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lol

that was then

Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.


Bar Joke
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

True Fan


Recently, I was at a professional football game supporting my favorite team. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".

I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."

"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.

He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."


Logical Conclusion


A biology class student conducted an experiment on what would happen to a grasshopper if its legs were taken off.

He pulled off one of its legs and yelled 'hop!', and the grasshhoper hopped. Then he took another leg and yelled 'hop!' and the grasshopper hopped. Then he took all of its legs and yelled 'hop!' but the insect did not hop. He yelled again, but the insect did not hop.

So he came to the conclusion that when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it will become deaf.

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right , but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it,

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it, but I'm not 100%,

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello, "

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple, It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo , you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."


LAWYER'S JOKE

After 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was, God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

where is my kini?

;d

help me ask am

u shut up,

lol

na because u no fit talk jooo

who do think tell d better jokes,

i mean d most interesting joke cracker amond d two

thankx for the compliment

these guys are just too loved by the fans,

brilla fm
sport 360 degree

do u think bosso would have performed better than siasia in the u20 world cup based on the poor performance of Nigeria in the world cup,

Bosso said, if he was allowed to take the boys to egypt, he would never loose 3 matches our of 4,



the under 20 team of nigeria lead by coach samson siasia managed to win just 1 match from the 4 played,

Nigeria played 4 matches but only won 1 and loss 3,

the question is, if the Nigeria NFF had allow Bosso to coah the team to the world cup, do u think Nigeria would have performed better,

and if u think Nigeria wont perform any better, do u think Bosso can loose 3 match from the total of 4 played?

lol

Should Nigerian Ladies Remain as Virgins

Hello everyone, To my own best of knowledge I believe virginity is what ladies should be proud of and keep in memories that they actually got married as a virgin but for recent days virgins are a shamed even to tell their friend they are virgins and that is a great problem in the society.

write ur story out and transform it to script, from there u can seek help

Spend ur holiday in dubai with ur family and friends

Experience Dubai, where East meets West and old meets new. In less than a century it has been transformed from a small fishing village to a modern vibrant city where celebrities mingle with the crowds and the Dubai skyline competes to be the world’s biggest, brightest and tallest.

From the towering sail-shaped Burj Al Arab hotel to the mysterious gold and spice souks, there's no better way see Dubai’s breathtaking views and attractions than from the King of all sightseeing vehicles, an open-top, double-decker Big Bus.

Your tour ticket offers you double value; in addition to the acclaimed City Route, you can also take the Beach Route at no extra cost!,


Jibmat Travels & Tour agency
Suite A35 Ansar Plaza, Maitama extension
Mpape
Abuja

lol

Fuji star Wasiu Alabi pasuma wondwer release another banging album title feel it,

go get ur copy now,

i just came back from hybernation with sound and solid script,


any good produce and sponsor will be glad inn here,

the script is not for sell, strictly on proffesional business based on solid agreement,

ur opinion

i think we should start comparing it this way to see if nigeria as achieved aNYTHING YET,



UK AT 49?

GERMANY @ 49

are u quoting Qur'an on bible?

cos i dont understand one thing here