₦airaland Forum

@viv.. flattered

#just passing...

@lovelydoll

Just came across this

Polyamory - will it take root?
According to them, they engage in consensual, ethical and responsible non-monogamy

[size=18pt]MARRY ME. AND ME[/size]


Twelve years ago, Richard Gilmore walked into a party and laid eyes on Vicki for the first time. It was like a scene from a 1940s Hollywood romance.

“If you were to film it, it would be so sappy and saccharine, you wouldn’t believe it,” recalled Richard, now 60. “There was a crowd of people, but all I could see was her.” Vicki, now 63, noticed Richard too, and began to stare back. The chemistry between them was immediate and irresistible. They say it was love at first sight.

“Oh my God,” Richard thought at the time. “It really happens.”

But this is where the old Hollywood romance ends and another kind of love story begins. A few weeks later, after her magical first date with Richard, Vicki went home—to Jim, her husband of almost 20 years. “Why didn’t you want to come with us tonight?” Vicki asked Jim, after she told him all about the date. “I wanted you to have a chance to get to know Richard one-on-one,” Jim told her.

“Wasn’t that cool of him?” Richard recalled.

So as Richard and Vicki started dating, Jim and Vicki happily continued their marriage. Nine months later, Jim met a woman named Maria. Jim and Maria began to date, and then Richard and Maria started dating, too. Finally, in 2002, as the group of four piled on coats and scarves to go out one chilly evening, Richard stopped at the door and looked back at everyone.

“We’re really a family now, aren’t we?” he asked. They were—and they have been ever since.

Richard, Vicki, Jim, and Maria are polyamorists: people who engage in what has been described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy.” Unlike polygyny, where one man is married to multiple women, most polyamorists aren’t motived by religion. Instead, they describe their relationships in language that should be familiar to anyone: It’s just what feels healthy, happy, and natural for them.

And despite the stereotype of polyamorists as sexual anarchists who wouldn’t be interested in legal marriage anyway, Robyn Trask, the executive director of polyamory support organization Loving More, said the group’s forthcoming survey found that 65 percent of poly families would choose to legalize their unions if they could, and an additional 20 percent would at least consider the option if it were available.

But seriously—is legal recognition of plural marriage just too complicated to ever be realistic? After all, government marriage comes with a whole list of associated burdens and benefits. Marriage laws influence alimony, health care, Social Security, hospital visitation, inheritance, criminal testimony, taxation, immigration, and more. Monogamous marriages are already vulnerable to marriage fraud, and polyamorous marriages could, in theory, open the door to even more radical forms of fraud—hundreds of people “marrying” for immigration purposes, for example, or criminal groups “marrying” to take advantage of spousal testimonial privilege. Maybe the pursuit of genuinely inclusive marriage equality isn’t worth the headache it would take to re-evaluate our tax, immigration, and criminal justice systems.

So let’s start with the fundamental question: What is marriage—and what do we want it to be? Is marriage a government program, meant to incentivize certain social goods? Is it a religious institution that should be separated from the state entirely? Is it a personal romantic choice?

More at http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/06/polyamory_should_be_legal_it_s_consensual_and_fine_for_children.single.html

Exotic

that's how the gay movement started

Interesting world we live in

bukatyne: The poster didn't specify is they hubby told her b/4 marriage or if he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day.

this is the key information
without that we cant say much really

lovelydoll: Oooo ok ,you are right about that

Tragic..but that is civilisation

Hmmm.. I get that but we need to hear from her mouth and also know what are her options so we can give a more customised advice

kulyie: from what i infered there,she is apparently a house wife who depends on her husband for everything financial.e.g dady tope groundnut oil has finished,salt has finished,money for baby diapers,money for bra,money for recharge card etc

berylLOL: LOL ....what are mine?

Vestige of the grammar police that proliferates daily over the cyberland

She meant What am I

@geoger... Na wa for this one

Firstly you've not told us of your means of sustenance

Which country is this and is your husband a lawful citizen of that country

What have your own parents said on this matter

What are your options
School? Work? Business?

lovelydoll: So men are going to start dying in droves again?
if so ,there will still be no use for polygamy marriage , cause there are many ways to make babies,and support yourself.

not sure wat u mean but i meant that marriage will be A thing of the past

lovelydoll: and homo marriage/no marriage/poly marriage can also be a thing of the future. but Today is monogamy . Polygamy is not necessary,men do not go out to war in large numbers anymore and women are not so dependent anymore.

it will be... it will be

just a mata of time

Oduamadi... GOLALALALALA


Back to Spartacus... abegii

golalala

The mouthed guy

Nigeria striker Peter Odemwingie on BBC Three: "The coach Stephen Keshi is a very strong man and has a lot of character. When he was a player he was a leader of a team that had to sort of issues of the pitch when he played. Now, we have had our issues and they are starting moving on from that. The problem was that he was trying to change things to a younger team but there are right and wrong ways to do it."

hi guys

serves the ritualistman right

adios!! you wont be missed

[quote author=Cele-pope]Those people on this thread speaking against disowning have not seen anything from evil children.Some kids their parent have done everything possible to make them a better person yet they have made up their mind to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for nothing. What do you expect the parent to do.Many of you against disowning your own child will certainly harbor that Boko Haram crook the father reported to JTF in Maidugiri last week.Though from my point of view of disowning situation in Nigeria its only the rich that does that simply because they gat what they can use in punishing such kid.A boy with a poor parent have nothing to lose if he is disowned.I have seen a father that disowned his son but he kept on staying in his house except that they don't speak to each other and when this man passed on even the wife was shocked that her late husband willed all his physical cash and asset to charity and Church except for few stakes in his companies to his wife.Funny enough the boy was their only child[/quote]GBAM!!!
The prayer is to never see such

jiraiyas: You just define Uchiha 'backstabberz and gravediggerz'.

haha...

bukatyne: Oh, I see

Yep..

ledafaze: hahaha... no mind the guy jare.. at least him gats rep him sanin

true.. but snakes dont sound uchiha like
Uchihas are a proud clan... not backstabbers n gravediggers

interesting,.. am busy now.. will read and respond later

vivalableue: I don't know, can A man stomach sharing his wife?

No i cannot... i will leave the wife and go and look for my own

vivalableue: I honestly can't give an opinion because I was not born into polygamy. But, I can't imagine sharing my husband with anyone. That would tear me apart. Namely because of trust, would he tell other wives my/Our personal problems. Also, because of conflict resolution, would he turn to another wife when we have problems in order to clear his head. Finally, in my opinion it would create, big head syndrome, as in the man's head go inflate from too much attention.

Haha... now you talking

i think mexico will take it

Hmmmm I get what you saying however remember parents are humans also
The prayer is that our efforts on them are not wasted
May God help us all

yellowpawpaw: Mr biolabee,I call them failures bc they hv given up on their son.
Failure means when u didn't get something right and u give up even if u've bn tryin ur best to get it.

I will give u another example.
Durin d bakassi tyme,I hapned to witness one of their bizzare killin unintentionally at my place.
I knew one of d guys kild.early forty kind of guy.he was bad,every body knows.but on dat day,what caught my attention was d mum.she insisted on seein her son for d last time even in such a bad situation. She was wailing.pple were consolin her.I can't start narratin what she said cos I even cried.pple cried with her.she didn't give up even in death and we all know she did her best.get it?
Like I said earlier,any parent that said s/he will disown admitted s/he is a failure.
Durin uni,one bad guy in d nebor hood was know for doin it all wrong.a time he was mentally unstable.guess d dad?a well know and respected prof.d guy left d family house and was livin alone. A caricature.he has bn taken to rehab,counseled many times.I still remember d dad's numerous visits and humiliation but that man didn't give up.that guy spent more than 8yrs in school.d last time I went to dat school,I met him.he actually stopd me.I wanted to run but they told me that he is ok now and a grad.it took d family yrs of constantly showing lv and it paid off. Even if it didn't,u can't disown.
God still show lv to us despite our shortcomings.spouses still show lv to abbusive and bad mates even when pple thing they r crazy cos they hope dat there will be change one day.how much more ur child!
I think I can't explain my statement more than this.thank u.

LoveAmaka: I hear you...doesn't sound romantic...at all!

Haha now I get you

firestar: Cats? (Uchiha) Dragons?(Kabuto) Hawks?(Sasuke) wolves?(Inuzuka)

nice one

Hmmm...

I get you but calling others parental failures considering we also don't know the future is what I was getting at

In the example you brought up, are you saying the father tried to reconcile with his son before he died and did the son find his path eventually

yellowpawpaw: I called them failure bc of what came out from her mouth.period. If she can say that outside,I wonder what goes behind d closed door.
As u disown ur child instead of lookin for help till thy kingdom come even if it is not workin,r they better off.I tell u such parent usually die bitter!
My uncle disowned his son when I was a kid.till today as an adult,I hv never set my eyes on that guy.heard he is in lagos.only sufaced wen d dad died.even though others were doin well,he was very bitter.set out search party once for d guy,begged for forgiveness but d guy didn't bulge.one day,d man slumped and that was all.still d guy's name is in d kindred's register.no matter how bad,such words must not come out of ur mouth!pple don beg d guy tire cos they now know what he do and where he lives,he said he is not part of d family.so sad,I feel for him. That's why I'm against this very well.
Read my first post.out of anger,we can spout anything from our mouth but we must forever live with d consequence.

Hahahahaha... You mince no words

ZACHIE: nothing is new under the sun
the decent
the reprehensible
the dammed...this is damned.

Just started...

Even sparacus wife dey fight
See as she kill barbarian

Hope it's worth it

What practical way can one do this without opening himself to lawsuits or ostracisation

MsSantaClaus: Madam, what about other people's children there? Don't you owe them a duty of care? It's your duty to speak out , not just take YOUR Child away. or is it when some other child gets hurt, you'll say to yourself Thank God it wasn't mine? Yet you knew something was not quite right! Na wa! What happened to being your brothers keeper? Or is the PASTORS WIFE's feelings more important than the safety of the children?

I don't think you have enough info to label another parent as a failure

I assume you are a parent yourself

Some treess just yield bad fruit
No fault of no one

We hear of judges who have cultists as sons

Pastors have one black sheep

I think generally we are too quick to judge considering we don't know what this boy has put his parents through
Any kawyer in the house, can you legally disown a child

I know of disinheriting


Aside, watched menace 2 society yesterday and saw that the issues dogging blacks 20 yrs ago are still relevant today

yellowpawpaw: Mr Cooger,u rnt serious! U still didn't disown him!
Hv u any right to disown ur child?
Stuck like superglue to u!
For that woman to open her mouth and utter rubbish with d consent of her hubby,the two of them r complete FAILURE!
God knows what they must hv bn stufin into his head!now they want to act d good parents that hv bn tryin soooo hard to make him change. Givin him ultimatum!
What kind of parents r they?

Nice experience
Like those words I am privileged to be where I am-- shows humility irrespective of your gender
And that is the key - humility

Thanks for sharing

toofine765: In my organization most of the single ladies take home a minimum of 200,000 naira monthly, go to banks the same thing is obtainable. It will therefore be very difficult for this ladies to say they will marry men who are richer than them except they want to marry their colleagues which is also not allowed. I personally earn more than my man but it has never been an issue. He works very hard as a construction engineer and still gives me monthly allowance for the upkeep of the family. I keep my money but also contribute greatly to family projects. Who contributes more has never been an issue because I know I am just privileged to be working where I am. By the way I got the job while married to him. I performs my duties as a wife and mother perfectly and my husband sees me as a gift from above. My advice to ladies who earn more than their men is that they should not let the present situation get into their heads as the tables can turn around tomorrow.

You are one of the few who don't hate him

Ask the elders they will tell you

His antics with idiagbon

His sharia statements

His general intolerance

Finally ptf projects favored d north


Personally I have nothing against him and admit he is principled and honest

He got a lote of votes from the south in 11

dayokanu: I am a Southerner and I dont hate Buhari, Actually I think he is one of the few honest leaders we have in Nigeria

Nice story..

Sure you are proud of that baby girl now

damiso: Lol@ the oyibo talk too much.I remember how the random lady standing next to you at the till who you just made eye contact with will start quizzing about the history of your pregnancy.
E remain for them to ask style the baby was concieved in
Its was quite refreshing for me sha because right from time (like my father) I never got why we were overly secretive about everything.Dont tell anyone you are travelling, dont tell people your score in jamb, dont eat the food your neighbour brought at christmas and sallah, dont tell people you are pregnant till you give birth .

I told ALL the people that mattered after the first 12 weeks and that included my dearest friends and my inlaws too.If you did not know that I was pregnant its possible that we rarely talked in 9 months anyway so biggie.I was a lil secretive with my 2nd cos I was a lil embarassed
I had been running my mouth that my daughter must be at least 3 and a half before another baby (see why am not a fan of the pill ).I almost faced a discplinary at work cos I just got back from mat leave 10 months earlier.My husband was like this is getting ridiculous just tell your manager before they think you are skiving with this your shocking level of sickness absence.Apart from that I also told all those dearest to me, thank God I did sef cos I needed all the help I could get as I was sooo ill.