₦airaland Forum

^^^ On point...

Since that is doomsdaymic is in his eyess...


Its a long season and we just got in...

Ujujoan: What's 'crazy' about fantasizing about a three.some

im surprised u guys dont see an issue with this.... a virgin,,, a newly-minted bride...

No wonder there is focusing on the aprokoish friend since having a 3some is no biggie...

hmmmm

bukatyne: Can't a woman have her fantasies?

Don't people fantasize sleeping with actors and actresses?

How does her fantasy affect her parenting skills?

a fantasy with 2 men banging her and that is now therapeutic?

ok o...

anyhow polyandry or polyamory is soon gonna be a reality ,, so nothing to see there...

taryour: I tell you my brother,I did rather keep some secrets in me till I die oo, after I tell God my secret,my hubby is next. If I can't tell my hubby na wahala o. True friends are difficult to find,even the ones we have for years still mock behind our back and plan our downfall.

The story may be fake, it may even be the op,s personal fantasy... i dont see it as making fun...

Such things are not common here



Op wat next ... have u spoken to the lady since

2good: [color=#000099][/color]The bolded is completely false. Men die much younger than women because society expect them to work their life out for thesame women who think they are in everyway equal to the man, without being ready to take most of the responsibilities handled by the man. We live in a fu.c.ked up world!

100 likes

Tinkybabe: Cut the op some slack jare. .how many people here can tell what friend? ? She's as anonymous as the op.so stop all these friend, fiend , foe talk
I bet the op brought the issue here to get people's thought on it..she(op) might have felt weird about it and wants to hear people's opinion.

Lol....no wonder ple die with so many secrets

Na wa

Entitlement that may not even be enough for the children to survive on

May we not die untimely

Badoo

tintingz: ^^Interesting

Did not see the game but I think pique has lost his mojo since his hips don't lie

Wengazidis has done it again

Postponement of inevitable pain

Congrats..

#Deadmenwalking

Abeg make we address the fantasy

Which one be friend or aproko again

Menage?? Wickid girl..lol

If she's truly your friend tell her to get that thing out of her mind, enjoy your hubby and focus on parenting

She for no kuku marry sef

At times I dey gbadun this tpia.. This one make sense

I remember one poster some while back that claimed to be harassed by a married man here on this land

She could not name and shame

Probly got some gifts in the bargain but she will not say




[quote author=tpia@]have to agree.

this issue has been discussed before.

women in nigeria are conditioned to believe the only way they can get ahead is by giving sexual favours.

be that as it may, they tend to automatically assume, when in the proximity of any male, that sex has to come next. This happens even in the absence of any overtures from the male.

granted many males do contribute to this status quo.

thats why when the women go overseas and find out they dont necessarily have to beg or offer favours per se before they can get ahead, they go overboard with the freedom, and tend to dump males entirely.[/quote]

Oh yeah .. That's true



Contract first before sealing with dna

Or you go grave robbing like orochi or kabuti kabuti

Women are becoming acidic mehnnn....


#Endtime

Rapmike the most useless ninja in my opinion is sakura

Punching some juubi creatures does not count

Crap

I need a lil bit of your dna to perform a kuchiyose


Saliva, blood it's all good


Welcome

firestar:

Nani?

(_{Checks back after a few pages....})

Alright guys, knock it off.
Make your comments brief, and to the point.
And if you need me for something important ... summon me.

Some stuff i saw on the BBC... cray ish

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23726120

[size=18pt]How does a polyamorous relationship between four people work?[/size]


https://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/69318000/jpg/_69318183_composite-new.jpg



Imagine one house, with four people, but five couples. How does it work, asks Jo Fidgen.
Charlie is talking excitedly about a first date she went on the night before.
Next to her on the sofa is her husband of six years, Tom. And on the other side of him is Sarah, who's been in a relationship with Tom for the last five years. Sarah's fiance, Chris, is in the kitchen making a cup of tea.
The two women are also in a full-blown relationship, while the two men are just good friends. Together, they make a polyamorous family and share a house in Sheffield.
"We're planning to grow old together," says Charlie.
Polyamory is the practice of having simultaneous intimate relationships with more than one person at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all partners. The term entered the Oxford English Dictionary only in 2006, and such relationships are rare enough that Tom finds himself having to account for his personal situation time and time again.
"The number of conversations I've had with peers where I've started to explain it and they've got as far as, 'so, you all cheat on each other' and not been able to get past that. I've said no, everybody's cool with it, everybody knows what's happening, no one's deceiving each other."
If any of the four want to get involved with someone else, they have to run it by the others - all of whom have a veto.
"We can't use a veto for something as silly as, say, personal taste," says Sarah. "If you were dating somebody and I could not understand why you found them attractive, that would not be sufficient reason for me to say, no, you can't see this person."
What counts as infidelity, then?
"Lying," they chorus.
"For example," explains Charlie, "before I went on this first date yesterday, I sat down with each of my three partners and checked with them individually that I was okay to go on this date. Cheating would have been me sneaking off and saying I was meeting Friend X and not say that it was a potential romantic partner."
The rules and boundaries of their relationships are carefully negotiated.
When they had been a couple for just two weeks, Tom suggested to Charlie that they be non-monogamous.
"It was a light bulb moment for me," she says. 'I had been scared of commitment because I had never met anyone I felt I could fall completely and exclusively in love with. The idea of this not being a monogamous relationship allowed me to fall as deeply in love with Tom as I wanted to without fear that I would break his heart by falling in love with somebody else as well."
But how did she feel when, a year into their marriage, Tom fell in love with another woman?
"Well, Sarah's lovely," says Charlie. "I was just so happy that Tom was happy with her."
Sarah's partner, Chris, was less comfortable with the situation at first. They had agreed that they could have other sexual partners, but forming an emotional attachment with someone else was a different matter.
So when Sarah fell for Tom, she agonised over how to tell Chris.
"We sat down and talked about what it meant to be in love with more than one person, and did that mean I loved him less. Well, of course it didn't.
"It's not like there's only so much love I have to give and I have to give all of it to one person. I can love as many people as I can fit in my heart and it turns out that's quite a few."
Chris and Tom bonded over video games and became firm friends. Before long, Chris had fallen in love with Tom's wife, Charlie.
"It had never crossed Chris's mind not to be monogamous - now he says he could never go back," says Sarah.
This quandary over how to manage relationships is something that couples counsellor, Esther Perel, sees people struggling with all the time.
"You can live in a monogamous institution and you can negotiate monotony, or you can live in a non-monogamous choice and negotiate jealousy. Pick your evil.
"If you are opening it up you have to contend with the fact that you're not the only one, and if you are not opening it up then you have to contend with the fact that your partner is the only one."
So how do Charlie, Sarah and Tom handle jealousy?
Not a problem, they insist, and point to a word invented in polyamorous circles to indicate the opposite feeling.
"Compersion," explains Tom, "is the little warm glow that you get when you see somebody you really care about loving somebody else and being loved."
"There's always a small amount of insecurity," reflects Sarah, recalling how she felt when her fiance fell in love with Charlie. "But compare my small amount of discomfort with the huge amount of love that I could see in both of them, and honestly, I'd feel like a really mean person if I said my discomfort was more important than their happiness."
Jealousy has to be handled differently in a polyamorous relationship, adds Charlie.
"In a two-person, monogamous relationship, it's not necessary but it is possible to say, we just need to cut out all of the people who are causing jealousy and then everything will be fine.
"Whereas when you are committed to a multi-partner relationship, you can't just take that shortcut. You have to look at the reasons behind the jealousy."
If an issue does arise, the four may stay up all night talking it over.
"We do so much more talking than sex," laughs Charlie.
But some argue that it is natural for people to bond in pairs.
Our desire for monogamy has deep roots, says Marian O'Connor, a psychosexual therapist at the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships in London.
"As children we need someone who loves us best of all in order to thrive. There's normally one main care giver, usually the mother, who will look after the infant.
"The thing about a monogamous relationship, it can give you some sense of certainty and surety, somewhere you can feel safe and at home."
Sarah, Tom and Charlie agree that a safe base is important, but see no reason why only monogamy can provide one.
"I feel safe and secure, with the ability to trust and grow, with Tom, Sarah and Chris," says Charlie. "It is from the base and security of the three of them that I face the world and the challenges the day brings."
"The way I see it, it's only a problem if I feel like one of my partners is spending more time with all their other partners than with me," says Sarah. "It just leads to people feeling hurt."
A shared Google calendar is the answer.
"We mostly use it for keeping track of date nights," says Charlie. "The couple who is on a date gets first pick of what film goes on the TV and it helps keep track of who's in what bedroom."
Sarah chips in. "So, for example, I have a weekly date night with Charlie. It's us snuggling up, us with the TV, us going to bed together and all that kind of business."
Perel sees polyamory as "the next frontier" - a way of avoiding having to choose between monotony and jealousy.
"We have a generation of people coming up who are saying, we also want stability and committed relationships and safety and security, but we also want individual fulfilment. Let us see if we can negotiate monogamy or non-monogamy in a consensual way that prevents a lot of the destructions and pains of infidelity."
But it's not an easy option.
"We get funny looks in the street," says Sarah.
"And every time you out yourself, you risk losing a friend," adds Charlie. "I'm preparing for 30 years of being made fun of."
Tom is cautiously optimistic that polyamory will become "average and everyday".
"Anyone who is expecting some massive social change overnight is terribly mistaken, but it will happen."
In the meantime, the four of them are planning an unofficial ceremony to mark their commitment to each other.
"Sometimes people just write the relationship off as a lazy way of getting more sex than you normally would. There are easier ways," says Tom wryly.
They all agree managing a multi-partner relationship can be exhausting.
"But we don't have a choice. We're in love with each other," they chime.

bukatyne: What's weird about it?

weird as in unconventional in this part of the world where frankly we expect to do all for the kids and for them to take care of us in old age

But i like it - hence the word tight

Hmmmm.

Sounds doubtful but the moral of the story is sound

Sending nuude pics can backfire

Yes but it still does not justify the wicked act

In a way that's why I like this female empowerment thing aside the bad crap that comes with it

Women should be free not to depend on a man

Afterall the mantra here on this land is marriage no be by force

passionate88: what the guy did is very bad, imagine four years of a girl's life wasted by man. After people will say to her "go and marry, see your mates don get children" they will never know what she's passed through in the hands of some men.

^^^^^Haha

Rigor mortis of the brain

Eeja Nla01: This is how most guys start the "player" boy!

exactly what happened to a friend of mine

The gal just moved on and the guy changed - became more outgoing

Bro enjoy your life abeg, there's someone better for you

Kool insight buka.. Weird but tight

Which family

Upward _ your parents


Downward - your kids

Sideways - your wife

Extended?

Passionate seems you are really passionate on this issue

Exactly ypp..

Do your best, give them the scope and exposure but they are only human like you and thus fallible

Good point on the kolomental

We are just stewards and we water

God gives the increase

May God help us all

Yes and no

Yes - they are expected to be one's legacy

No - you smother them and for the trend I'm seeing these kids will of necessity see themselves as more individualistic

Loneliness in old age

Lol

Stereotypical..... what about if it was just a bad day for her the day u went

I hope they can understand it ptoperly..


You wonder how there is hope if 99cent can call mandela jobless


Where is fellis

Black Kenichi: I've read the article. All I can say is better late than never. Feminism in whatever form is vile disease amongst women.

Is that how mai fride makes suya?!

An article I got online on feminism n racism


http://www.xojane.com/issues/why-solidarityisforwhitewomen-should-never-be-forgotten


https://www.xojane.com/files/Untitled2_3.png

[quote author=baby_123]In Nigeria, you cannot give anyone any power to hire and resign people without your knowledge. Especially if it is a private business. They will either turn it to family center for easy looting, or ashewo junction filled with brainless, and incompetent nitwits. Then you wonder why your business is failing and you are losing money at an alarming rate.[/quote]true...