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Blacksta's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Blacksta's Profile › Blacksta's Posts

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Jokes Etc › Re: Yo Mamma Jokes by blacksta(m): 4:13pm On Aug 02, 2010
Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her
Forum Games › Re: Re: Post What's On Your Mind Right Now (Part 2) by blacksta(m): 4:10pm On Aug 02, 2010
@iice


What is the latest stats - sometimes last week it was 100 down and 300 2 go

any recent casualities  - Please share

and it looks like Mr Biology synthesis has hijacked your phrase

Just out of curiousity  - what do you  do to these people

grin
Jokes Etc › Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(op): 2:57pm On Aug 02, 2010
One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"
Jokes Etc › Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(op): 2:41pm On Aug 02, 2010
If you have to read it twice - Please do


Love u all.
Jokes Etc › My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(op): 2:40pm On Aug 02, 2010
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder.
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him,
-* "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it,the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.
He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:
-* "Look, go away! You´ve got the wrong man! I don´t want them!" Then he slams the door again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson Mandela loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him:
-* "Look, I don´t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
-* "You not Nissan Main Dealer?"
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:39pm On Aug 02, 2010
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder.
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him,
-* "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it,the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.
He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:
-* "Look, go away! You´ve got the wrong man! I don´t want them!" Then he slams the door again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson Mandela loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him:
-* "Look, I don´t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
-* "You not Nissan Main Dealer?"
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:38pm On Aug 02, 2010
Studio CFR:
U dey lust for another man property.
Mtchew
Bro be happy for me now -
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:32pm On Aug 02, 2010
[quote author=Naija_Sisi link=topic=488233.msg6496187#msg6496187 date=1280755835]lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed grin kiss[/quote]Mr Studio are you happy now


Thanks Naija Sis
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:29pm On Aug 02, 2010
Studio CFR:
U wish

Chai, person wey i think sey dem soji, na dem mumu pass
You wana make i prove am

Naija Sis  - Please answer Studio
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:27pm On Aug 02, 2010
An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"
"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered the blond wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:25pm On Aug 02, 2010
Dont worry - she dey locked down - na me be the guy.
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:22pm On Aug 02, 2010
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:20pm On Aug 02, 2010
Hold on - did not you were this hungry - your order coming up
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:15pm On Aug 02, 2010
A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed.
The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.

Sure, said the drunken man.

I'll find Jesus.

So the priest took the drunken man's head and dunked it into the baptismal
waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and coughing.

Damn, said the drunken man.

Are you sure he fell in there?
Forum Games › Re: Re: Post What's On Your Mind Right Now (Part 2) by blacksta(m): 2:12pm On Aug 02, 2010
Please no near me - valuables dey my pocket. lol shocked
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:09pm On Aug 02, 2010
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested.

Then God created man, and then they both rested.

Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:08pm On Aug 02, 2010
How body so far. any signs of a crack
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:08pm On Aug 02, 2010
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again."

The 85 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it's still a problem."

Then the 90 year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am.
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:06pm On Aug 02, 2010
How was your blind date ? "

" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "

" What's so terrible about that ? "

" He was the original owner ! "
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:05pm On Aug 02, 2010
AOL Support Call
AOL: America Online, this is Sue speaking.

Caller: Hi, I have some questions about American Online

before I join.

AOL: Okay, ma'am, what's your question?

Caller: Well, some of my friends who have AOL say they get

something called "CyberLove". Does this cost extra?

AOL: :::quiet laugh in the background::: Well ma'am, I

don't know how to explain this, but CyberLove is not part of

America Online.

Caller: Oh really? My friends said they got it from AOL.

AOL: Well it's something members typically do when they go

to a chat room.

Caller: Hmmmm . . . I don't understand, what is CyberLove??

AOL: I'm sorry, I really don't know how to explain it.

Caller: Hmmm . . . well, have you ever had CyberLove?

AOL: Ma'am, I don't think that's an appropriate question to

be asking me. Is there anything else you need?

Caller: Sorry, like I said I don't even know what it is.

AOL: That's okay ma'am, anything else?

Caller: Yes, I have one more question.

AOL: Go ahead . . .

Caller: What are you wearing?

AOL:
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 2:03pm On Aug 02, 2010
Oya wait - u don check out the last three -


make i give u a private naija sisi one - Hold on tight ooooo
Forum Games › Re: Re: Post What's On Your Mind Right Now (Part 2) by blacksta(m): 2:01pm On Aug 02, 2010
lol


My head don kill me 0000


The baby don do sex change overnight - 3 kids and a grandchild - - how old she be sef.
Jokes Etc › Re: Yoke Chat With Blacksta - Off D Record - But Small Spoil Body Dey Sha. by blacksta(op): 1:55pm On Aug 02, 2010
where r u
Food › Re: What Food Do You Hate? by blacksta(m): 1:50pm On Aug 02, 2010
[quote author=Naija_Sisi link=topic=483376.msg6495898#msg6495898 date=1280753242]grin

abeg make u continue spoil body sess, i dey wait o, i no wan small small o, me i wan crack waist[/quote]You know where to go - fresh materials dey wait for u

meet me at the joint

before they accuse us of derailing the thread -
Food › Re: What Food Do You Hate? by blacksta(m): 1:45pm On Aug 02, 2010
Where you left now - and u come look for me


na so life be.
Food › Re: What Food Do You Hate? by blacksta(m): 1:40pm On Aug 02, 2010
[quote author=Naija_Sisi link=topic=483376.msg6495841#msg6495841 date=1280752724]^^ as in bokoto (not sure of d spelling)[/quote]Correcto -

anyway long time.
Food › Re: What Food Do You Hate? by blacksta(m): 1:32pm On Aug 02, 2010
Cow leg. grin
Forum Games › Re: Word, Opposite by blacksta(m): 1:28pm On Aug 02, 2010
straight , bent
Jokes Etc › Re: The Most Annoying Words To Youth. Lol by blacksta(m): 12:42pm On Aug 02, 2010
cynthoney:
im a girl that gat all guys saying wow!!!
who dash u  - u wana make i post your pictures
Jokes Etc › Re: The Most Annoying Words To Youth. Lol by blacksta(m): 12:32pm On Aug 02, 2010
Poster  - u r suffering from dryjokeloccoutimnism and u need immediate surgery to correct this defect before it spreads  at that point  - na no return be that.  



Love u bro.  grin
Jokes Etc › Re: Pwease! Derail Me. . . I Beg Of You! by blacksta(m): 12:27pm On Aug 02, 2010
This thread does not need to be derailed - It had no sense of purpose in the first place.

"black tips a bucket of petrol in the already dying fire"
Jokes Etc › Re: 'i Want My Blood Back!' Says Boyfriend by blacksta(m): 12:23pm On Aug 02, 2010
black rams a fistfull of bounced payment pads down c_honey mouth and she love its

lol

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