₦airaland Forum

:p

who?

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids,

WOW, the social worker exclaims, are they ALL YOURS

Yep they are all mine, the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats.

Well, says the social worker, then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.

"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."

OK, and who's next?

" Well, this one he is Leroy, also."

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues, one by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!

All right, says the caseworker. I'm seeing a pattern here. . .Are they ALL named Leroy?

Their Momma replied, "Well, yes, it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell 'Leroy!'. An when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy' an they all comes a runnin. An if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin them all Leroy."

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you want just ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?

"Well then I just call them by their last names."

romade:
its blies, not bles.

Olodo!

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out on a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"

She smiles and they start kissing.

When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

"Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames

lysaa:
lol, i'm loving the drama. she;s getting better while another is getting badder. interesting.

wot r u on abt?

thot I'd share, worth a laugh!

Dumb Crook #1
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]


Dumb Crook #2
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER- STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!"

For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him.

The thief ran away and is still at large.

In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a Fxxk-up!"


Dumb Crook #3
Seems this guy in Arkansas wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.


Dumb Crook #4
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand against the patrol car.

"What you want me to do that for?", the crook asked.

"Just so we can get a positive ID.", the cop replied.

"Oh, OK.", said the crook, "that's her alright. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


Dumb Crook #5
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


Dumb Crook #6
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


Dumb Crook #7
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper

Two men were driving through Texas when they were pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK", the cop smacked him on the head with his nightstick.

"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.

"You're in Texas, son. When we pull you over in Texas, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car," the trooper said.

"I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, he's clean and gives the guy his license back. He then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.

The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK", the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What"d you do that for?" the passenger demands.

"I'm just making your wish come true," replied the Trooper.

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.

"Because I know your type," the trooper says, "two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, "I wish that a&&hole would've tried that **** with me!"

I couldnt have said it better even if I tried!

D1KeleVra:
What?. . . Studio would ride a horse? Amen!

BU HA HA HA!

Another?



beef burgers? sacre bleu! not in my land

white bed sheets? now thats more my style

I have been aped by many, even a beast of sexy nature

and no I am not the image of a certain french captain

say that again and I will fight you, umm maybe not.


who does this refer to?

done already.

fanx!

I think a 'd' is missing from that sentence. Assuming u r correct of course.

u know what they say abt wishes,

frank3.16:
blessing!!! do you want to get laid? cos u are acting like a girl in her heat period

studure, do better at creating an alias if you dont want to be found out.

Frank my left leg!

I think u must hate reading or must be a dumb a#$3, if you couldnt read/understand I already have someone minding my bizness!

nonsense!!!

nonsense!!

d_m:
nawa! how do you expect us to know all this. may be if i had seen this kind of riddle before i might be able to answer. nice one tho.

Castle shadow was the correct answer. that was brilliant but did u check that on google?lol

I'm glad u laughed at ur own insinuations.

d_m:
no idea again

i completed the vendetta of my sire - I finished of Saddam, completing my Dad's work

songbird of my fathers line imitated by maxwell - Kate Bush sang the tune later covered by Maxwell, father's line refers to the surname Bush

my kind are immortalized by the man with no name - the man with no name is the character played by Clint in his famous westerns, hence he immortalized Cowboys

I am George Bush

I didnt mind this my particular bizness, someone else is minding it for me. and doing a great job of it.

You're obviously having a laugh! after all its jokes formz right?

Keep on rocking, you neva hala!

Answer to ya second riddle,

How on earth can a pear tree produce plum?

Do you wanna attempt my other riddle?

I have slain dragons[b] i was a dragon slayer in reign of fire [/b]

I maybe american but i am not crazy i was an american psycho

my katra is of the gun and lethal i was a deadly exponent of gunkata in equilibrium

the jews prosecute me because of my name the jews prosecuted christians[b](my surname is christian) [/b]

my friends scream becuase they cannot see bats cant see, so they scream and see using sound radar

all these I am!


Who am I

u are christian bale

answer 1,

Castle's shadow.

Common man, surely we can do better.

I'm coming with the answer, On a meeting call.

nonsense!

my bizness is already being minded.

How can someone mind a bizness that is already being minded?

Romade, I dey too happy to answer una. I'm sure u've noticed.

more riddles can be found in Brain teaser 1 link

d_m, no mind all this wuru wuru people for hia.

I cant for the life of me figure out why ppl will not come straight with their gender! its quite annoying to think of - so I dont bother.
That ur riddle no interest me at all. bring another one.

attempt the thing now, eh D, no join all this ppl wey dey fear wrong ans. n attempt!

clemcykul:
honestly i also cant find love though ive tried

I began to think so too, until love found me. God made it posible, wouldnt have happened any other way.

In your case, you'll be the one looking though. Where are you looking?

surprised myself already. u're late!

Attempt the riddle? that could surprise me.