₦airaland Forum

Smartb0y:
His last statement " just marry right" shows he has no idea what he's talking about.

I wonder where he got the idea one can marry "right" .
You can never truly know a person especially a woman.

If the Grace of God isn't on that man, he's a goner.
He will die early, that's for sure.

Anyone that's interested in marriage should just make up their mind,for better or worse as it is said.

The dude is delusional I must say.

I have to disagree with you on this.

All what he wrote in his post can be true in anyone's marriage on the condition he highlighted at the end of his post
"just marry right".

At the bolded, what then is the use of redpill knowledge for a man who intends to get married if he's still going to end up the same way as someone without redpill knowledge?

If you don't support marriage, that's fine, but don't deny the fact that many men still marry right and are happy in their marriages.

Marrying right is a very achievable possibility, and it's not based on luck, but on smart decision making, guided by the redpill.

The concept of Marriage in itself is not the reason why many men have miserable marriages or unhappy, but the poor uninformed choices the made on who they married.

Any man can enjoy marriage
Just marry right

helinues:
Sex sex sex

What were You expecting when you entered the romance section, and clicked on a topic about sex?

opeyy:
Lol....this is NOT entirely true. I'm speaking from experience.

Lol... Oya share your experience

Cheasystickylov:
hi hmmmm, thank you so.much. can we talk briefly ? Thanks

Sure. I'll mail you soon

Cheasystickylov:
OP Please kindly read my post in the family section-Please My Marriage ! Advice Please . I do sincerely crave your advice ASAP. A brother is confused. I have also sent you an email request

Hi cheasystickylov, I have written the article that could help you save your marriage on this thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/7218055/how-revive-sex-sexless-marriage#114544552

Sorry I wasn't able to write it since, my laptop had some issues, and typing on a phone is not my thing.

I hope the article helps your marriage.
Hope you're doing good

This is a follow up thread that explains what can be done to revive a sexless marriage resulting from the issue dicussed in this thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/7164615/costly-mistake-many-men-make

If you're yet to have a child in your marriage and you've already made the mistake highlighted in the thread above, Don't make your life miserable by getting that lady pregnant.

When children become involved in a marriage, it becomes another kettle of fish and the solution I'll reveal in this write-up becomes difficult to apply.

The first step is to Separate from your wife for now, if possible.
Rent a separate apartment or single room.
If you can't afford to live separately, then Live your life in the house like a happy bachelor and take your chances with any decent lady that shows genuine attraction for you.

If you feel it's a sin or bad, then just live your life in peace separate from her. Don't talk, call her or send her any money. Take care of your kids, if any, like she doesn't exist.

Withdraw all attention you gave to her.


The next to do is Improve yourself, especially physically and socially.

Hit the gym, lose that added weight you gained during the marriage, start looking fit, dressing sharp, smelling nice.

Go out, meet new people, interact with other beautiful ladies, attend corporate events and take sharp pictures with beautiful ladies you meet there and post on your social media accounts.

Your wife will surely see them. They will stalk you through friends or social media and may probably know where you live, and may ignore or spite you if she's financially ok by herself.

Don't worry give it time, except she's cheating, she would start getting jealous when she sees you with ladies better than her.

After sometime, She will come to beg you or try to force her way back into your life and fight the ladies she sees you with.

No gree! Ignore her.

Continue with your new life like she doesn't matter even if she involves your parents or try to guilt trip you by telling you that you're trying to runaway from your responsibility as a man, or that you're cheating on her.

She may tell lies to your kids to either make them disregard you and side with her or to make them appeal to your emotions so you can come back home or start giving her attention.

After she has realized that begging or forcing herself back into your life isn't working, she'd use the last weapon in her cleave which is seduction.

She will try to seduce you and use sex to win you back.

This is now where you have all the cards in your hands because Instead of you chasing her for sex or trying to negotiate her desire for sex, she is the one now chasing you for it.

Nothing stimulates a woman's desire for sex like competition anxiety.

Ever wondered why hanging out with the friend or sister of a lady who once rejected you or showed no interest suddenly tries to get your attention back? Suddenly starts to show interest and Even offer her self to you sex in order to win back your attention?

Competition anxiety.

Competition anxiety works because females are loyal to their feelings.

If something makes her feel good, then it's right, even if it logically wrong.
If something makes her feel bad, then it's wrong even if it's logically right.

Females love things that makes them feel good, and hate things that makes them feel bad, irrespective of whether that thing is logically or morally right or wrong.

This is why women don't take responsibility for their bad actions, because it makes them look and feel bad.
A woman would do anything to avoid anything that makes her feel bad.
This is also why they hardly approach men they desire directly. They don't like rejection, which makes them feel bad.

When your wife sees that other women better than her desire you, and they're now getting your attention that she has lost, it makes her feel like she's loosing out on a good thing that other women are getting from you.

Because females are inherently selfish, and wants all good things for themselves, she starts feeling regret.

Regret is a bad feeling for women, and they'd do anything to avoid it.

Her trying to avoid the bad feelings that regret brings, will generate in her the desire to get you back, and this time, keep you to herself using sex, so she doesn't lose you to other women.

If you like, you can accept her back into your life when you detect her desire for sex with you, but you must make clear to her the terms for your attention. E.g. fixing any bad character she has, attend to sexual needs etc.

or you simply discard her, get your divorce proceedings started, and done, live the best version of yourself, and get another good woman who has genuine desire for you, to marry.

If she doesn't come back to you, then she has made the decision easier for you.

Talking to your wife about your sexual frustrations, or visiting a counselor or therapist or involving her parents or religious head to talk to her about it will simply not generate genuine sexual desire from her.
It will only disgust her more.

The more you chase a lady who has no interest in you for sex, the more she resists you. Her being married to you doesn't change this.

Genuine desire can't be negotiated, it is only stimulated.
Stimulated through competition anxiety and\or generic physical attributes, a healthy masculinity and game.


However, accepting back your wife on your terms doesn't mean you should stop maintaining or improving your physical appearance and social life.

It will only end up making her lose her attraction for you, and stimulating that desire for you again becomes near impossible.

Always keep her on her toes by making her see coverly that other ladies better than her desire you sexually, and that you're willing to dump her if she misbehaves, whether there's children or not.

The insecurity of your commitment to her will make her sit up and do all she can to please you so she doesn't lose you to other women.

There's nothing more painful to a woman than loosing the commitment of high value man to other women.



Also, to be able to gain absolute control over your woman, and indeed any lady, isolate her from any group she belongs to, and make yourself her only source of attention and validation.

I'ld explain.

Have you observed that whenever a lady wants to have a man all to herself, & under her control, she gradually isolates him from any group he belongs to (family, friends, club etc), and makes sure he spends all his free time with her?

This is usually done by her through her constant nagging about how the man is not always giving her enough attention or spending time with her and if present, kids.

Unwittingly, most men out of love or sense of responsibility, succumb to this and gradually withdraws from his relatives and friends, to focus his attention on the lady or his own family.

This makes him isolated and makes the woman his only source of attention and therefore validation.

From this isolation, the female predatory instinct is ignited, and with strategic opening and closing of her legs, manipulates the man to do all her bidding.

He does her bidding because she is now the only person that makes him feel relevant (validation).

If he doesn't do things to please her, she withdraws her attention to him and he feels useless as there's no other person or group that would give him that attention as a result of his importance and useful to them.

Applying this same process on any lady can yield mind blowing control over her.
I'm speaking from experience.

Why? You may ask.

The answer is simple

Female herd mentality.

A woman is her group.

Any group she finds herself in and she's comfortable with, and the group accepts her, invariably controls her and her decisions.

Because they provide her with 2 basic needs.

Attention and validation.

A woman's group could be her man, friends, church, social media, family, etc.

Isolate a lady from the attention and validation she gets from any group she belongs to, and be her only source of attention, and you can control her to do the unthinkable for you.

You made the mistake a long time ago and now you're reaping the consequences.

The little sex you're managing now will totally vanish when she gives birth.

Don't make your life miserable by getting that lady pregnant. When children become involved in a marriage, it becomes another kettle of fish.

Separate from your wife for now, if possible, rent a separate apartment or single room. Live your life like a happy bachelor and take your chances with any decent lady that shows genuine attraction for you.

If you feel it's a sin or bad, then just live your life in peace separate from her. Don't send her any money.

Improve yourself, especially physically and socially.
Go out, meet new people, interact with other beautiful ladies.

Your wife will probably know where you live, and may ignore you if she's financially ok by herself.

Don't worry give it time, except she's cheating, she would start getting jealous when she sees you with ladies better than her.

after sometime, She will come to beg you or try to force her way back into your life and fight the ladies she sees you with.
No gree!
Continue with your new life like she doesn't matter even if she involves your parents.

After she has realized that begging or forcing herself back into your life isn't working, she'd use the last weapon in her cleave which is seduction.

She will try to seduce you and use sex to win you back.
This is now where you have all the cards in your hands.
Instead of chasing her for sex or trying to negotiate her desire for sex, she is the one now chasing you for it.

Nothing stimulates a woman's desire for sex like competition anxiety.

Ever wondered why hanging out with the friend or sister of a lady who once rejected you or showed no interest suddenly tries to get your attention back? Suddenly starts to show interest and Even offer her self to you sex in order to win back your attention?

Competition anxiety.

When your wife sees that other women better than her desire you, and they're now getting your attention that she has lost, it will generate the desire to get you back, and this time, keep you to herself using sex, so she doesn't lose you to other women.

If you like you can accept her back into your life when you detect her desire for sex with you or you simply discard her, get your divorce proceedings started, and done, live the best version of yourself, and get another good woman who has genuine desire for you, to marry.

If she doesn't come back to you, then she has made the decision easier for you.

Talking to your wife about your sexual frustrations, or visiting a counselor or therapist or involving her parents or religious head to talk to her about it will simply not generate genuine sexual desire from her.
It will only disgust her more.

Genuine desire can't be negotiated, it is only stimulated.
Stimulated through competition anxiety and\or generic physical attributes, a healthy masculinity and game.

For young men that would want to avoid this kind of bad experience in their marriages, read this thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/7164615/costly-mistake-many-men-make#113528970

Cheasystickylov:
OP Please kindly read my post in the family section-Please My Marriage ! Advice Please . I do sincerely crave your advice ASAP. A brother is confused. I have also sent you an email request

I have read the post and it's a touching one honestly. I deeply sympathize with you.

However, most of the advice given on that thread simply won't work, as you would have discovered because I know you have tried majority of them before bringing the matter to this forum.
Most of those advices are just suggesting ways to negotiate desire from your wife. Advices like talking to your wife or people that will to her about the issue, doing things to please her to win back her heart etc. Will not work.
It's like a guy trying to woo (negotiate) a lady who's not into him to suddenly develop feelings for him. She'd only accept his proposal if he were her best or only option financially, otherwise, he is just wasting his time, and will end up disgusting her more.
Since You're already married, trying to negotiate back her desire will only make her detest you further.

Desire can't be negotiated. However, it can be manipulated because it is based on emotion. Emotions can be triggered, you just have to discover how.

like I said in the article of this thread, there's a way for married men to resolve issues like this, although it's not easy or 100% guaranteed it will work, but hopefully, it will help.

When I'm done with the write-up, I'll mention you on the thread where I will post it.

I will also respond to your mail.

opeyy:
Wow!!! Excellent is an understatement. You should be the Minister for Women Affairs... Lol.
From a female's perspective, I couldn't agree more!

Well done Benee1000 I had to re-join NL just to commend you!

Spiralwedge - mentioning you to read this. Too long to screenshot to you, Lol.

Thanks

gentlegenius:
@ Benee1000,
Have you noticed that almost everyone that complained about your thread being so long are females?
Fact check: If you visit any hospital, healing home, prayer houses, and other places where people with problems normally go to, you will surely find more females than males. The truth is, no other specie of living creatures on earth hates learning like the female gender, and Most of the problems women encounter in this world is caused by their hatred for learning. Most of them are easily deceived by fake pastors, fake prophets, and even the devil because they hate to read and learn from the bible, yet they are claiming to be more religious.
How can a very educative thread like this appear long to someone despite the lessons embeded in almost every paragraph? These kind of people has never read any book from beginning to end in their entire life, and sadly, they might never learn anything all through their life.
Thanks OP for this wonderful and wisdomful write up. Pls if there is any book that you read that inspired you to put up this insightful piece, just recommend it to me and I will download and devour it asap.

You're welcome.

The inspiration for the article came from connecting dots I observed in our society, personal experiences from living with different married couples while growing up, previous relationships and books, especially the Rational Male series by Rollo Tomassi.

Tohsynetita1:
So, how do one who know who they are attracted to sexually?

I have edited the article to answer your question.

angelfallz:
How come marriage sex gets boring, but bf and gf sex that last 4 years+ don't get boring?

A very good and important question.

I have a write up that explains why, which I made as a post on another thread.

Maybe I'll post it as a new thread to engage a wider audience.

WatchYourSix:
This one has married woman who married for the Mrs title, availability, convenience, and financial security....

This is exactly what Benee1000 was sayimg on his thread ....very sweet sermon all men should read


Pastor Oluvan ....this is the reality of many marriages out there... this age is messed up


Jesus said be gentle as dive but be shrewd as the serpent

If you dont go with your street sense and head..scriptures alone will not stop you from marrying these kind of women....

Women that has tasted different dícks and chose the available man for marriage after becoming born again....

..after all, he who finds a wife finds fimds a good thing.....the ops wife is shaa a wife??

God no go let us marry werey...

Sadly, A lot of men are on this table.

Please you can try to edit your post to include the link to that thread.

Thanks

obynzo:
This is the best write up ever. I would have made the worst mistake. I tried to desperately win a girl's affection and it was leading to insults

Thanks.

You should be grateful to her tho. She saved herself and you (unintentionally) from future regrets.
The majority of ladies would just string you on and accept if you're the best available option financially and\or socially.

Never try to win a lady's affection.
Instead,
Make yourself attractive physically, financially and socially. This is what women interpret as sexually attractive
Let them willingly fall in love with you, prove their love through giving and making sacrifices for you no matter how little, irrespective of your financial status,
and finally,
Choose one with the best physical attributes, character and any other qualities you desire in a woman that you can be proud of as your wife.
You will learn to love her with time as she will make it easy for you since she already loves you.

This is the reason why it is a command for men to love their wife in the Bible,
because men are not meant to fall in love with a woman at the beginning of a relationship.
The woman is the one that should fall in love, while the man selects the best from among the women that falls in love with him and then learn to love her in return.

Note: I have edited the article to include the above.

Thanks

[quote author=RIPPLEEFFECT post=113546085]O.P.

I'll buy you that bottle someone promised you.

pm me your account details as soon as you can.

This is incredibly spectacular. You just casually unriddle a major enigma.

This is priceless.

I'm grateful

RIPPLEEFFECT:
O.P.

I'll buy you that bottle someone promised you.

pm me your account details as soon as you can.

This is incredibly spectacular. You just casually unriddle a major enigma.

This is priceless.

Thank goodness, I am equipped!

Wow! Thanks.

Don't know how this pm of a thing on nairaland works, but I'll mention you on a dead thread to give you the details.
Thanks

Oluvan:
A confused mind. You think you can oppose the will of God. It is like saying there's no God. Only a fool does that. And there's no atom of wisdom in the whole counsel above.

If only you know (I pray you don't experience it) the evil and satanic bondage premarital and extramarital sex has brought upon many lives and family.

You're the one with a confused mind rather.

I guess you missed or didn't understand this part of the write-up below.

A lady who genuinely desires you won't even bring the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

If you really read the write-up to understand its message, you'd realize that it places the burden of a 'no sex before marriage relationship' on the man rather than the woman.

ABANGWABOI:
Benee1000



I don't know you but I would find you one day and I would buy you chilled beer..

God bless TRP..

looking forward to that day...lol

Amen!

For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long trap of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.
Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin.

Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive trap, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad, drunk, high, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because females require emotions to enjoy sex .
And Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.
That is, the more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is during sex (legends know this).

Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.
This is why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her emotional.
And If they're already sexually attracted to a man, they will seek an emotional connection with him.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, it means a lady will hardly be able to control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

This means that the burden of keeping a 'no sex before marriage relationship' rests on the man rather than the woman.
Because she already wants it, and can't control her emotions.

Females are called weaker vessels in the Bible not because they're physically weaker than men (women can be as strong as men physically. If woman don gather mind fight you before, you will confirm ).

They're called weaker vessels because they can't control their emotions like men.

Her religious beliefs doesn't change this because It is a fundamental part of what makes her female.

Secondly:
Desire cannot be negotiated or bought. That is, If a lady doesn't sexually desire a man, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot emotionally bond with him because there's no emotional attachment in obligatory sex.

When a lady has sex with a man she sexually desires, there's always a level of emotional fulfilment in her, and attachment to that man.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
This is the reason most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to him.

However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the weaker the strength of this emotional attachment, and the lesser her chances of bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner irrespective of her sexual attraction for him.

A lady who has had several sexual partners will hardly bond emotionally with any man, and is considered too damaged for marriage.
This is why it is important to vet a lady's past, irrespective of her sexual attraction for you.

A lady who cannot attach to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.

To a lady, sex with a man she sexually desires is at opposite ends to the one she does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, and fetishes, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm). There's no stress on the man as just caressing her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, with few minutes of penetration, is enough to open her flood gates (2mins women ). It's how she feels emotionally about him that really matters.

The latter, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and that man go drill her hole taya before him see water, if he sees at all, no matter the size of his drilling rig .
This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie to satisfy himself.
Her own pleasure doesn't matter in a transactional sex.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to clients is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend she loves and is sexually attracted to.
The sex with clients is considered stressful work for her and has to be paid for, after which, she then reaches out to her boyfriend when she wants to rest, feel feminine, and to enjoy the same sex she's trying to rest from, for free! and you wonder, is it not the same sex? No, it's not.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, barely partakes in and simply lies down like a bag of beans while you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud ,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen. You both satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, and after she gives birth to the first child, she will fulfil it only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire.
Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment in obligatory sex, the day a man defaults on his own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day he loses his value and respect to her, including her loyalty to him.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. Peace of mind will be very far from him.
She may even elope with his children.
That is If she doesn't kill him so she can inherit his resources and go be with the man she really desires.

So beware guys. If a lady demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.
Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.
Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious or sexually disciplined one, with you as the only customer.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex.
It is a mindset. There's just public & private sector.
A lady who easily sleeps around (a slut), just lacks sexual discipline, she may or may not be a prostitute.
A man can marry a godly virgin, who is a prostitute to him.

Majority of marriages are just legal / institutionalized prostitution.
The moment the husband faces financial crisis, the wife locks up her shop for security reasons (financial security ).
No emotional attachment, no sentiment.

If you think a womans demand for no sex before marriage in a relationship is borne out righteousness, playfully ask her if she tells soft lies to gain favours or get out of trouble once in a while (All women do this whether religious or not. It's a preinstalled software in their OS ).
If she smiles and tries to explain why, ask her what then is the difference between lying and extra-marital sex if both of them are sin and why she considers one more seriously than the other? and watch her babble without a logical answer.

However, this is the reason.
Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources.
To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.
While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't make a woman automatically sexual towards a man.

A lady who genuinely desires you cannot insist on no sex before marriage, because;
1) She would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.

Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not, because she already wants it.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

She may claim she don't want sex, but will diligently shave the evil forest around her holy temple & wear her best undies before she visits, with the thought of, 'Just In Case' .

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

However, most will just hide this desire, wear clothes & do things to turn you on so that you try to seduce them for sex, pretend that they don't want it with a weak resistance so you don't see them as cheap, but will later direct your odogwu to the entrance of her temple, & whisper harder! Faster!, while moaning spiritual tunes, before she finally wets the bed with 2 liters of cum, vibrating like old Nokia touchlight phone during orgasm .

After the first half, she lays on the bed to rest a little, and to plan how best to initiate the second half,
and the exhausted guy, trying to catch his breath, thinks he just successfully seduced the lady and proudly represented his village people with a man of the match performance like Messi. He has no idea of the manipulation at play .

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection is already playing a lost game and will regret it when whatever won and sustained that woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary (the other side of the coin);

No female proves her love for a man through sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, not even the offering of virginity.
Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

This is because there's a big difference between a wife who sees a man as her lover, and a wife who only sees a man as her husband and father of her children.

One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as he can provide.

One see her duty in the marriage as only to provide sex and take care of the home and children. Anything money for the home is not her concern and solely rests on the husband, as her money is her money.

For the other, all she thinks about is how she can please her lover. She sees her money as their money, and can do anything to support him financially, so he can effectively head the home and happily satisfy her sexual needs.

A woman will hardly stay 2 days beefing her lover in the same house, because his presence always stirs up her desire for romance, making her always push to quickly settle the issue, or she just ignores it and easily forgives him, so she can enjoy her man, and her marriage.

A wife with no emotional attachment to her husband cannot be easily pleased by him no matter his efforts at pleasing her.
Their home is mostly sterile like the atmosphere of a formal office, happy moments are rare, and for little misunderstandings, they can stay quarrelling for years, living like flatmates and end up enduring the marriage.

Objectively observe marriages around you and you will discover that many couples are not truly happy, and just silently enduring it either for the sake of their children, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs, social status, or financial dependence, and they don't even know why their marriage is like that despite efforts to spice it up.

The men either neglected or were not aware that sexual attraction from a woman should come first before considering her other qualities for a relationship or marriage, Because it seems a direct opposite to what they're taught by their religion that sex before marriage is sin.

They didn't know there's a difference between sexual attraction and sex, and that a lady is first a female, before her religious belief.

For those still unmarried, here's what you can do to avoid making this mistake in choosing a marriage partner.

Never try to win a lady's affection.

Instead, make yourself attractive physically, financially and socially.
This is what women interpret as sexually attractive.
If you're high-value, many women will find you sexually attractive and codedly come around you to flash varying intensities of green lights.
However, you must be able to decipher between women who want you for attention and those who want you for affection.

Attention just wants your money, gain relevance through association, and sex.
Affection wants these same things but also wants your leadership and emotional connection.

Remember, women will seek an emotional connection with a man they're genuinely sexually attracted to.

But also know that a woman's sexual attraction for a man she has no emotional connection to doesn't last long, and easily fades.
So you must act fast when you notice a woman is sexually attracted to you, if she fits other criteria you seek in a woman for a wife.
She will make it easy for you to toast her, that is if she doesn't toast you sef.
She may do small shakara, but will never stress you. If her shakara is becoming too much, withdraw your attention from her and watch her start toasting you back .

However, once you've established an emotional connection with her (what women interpret as relationship), her sexual attraction for you doesn't easily fade.

But remember also that since emotions opens up a woman sexually, she's going to really want sex with you.
So be prepared to resist if you want a chaste relationship.
However, once sex is involved, she becomes emotionally attached to you and becomes very clingy if she was a virgin and/or if you can skilfully make her orgasm and sqirt.

Don't chase women, rather Let them naturally fall in love with you and prove their love by willingly giving and making sacrifices for you no matter how little, irrespective of your financial status.
Women hardly give their money and make sacrifices for a man they don't love, even inside marriage.

Then, choose the one with the best physical attributes, character and any other qualities you desire in a woman that you can be proud of as your wife.
You will learn to love her with time as she will make it easy for you since she already loves you.

This is why it is a command for men to love their wife in the Bible, because men are not meant to fall in love with a woman at the beginning of a relationship.
It is the woman that should fall in love first, while the man selects the best from among the women that falls in love with him and then learn to love her in return.

Women are then commanded to submit to their husbands In all things because they mostly marry who is ready rather than who they love due to their biological clock or greed, and will not willingly submit to a man they don't love, especially in sex, money, and respect, if that man later faces financial difficulties.

Instead of loving who they marry, most men fall in love with ladies because of big ass and boobs, chase them using money until she gives in, and then they marry the love of their lives.
Only to painfully discover later that they subscribed to legal prostitution, while they watch the wife of their poor but happy neighbor who did his due diligence before marriage spread their bedsheets every morning in preparation for the next champions league match

Marry a lady whose fertility and emotional attachment is highly guaranteed (young virgin), has wisdom to raise your children properly, can manage a home with any resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

A lady's sexuality, personality and investments (financial & emotional) in you, is the precision Instrument you should use in your calculations to prove her worth for your commitment.

However, dealing with females is always a gamble. While you can predict the odds of an outcome through your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.
The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.

NB:
Many men will try to deny the truth of this article, because they know they've already made the mistake highlighted in it, and are silently suffering the consequences, but their ego won't allow them admit it.

quisera:
Is there no one else??!!!!

Troy

Kaymicheal852:
So ,I have been discussing redpill my uncle and he told me his girlfriend have been very supportive and submissive,and she is everything he wants in a woman


She is loyal as well but she always says she won't cheat or being and stay loyal only if he gets tired of her or decide to dump her that's only when the relationship can end


He means that he doesn't think she will try to hold on to him if he try and dump her ,that she will walk away easily ,and I think that's a big red flag ,if she ltruly wants you why will she walks away that easily

I'll be glad if someone could enlight me more on this

Women are not loyal to men. They're loyal only to their feelings. They're loyal to how a man makes them feel, and not to the man himself.
Any man who can provide such feelings for them at any moment in time owns them for that moment and for as long as he continues to be a source of the feeling.
Hence the saying, she's not yours, just your turn.
As long as that man remains a source or provider of that feeling, they will keep coming back to him even if he dumps them.
However, when a man ceases to or becomes incapable of evoking such feelings in her, even if he wants her, she'd leave, unless she's bound to the man through marriage, children or finances, which may not even be enough to stop her from leaving him.
How quickly she'd leave is anyone's guess.
It's not an issue about red flags.
It is what it is.

sajmark:
They said most of us don't know what the term SIMP means... then they put on their aprons, go to the kitchen to please their women.

When a person cannot identify key words in a definition to know the boundaries where that definition applies, then that person doesn't understand that definition.

You're just ego invested in your flawed belief about what a simp means, which is why you're unable to unlearn it and learn the true meaning.

The key words in that definition of a simp are,
Way too hard, going above and beyond, and every need .

I'm doing this not because of you, but for other readers willing to learn.

Pukkalolo:
From what I was told, my grand father never go into the kitchen to cook for the family when his wives were healthy and present...

My father never go into the kitchen to cook for the family when his wife(my mum) is healthy and present.

In the few cool relationships I have had, I never enter the kitchen to cook for my girl when she is healthy and present....

And despite that, our relationship with our women were fantastic and fulfilling..


When you cook for a girl who is healthy and present, she'll give you the compliment she'd normally give the nice guy: "awnn, you're so sweet. You're so caring."

From my experience, If you're yet to sleep with a girl, that's the worst kind of compliment you can ever get from her.

To be honest, if you're still wooing a girl, and she gives you a compliment like, "awnn, you're so sweet. You're so caring," ....that a sign that you're doing something wrong. That's a sign you're exhibiting "simp behavior"

In my earliest interactions with a girl I have interest in, I actually want her to think I'm that cocky guy who doesn't just give a shit.

I don't want her to think I'm a sweet and caring guy because that'd decrease my chance of dating her and it would increase my chance of being put in the friend zone. When you try to act the sweet and caring guy, you are setting yourself up to be manipulated and used by her. Remember most girls are highly manipulative and selfish.

Ok, back to the 'cooking' talk.

Please, take this from me: It's of no use cooking for the house when your woman is healthy and present (and not occupied with any urgent stuff); It's like bringing sand to the beach.

I know you're trying to be romantic by cooking for her, but there are other better "masculine and manly" ways of being romantic.

If that's what you believe then that's fine.

Well My own father and grand dad did cook on some days for the family and it ended up bringing the family together.

My post was initially against the simp tag.
It is against someone coming up here and say cooking for his family makes him a simp? Nah, that's wrong.
Reread my post again and note the key word 'automatically'.

Also, as for the bolded, I'm sorry but I can't take it from you because your reality is different from mine.
If cooking will destabilize your home, then avoid it. However, it brings joy in my own home.
If cooking for your family will make your woman call you a nice guy, then avoid it.
My cooking for my family reminds my family that I'm still human.
Getting a compliment from your woman after cooking, like awwn, you're so caring, you're a nice guy, or a good husband, is way different from compliments like 'i can't believe Odogwu entered kitchen today and cooked rice!', or 'today that chairman decided to cook is a miracle'
One is given to a man in position of power, and the other in position of servitude.

I cook for my family on special occasions like father's day or on my birthdays.
I wish I could invite some Nairalanders to experience it someday.

Many people today are scared of getting married because of the many bad marriages and divorce cases witnessed all around them, forgetting however, that many other people enjoy theirs.

With all these discouragement about men cooking occasionally in their homes, no one is yet to bring up a real life experience about how it scattered his home. Just assumptions about what might happen, all negative assumptions.

I am bringing my own view based on my experiences, and that of others I happen to be close to their families.

I'm not disputing that things can't go wrong if a man doesn't apply wisdom in this kind of things, but then c'mon.

people are just too scared of trying out things that could bring happiness in their homes if done right because of the fear of failure.
what's then is the essence of the redpill wisdom, if you're too scared to apply it?

Even Rollo cooks for his family.

Just do what's best for your family.

Omini247:
Oga roasting and berbecue na different stuff
haven't you heard that the man at the berbecue is the nearest thing to a king... in the 4walls of inside kitchen a redpiller has little or nothing to do there but u no go gree

Cooking is any activity that involves using heat to prepare food.
Kindly check out the meaning of cooking from any dictionary or the internet to clear your doubt.
We learn every day.

@ the bolded, first time hearing it

ubunja:
alright.
generalizations are fine because the majority determines the rules. If 8 out of 10 women like pie, then we'll say all women like pies. Why? Because statistically speaking, a man has more chances of meeting one of the 8 who like pie than one of the 2 who don't like pie.
Even yourself you'd have to agree that your wife is an outlier, not many women will do what she has done for you and chances of guys here meeting one like her are not very many. Hence we stand by "don't do it". Look at your married friends, I doubt even those men around your circle have women like yours, what more of guys out here.

P/S does your wife by any chance have a younger sister? Lol

P/S P/S if I was in your shoes I'd still not cook.

ubunja:
people are too fast with the simp label. I never throw it around cause it muddies the waters. One wrong act doesn't make you a simp but does take away from your frame. Why not take your family out and make that a happy occasion.

How I judge these things is like this: What has your woman done for you that is traditionally your role and it was fun for the whole family? Do such events also happen Or it's always you crossing the gender roles.

The easiest way to live is to always match a woman's energy. Or give back less than what she's giving.

For the bolded, Fortunately yes. Things like paying the children school fees, buying some household stuff, funding a vacation, getting me a car etc with her own money. She even washes my car sometimes too.
I know how happy I feel whenever she does some of these traditionally male roles in the family, when she can.
It doesn't hurt to match her energy whenever I can and want to.

However, I understand your point.

People and circumstances are different though, which is why I hardly advocate for strict generalization in any argument.

Like you said,the easiest way to live is to always match a woman's energy, Or give back less than what she's giving.

Omini247:
Picture those Olden days movies like IGODO, how would you feel where you saw pete edochie in the kitchen arranging fire wood or cutting pepper?

Depends on the individual.

How do you feel when you visit your dad and he wants to cook for you? Like roasting a bush meat?
Does it make you see him as a simp or does it increase your respect and admiration for him?

Forget oh, some of these old grandpas we pictured as hardcore patriarch were actually some of the most romantic men in their days.

Every thing na just wisdom.

ubunja:
just say you want to cook. Cause most women would enjoy more a meal at a restaurant than their man's cooking.

Lol Ubunja, it's not about whether I want to cook or not. I hardly ever cook for my family, but in the rare case I do, the rave, fun, happiness and fun the family experiences, even days after the cooking event, is very different from enjoying a meal at a restaurant.

Does that make me simp?

Many married women I interact with often discuss the fun in their homes when their husbands cooks, and would prefer this experience than eating at a restaurant.
These are women who literally worship their husbands.

The purpose of the gesture is not to relieve the wife of any duty, as she will still partake in virtually every part of the cooking process, but for the fun of it. Everyone still knows their roles.

Some of the most fond memories I have today were of my dad and grand dad cooking for the family. We still talk about it in the family till today.

Like I said earlier, it just entails a man applying wisdom on when to do this, the rate and the type woman married to.

Smartb0y:
Happy wife, happy life right?

Lol...
Happy person, happy life.

Martinez39s:
Avoid arguing with mischievous blue-pill fellows. They are not worth the time.

If you do not want to engage in an argument concerning some topics on this thread, that's fine.
However, don't discourage people who have opposing opinions from engaging on a debate in this thread.
People have learnt a lot through debates in this thread including you.

Smartb0y:
Do you have any idea what the female imperative is all about?

Maybe start there before you come on here to comment .
You're what is called a male feminist.

You're still yet to debunk the reality of what my post was about.

However, let's assume I don't have any idea what the female imperative is all about, what then is the female imperative about and link it up to debunking my post.

What is the relevance of the male feminist tag in this debate?

Smartb0y:
He might as well wash the dishes once in a while to show that he's still in control

Why shift the goal post!
Did my reply mention anything about dish washing? or control?

Don't just make a post because you want to appeal to your ego as a man. Be realistic.

Rules of Life are not written in stone. Every action demands wisdom.