₦airaland Forum

MY PARISH PRIEST


A chilly Saturday morning in the ever-calm Ediba Village, Mass had just ended in Saint Mary's Catholic and the parishioners walked quietly out of the church, with chaplets and holy water blessed by Reverend Father John-Bosco in their hands. The harmattan cold and piano-tuning of a recession hymn softly in the background by the choirmaster placed the church's ambiance in a calm and reflective state. This mood was on the faces of the members as they dispersed, exception of the catechist who was known to always have something to yell about even during sober periods. This morning it was a group of some kids who stepped on Reverend Father's sprouting flowers that made catechist Alloy lost his cool.
“I know your parents!! I must surely flog you all in front of them.” he shouted in frustration at the young boys who took to their heels immediately they sighted him approaching with a whip.


An hour later the church became somewhat scanty, just left with the women dressing the altar and a particular brother who laid on one of the benches with tears rolling from his eyes. He had been crying before and during the Mass, and with the help of one of the Altar servers who called the attention of the catechist during the Mass, Reverend Father John-Bosco was aware of the happening even before he entered his house. Father spent two hours after the Mass inside his private chapel meditating and reciting the litany of the blessed virgin Mary, something he had been doing right from his early days in the seminary. He rounded off the prayers with the sign of the cross and kissed the rosary.
“Sixtus, tell the catechist that I want to see him.” he instructed one of the minor seminarians who lived in his quarters with him.
Despite being twenty years older than the parish priest, Catechist Alloy revered him like a sacred person and always lost his cool whenever any person makes the mistake of not giving utmost regard to the priest. He appeared before the Reverend Father John-Bosco the next minute with his hands crossed behind.
“You sent for me, Father” he bowed slightly.
“Yes, I did. Have you had something to eat?”
“No, I have not.”
“Alright. The boys are preparing breakfast. Is that young man still there?”
“Yes Father! As a matter of fact, he has not stopped crying since then.”
“Ask him to go wait for me in the parish chapel, I will join him there in thirty minutes.”
“Okay Father.”
“Catechist, would the remaining host and wine be enough for the evening Mass today?” he called the old man who was already some steps away.
“Yes Father, but I still have to get more today for tomorrow and the Masses for the coming week.”
“Good. Make sure you come to me for transportation fare, and I do not want you to go on foot like you did three weeks ago.”
“No problem Father.”

***

Dressed in a white cassock with a Roman collar, Reverend Father John-Bosco took the backdoor and went straight to the chapel, where he met the brother who had stopped crying and was now reading a bulletin. He stood up almost immediately and prostrated when he saw Father. At an instant observation, Father John-Bosco noticed the scars on his body and a skull tattoo on his chest from his broken buttons.
“Get up and sit.”
The brother bursted into another crying session and Father had to pull him up himself. From his appearance, he looked weary and dirty with bloodshot eyes. He finally got to make him sit and talk after minutes of persuasion.
“Father, I am doomed .. I am finished and I ..” his voice trailed off and he buried his face in his palm.
“If you are not going to talk properly with me, I am afraid I will have no other option but to send you away. What is the problem?”
“Father, I have committed grave sins. God can never forgive me.” he sniffed and swallowed hard.
“Do not say that. What exactly did you do?”
The brother remained silent for some minutes, just when Father John-Bosco was about to lose his cool he began to speak.
“I have lived a terrible life, and it all began eleven years ago when I first relocated to the streets. I think that was when I understood the devil's side of the story and I lost my mind ever since then.”
He paused and stared at the priest who motioned for him to continue.
“All of a sudden I found myself getting amused by the tears of others, not just ordinary tears but tears caused by crucial pains. I loosened the knots of the rope an old man uses to climb his palm wine trees, a deed that sent him crashing from the top of the tree to his death. He was my first casualty, the first of eighty-six.”
Father's eyes went wide in shock; he felt like screaming and running out of the chapel at the same time but he managed to still control himself. The brother continued.
“To be honest, only eighty-six murders I have recorded because I started counting three years ago, I have no count of people I killed from fours years ago and earlier.”
“Christ have mercy! Oh God!” Father John-Bosco made the sign of the cross thrice and shook his head.
“I have never tasted alcohol in my entire life, but I always get this tipsy feeling like I am drunk, and the only thing that stops this feeling is when I see the blood of people I kill. Father, I have travelled to many states just to kill people for my body to stay together. The last casualty was a nursing mother of a two-week old baby whose husband was yet to see their son because he is yet to return from an outside job.”
“When was that?” Father asked curiously.
“Few hours ago. At about 2am today or thereabout.”
“God of heaven!” he held his already throbbing head and breathed heavily.
“She pleaded with me to spare her life for the sake of her little baby, I already agreed to let her live but the tipsy feeling aroused immediately and I could not help but drive a six-inch nail into her head with my claw hammer, then pulled off all of her teeth to satisfy myself.”
“Did you hurt the baby? Tell me you did not.” Father John-Bosco's head became twice its size as he began to shiver.
“I would not have harmed him if only he had pleaded with me, unfortunately he could not talk. I flung him throw the window from the three storey building and left the house.”
Tears rolled from Father's eyes and his lips trembled as he began to speak.
“I have never seen a human being like this ever since I was born. God have mercy! ”
The brother resumed crying again, very loud this time and it was so sincere to the physical eyes.
“Father, can God forgive me? The baby was shattered into pieces and that scene touched my heart. Father, I want to change, even if God can just forgive and kill me, I will be okay. Please Father, I ...” he cried even louder and fell on the ground.

Father John-Bosco composed himself to handle the delicate case carefully. He began to speak, this time in a clear voice.
“First of all, I want you to understand that you are not the worse sinner. People you are better than have returned to God countless times, and most of them are preachers of the gospel as we speak. The most important thing is that you come with a contrite heart and ready to completely desist the sinful life. After giving your life to Christ, the next step is for me to take you to the police where you will report yourself. From there we will know the next steps to take.”
“I have not had this calmness that I am feeling inside of me now in the last eleven years. Father, please let us do just as you say.
“Good. First things first. You must be remorseful, full of regrets and self-reproach for your heart to be fully prepared to receive Christ. How do you feel now?”
“Tipsy!”
“Wait, what?!”
“You heard me.”
“No no.. don't do this please..no no!”

A shrill cry of pain from Father John-Bosco sent old Catechist Alloy and the minor seminarians running to the chapel. They arrived in less than a minute and met their parish priest lying completely dead in a pool of his blood that had soaked his white cassock, his throat slit open and his eyes plucked out.

(Lights fade)


©️ Ephraim, Nov. 26, 2021.

AVERAGE LIFE

The last paper for the final year class came to an end after two hours. The beaming students trooped out of the class amidst loud cheering and ovation from junior colleagues. Dressed in matching outfits redesigned with different colour markers, the fresh graduates converged behind the department to celebrate, and the next minute witnessed a water fight that left none of them unwet. Later that night, they gathered at a pub. The clinking and toasting of glasses to better days ahead, flashlights from cameras and soft music playing in the background triggered the ambiance until they could no longer control their emotions. The Twenty-three year Ejike was the first to breakdown in tears when asked to give a speech. He had been the class representative from first to final year. He composed himself and wiped his eyes before he began to speak slowly.
“This is the day I ever wanted to see come to a reality, even though I now wish it came a bit later than this. The five years we stayed together have been nothing but a pure rollercoaster, even though some of us left halfway through the journey. I salute your doggedness to stay strong and fight to the end. Now we can finally admit that the tassel is worth the hassle. As fate would have it, we part ways today for good. I wish and pray that we stay in touch, distance notwithstanding. Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Today, I say goodbye to my family and …”
He was about to say something else when tears rolled from his eyes and brought his speech to an abrupt end. The mates consoled him and led him back to his seat. The rest of the night continued with eating and drinking until dawn when the meeting ended. They exchanged warm hugs and prayers for each other before they dispersed for home. Six months after their graduation, Ejike did his clearance and was mobilized for the compulsory one-year duty to his fatherland. During the service days, he had great plans to save enough for the rainy days, despite the little responsibilities that had begun to heap on his head as the first son. Contrary to his plans, the bills to settle were more than his wallet. To this, he found himself struggling to get by in the community secondary school where he served. Reality finally dawned on him weeks after he concluded the service. He spent the first two months submitting his credentials online to different companies with a feeling of optimism. The promises and assurances from the people whom he could count on catalyzed his hope of securing a good job immediately, not until pressure from family members overshadowed his patience in the third month. He found himself walking from one company to another with hard copies of his curriculum vitae neatly folded in files and clasped under his armpit. The move later seemed futile months later when he did not receive an invitation from any of the fifteen companies that promised to call him for interview. When the responsibilities and needs increased, he resorted to a little business with the help of a loan from a cater-cousin. The clothes he sold in front of his house was a hand-to-mouth business that could barely cater for him; he had little or no gain in some materials he sold. Comments from friends and family members were enough for him to know that his physical appearance had become a little better than a mentally unstable man. It took a short time for him to realize that he had slowly nosedived into frustration and depression. Two months in the clothes business, he ran into an old schoolmate at the market. Now a busty fat woman with a strong smell of an expensive perfume, her appearance looked much better than Ejike who looked shabby. They exchanged pleasantries and the next minute they were lost in a hearty chatter. All through the minutes they conversed, Amanda stylishly threw her hands in the air, occasionally for Ejike to notice the shiny ring gracing her fourth finger. A lot had changed in the space of two years.
“Congratulations, Amy.” Ejike finally granted her wish afterthought.
“Thank you. How is life treating you?”
On a normal day, Ejike would have feigned to be comfortable, but he felt he had grown past that.
“Horrible, very horrible.” he replied and bit his lips, sweat drops hanging on his face.
“You will be fine. Just trust in God.”
“As always.” he forced a smile and patted the cheek of the sleeping baby in her arms.
“Please give me your contact. I will talk to my husband about you. He is a staff in a construction company, and I am very sure he would be of help.”
“I will be very grateful.”
From his tone, it was obvious that he had lost all hope and was only pushing on with faith. They exchanged contact numbers and parted. Ejike felt renewed and hope alive again, Amanda wholeheartedly sorry for a brilliant mate facing bad days.
“Truly, what we deserve and what we get is never in balance.” she shook her head as she entered her car and drove home.

A phone call the next Saturday evening was enough to salvage Ejike's situation for the meantime. He met with Amanda's husband, who took his credentials and promised to send feedback. True to his word, he did phone again two days later with good news that surprised Ejike. The company had agreed to take him; he was fully qualified and fit for the job, but the manager needed a grease.
“Ejike Sampson, my wife told me everything about you and I feel bad that someone like you should pass through all these. You see, you are not the only one in the struggle to get this job. My colleagues are also in the race to get their persons there, and I would not want you to miss it. I also did pay my way in; it is normal here. If the finance is the problem, I do not mind paying for you, then you repay me with your first three months salary and a little interest.”
Amanda's husband was honest with him. Ejike had no choice but to agree to the terms, and that was it. An oral interview was done a week later, and he resumed work the next month as a clerk after closing down the clothes business that had made him a debtor in all parts of the market. The first two months in the job was the worse period of his life. He became a shadow of himself; his salary went to Amanda's husband. Ejike looked older than his age when he finally cleared the debt. By this time, families and friends had lost all hope in him and were already talking behind his back. The fourth-month salary was the first he received. He used it to settle the cater-cousin who loaned him money for the clothes business and was ready to start life afresh. Unfortunately, the construction company became bankrupt two weeks into the fifth month and had to terminate and dismiss all contract staff, including Amanda's husband.
Ejike felt the whole world dropped on his head heavier than it ever did in the past. His rent expired that same month. Despite the fact that his ill luck and misfortune were seen all over him, his plea for the landlord to bear with him fell on deaf ears. Pa Nedu pasted an eviction notice on Ejike's door the next week. He had a month to vacate the house. A discombobulated Ejike met with his pastor the next morning and explained his plight to him.
“There is more to this. I will organize a three-day deliverance for you. Things will surely fall in place for you.” Pastor Phillip consoled him.
“Thank you, pastor. But I would not mind doing a menial job for the meantime, pending when it pleases God to help me.”
“Brother Ejike, you are too big for menial jobs. Come around tomorrow, by then I must have contacted friends for any available job. Do have a nice day and God bless you.” he pressed the bell for the next person to come in.

The next day was just one of those days. Ejike went very early to the church, feeling pessimistic. Inside the pastor's office, there sat a lanky woman with big spectacles. They replied to his greeting with a nod and continued with the chatter. Pastor Phillip finally gestured at her to pause.
“Mrs Helen, here is Ejike I told you about.”
She took a quick glance at Ejike and turned back to the pastor.
“Everything is just as I explained.” the pastor added.
“I understand” she replied and turned to Ejike “do you have your credentials with you?”
“No, I did not come with them.”
“Not like it is needed anyway.”
This was a relief to Ejike who had become sick of carrying the papers that were almost useless to him at the moment.
“I am the assistant comptroller in a parastatal, but I have a private business that takes my time. So here is the deal: you cover for me, and we take equal halves of the salary.”
The happening seemed too fast for Ejike, but he played along with rapt attention.
“Note that the allowances and bonuses remain mine.” she added and gazed at his face to see his reaction.
“Fair.” he replied weakly.
“Since you two are okay with the terms, I wish you the best.” Pastor Phillip dismissed the meeting with a smile on his face.
Ejike joined the woman in her car as she drove to the office. On their way, she explained some things in details.
“Young man, I hope you know that the risk I want to take is because of the relationship I have with pastor Phillip, your referee. I pray you do not mess up.”
She looked too mature and advanced judging by her appearance, but the words she spoke to Ejike were opposite.
“Make sure you do not step beyond your boundaries there and only do what you are asked to do. There are a lot of benefits to enjoy if you behave yourself.”
Ejike smiled and nodded to all her words until they arrived at the complex. A storey building that looked somewhat dilapidated. She took him round the offices and introduced him to some colleagues. To his greatest surprise, no eyebrows were raised when she informed them of her plans with Ejike. Instead, they praised her for being a sharp lady.
“Deb, please help me show him what to do before oga comes.” she pleaded with a young who seemed like the closest to her.
“That reminds me! Is oga aware?” Debs whispered.
“Yes yes! For your information, he is oga's brother. Oga travelled out of the country eight years ago, two years before you were employed.”
The shock on Deb's face left her muted.
“Just do as I have asked, I will settle you by month end.” she hurriedly dashed out, leaving behind a novice Ejike who had been silent all along.
The colleagues were friendly and playful. It took less than an hour for Ejike to get along with them. At noon, they went on break and the noise in the office almost made Ejike deaf. He did the day's job a little above perfect for a beginner, and the colleagues commended him.

The dark part of Ejike's life finally met with glims. The end of the first month brought light to Ejike once more. The agreement with Mrs Helen went as planned. He paid his rent and bought new clothes to change his look. Things were beginning to fall in place for him. The same thing happened in the second and third month. Then there came a new story in the fourth month when Mrs Helen invited Ejike to her house after one Friday.
“You see, I have worked in this firm for thirty years, by the grace of God I would be retiring in five years. My son wants me to join him in the States, and I would not be needing the pension. How about you pay me a certain amount for the management board to wipe my details from the system and replace it with yours, have you imagined how glorious it would be for a young man of your age to start receiving the pension and still have energy to work?”
It sounded like a fair deal to Ejike. He agreed to buy her spot in the firm.
“How much is it?”
“One million naira. No negotiation.”
He noticed the sense of finality in her reply.
“Accepted.”

He talked to pastor Phillip about it that evening, and he accepted too.
“Opportunity knocks but once.” he advised him.
Ejike took a long-term loan from different friends and finally paid Mrs Helen the next month. The replacement was done smoothly, and colleagues at work congratulated him. Just as Mrs Helen had told him, she travelled out of the country at the end of the year, but continued with the salary slashing with him as usual. The months rolled by and Ejike prayed earnestly every day for the remaining four years to come sooner than later.

At the end of the third year, the government sent supervisors to the firm. Assessment was done, and a lot of corrupt and underperforming workers were relieved of their jobs, including Mrs Helen, who was now Ejike Sampson. For him, this was the biggest blow and surviving it would take a miracle and the grace of God. On the day they received the letter of termination, Ejike felt his head became twice its normal size. He was lost in deep thought as he struggled to find his way back home. He unknowingly strayed into the middle of the busy road. A loud screeching of a car from behind and a curse from the driver revived his touch with the surrounding.
“Get out of the road, old man!”
Ejike jumped to the pedestrian walkway, where he paused and rested his body against a parked car. It was from the tinted windscreen that he saw the strands of grey hairs all over his head and jaw.
“What next?” he muttered to himself to confirm his sanity, “What next? What next?!”
His phone vibrated inside his pocket. He checked and saw a text message from his bank. It was to wish him a blissful thirtieth birthday.
“The journey is still far, Ejike.” he reminded himself.


Ephraim Reuben Peter
Statistics Department
Faculty of Physical Sciences
University of Calabar