₦airaland Forum

andromida: In times past marriages were arranged so the wife and husband had no choice but to do their best with whatever situation they found themselves in but now men choose their wives so how does a man end up with a wife he becomes indifferent to.?

Anyways people change, feelings fluctuate due to different challenges, if the man is indifferent and sees her as a duty she as a christian woman must uphold her faith to God first and continue to submit in love to God. Afterall she chose him too. I will particularly recommend while submitting she should strive to achieve her purpose and if she does not know yet she should keep looking and pursuing her purpose and happiness.

Submission here must now include wisdom not acting all holier than thou and playing the martyr, this is where op's post comes in handy. But as you can see from your question this is not the norm but an anomaly. An indifferent husband is not and should not be a usual marriage scenario.

The wisdom part here also goes beyond the op's opinion a woman in this situation should devise means to be happy irrespective of the husband's indifference. Life is beyond living for a man and love does not come from only one source. If she has a family she should invest in nurturing healthy love relationship with them, if she has friends she should enjoy them and if she is an orphan with no friends and kids she still has a purpose in life.

With or without love in a marriage both parties should live a life of purpose. All earthly relationships come to an end at one point or the other and finally through death does that mean we no longer will be happy forever? if a spouse dies and indeed someone must die before the other does the other spouse not keep on?

Marriage is not the end game in life.

bukatyne: This post is not to me but...

What would make a husband not love his wife? he is not ready to obey God (love his wife) but he wants his wife to obey?

On the flip side, what would make a woman marry a man that doesn't love her? Most times, a woman can tell a man doesn't genuinely love her. A pastor once said something: 'Whatever you do to enter a marriage is what you will use to sustain it.' A woman begs, cajoles, and washes her way into marriage, she should be ready to do so. it is very funny when women who did everything to become a Mrs now expects their husbands to suddenly love them and treat them right. That's why we begin to hear crazy advices of look sexy, make up, ignore him, endure, pray and fast, cook efo riro etc. to get the man to do what he ought to do. Women should realize that they CAN NEVER force a man to love them and once they miss it, they should be ready to endure till death/divorce do them part.

As for men, what would make a man marry a woman he doesn't love? Most times, they date women they can't marry and one thing forces them to marry the women. Well, since the man has made the choice, he MUST learn to love her unconditionally. A man that loves his wife small (whatever that means) will be very difficult to submit to. The woman should just ask the husband for his rules and post it by her bedside so that she doesn't step on his toes. The truth is that such a home will have serious issues hence the tales of woe we hear daily in the family section.

it's also a big fallacy to believe that every couple married because they loved either other and wearing sexy clothes would make the marriage fine again.

So to answer your question, the wife should learn to submit to her husband but she should know that it's not for her husband's love BUT for her master's approval.

Feraz: I'm seeing your handwork in the Nairaland Maths Thread. . . Biolabee. . . . Keep it up

andromida: Men and women are equal but have different roles to play. A woman cannot produce sperm and a man cannot get pregnant. The roles are complimentary. The commandment to love and submit is because God gets us more than we can even begin to think. It is easy for a woman to submit to a man that loves her because she knows he has her best interest at heart. Impossible for a woman to submit to a man she does not trust because she knows she is not safe anything can happen.

LadyCCP: Done. Already edited.

Note** Poster pls you may have to edit out that part where he made a statement that sounds like he ascribed dirtiness to his tribe. It sounds somehow.

Nashville: We Nigerians just like being defensive. The poster has raised valid points for women to learn from. I do not agree that women should be blamed for marital failures, no it takes two and both have equal responsibilities to share in a marriage. But we can see here that the wife also has a role to play. I do not believe in treating your husband as a demi-god because it kills the fun in marriage, however to answer the poster's question, I do not think Eve made Adam eat the fruit by nagging and cursing and forcing him. She must have done it lovingly sef, and that is the point the poster is trying to make. Women should know their husbands and how best to interact with their husbands. Men hate nagging, if you want your husband to do something, you typically wont get it by nagging him to death. There are other ways than nagging that will produce results if only some women will learn.

Marriage is not always about men vs women, both men and women should constantly seek ways to help them understand their spouses better so that there is more peace and love in the home. The poster has just given a few point for women to note. No need to bash the poster.

andromida: He refused to take responsibility for their actions.

kulyie: how do you know that.presumption is the mother of ignorance.by the way

majekaja o.why to fi masope she dey find war council.haba na.she needs counselling and encouragements which i am happy and cc have done

firestar: How many times does Kishi wants to have him suya'd ehn?!
It's getting annoying.

Erm...why do I get the feeling Naruto's battle with Sasuke will be put on hold? With the way Sakura is giving fake signals....as if an Ex-Root Operative like Sai will not notice....and Shikamaru too.

This is gonna get wor-wor-gly...

First time I've seen Amateratsu-flame extinguish....
What now, Sa-su-keh-kun?

jidegirl12: Chei you and your razor mouth ehn