rival Man. United. They rather commit suicide! Check the newbie Gadol with just three posts and tell me it aint prank by a drunkard? Gunners for life i remain!

I can't believe i have been arguing with you. Good night sir!

U r so smart(Oxymoron). Jealous? Why? Because u got to the semis of champions league? Or becos u got the finals of FA cup? or becos u changed 3 coaches in a season? or becos u spent over a hundred million pounds on ur strikers that couldnt scored more than one goal when it matters but tried to rely on ref to award penalty to qualify? Bros. am sure u no be chelsea fan b4 the advent of Mouthino? Now go sleeep!

chelseabmw:
ONE TIN ABOUT THIS ARSENAL FANS THEY DONT EVEN KNOW THERE STARTING ELEVEN.THEY JUST CLIAM TO BE ARSENAL FANS, THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLED ANTI-CHELSEA THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS.

@Ccomputers AND @ayusman16
PLEASE KNOW THAT U SO CALLED TEAM MESS UP TODAY AND U GUYS SHOULD GO TO THE DRWAING BOARD AND RESOLVE ISSUES.THAT IS IF U HAVE A DRAWING BOARD. MAN UTD WON U GUYS, CHELSEA SAME TIN , LIVERPOOL, U NA NOR DEY TIRE!!!!!!!!!!


CHELSEA IS THE BEST,

WE HAVE CHELSEA FORMS AVAIABLE FOR U

U fail to understand something, U AINT WINNING NOTHING ALSO THIS SEASON. So tell me, what is the difference between u Chelsea and Babies Arsenal? U change coaches like diapers, u spend milllions every transfer season and yet no trophy to show for it. So what makes u guys better? I'll rather jump into a well that support a shitty, historyless and violent team like chelsea.

chelseabmw:
ONE TIN ABOUT THIS ARSENAL FANS THEY DONT EVEN KNOW THERE STARTING ELEVEN.THEY JUST CLIAM TO BE ARSENAL FANS, THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLED ANTI-CHELSEA THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS.

@Ccomputers AND @ayusman16
PLEASE KNOW THAT U SO CALLED TEAM MESS UP TODAY AND U GUYS SHOULD GO TO THE DRWAING BOARD AND RESOLVE ISSUES.THAT IS IF U HAVE A DRAWING BOARD. MAN UTD WON U GUYS, CHELSEA SAME TIN , LIVERPOOL, U NA NOR DEY TIRE!!!!!!!!!!


CHELSEA IS THE BEST,

WE HAVE CHELSEA FORMS AVAIABLE FOR U

U fail to understand something, U AINT WINNING NOTHING ALSO THIS SEASON. So tell me, what is the difference between u Chelsea and Babies Arsenal? U change coaches like diapers, u spend milllions every transfer season and yet no trophy to show for it. So what makes u guys better? I'll rather jump into a well that support a shitty, historyless and violent team like chelsea.

u no serious!

Mine or ur papa own?

Okay! We've heard. Make una go celebrate una trophy. COngratulations to all Chelsea fans for defeating Arsenal Babies today. Shey we go rest now?

@FBS

Just like the babies didnt whoop ur ass at Samford bridge this season?

As far as i am concern, Chelsea, Liverpool and my dear Arsenal would be tropyless this season. Except them don dey give trophy for beating Arsenal for Emirate.

U dey mind the guy, a team without history like Chelsea.

How the thing come dey pain u? Allow us to carry our cross. Remember u guys might also be tropyless like Arsenal? Gunner 4 life i still remain!

See as all these shepe mumus dey jubilate like say dem don win league cos una beat small boys, anyway, na Wenger i blame!

saucekid:
uhm
osanobuamen

so anusman still sabi yarn jokes??
we don train u well jare

Copy and paste dey hard these days just like fuel!

bring it to where?

Rev. Reinhard Bonke came to Okuokoko village in delta state for a convention. He climbed on the podium and started preaching the gospel. Barely 10 minutes had he started that he noticed that the congregation were grumbling and leaving. He called on the nearest man (Akpos Akpomiemie) and asked why they were leaving and Akpomiemie answered "Bros, dem no understand your big grammar.” Reinhard Bonke thought for a moment and then asked Akpomiemie for assistantce. This is what ensued:

Reinhard Bonke: "As it was in the bible"

Akpos Akpomiemie: "As dem yarn for bible"

Reinhard Bonke: "Jesus entered the boat with his disciples"

Akpos Akpomiemie: "Na im Jesus fall in and arrange for canoe with him pally dem"

Reinhard Bonke: "As the boat was sailing there was a great storm"

Akpos Akpomiemie: " As the canoe dey move na im yawa come gas"

Reinhard Bonke: " the storm was so great that it was like a whirl wind"

Akpos Akpomiemie: "de yawa come de so tay, kasala burst enter"

Reinhard Bonke: " the disciples were now afraid and they shouted master master"

Akpos Akpomiemie: "na im pally dem liver drop, dem begin hala, “bros e, bros e”

Reinhard Bonke: " Jesus got up and calm down the wind"

Akpos Akpomiemie: "Na im Jesus tanda, come arrange de yawa"

Reinhard Bonke: " He turned to his disciples and said, you are men of little faith"

Akpos Akpomiemie: Na so Jesus look im pally dem, shake head, tell dem say “NNA MEN, UNA FALL MY HAND ON PER SECOND BILLING”

Entry level sir. Guys on the same level in MTN do not earn the same salary as yearly increment is strickly cost of living and performance based.

Shayo Shayo shayo!!!

Abeg, make una leave the guy make him enjoy him pepper

That would be good if you refrain from posting more false details.

@d-ROC

There is a big difference being well informed and feeling it. His information aint entirely correct.

I got a typical call very recently, here's the gist:

Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?

Ayusman: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?

Mr. 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in UK that could be calling?

(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap…)

Ayusman: Johnson! Is that you? (I don't know any Johnson in UK.)

(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)

Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognise my voice initially?

(Certain it's scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially. I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call credit.)

Ayusman: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially bad boy) Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of original curses curses for you.

Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn't hear. I would have come.

Ayusman: Too bad. You heard you mama is leprous too? You didn't hear about that, abi?

Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.

Ayusman: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?

Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…

(Breaking in before he begins his story)

Ayusman: Johnson, O se mi o: you offended me. I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don't have his kind of patience I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve.

Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important,

Ayusman: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad, Are you now a 419? Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you, And you can't escape it if you continue like this. It's not a curse.

Mr. 419: I'll repay you.

After about 50 minutes of moves and countermoves…I owned up.

Ayusman: See Mr. 419, I don't know any Johnson in UK. I just needed to teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.

Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat'aaro! (Madman, and you've been cursing me since morning!)

Ayusman. Disconnected.

See yarn.

AjanleKoko:
Dudes,
I may not be totally right about the MTN entry level. Considering that their call center staff there are mostly contract. However, there are Level 1 staff in other areas of the company asides from the call center (NMC for one). Ask your MTN staff friends (I hope they're not contract call center agents).
Recall I mentioned in my post that there are some exceptions.
However, I am dead-on as per the ranges for any of the four companies.
Like I said earlier, I have worked in 2 of these four companies since 2001, so I'm not talking second hand gist here. If you don't work in any one of these companies, just hold your peace abeg

Your comment about etisalat and Zain are laughable. You guys are outsiders reading newspapers, definitely not insiders.
For instance, Zain has not done any mass sacking or even outsourcing. Nobody has been laid off en masse, despite the various threats and proposals. Only the HR Director, Procurement Director, and 3 CxOs were laid off. Procurement Director has since joined etisalat.
If you're talking layoffs, know for a fact that more than 250 staff have left Zain for various reasons since 2007. Nobody was laid off en masse.
The proposal is under serious dispute by the board of the company, considering that ITS, the Lebanese company who the IT is planned to be outsourced to, belongs to the Group CEO of Zain, Dr Saad Al-Barak.

Who told you etisalat has money to throw around? Ask your friends in etisalat how much they're earning, if you have any friends there.
They pay well, but the pay is not more than the industry average. Take a very good look at the salary bands I defined before you start posting refutals.

peace.

Bros. Most of the entry level positions into NMC are not level 1 but level 2. And nobody is talking about contract staff here. You may have worked in two of the four telecoms but definately not MTN as most of your figures were quite misleading,

@Raskimono
Ask any MTN staff that earns 1.9m per annum if he/she takes more than 75k home monthly. As for the tax. That is something most of the staff cannot fathom.

No mind am!

AjanleKoko:
@GoldCircle, pele!
Okay, all monies are in naira.

Entry Level: Generally these are call center agents. But can apply anywhere in the company.
MTN: ~2.5-3m
Zain: ~1.5-2m
Glo: ~2.5m
etisalat: 900k

Specialist:
MTN: 3.5-4.5m
Zain: 3m-4m
Glo: Not specified, can be anything.
etisalat: 3-5m

Manager:
MTN: 10m, car and other benefits can take it all the way to 12-14m.
Zain: This is tricky. Zain just killed their organogram, so there's no manager on the same hierarchial level as other telcos. But this is around 9-13.5m inclusive of everything
Glo: Not specified, can be anything. In fact there is no hierarchial structure in Glo. But managers can get anything between 6m and 25m.
etisalat: 8-14m. no car, and exclusive of medical.

Senior Manager:
MTN: 15-25m inclusive of car and medical.
Zain: 14m-20m, inclusive of car,exclusive of medical. I believe this is the level now referred to as 'manager' in zain.
Glo: Nothing like Senior Manager in Glo. Just like Manager.
etisalat: 14-21m. No car, and exclusive of medical.

Director/GM/CxO:
This one is across board. Can be anything from 25m to 50m depending on experience, negotiation skills, etc.

These are all starting salaries. There are some exceptions, e.g zain specialists earn anything between 3m and 8m, but generally speaking, if you can command an 8m salary, zain will probably offer you a manager cadre job.
Hope this will help somewhat.
P.S. I have worked in 2 of these companies since 2001, and have at various times been offered positions in the other two, so I know exactly what each and every one of them pay.

Abegee. I think u r highly misinformed and misdirected. Where do av MTN pay 2.5 entry level? Must be in dreamland or in another god's era. MTN entry level is less than 1.9m and the monthly take home pay would be less that 80k after tax. Please verify from any MTN staff.

Maybe this na Nairaland price level. As per na bigs boys dey here!

Take beans with fried eggs make u come use kunu geda wash down, before u enter the hall, make sure u eat pop corn and yoghurt

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ,
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks to God! I thought it was a new one.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ,
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup,

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

It is a well-known fact that all daughter-in-laws have

problems with their mother-in-laws.


Anyway, one day the daughter-in-laws all got together

and decided to apologize to their mother-in-laws for

everything they had supposedly done wrong. A week

later, the daughter-in-laws decided to take their

families (including their mother-in-laws) on a picnic.

The mother-in-laws were all in one bus, which was the

first to leave for the picnic site. On the way, their

bus had an accident and all the mother-in-laws died.


The daughter-in-laws were utterly devastated but one

in particular was more heart broken than the others.

Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at

least her mother-in-law had died without any tension

between them.


But still she cried.


Eventually, when she was calm enough to speak, the

other women asked her why she had been crying so

much. 'Was your mother-in-law *that* special?' they

wanted to know. The woman, now sobbing

uncontrollably, replied












"No. . . she missed the bus."