maikbanj: Good evening. I got transferred to a new office and my boss is just the direct opposite of the Previous.My current boss is a bit nice but then doesn't have managerial skills. She really doesn't know how to handle her subordinates. At a slight mistake, she's all shouting the roof down. She exaggerates a lot and looks for every means to put a blame on you when things don't work even though it's not your fault. E.g, you're working on something and probably you have network issues and can't complete or round off on time, she'll just look for a way to put in on you. Now it's almost affecting the way I work. Asking her questions sometimes is almost difficult and then I do it my way. There are just so many complains and I can't afford to lose this Job right now.
In front of you she's acting so nice but behind she's all saying dirty things. I'm getting fed up. Coming to work seems tiring now.
Please how do I handle this?
Watch how you react when she shouts.
I totally understand the part that you can't ask her questions because you don't want the unpleasant reaction but you have to ask even though it is not pleasant solely because of your efficiency.
Be very professional when she is emotional dont every keep shut but calmly explain yourself.
It is very ok for you to tell her you don't appreciate her shouting at you that your understanding she might be upset.
chocolateme: I come from a very strict background. I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends. Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
You are Muslim. You will get married don't worry. Let me give you a tip look at how they treat others and that should help you. You can still go in with tension believe me you are smart you will find a way to enjoy it.
In all transparency, I don't know the site but I know their Instagram handle, found them through an ad. A study plan thing. I don't want to drop their handle because I have bombarded their page with a scam alert thing and I am trying to stay anonymous. I hope you understand.
I woke up with the thought of a friend that reached out to me for assistance and was planning on transferring money to the individual before I start my day, my phone wasn't at my arm's length so I decided to wait till I wake up fully(im still resting mode).
It was then I got a notification, I casually stood up to check then I saw a debit of all the money in my acct I thought it was a joke or I wasn't seeing well or it was an old notification.
It took two mins for it to dawn on me, I immediately got dressed and ran to the bank to block my atm or something and started making calls like a mad woman.
Eventually, I got to know that it was a site I bought something from yesterday that accessed my details and cleared my account.
Bank can't get my money back, I have sent emails to the site no response.
I used to read about it happening to people now it has happened to me.
This is what I have learnt from the experience- Make due diligence to run background checks on foreign (even local sites that you want to make payments on).
Plus I think Insurance companies need to start internet insurance or something. Another plus OTP's are important! I didn't get any.
The conclusion BE VERY CAUTIOUS!!!
P.S - Please share your experience if you have gotten your money back after this kind of experience because even though im typing English my heart is very very heavy and im not smiling at all! I would really appreciate the help.
Shamelessman01: Lately I just started finding normal foods like rice, yam, spaghetti, Bread tasteless.when I try to eat them they don't go at all and I find myself constantly loosing appetite for them. This is very detrimental to my health as I have started emancipating. please what should I do?
.let me share an experience with you guys, 15 years ago, I was suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder OCD.
I was counting everything I did,I counted the number of footsteps to school, church, home, market etc.
I was literally going mad, I made sure everything has an even number, odd number was bad, the number of my clothes I bought new ones to make it an even number.
they took me to see a native doctor, he said I was under attack, that he would cure me with 10 million naira. they gave him 5 million. as usual he failed to deliver,
my uncle living in fort Lauderdale suggested a brain scan for me, and that was how they discovered my pain point, a fly was inside my neo cortex. extractive surgery corrected everything.
it is not everything you suggest psychiatrist, some times a brain scan will help, psychiatrist are the only specialist who don't see the organ they are trying to cure. it is like throwing dart in the dark.
Pierocash: Don't let what you read online deceive you that it is sleeping paralysis.
What is happening to you is demonic. You are under witchcraft attack. Nobody who have such experience that won't suffer one misfortune or the other. Some ignorant dudes will soon land and start claiming intellectuals,and forming technocrats by calling black people ignorant.
But bro, take my word for it,you are under demonic siege,go for deliverance because I was in that situation of yours ,I did deliverance and am totally free from that rubbish. I sleep perfectly well like a baby for many years now
Now you are more fortunate?
Or were the misfortune very noticeable before the prayers and now less noticable?
Gayatri: I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.
Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..
From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..
What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..
When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..
As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..
You can't use live to make him change.
Walk away and the pain will pass.
What he did is not honorable. Inciting feelings in you and leaving you hanging.
Walk away don't ask him if you should. Why would he say yes.
LucyB24: I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.
Sorry dear..
If you want him back stop reaching out to him.
Wait for him to reach out. When he reaches out make sure you take a while before can access you.
And keep it simple, apologise and explain with adding all the story of I wanted to die when I couldn't reach you.
Mirror his energy, if he says he misses you, say it exactly the same way, if without excitement, do the same.
Prepare your mind to move on, of he doesn't make effort to continue your love.
If he really loves you, he won't make you hurt for that long because he will be miserable that you will be hurt too.
And also if you guys marry you will have issues is this how he will handle it.
Person wey dey practice for marriage handles things maturely.
godforus: it feels so sad. The guy doesn't appreciate the lady. A woman who has done all these for you truly loves you and has no intention to hurt you by cheating in your absence. Sure it can still happen due to mistake or sort of in the midst of long-time-no-see. But she loves him a great deal no doubt, and that is all that should matter.
Yea.. he is the one not in love.
It's their life Sha.. few minutes ago I was very upset.
DeOTR: I traveled to the US for just a year, I had to take my girlfriend along. Your Cousin is irresponsible. I'd advise the lady to dump his sorry ass first.
I wish the lady will do that. He appears not to be so much in love with her.
This post was made by me on behalf of my cousin concerning a current situation he is in and would really love to get the much advice he can about this.
My cousin met this girl 3 years ago when he just finished Youth service and of course, didn't have much financially. He asked her out and the girl readily agreed. Ever since then, it has been a wonderful relationship for the both of them. This girl tolerates my cousin's flaws even when he might be in a bad mood. This girl landed a job before my cousin and through out the 8 months he was jobless, she always stood by him and never cheated once on him. She loves my cousin to the Moon and back.
After my cousin finally landed his first job here in Nigeria, he started applying for jobs in Scotland cos he really had the intention of relocating. He got frustrated after he couldn't land the Scotland jobs after 2 years and gave up. His girl always cheered him up and told him not to give up. She immediately took over the job applications for him which she made every single day from her place of work on her office computer. She, in addition, fasted and prayed for my cousin without his knowledge for him to land his dream job in Scotland.
5 months later, my cousin got an interview and landed the job. He is about relocating.
Now, my cousin is in a dilemma. He has strong intentions about marrying this girl but doesn't know what his moving to the Scotland may result. He can't marry her right now not make arrangements to relocate with her due to the high financial cost. So he intends on leaving first to later come back for her. However, he is absolutely oblivious of what being away from her for too long may cause and would not wish to stay away too long, get entwined with too much work that he forgets about her which will break the girl's heart. Although he and the girl has talked about this, she has said she would wait for him no matter how long it took but has said that the ball is in the court of cousin to decide.
So, my cousin came to me and I have come to you dear Nairalanders.
He is asking if there is a greater advantage in him continuing with the girl all the way from Scotland, defying a long distance relationship or if he should simply end the relationship by the simple reason of not breaking the girl's heart in the long run.
Note: My cousin lives this girl sooo much but wouldn't want to see her get hurt by him.
Yours opinions are very much needed.
Opinions can be given without need for sentimental insults please. Thank you.
I left and I am back..
Let your cousin leave her.. please send the girls number to me. I have brothers looking for loyal and responsible girls not after their money , lemme link her up.
Lemme even be her friend, so I can console her.
I have never been more attached to someone I have never met before. Don't know why I'm even emotional. Keep me posted.
mrblessed: People like to create problem for themselves where there is none. I think your cousin is no longer interested in the lady and is courting a ruse, matter how unreasonable to dump her. At least he should be man enough to boldly state his intention, instead of playing hide and seek with her. To treat this lady this way, I think, is very unfair for someone who has stood by you, supported, encouraged, and prayed for you.
Come on, the talk of uncertainty of life abroad is complete nonsense, because nobody has the supernatural ability to predict the future. But that doesn't mean we should surrender to the principle of determinism and refuse to plan for the future. There are numerous ways to go about it: engage her and see her people. If it is possible, pay her bride price and let her become your wife legally before traveling. If he fails to marry this lady, the loss is his.
I don't think that cousin loves her and it's very sad.
This post was made by me on behalf of my cousin concerning a current situation he is in and would really love to get the much advice he can about this.
My cousin met this girl 3 years ago when he just finished Youth service and of course, didn't have much financially. He asked her out and the girl readily agreed. Ever since then, it has been a wonderful relationship for the both of them. This girl tolerates my cousin's flaws even when he might be in a bad mood. This girl landed a job before my cousin and through out the 8 months he was jobless, she always stood by him and never cheated once on him. She loves my cousin to the Moon and back.
After my cousin finally landed his first job here in Nigeria, he started applying for jobs in Scotland cos he really had the intention of relocating. He got frustrated after he couldn't land the Scotland jobs after 2 years and gave up. His girl always cheered him up and told him not to give up. She immediately took over the job applications for him which she made every single day from her place of work on her office computer. She, in addition, fasted and prayed for my cousin without his knowledge for him to land his dream job in Scotland.
5 months later, my cousin got an interview and landed the job. He is about relocating.
Now, my cousin is in a dilemma. He has strong intentions about marrying this girl but doesn't know what his moving to the Scotland may result. He can't marry her right now not make arrangements to relocate with her due to the high financial cost. So he intends on leaving first to later come back for her. However, he is absolutely oblivious of what being away from her for too long may cause and would not wish to stay away too long, get entwined with too much work that he forgets about her which will break the girl's heart. Although he and the girl has talked about this, she has said she would wait for him no matter how long it took but has said that the ball is in the court of cousin to decide.
So, my cousin came to me and I have come to you dear Nairalanders.
He is asking if there is a greater advantage in him continuing with the girl all the way from Scotland, defying a long distance relationship or if he should simply end the relationship by the simple reason of not breaking the girl's heart in the long run.
Note: My cousin lives this girl sooo much but wouldn't want to see her get hurt by him.
Yours opinions are very much needed.
Opinions can be given without need for sentimental insults please. Thank you.
I want your cousin to actually read this.
I am already upset by you thinking of breaking up with her for Scotland.
It appears to me that deep down you don't love this woman and she carry your matter for head more than you carry hers.
What will stop you from marrying her, your problem is that she will have sexual urges and you won't be able to take it if she cheats.
This girl have showed you she is loyal, before she even make a mistake you are ready to ball out.
You don't love her like you claim and it's painful you want to use Scotland to leave.
You can't hold body too, who made your Scotland dream possible? Is it not this babe?
No hope that you two will pass through whatever together. That no matter what I will stand by you.
Face the fact that you don't love her and she can be easily changed. The way she hold you is not how you hold her.
Just let her go if you don't see a wife in her, if not marry her and be hopeful you guys will figure it out.
I do hope you make the right choice because as a lady for someone to do that for you she loves you unconditionally and that is beautiful. All the best.
Jonra: The funniest moments in my life all happened in or around Nsukka. You see, the first 8 years of my life was spent in that dusty university town; and for a boy who couldn't speak or write in English in 2001 (@ 8 years old), I'd have imagined that the funny moments would be those days I was learning to speak English in Primary 3 (Family moved to Lagos), no they were not! (Shoutout to my Primary 3 teacher and mother, they'd both translate English instructions to Igbo and back...)
Now the funniest day happened in 2011, my first year at the University of Nigeria Nsukka. I was in the department of Electrical Engineering playing the game of 'pretend-to-be' a serious student. Well maybe I was in my first year, I was good for it.
Sometime in April 2011, I was going to the Nnamdi Azikiwe Library after a restful afternoon at the hostel (Mbanefo) and at the steps of the main entrance to the library, I was caught by some black letters on a blue roll-over banner, it simply said - "Could it be you?" with a Unilever logo splashed about the background in different shades.
Yes, I became curious (still am, the child in me lives), and whipped out my Nokia E51, to visit the URL on the banner <unileverideatrophy.com>. What I saw blew me away, so AXE (Unilever deodorant, not the guys of the night ) were coming into the Nigerian market and were looking at tapping ideas from young 'uns like meself and other brilliant young Nigerians in a competition format event.
Officially, the communication was this - To give University students the opportunity to express their unique business ideas, be developed by professional business mentors and get a taste of after-school life, Unilever Nigeria has launched the Unilever Nigeria Ideatrophy competition.
My tails were up, I love competition (blame it on my upbringing), and I left the library after 30 minutes of thinking "Could it be me?" Long story short, I dialled Nnayere my friend from the same department and next-door neighbour (Room 412), and called on Lucky my room-mate (413, Mbanefo) - "Brothers something don happen, we have a challenge before us and we need to give it our best shot!"
All of us were freshers o, but we get mind. So we borrowed a Laptop from Brother Felix (My roommate, biochemistry lord and pastor). Thinking back, that laptop weighed like 20Kg. Mr Paul-Ugbe (Unilever) and a few other resource persons sent us presentation templates and we whipped up our presentations and sent them on 30th June 2011 (deadline day).
Everything was ready o until we were told we have to come to Calabar to defend our presentation on 15th July 2011 I was the only one aware of this new development and told the team a week before 'supposed' departure date.
Practice our presentation, no! Save money for travel, no! we just dey focus on CGPA until it was 12th July, when one of us asked, "Are we still going?" I said Yes, we are already there!
Told my people at home we are going on an excursion and needed some money, they paid, Nnayere did same, his people paid, Lucky's people said on the day of excursion, they'll pay.
So a day before the main event in Calabar, 14th July - we met at 5 a.m., committed the Journey into the Hands of "Our Father" and left for Enugu. Still unsure of this trip, because Lucky's people never still do the transfer. At about 9:13 am, the money came in, we were at Holy Ghost Enugu and were now sure this journey would happen if only we found a bus going to Calabar.
We found one, reached Calabar many hours later (about 5 hours, roads were better then). Then came another shocker, my guys no know say, we no get where to sleep. They thought we were going to the hotel for the main event (haqhaqhaq )
The shock on their faces when I asked our Taxi driver, "abeg sir we no get where to sleep this night, you fit to carry us go your house?" Now, I could say that because the person in question was the dad to a friend in my department; Gerard had given me past questions to give to his dad for his sister who was preparing for PUME that year.
The man bluntly said, "I have too many daughters for 3 capable boys to come camping for a night, I'll take you guys to somewhere cheap", He delivered us to 38 Ekpo Abasi (still have the receipt for our two nights there) and we met Okon the caretaker, paid N3k for the first night, went out that evening to eat our first Edika-Ikong and another dark soup; it was raining heavily on the way back, lost my slippers to rushing waters.
We went to the hotel the next day, not knowing what to expect, na so we enter the stage, with big camera's and tough-looking judges, a carnivorous audience and our small belief. Omo eh, Lucky collect mic, introduced himself, come talk say "now I hand the mic to my brother Sebastine(Nnayere) to continue with the presentation (ah! this was not the plan o!). Sebastine also took the mic, introduced himself and said "now I hand the mic to my brother Orakwe to continue with the presentation (ah bro! this was not the plan!)
Sink or swim time; I swam pretty brilliantly, but what happened at the end was like hitting your head hard at the end of the line. After all the wonderful suprisupri presentation and brilliant demonstration by the team; they asked us one (1) simple question - "How much do you need to make all of this possible?" i.e. to launch AXE deodorant into the Nigerian market ooooo
Na him I go make the biggest blunder of 2011, ladies and gentlemen, I said 1 Million Naira!!! (Damn Nigga 1 Mil naira not dollars)
Shaaa...I noticed the room temp dropped by 10 degrees. But at the end, one of the judges a Banker came up to us and said, we had the best presentation but 1 Million Naira guys, you shot yourselves in the foot!
Still laught about it till this day.
PS: I'm still a risk-taker and currently managing IT projects and doing great things with Virtual Reality (See my Offering Below)
Do you have an upcoming project that you want to showcase to clients and partners?
If you wish for your clients to tour your building even before a stone has been laid, a VR tour is your best bet.
See the VR tour of the upcoming Christ Embassy Healing School, Asese
My team is ready to bring your next project to life, simply share your CAD model (preferably REVIT) and we can start working our VR magic for your upcoming projects.
Emeraldgreene: [U are a fine looking chocolate candy bar! Let me tell u a secret ,some men like them skinny cos every man has a Type! Plus when u start having babies u're going to fill out some more in the right places! So u don't have to feel bad.Continue to be black,skinny and proud.I love you.mmuaah...quote author=Blackpearlous post=96388149] Black, skinny and proud
It took we a very long and rough ride through my teenage and adult years to come Into this conclusion.
Let me ride you through the beginning of time( not really just when my dad met my mum). My dad saw a very light skinned godess in Lagos and was bent on getting married to her, majorly because of her skin. He carries a distinct shade of black on every part of his body, even till now snapchat can't edit it away, so getting her was a do and die affair. Ofcourse he got her, if not there would be no one behind the phone typing now.
I was manufactured, if all of my remaining 6 siblings were manufactured in the same color, I think the world would have been a better place, Adolf Hitler would have been nicer and there would be no corruption in Nigeria. Nigeria's never ending corruption is the prove we were manufactured in different shades and sizes. #Hint: To stop corruption in Nigeria you have to go back in time and make sure we were born with the same skin color.
The competition was mad, from my own side mostly. I wasn't only dark skinned not like my father though but I was skinny, I have two big sis lighter than and I and figure 8, cars stopped for them, I always kept trekking, no attention, no free things, I tire, even at home my mum talked about her Glory days as a young woman but I had no story. Depressing.
I blamed all of my short comings always on the color of my skin and my weight. I was in Africa and I felt left out constantly. Especially when I was left out from an ushering job because my skin wasn't that attractive and I didn't have curves and my sisters were chosen, oh what a night!
I WASNT BEAUTIFUL my conclusion. So I wanted to feel beautiful. Smart me concluded that changing my skin would get me all the attention I wanted, I just wanted to be fine and big so I used as many lighting cream available and took to drugs to gain weight and curves.
Boom I was on my way to being perfect. On the look out for knuckle creams and was eating like "you know who" at a time. Every night my solace was the advances I got to reject, people could see me or guys could see me and they loved me, I was accepted because I wasn't dark anymore and I was curvy(or round, better than being skinny). I was always jealous of skinny, dark and confident girls, mtcheew what made them glow. Any body cream that makes me dark, I will say " this is not my color, this cream is not bringing out my color", I also deleted black pictures of myself online, but some of my friends were the pain in my ass, kept theirs.
Then I developed digestive issues, and my skin was super sensitive I could almost not put my feet on the ground when it's wet, yea that sensitive. These and low esteem was my price, because some days my skin was perfect some days i Iooked like the sun and my make up wasn't blending some days.
Sat on my bed one day( actually many days and nights) and I realized that I need to start Loving me and taking care of me, wasn't easy, I started looking dark again I was losing weight, the tongues were rolling again, I was hiding till I took all the strength I had and Introduced myself as the dark, skinny girl.
Started using, natural products, moisturizers, products that promises to maintain and started gaining weight at my own pace and was walking like I owned the whole world and I worked on my short comings as an individual, it was like a rebirth I attracted more reasonable people to myself, lived healthy, killed the invisible competition even got to know my sisters beyond their skin and curves, took rejection as casual as I could then I finally got to this point of being black, skinny and proud.[color=#990000][/color]
Mokuwe: [You really look skinny Sha, but very pretty. aquote author=Blackpearlous post=96388149] Black, skinny and proud
It took we a very long and rough ride through my teenage and adult years to come Into this conclusion.
Let me ride you through the beginning of time( not really just when my dad met my mum). My dad saw a very light skinned godess in Lagos and was bent on getting married to her, majorly because of her skin. He carries a distinct shade of black on every part of his body, even till now snapchat can't edit it away, so getting her was a do and die affair. Ofcourse he got her, if not there would be no one behind the phone typing now.
I was manufactured, if all of my remaining 6 siblings were manufactured in the same color, I think the world would have been a better place, Adolf Hitler would have been nicer and there would be no corruption in Nigeria. Nigeria's never ending corruption is the prove we were manufactured in different shades and sizes. #Hint: To stop corruption in Nigeria you have to go back in time and make sure we were born with the same skin color.
The competition was mad, from my own side mostly. I wasn't only dark skinned not like my father though but I was skinny, I have two big sis lighter than and I and figure 8, cars stopped for them, I always kept trekking, no attention, no free things, I tire, even at home my mum talked about her Glory days as a young woman but I had no story. Depressing.
I blamed all of my short comings always on the color of my skin and my weight. I was in Africa and I felt left out constantly. Especially when I was left out from an ushering job because my skin wasn't that attractive and I didn't have curves and my sisters were chosen, oh what a night!
I WASNT BEAUTIFUL my conclusion. So I wanted to feel beautiful. Smart me concluded that changing my skin would get me all the attention I wanted, I just wanted to be fine and big so I used as many lighting cream available and took to drugs to gain weight and curves.
Boom I was on my way to being perfect. On the look out for knuckle creams and was eating like "you know who" at a time. Every night my solace was the advances I got to reject, people could see me or guys could see me and they loved me, I was accepted because I wasn't dark anymore and I was curvy(or round, better than being skinny). I was always jealous of skinny, dark and confident girls, mtcheew what made them glow. Any body cream that makes me dark, I will say " this is not my color, this cream is not bringing out my color", I also deleted black pictures of myself online, but some of my friends were the pain in my ass, kept theirs.
Then I developed digestive issues, and my skin was super sensitive I could almost not put my feet on the ground when it's wet, yea that sensitive. These and low esteem was my price, because some days my skin was perfect some days i Iooked like the sun and my make up wasn't blending some days.
Sat on my bed one day( actually many days and nights) and I realized that I need to start Loving me and taking care of me, wasn't easy, I started looking dark again I was losing weight, the tongues were rolling again, I was hiding till I took all the strength I had and Introduced myself as the dark, skinny girl.
Started using, natural products, moisturizers, products that promises to maintain and started gaining weight at my own pace and was walking like I owned the whole world and I worked on my short comings as an individual, it was like a rebirth I attracted more reasonable people to myself, lived healthy, killed the invisible competition even got to know my sisters beyond their skin and curves, took rejection as casual as I could then I finally got to this point of being black, skinny and proud.[color=#990000][/color]
That's not me, I downloaded it online to give life to my story
It took me a very long and rough ride through my teenage and adult years to come Into this conclusion.
Let me take you to the beginning of time ( not really just when my dad met my mum). My dad saw a very light skinned godess in Lagos and was bent on getting married to her, majorly because of her skin. He carries a distinct shade of black on every part of his body, even till now snapchat can't edit it away, so getting her was a do or die affair. Ofcourse he got her, if not there would be no one behind the phone typing now.
I was manufactured! if all of my remaining 6 siblings were manufactured in the same color, I think the world would have been a better place, Adolf Hitler would have been nicer and there would be no corruption in Nigeria. Nigeria's never ending corruption is the prove we were manufactured in different shades and sizes. #Hint: To stop corruption in Nigeria you have to go back in time and make sure we were born with the same skin color.
The competition was mad, from my own side mostly. I wasn't only dark skinned (not like my father though) but I was also skinny, I have two big sis lighter than and I and figure 8, cars stopped for them, I always kept trekking, no attention, no free things, I tire, even at home my mum talked about her Glory days as a young woman but I had no story. Depressing.
I blamed all of my short comings always on the color of my skin and my weight. I was in Africa and I felt left out constantly. Especially when I was left out from an ushering job because my skin wasn't that attractive and I didn't have curves and my sisters were chosen, oh what a night!
I WASNT BEAUTIFUL my conclusion. So I wanted to feel beautiful. Smart me concluded that changing my skin would get me all the attention I wanted, I just wanted to be fine and big. I used as many lighting creams available and took drugs to gain weight and curves.
Boom! I was on my way to being perfect. On the look out for knuckle creams and was eating like "you know who" at a time. Every night my solace was the advances I got to reject, people could see me or guys could see me and they loved me, I was accepted because I wasn't dark anymore and I was curvy (or round, better than being skinny). I was always jealous of skinny, dark and confident girls, mtcheew what made them glow. Any body cream that makes me dark, I will say " this is not my color, this cream is not bringing out my color", I also deleted black pictures of myself online, but some of my friends were the pain in my ass, kept theirs.
Then I developed digestive issues, and my skin was super sensitive I could almost not put my feet on the ground when it's wet, yea that sensitive. These and low esteem were my price, because some days my skin was perfect some days i Iooked like the sun and my make up wasn't blending some days.
Sat on my bed one day( actually many days and nights) and I realized that I need to start Loving me and taking care of me, wasn't easy, I started looking dark again I was losing weight, the tongues were rolling again, I was hiding till I took all the strength I had and Introduced myself as the dark, skinny girl.
Started using, natural products, moisturizers, products that promises to maintain and started gaining weight at my own pace and was walking like I owned the whole world and I worked on my short comings as an individual, it was like a rebirth I attracted more reasonable people to myself, lived healthy, killed the invisible competition even got to know my sisters beyond their skin and curves, took rejection as casual as I could, then I finally got to this point of being black, skinny and proud.
Brunosamel: Am suffering from ulcer too,. Mine accumulated when I was in School, doctor said it wasn't bacteria nor NAIDS drugs but rather stress but am grateful it's under control...
Don't have money I would have gone for PPI or do surgery so that it will be totally removed from the stomach... Until then I have to keep taking my ulcer drugs on a regular basis...
My dear, take your medication serious, it's not a death sentence, I still eat any food that I want, drink alcohol and smoke sometimes...
Really nice... But I can't eat any food yet... Thanks
For the first time I would fly, it was worth missing my valedictory service for, my mum taught us to be discreet so I couldn't gloat or even tell my friends I would be flying to write my post utme. A lot of things ran through my mind, as discreet as I was trained to be, my mind was loud.
Can't remember how long it took us to get to Lagos from abuja, less than an hour? I don't care! Got to my aunt's place in Lagos and it was hell for me the few days I stayed angry.
My aunt and her children had varying degrees of ulcer so what was made was pepper-less and oil-less, and I would curse them from morning to night anytime I eat with a smile plastered on my face. Don't trust people always smiling o.
Didn't get admitted until three years later. During my 6months compulsory internship in my 300level I was Ill four times till it was confirmed I had ulcer. Most of my pain was from all the jest I made of my aunt and her children.
Drugs upon drugs, heartburns and gas trapped in my chest. Now I have been reduced also to a diet dairy and have to watch what I eat. I now get it, it was detrimental to them to eat those kind of food.
We don't have to be in people's shoes for us to be considerate and selfless in thoughts and deeds.
You might have sick siblings, spouse, friends around you, some of us are used to thinking they are faking it, yea some people do oversabi but we should still care for that asthmatic sis that doesn't want the windows open, that magraine prone bro that doesn't want noise and that diabetic mum that always ask you to help her boil unripe plantain. Take care of the sick even while you healthy.
Finally, sick people don't hype sicknesses too, stay strong and be full of faith.
N.B - The most common causes of peptic ulcers are infection with the bacterium Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) and long-term use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others) and naproxen sodium (Aleve). Stress and spicy foods do not cause peptic ulcers.
Career / Re: How Do You Handle A Difficult Boss? by Blackpearlous(f): 9:26am On Jul 10, 2021 
Got to my aunt's place in Lagos and it was hell for me the few days I stayed angry.
Most of my pain was from all the jest I made of my aunt and her children. 
but we should still care for that asthmatic sis that doesn't want the windows open, that magraine prone bro that doesn't want noise and that diabetic mum that always ask you to help her boil unripe plantain. Take care of the sick even while you healthy. 
good then