₦airaland Forum

Toks2008: Lets face it, its not an easy thing to forgive and forget but if you are married, you will realize that its not equally easy to divorce your spouse. GOD will help you OP. Just find a place in your heart to forgive her.

Jman06: It means go and chew soap

yoddy01: Do you even make sense to yourself? does the fact that the child remains unknown change the fact that a child is born out of wedlock? If you are to even look at it from a compassionate point of view, the woman having the child is better, because that way the child has the love of two parents, even if one of them is not the biological parent. Whereas in the man's case, the man might not even acknowledge or have a relationship with the child. Children in this kind of case grow up with lots of self esteem issues. Cheating is cheating, be it man or woman. Nobody should define infidelity by sex. That is just crap

Idowuogbo: To love is natural but to understand d variations of love U need wisdom.Dis guys are WISE!!!' E no easy o! Imagine, wiv d current oko wan lo de trend, na hin wan akebaje liv house over massage? Nkan be o! Hian!

Idowuogbo: Lmao! Egbon mi! Sofri o! Bcus as u dey answer present sir, na triplets go follow o

Idowuogbo: Awwww...all na shakara! She go soon locate ur GPRS.Haba! No b Oga Tokunbo aka bedroom gladiator alias d guy with d golden gun again? Bros, Chillax! I go drop ur matter along wiv my prayer request dis coming Sunday..she must pack come back by fire or force.

kulyie: lmao as in ehen my sister their preaching dey vex me die.after threatening with rape,that one no work,them con resort to preaching.i nor know how some become overnight pastors for nairaland

Toks2008: Bottom line, talk to your wife, some women love been kissed in a particular way, some love pre-intimacy for a long time and different ladies have different ways of letting off their hidden pleasure so discuss with your partner and understand this thoroughly.

some women will not cheat if they are really getting good satisfaction in bed. Every married man must make his wife squirt without minding the bedsheets getting wet. If you can achieve this, forget your wife ever cheating on you except she is.......

kulyie: everthing wey tayo tell you na true.so is that all

Toks2008: Yes o, that's why my run away wife still confess two days ago on fb chat say she misses my "massage" as she no wan talk am finish.

kulyie: go on dear.i am with you

yoddy01: Bros take am easy o. If you are this angry, come imagine how the husband feels, another man topping your baby. It is disgusting

Pro 6: 34-35


34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.

Toks2008: My brother no mind my sweet wife, she is so beautiful that she just got carried away and you know, she must blame it on something but nevertheless, she is only human.

The funniest part is that she claimed she was never carried away by another man but i caused the separation.

Anyway, i still love her so well and i wil be ready to forgive her if she retraces her steps and if i wait a little more and she still stays away, i will gladly move on.

yoddy01: Bros e, we are not seeking sex lessons here o . There are kids on this forum o.

yoddy01: I can imagine the hurt you feel. It brings back memories. The mistake you made was trying to get all the details about the affair. I did that too thinking it will help me heal, but it only made it worse. Please talk with your wife, let her know how betrayed you feel, pour out all the rage and let her know that you will not tolerate a repetition. You will feel better in time. Some women do worse. I know one who cheated while she was 7months pregnant with her husband's baby. It is sickening to think of it, but this is the kind of world we live in.

Toks2008: Let me give you a hint.

Call her and sit her down for a real heart to heart talk.

Just maybe there is something she really wants that is lacking. We men must really know how to make her women happy in all areas.

I laughed my head off when my wife wrote to me that the only thing she missed is the massage i usually give to her but i know she is missing much more.

We are all adults here so please pardon me to tell you this, do crazy things to her in bed like licking her snail, explore her G spot, make her squirt and many more because women love good sex so really talk to her.

And anytime you make love to her, do it with serious vendetta by doing it real good always trying to prove to her that you are better.

But the bottom line is that you need to move on, forgive her and in no time GOD who sees your heart will make you forget. Stop bothering yourself about whether she had it 100yimes or once with another man.

kulyie: lmao how mama biola and pikin dem

bettymafy: Yoddy and toks2008, God will restore your marriages. U will not labour in vain. U and your spouse will look back and no longer feel any pain, hurt or sorrow. Your marriages will blossom that people will envy you.

I'm just so touched with the way u guys are so committed to your marriages. Shows we still have men who are determined to keep their homes through thick and thin. Just hang in there buddies, joy awaits u.

I repeat, your labor of love will not be in vain!

Idowuogbo: Amen o!!!! Gawd! Dis guys are something else.

bettymafy: Ok. Point taken.

yoddy01: I have been through this before. It has been almost 2 years now and still remember, I still feel repulsed. The healing does not come overnight. You have to decide to forgive again everyday. As long as she is repentant, you can recover from this. Please if you love your wife, do not leave her. Try to work it out, do not chicken out by divorcing her. Anytime you remember while trying to have sex, push those thoughts aside and think of the good times. You will get through it. Infidelity is one of the worst things that can happen in marriage. Take heart bro

Toks2008: If this post is referring to me then maybe i should send you a copy of the fb chats where you will see series of posts appealing to her to retrace her steps but you see, sometimes this love thing must be tested. If you love someone and the person wants to go, try to make that person stay but if that partner insists, allow him/her to go, if they love you truly, they will come back but if they don't come back believe hey were never meant to be part of your life and move on.

See, the fear of GOD conquers all. I am an extremely attarctive young man but the fear of GOD in me will not just allow me sleep around with ladies.I have tried all i can to get her back and the last post i sent to her 2 days ago is to either retrace her steps or stay put but i will not force it. You don't need to beg someone to give you a space in their lives, if they love you enough, they will create one for you.

So i still advice you OP, forgive and GOD will help you forget.

bettymafy: How am I hassling him? Read his posts again, u will see he has made up his mind to seek for divorce. People have been advising him from the first page till now, he still hasn't said anything like him trying once again to make his marriage work.

I'm all for him doing whatever he feels will make him happy and if that includes divorce, who am I to stop him?

ileobatojo: Have you tried professional counseling? Sine you love her so much and you're trying everything possible you could try that. Individual and couples counseling would be the thing to do. It may or may not lead you too back together, but it should make aid your decision making process along. Active word here is professional, add experienced. I'm not talking about church leaders or elders please. God help you.

armyofone: Yes there will be a time you won't remember. Work on it more, see a counselor, you will be surprised to know what brought it all in the first place, negligence, lonely, stress, no shoulder to cry on etc. Why didn't you use the last 8months for both of you to see a counselor/therapist/psychiatrist? you might have been working to provide that you forgot her emotional need.
Many women have been there in your shoes and they. They learn to live with it for the sake of the marriage/children.
Hang in there and don't give up, all will be well with time.

gbokukueba: ayanma!

bettymafy: There is really no need for the pity-partying. If u know deep down that u can't get past this betrayal, just seek for divorce. I've even heard of some couples that the two-year pre divorce seperation helped get through their challenges and they got back together.

I'm sure u've thought things through within these 8months and have carefully planned your strategy. There isn't any advice here that will make u change your mind. So please, go ahead.

Best of luck. U are sure gonna need loads of it.

Idowuogbo: Gawd! Are u real? Mehn! I BOw! Rare gem.

Toks2008: Hmmm, Adultery,Adultery,Adultery. I am so so confused here.

I am equally married but separated from my wife at the moment. Reason? Incompatibility as she Claimed but i simply told her she is carried away by another man which she denied vehemently and presently staying with here sis.

Though i don't know whether she is seeing another man at the moment but the mare taught of her with another man drives me crazy so i can imagine your case knowing that the act really happened.O gosh.

Asking you to forgive her seems ok but you definitely can't forget. Each time you touch her, kiss her and make love to her the flashes must come no doubt. I really feel for you and i believe GOD will help you in making your decision.

But whatever happens, Love forgives all things.

Toks2008: OP Let me give you a true advice.

I am a married man, i met my wife when she was 19, made her a woman, at 25 i married her now at 30 she says she is disconnected from me because of incompatibility issues and i kept wondering if i have been pretending all thee years so i sternly told her that she is simply carried away and that whenever her brain settles she can come back home provided she has not defiled herself with another man. For about 4 months now she has been staying with her sis.

Now get this straight, even if she sleeps with another man and she realizes her mistakes and comes back to me, i will forgive her and move on like nothing ever happened. You know why?

What is the guarantee that the next lady i will marry will not do worse things? and what is the assurance that the new lady have not slept with the whole men in Nigeria.

Wake up man, she is your wife. the question you should ask yourself is:

1. Is she a good wife to you?
2. Has he always made you happy?
3. Is she worth forgiving considering what you guys have been through together?
4, Is she genuinely repentant?

If all these answers are positive abeg forgive her if she is sincerely sorry.


See, the only difference between a man and a woman are the genitals and some hormones, they can also get carried away like we men and i believe if it was you who defiled the marriage bed you will ask her to forgive you abi? Abeg forgive your wife and pray to GOD to help you mend your broken heart.

I have been married for 6 years now so my advice is worth considering.