₦airaland Forum

Onila, You are not ashame of yourself, you posted picture of a girl beautiful than you and expecting me to make a bad comment about smoking?

If I see this babe, I go smoke cocaine just to be intimate with her

A serial killer broke into a house
and confronted a couple. The
serial killer asks "what are your
names? i would like to know my
victims' names before i kill
them". Then the woman said
"my name is Elizabeth Ekaitte". Then the killer said, "i will not kill you
because my mother is Elizabeth.
The killer then turned to Akpors and said "HEY YOU!!, what is your name?" then the responded,
"i am Akpors but my friends call me Elizabeth."

An ignorant man got married to a nice beautiful
young lady and God been so good he managed to
get the lady impregnated.
He sent her to the hospital for delivery. Soon
enough the doctor came by and told him

Doctor: mr. Akpors, your wife has given birth to a
bouncing baby boy

Mr Akpors: oh sure, ok doctor can i see them.

Doctor: oh yes u can

Mr. Akpors went inside and took
the baby in his
arms and in that instance threw the baby very high to land on the floor.

Doctor: ah!!!!!!! what is wrong wit U, what have U
done, are U crazy, are U mad, is something wrong
with U?

Mr Akpors: sorry doctor i only wanted to know how many times he can bounce..

A lady and Akpors were having drinks at the bar.
Later that night the woman whispered to Akpors,
"LET'S GO TO MY PLACE".
So they left.

At the woman's place they started kissing and undressing each other, then the lady whispered in the sexiest voice,
"TIE ME ON THE BED AND DO WHAT U DO BEST"~=D ~

Akpors tied her on the bed and...and...
ran away with her TV, Laptop, Blackberry, ipad and iphone.

Akpors is right back from school, tired and hungry

Mother: Akpors u are back?

Akpors: Yes mum..

Mother: What were u taught in school 2day?

Akpors: It's agriculture

Mother: Which topic?

Akpors: Desert.!

Mother: What is desert?

Akpors: A desert is a place where grass never grow

Mother: Gud boi..gv example?

Akpors: Uncle's head.

Exponental: poverty has modified his life n he seems not 2 know dat eating 3tyms a day is normal.

Guy, free her, it isnt a bad habit......
Can u remember ur pry schl days?

1..Some av food but cannot eat
2..some can eat but av no food
3..we av food n we can eat
glory be 2 Thee O Lord..
Always pray 4 d no 3!

O ja si jooh, what will he do if she sick too much? The boy who posted this and making it on frontpage should be taken to sharia court for 100 lashes of cain while Seun and his yeye moderators should not be let out with 20 inches of cain each for making this his younger brother post make frontpagge

warrior01: Abu kudi

this one fit make mess commot for anus

God have mercy on all islamic terrorist like boko haram,aqueda jihad,

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes, Akpos ran into d forest and d men followed him into d forest. Akpos got into d forest and climbed a tree. The two men got to d tree where Akpos is and did not know where he ran to angrily one of d men said dis boy don escape again, d other man said, no worry I know dis boy he is just a mumu if I call his name like 3 times he must answer....
Akpos laughed from d tree and said to d men "hahahaha if u like call my name from now till next year I no go answer u, U think say na Akpos of before be dis?...=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°

CHESSBOARD: Moderator, you wont put this in front page now, to alert parents these Ember months...if its Tonto Dike with Cigarette it will appear "sharply"

you never mention Dbanj and Davido, nairaland moderators are not different from nigerian police

Suzie: Nice phone baby. Where did you buy it?

Akpors: I won it in a running race!

Suzie: How many people participated?

Akpors: It was the MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME

Akpors goes to the post office, he buys an envelope from the cashier and then screams into envelope.

The cashier asks him, "why are u screaming into the envelop"

Akpors answers,
"I am sending a voice mail"

Akpors saw his father and mother in bed "at it" so he asked,
"daddy, what are you doing?"
His father replied,
"I am beating your mummy"

Akpors thought for a while (with a sad face) and said,
"Mama, but what offense at all have you committed in this house? Today four different men have beaten you, first was the gateman Idrissu, then Abuga the painter, that albino postman also beat youand now daddy, WHYYYYY?"

Akpors' father had a heart attack.

KateSpade: I'd take those

I wish you are in front of me right now so I can slap your mouth for saying that