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BellaElla's Posts

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EventsRe: Is N500k Marriage Still Possible In This Recession? by BellaElla(f): 8:35am On Sep 22, 2017
MrBigiman:
Thanks. So far I have managed to save 800k. I told the lady we should try and budget 500k, so we still have some change but she claim I don't value her and says I should step it up to 1.4m. She also say I must buy a ride, DAT she can't be married and trekking.
Issa very simple something cheesy
Tell her ok, you have heard no problem
Go and do introduction with her people.
Fix date for trad and tell everybody
1 week to the trad tell her you have not saved up to 1.4m and you have not bought car, that she should give you another two years to hustle grin
Na her family sef go come beg you make dem add their own money join grin grin grin
On a serious note, before you start planning any wedding, make sure both of you are on the same page as regards income, expenditure and saving habits.
FamilyRe: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by BellaElla(f): 2:11pm On Sep 21, 2017
That sentence is very derogatory and used to put people down.
If someone sees you looking finer, fresher or more shapely they will hardly comment on it but once you add a few kg everyone and their mother joins weightwatchers.com on your behalf.
I remember when I was pregnant , some people will see me and start exclaiming. You don black finish! You don worwor finish! You don fat finish! I was more than eight months pregnant o. was i expected to remain skinny?
When I gave birth the voltrons came again. You are fat, your tummy is still big, small small before you burst, etc. I was just a few months postpartum. I will change my dp on watsapp , they will start attacking me : watch your weight o. blablabla.
Now at my heaviest during pregnancy i weighed 75kg so its not like I am obese. Now I weigh 69kg and I don't even reply them anymore.
People you should never use that phrase on.
1. pregnant ladies
2. nursing mothers (our esteem is still very fragile biko, dont shatter it for us cheesy)
3. Men that just got married ( a few kg is expected to join the body mass cheesy)
4. People that have been bedridden for long
5. any f**king person at all. fact is they already know their size and your comments will do nothing for them
EventsRe: Is N500k Marriage Still Possible In This Recession? by BellaElla(f): 8:43am On Sep 21, 2017
I need to ask, is the 500k all the money you have in your savings or just what you have earmarked for you wedding?
if the former is the case, please hold on a while and try to save some more or reduce your wedding budget by 200k . U should never start a marriage with an empty account balance.
If the latter is the case, i will proceed to breakdown the expenses for you.
Traditional marriage : (200k)
- attire for couple : 30k
-5 crates of malt (120pcs) : 15k
-Half bag of rice and condiments: 40k
-1 cow leg : 15k
- Marriage rites 100k ( This will work only if you have an understanding bride and inlaws)
Borrow a home theater system to her place for music and play from your phone using auxiliary wire.

Wedding / Registry : 300k
Groom suit, shoes, shirt :20k (You can get a wonderful suit from Ariaria market for 14k)
Brides outfit : 50k
Dj :10k (Get a friend to do Mc)
catering for 100 people : 100k .(Budget 1k per person, it will be enough) everybody must not chop grin
Chairs, canopies, decoration: 50k
Rings, Cake : 50k
photography :50k

Tips on how to save more money
1. Do trad and white same day. This saves half of the cooking and logistics fund which can be utilized elsewhere.
2. Use an open field for reception
3. Avoid buying asoebi with the hope that people will buy from you.most people especially family will just collect and not pay back. give colours of the day instead.
4. You do not need to print 200 invitation cards. about 20 pcs will do for your esteemed guests, the rest can be invited electronically
5. Please , please and please, do not waste money on plenty 5 step cake and a bejeweled bouquet, or even expensive bridal shoes. You will have no need them after that day
6. You do not need emblazoned souvenir bags, there are plenty plastic souvenirs sold for 100 naira each.
7. You do not need to collect photobook ooooo. Many photographers use that to scam couples . What I did during my wedding was that I hired 2 cameras video and photo (5D) for 2 days at 15k each per day. I gave a relative to take pics and he put the soft copies in a flash for me. everything for trad and white cost 70k and i Had great quality pics. I did the photobook and two frames at a later date when we had recovered small and it was way cheaper doing it myself.
8. Please do not serve alcohol at ur wedding if you want to cut cost.

If the 500k is for only wedding ceremony then you do not have wahala. Just ensure you and your bride are on the same page and she knows exactly how much you have to spend.
FamilyRe: Things People Experience After Marriage And Never Want Unmarried To Know? by BellaElla(f):
I would leave my reply at "things people experience after marriage" i will exclude the remaining parts cos these things are quite normal

1. Tighter finances : Its fun going out every weekend with until you have to start catering for additional mouths with pre- marriage income. baby food now replaces sharwarma. School fees replace iphone 7/galaxy s8. You who will normally dash out your bad tv now finds a way to patch it up and manage it for longer. You never get around to changing your old bachelor hood sofa's because just when you wanted to buy that sleek set of 9-seater settee that you have been ogling at in the furniture brochure, your mother in-law calls your wife to remind her that her younger brother hasnt paid his fees and The rent is also due.
2. Job Loss : If only we knew how many men and women have lost their jobs. Some people are surviving on what they were able to acquire before marriage. Income after marriage fluctuates a whole lot due to retrenchment, bad business deals, stopping work to take care of the kids etc. That is why it is advised not to base your choices solely on finances cos it is quite unpredictable.
3. Reduction in sex..ual attraction: Yes , its quite normal to lose the steam after a few years of marriage. The lust is replaced with warmth and companionship. The truth is that I have come to discover that marriage is more about companionship than any other thing. having someone to share your victories and loses with, succeeding together through job loss, death of family, debts, loans making sacrifices. do you know the exhilaration that comes with building a house together with your spouse? Denying yourselves so that your dreams can come true? watching your plans take form from paper to reality? Marriage is good i tell you. When people say marriage is not an achievement or marriage is overrated, I smile internally. a GOOD marriage is all that and more.
4. Fear : Every marriage has its own share of fear and doubts. What if he doesnt find me attractive anymore after 3 children? What if I lose my job and cant provide for my wife and children? What if I am involved in an accident and lose my limbs? what if my spouse dies at a very young age and leaves me behind? what if my husband brings a 5 year old child home one day and says he is the child's father? what if I am not responsible for my wife's first pregnancy etc. These questions come up once in a while especially when triggered by an event/action around us. While you should not bury your head in sand while in marriage, do not also make it your point of duty to prove that your spouse can never betray or hurt you. Always have your shock absorbers well greased and ready grin grin
5. Spousal jealousy : There are times when a spouse is far ahead of the other in terms of achievements . The other one might start feeling left behind.
6. Uncertainty: Did I make the right choice? would my ex have been a better choice? what if he/she changes? what if I meet my soulmate after marriage? what ifhuhhuhhuh?. These thoughts come to the best of us after marriage especially when there is a misunderstanding, but the good thing is that those thoughts go away once your spouse does something that reminds you of why you got married to them in the first place

The list goes on and on but marriage is for people that have jointly come to the realization that life is full of ups and downs, and are determined to make it despite the odds.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 12:50pm On Aug 09, 2017
porsche2014:
Hi everyone, I had my baby last week friday and am a ftm. It was a safe delivery and baby is doing very well. Please i want to know the drugs i will be giving to my baby girl. i understand that new borns need drugs and supplements to help keep them healthy and fight diseases. Please tell me.
Congrats mama, welcome to the best job in the world.
Your baby girl does not need drug or supplements if she is feeding very well.
You only need to take her for the immunizations listed on her vaccine card.
if your baby is sucking and pooing well, then all is well (as long is the poo is not green)
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 3:59pm On Aug 07, 2017
Chanbaby:
Thank u so much. I make it loose. He weighs about 9.3kg and wear size 3 molfix daiper. Is it still good for him or I should go to a size 4.
Pls where can I get babyhug diaper to buy.
size 3 is wayyyy too small for him mama. size four is from 7-18kg. your baby is overdue for size 4 pls.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f):
sexyjuly:
thanks ma.i appreciate ur kind response n suggestions.
not only skineal is dangerous. funbact A, visita as well.they are used to treat skin conditions and are easily absorbed by the skin.
If you must mix the ori, please use either coconut oil, palm kernel oil, vaseline blue seal, olive oil.
Alternatively there are a wide range of baby products available. chicco,pears,zimzim,johnsons,etc
the milder, the better
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 11:18am On Jul 28, 2017
silvoice:
pls urgent help before my wife goes ahead to buy cough syrup. We are having a heated argument over it.
Cough syrup is not advised in babies because it looses up the phlegm and the baby cant cough it out.
most times in struggling to get rid of the mucor, they end up vomiting.
I gave my 9month old zinnat for the cough/catarh and it cleared within 2 days.
its very effective.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 11:15am On Jul 28, 2017
reniduke:
@giddyperson, @naomi14, everybori. Im about to give up on breastfeeding. My milk supply has refused to be reliable. My baby was patient at the beginning when there was almost nothing coming out such that i had to supplement with formula to stop weight loss Ive drank so much ogi that if u cut me ogi might flow before blood so dont even volunteer that advice again. She's no longer patient to suck such that even now that its flowing beta than before, she will beat my bt and start crying if its not fast enough. N once she's annoyed, na 1hour + cry be that.

My ability to sleep at night is disappearing before my very eyes. Cos she used to be content to suck bt from 8pm till daybreak. Last night i had to make a bottle before she could eat enough to go back to sleep. I want to know if there's any other solution before i give up n face formula only.
I discovered that beans increased my milk supply, as in hot porriage beans
Zobo also gave me the same results
If all fails, please give more formula, the most important is for baby to have a full tummy
you can give formula first, then bobby as dessert
she will be more patient if she is not very hungry
you dont need to give up totally on b/feeding
keep giving her to suck, with time both of you will find a rythm that works well
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 3:34pm On Jul 26, 2017
debbydominic:
Good day mums. My hubby confessed to me some days ago that my live in maid that left last month, they both had some things going on, that they never had sex but they romanced countless times in the midnight when I was asleep. He said it started when I refused him sex so the girl in question started seducing him with her dressing. I have a 6 months old baby who wakes up in the midnight a lot to breastfeed. I trusted my hubby so much that I can't believe such a thing would happen, am in so much shock and so angry.he also confessed that that is the main reason she left cos web our sex life improved he wasn't going to her again.i asked him why he didn't tell me immediately all these started since I thought we were close, and he said he didn't know how I would react. Right now am not just talking with him anymore and I don't respect him again cos I remember how he yelled at me a lot when she was around. It's still as if am dreaming. Please experienced mothers advise.I have not being myself since he told me. What is holding me back from reacting is because he confessed and I didn't catch them in the act. At this stage I don't trust any man again.
You will come out strong,
Your marriage will overcome this by God's grace
How old is the girl in question?
Why did she leave, of her own will or you were tired of her staying?
I strongly believe both of them went all the way
You need to find out if she was forced or she was willing
How was she behaving before she left
Your hubby is trying to get a soft landing, find out if the girl was threatening to tell you, thats why he opened up.
You need to know the depth of their affair before any reconciliatory moves
Brace your self, you might hear more shockers (the girl can come back and claim pregnancy, rape etc)
I am not saying these to scare you, I only want you to lose your naivety.
No man is a saint, dont allow yourself be blamed. Your denying him sex was not the reason he went fore the help.
Also snoop and investigate properly, he might have affairs outside.
Do not start any reconciliation yet till you have as much facts as you can.
You will forgive him, it will take time, but you will.
Do not force yourself, give it time, give yourself some space.
Please dont go to church for reconciliation, they will ask you to kneel down and apologize to him for allowing his sexual spirit to wander.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 3:16pm On Jul 26, 2017
helovesme:
Take him to the hospital. It is possible he's got a chest infection.
Welcome back. i have missed you grin
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 11:14am On Jul 24, 2017
tdbankplc:
Help! My baby is 14weeks and serious colic is dealing with her and she has a slightly big belly button? Could this be colic or side effect of big belly button?
If you look at her stomach you see it rising like a rodent is walking inside... doc said it's nothing but not all doc can be relied on
Read up on abdominal wall/muscles seperation in babies and see if it could be the issue
A lot of doctors do not like going into details with mothers because
1. They do not want to alarm the mother if the issue can be reversed by self
2. They think a lot of mothers are dumb/stupid because they didnt attend medical school
3. Some have a god-complex and would not want to break down the medical jargon to layman's terms so they just shoo you away.
You have to develop a very close relationship with Mr.Google if not Naija doctors fit frustrate you. lol.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 4:30pm On Jul 07, 2017
MoyosBlog123:
All I see is a depressed TTC sister. May the Lord bless u sooner than u expect in Jesus name.
No mama......Thats not fair na. Yes she might be extreme with her words, but then there are some really wicked people that have severly abused kids living with them. I have a help so I fit follow for people she dey insult but i kind of see where she is coming from.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 12:38pm On Jul 07, 2017
cheesy :DSo I just wanna be one of the people that commented on the 1000th page
To all the mama's that have answered questions, asked questions, sent links, made this thread a place where I cant do without, THANK YOU!
Cheers to another millenium !!!!!!!!!!!!!
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f):
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HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 11:02am On Jul 06, 2017
olubankemi:
She has been found! Details later. Just help me thank God.
Glory be to God
FamilyRe: Whats Your View? by BellaElla(f):
eyinjuege:
You're still not accepting responsibility on behalf of Adam. It was under his watch, he was the one in charge and he failed at it. Otherwise, unless you agree Eve was the one God put in charge of the garden or at the very least they both had equal leadership roles in the garden/ the home.
You cannot have the sweet part of being the head alone, and then refuse to accept the bitter part/ other responsibilities that come with it.
God put Adam in charge of the garden/home. He failed to keep the home/ garden.
I see a repetition of Adam's mistakes and even attitude afterwards in a lot of men generally today. Always failing to accept responsibility, always blaming others and their women for their inadequacies and failure to put a working system in place. Maybe it's ingrained since creation? Or they just lack understanding.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 8:43am On Jul 04, 2017
olubankemi:
I don cry my eyes don swell today. My bp too go don high.

The girl living with me scaled the fence and left the house.

Should I put up her pics on nl and plead with the mods to help move it to fp?

She told me her sister is not doing fine where she is n want to go there and let her sister come to my place. I refused and never knew she had plans. She doesn't know anywhere, people said they saw her walking in the rain.
Ask the agent that brought her
I am sure he/she knows where the sister or your girl is
Do you have any of her family's contact?
Did she leave with her bag?
Go through her stuff if she didint, you might find something that can help
She has been planning for a longtime, dont fret
how old is she?
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 8:39am On Jul 04, 2017
gigy:
Can I give my 4month baby lactel fruity banana. Please find attached the pix. I need to be sure before I do.
Mama you cant!
It is clearly indicated that it has fruit pieces
Your LO CANT! digest any solids for now
Please put it away
You can only give Formula or bm
If u must give food , then it should be light pap or single cereals like gerber rice or oats. ( for supported sitters)
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 7:42am On Jun 26, 2017
Giddyperson:
Biko nu, how does a blocked milk duct feel like. I have a very hard, irregular shaped, painless, weird, scary lump on my breast.
Are your Bras too tight? Wear a loose fitting bra, or go braless and b.feed frequently. Make sure u empty the lumpy one first. It's normal.
FamilyRe: Is Exclusive Breastfeeding For 6months A Sacrifice Too Much For A Mother To Give by BellaElla(f): 10:19am On Jun 21, 2017
konfused:
Hmmmm, thank you, the part of the baby loosing weight is getting me worried?

Am I being selfish on insisting EBFhuh

I really don't like formula feeding, with all the chemicals, and presevatives.

I will try to get her to eat more of the foods mentioned to enhance more breast milk production. I really want her to do the EBF for 6months at least.
You have to look at critically from all angles before you insist on EBF
A lot of babies are malnourished due to lack of adequate nutrients , their parents insisted on Exclusive even though it was apparent that enough milk wasnt produced.
Just like some people sweat a lot and some people dont, some women have high milk production while others dont
If your wife wants to introduce formula, allow her please. Dont make her depressed at this period, it wont even help the milk production
She can do mixed feeding, maybe give him formula twice in the day, and breastmilk at other times. Babies eat almost 8 times a day. He will still have enough breast milk.
My son has been on formula since birth, he has never purged, or had issues with his health. Even when he was teething, he didnt get sick.
Formula is not evil please, your wife has a say in this as well because its her body and her boobs. Its not easy to whip out your boobs wherever you are.
What your wife needs as a new mother is your constant support, I am sure she loves the baby as much as you do and wont want to put her/him in harms way
Besides I am almost sure your mum didnt do exclusive for you but you turned out fine, didnt you? cheesy
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f):
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HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 8:26am On May 15, 2017
PresVA:
Hey... Anyone? ? pls..

lost phone numbers of those I had
07035451476.Christain is his name. He got me the person I am staying with now in ph. U pay him 10k. Tell him ur spec.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f):
helovesme:
Lmao grin

Yimu @ benefits grin

The only thing I can think of is that you will have a baby that sleeps a lot and pees a lot. cheesy
But what is there not to luv in this bowl of creamy goodness cheesy

Pap is bae

FamilyRe: Am I Still Married? by BellaElla(f): 6:58am On May 12, 2017
bellau09:
We didn't do any of that oo.
There was no registry, no signing on a paper with the coat of arms, no notice that I know of. Nothing of the such...
You are not married biko
The church wedding was only a ceremony since you didnt sign the marriage certificate
This one they gave you can't be used for any legal proceedings.
The marriage certificate is the legally recognized document for official purposes
, u are free as a bird.
When u are asked if u have ever been married, say no.
Your ex can't challenge it cos he doesn't have legally binding proof.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 6:47am On May 12, 2017
inikamoze:
Hello house,

I greet you all fellow parents. I need advice from all the senior mamas and papas in the house. I have a 9months old son, soon to turn 10 months this May, first of all he sweats a lot, sometimes when the weather is mildly hot and the fan is on, he sweats, sometimes I am propelled to want to increase the speed of the fan but for fear of cold getting into his body. Even when the weather is cool, he still sweats. Is this normal of do I have something to worry about?
Secondly, the lil man is scared of eating, the sight of the plate for his food sends him to frenzy....lol. He cries as if he is been stabbed when eating as his mother/my wife has to force the food in him till he finishes it, which is quite tasking on the mother and frustrating too,however he stops crying immediately he finishes, which makes me believe he just doesn't like the 'eating food' part of life. These yeye habit started when he turned 5months. His food now is Lactogen 2, Cerelac(mixed fruits, wheat with milk) and Pap(Ogi baba). He eats solid/adult food but after 3 bites or swallows, he is done and would want to run off to play.
He is still on the chubby side and weighs about 9.8kg but his fear for food gets me worried and angry too...How I go dey grind my behind to ensure he eats and the lil bugger would run away from food at sighting the plate.
What can we do to make him eat without crying? Are there other foods children love to eat?
Sorry papa, I know how frustrating it can be
My 7 months old son was eating well o and suddenly stopped collecting solids at 6.5 months
He would refuse to swallow and the food will just be wasting.
Force feeding is very risky
What I did was I stopped feeding him myself cos I noticed the Shakara was more when I did the feeding
My househelp feeds him, she sings, dances, jumps before he swallows but at least he finishes his food
We do one spoon of food and half spoon of water, sometimes the water helps him swallow the food.
Sometimes she lies him down on the bed and feeds him while standing. Creativity is key
You can try mashing sweet fruits like bananas, steamed apples and feed him with that alone. You can also try boiled sweet potatoes with milk and steamed carrots all roughly blended.
You can allow him to feed himself let him make a mess with finger foods, while the person tries feeding him. You can let someone else apart from your wife feed him. Let your wife not even be in the house.
There is no guarantee that all these will work but you have to keep trying different things. He doesn't have to finish the food for you to know he has had enough. Please try and stop force feeding so that he doesn't start associating food with pain and fear.
HealthRe: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by BellaElla(f): 3:26pm On Apr 10, 2017
zimunachimdi:
thank you ma. i don reason this ur side.
i fit use bold blue earrings ba?since na up neck na.

forgive me my plenty questions,i dey Bleep up for combination.
If you are wearing gold wristwatch and rings then you can go with gold coated earrings. You can buy those bold ones. It will make you look more expensive grin grin grin. You can get some for as Cheap as 100 naira. Same with silver too. Let your earrings match your wristwatch and rings since you won't be wearing a necklace.

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