@op
This is quite sad.
You must be flipping upset at the moment,
It's always easy to give advise when u're not in the position
You have to hink logicly
What do you want to do as the man is ur husband.
You can't trust him as there are signs that he's touching your child if not even sleeping with her
He's a demented man though
sleeping with ur own child
To leave him would be the best solution so as not to put ur daughter in much more danger that she is
becos if he eventually does fully sleep with her then he future is finished,
she would be scar for life and may never have her own children becos he's damaged her womb.
Go and get the child checked out,
How u would resolve ur problem withn the man is what i don't have a solution 2,
Somethings are just 2 complicated to give an ans 2,
Sorry i wasn't able to help

let's remember always that your problem isn't the worst at all
God works in mysterious ways.
when God says it's your time nobody can stop it.
from all the millions of people living in the slumps those were the people picked.
let's pray that we get divinely contacted to our futures.(AMEN)
Am so happy for both of them.

@ op
i laughed so much at the thread
but seriously though that topic is very sensitive
when i first read your post
i taught it's the mentality btw people living in naija and naija living in the u.k are very differently
i remembered when i was living in naija and my ex use to make a statement when he visits naija
that this naija people have started
i used to grow very angry as my blood pumping but now i use those word very often
i've found most naija's very selfish and self-centred.
people in the u.k haven't got that selfish mentality becos the country doesn't even allow you becos it's part of the society.
the country makes you treat each other with respect for one another knowingly or unknowingly,
mentality matters a lot

@OP
Guys that ask that sort of question makes me very mad
first question:Are u not a man
what sort of silly question are you asking
The girl dump your sorry backside for 9 good month and u're here asking what you should do,
You should know the answer to that question except you're either very silly or dumb like your ex figures you are,

Come back and tell us the answer and stop waiting our precious time here with your dumb question


Am actually very irritated with the op @ the dumb question

Girl wey no give you respect after going round the block she now feels that you want the left-over like a dog,

Is not how long u out for previously but how you were treated while in the relationship.

@ op
omega25red has nailed the answer
she was wrong to have sent the text but you should understand her frustration and stupidity
stupidity in the sense that why didn't she get cover to make those calls
Anyway that aside u're the man n head and always resolve matters no matter how difficult or easy it is
2 wrongs don't make it right
Abi the chick don tire you n u wan make she waka.
Don't turn this little misunderstanding into anything big.

@Op
If those are the only reasons u've stated
i'ill advise you personal to stick to what you have
The problem we humans have got it,we think we know what will happen in future
Only God knows the future.
Something very similiar like this happened to a very close friend of mine
she was in uni 300 level n the guy was still trying to get into either uni or poly
Her thinking was exactly like what you said n to be honest she did ask our advise n we told her that it would
be better to break with him n search for other suitors but if we knew what God had in stock for her
if we've also considered other factor that they understood each other,they've stood together in trying time(the girl is Igbo n guy halfcaste( half yourba n half one of these other African countries) so u can understand that their families wasn't in agreement with their relationship.
To caught the long story short
The person that helped her gain admission did a shady entrance n when Unilag was cleaning up they notice n withdraw her from uni n the guy she broke up with now has graduated n is working
while apart that she hasn't met some like him,she isn't married,didn't go to university.

We make plans but ultimately God is in control of all things

A lot of people ask advice but little follow it.

Don't break up with him for those reasons expect if you know
he isn't treating you well n got major faults.

abeg she should let him go,
He's not worth the effort becos if it wasn't her friend it would have been some-else

@ OP,
u must be stupidest person i've know not only jare most guys are,
when i initially read the content i knew straight away the girl was just attracted to the other guy n wanted to chop his kini,
How can you compare someone u're dating to whom u aren't dating and feel his got better character than ur current b/f
Anyway the grass is always greener on the other side,
So eventually the guy chopped and treated her like trash
Then she remembered you were worth millions
It guys like you that gives girls the go-ahead to be bad women and then you complain,
Instead of you to behave like a man and kick her backside to the curb
You took her back like a mumu
Marriage is more than all the love you quote you have for her
When she does same in future,then u remember she's not a good women
When you're in a relationship,it just like marriage but no ring,
That should be when you show the stuff you're made up off
So she suddenly remembered after 4 yrs that you're not good and caring,

Na wa ohhhh
When she does it again
don't come here to tell us the story,

Guys are the most funniest people i've seen
your friend has probably dated better girls but they close their eyes n marry the wrong ones.
Anyway he should have looked before he leap.
The bible doesn't support divorce,it support seperation on ground of adultery but can't remarry unless if the wife isn't dies
Apart from your friend wishing the wife is dead then it's for better or worse till death do u part.

@ op
the problem you have here is not been consistent.
I've just checked the op's other post on this thread n back in 2008 he/she made a comment regarding best school in either babcock/ convenant university
I couldn't copy n paste as am using my phone to post.
in that message u state the you live in Naija in this post u state you've never been in Naija.
If I knew the school name n address I won't even help becos your post is fishy n when u lie then there's a lot to wonder about your genuineness as you state.
Maybe your sis would do a better job if she write herself.
To clarify
your Sis n ex husband is not late
From what I've read it seems the guy took the children to Naija without her permission
she now wants to get the address of the school n bring them back abroad.
It's the kids that are in all this mess
When adults can behave reasonably n communicate with urselves then all this won't have happen.
Don't use this forum to lie n expect information from people.
Go n sort out your family dispute amicably like reasonable adults.

@menek
you don't have to explain anything to anybody
people would always give their opinion about things becos the way we think is not same.
A lot of other comment would still be left as it's a public forum
When God wants to do his own thing
it's only one person needed not a lot of people
only God knows the truth
Even when Jesus was alive there were a lot of people who didn't believe him
his disciple was even one of them
let all things rest
At the moment just watch,look n pray that the job employment comes your way.

Thank God for the ending of this post ,
For all those that offered job
pls could post on here whoever eventually got him the job n the packages
Am not saying full amount but around the range n what benefit so in case he needs accomodation
some of us promised to pay for it so we would know if still needed.
God bless you all for ur kindness
@menek n others let's know about the outcome.

@Aqua pls be patient with the guy
This is a faceless forum so it's rather quite difficult.
@Menek what do you need to be able to scan n email ur c.v to him asap
so he can secure you dat job
some of us are rather impatient.
To be honest though I think this thing is dragging on for far 2 long.
Try to get money n send the c.v.
2 people need that c.v to help u secure a job asap.
God bless everybody.

@ odereghi
Why does everything have to turn to ethnicity
He's an indivdual n should be treated as such
I offered becos he is an individual that needed help not becos he was from your state as i can't be bothered where he's from.

@ OP
If you're really serious why haven't sent your c.v.

It woul be really disappointing if it's not genuine and to help other's in dire need would be very difficult.

@Aqua let's give him the benefit of doubt and hopefully he wll send his c.v soon.

Going forward
@ OP have you sent your CV to the person that requested it
@Aqua have you received the CV yet,
We need to know the development regarding this post
If it's the first Job offered
Have you been in touch with chiejik in regarding to that job
@Aisha
pls could update be posted so we know what's happening.

Honestly speaking am not bothered if poster is a scam or not
What am interested his helping those that needs it and if he says he does,then he does
who am i to judge him otherwise
Our reward his with Baba God anyway not with poster.


Cheers

Moderators
Pls could you advised why the poster has been banned,if he really has been
Regardless,we need to be united and make these work,
I've sent email to everybody concerned regardng what would actually happn
Let's make this happen fast and forget about this,
Reply needed and email op regarding the cv he needs to send to Aqua about the job
That's the best offer yet,
Let's know what's happening.

The people that said we would help him is enough to make this thing happen
God blessing

If there anybody based in Naija that can actually keep in touch and meet with the op,


Chhers

@ chiejik n Op  I've just sent you an email.
                                                                       
@Op I've received your message.I'm more into the email n i'ill try n speak to u once in a while

@ Radiant n chiejik
can you post ur email addy so i can contact both of you regarding the resolution about this Op asap.
I would have left my email addy but i don't want my identity known.

@Op what decision have you made,
do you want to go to Abuja or do you want to stay in Lagos and setup a business.
I'ill email you personal so we can interact more.

@ Radiant,you know i actually thought about it as well,if the year's rent is paid what happen afterward becos the amount she said they pay wouldn't keep him in Abj comfortably to pay the rent afterwards,feed n live a comfortable life.I was thinking along the line of either start a business n stay in Lagos or if someone can hook him up with a better paying job.Whatever decision the Op decide is aight with me. Am fine with 50/50 God bless you Radiant,

I cried when i read ur post and at work for that matter
Am willing to help you,
The other lady said she can help you secure a job in Abuja if you had a living accomodation.


@ chiejik if you can secure the employment.
I'ill pay for year's accomodation in Abuja,not that am rich but am sure i can afford it.
Pls could you tell me how much a year basic accomodation is in Abuja and i'ill pay,


Cheers

First dream,I dreamt i was sleeping n in dream I had a very big snake just directly by my head just laying there no threatening or vicious attack just like it was there to protect me n there were a lot of other small snakes all around the bed n on the ground.Make u aware am ver afraid of snake.If I see snake advert on t.v I dream about it. Second dream,I dreamt that I heard a voice saying am the one delaying any wedding preparations btw myself n my b/ friends n i woke in the dream.pls could u interprete the dreams pls

If ur friend told u dats his g/ friend.6 yrs is also 2 long for you to have been doing shakara.Did u think the earth stop moving,he would definitely have been toasting other girls.Anyway don't be the second g/ friend,leave him first n whenever u find out he's actually free n u want to still date him,then u can but not when he's dating that girl.Abeg respect urself n the girl as we're all women.Let's start respecting each other.He's not worth it.

Thanx all 4 the comment, I agree with all u've said n i do agree that 3 month is quite fast to settle down which is why I was taking things really slow but u know as christians minimum term is 6month maximum is a year.I just felt he didn't have my back n wants to go back to his vomit.I slowed down the introduction to his family but now, Anyway his lost not mine.We were planning to move in together which he's still eager for that but i was still not sure.I wish the relationship could have worked out as we initially planned but planned but life's a bitch,

i

why do you apologise for everything even though u're right.
There are some times that it sound too desperate and allows him to do whatever he wants to do.
Say whatever you want to say jokingly and throw away you face like you haven't said anything.
If he starts shouting show ignorance like you didn't even know it was that serious and say that you were only joking and talk to him like usual.
If he does't talk back,just tell him that regarding that joke he took it seriously and regarding the porn,tell him that when next he's watching you will join ohh and it would spice up ur relationship,abi u're watching it together not sepeartely.

@ poster,

i think you should calmly tell him that he's not the same person u knew and tell him exactly what you've wrote that you both don't have initimacy like before and joking just say hope he's not sleeping with some else ohhh.
You also states that he smells or other perfume,why don't u gently point all this cases when he works through the door,most time things you say jokingly gets a reaction and you would get your response by that.
Stop searching for what is not lost,u must be really bored to be searching his things.
I must admit he ants the relationship to work which he why he sat u down to list things he noticed with you.The was ur opportunity to tell him calming what you notice but you panic,
Anyway all is not lost
regardless from what you said he list
you sound quite negative and from what you wrote i did write a lot of negative things
look at the positive side and even if he's cheating with another girl is the girl who is losing not you as she shagging a man she can never have but yuou have to be the best there is for him.


You haven't actually got any problems in this marriage,you're the one looking for something that isn#t missing.

When you marry a lot of things changes especially sex.

You become more of friends and companion.


Stop discussing you troubles with anbody,am sure you got a best friend that you can confide in instead of neighbours as u don't even know if she's the person your husband is shagging.
Just remove face jare and leave him to his deeds even if he was becos if he knows u know,u talking to him is either of these 2

He would try to hide it though he would still do
or
he would do it more and just say you already know.


Men like to feel that they are very intelligent,just play dumb with him and do things with him that make you happy.
.
I know london is boring as i live there.


Peace be on you

The only response to this is
Why don't u value urself
All the girls he talking to,are they not girls like yourself
He can't even respect u in ur presence and you still ask for advise
It's not about how long u've been in a relationship
It's how good it is
Stop wasting ur time and look for someone better
Move out of that place abi na by force and u're asking for advise
Na wa ohhh

exes can't live in same house without something happening,abeg let her stop fooling herself
talking from experience

@ poster,
am sure most ladies in u.k have gone thru what u've stated here
don't let anybody feel u're doing something wrong becos u're not
it's the guy,they've got no moral ethnics anymore n don't understand the law of karma
a guy waiting 6 month does not mean he wouldn't Bleep up or everything is still probably a lie
the good thing about not sleeping with person though is dat u would have been able to find out the person they are becos 6 month the lies would have been out by then n it would at least cut off one person that u haven't slept with,
when the right person finds you,u'ill realise there shouldn't have been any struggle.
u'ill kiss a lot of frog before u meet the right one
good luck chick n honestly u're not doing anything wrong

@ poster,any girl dat take more than a month to reply to ur proposal is not interested in you.
don't be fooled by how long you've known urself n other sentiments n as others say stop giving her any sort of attention,things dat u say u can do for anybody might just be the only timg keeping her with you.
all women on forum as advice and as females it's all how n what we think we've all said.
we all think n act same way,a little different at times in the way the end result is but we all think same way,
good luck in meeting a lovely chick