₦airaland Forum

princemillla:
Prof Is loosing it faster that I ever imagined.

Home calling is looming

He is not. This is not what you think.

It's about institutionalizing the programmes so that next government will continue with it.

Wow!

Good one Mr. President. One of the problems we've been having in this country is lack of continuity. New government brings programmes and after their tenure expires the programme terminates. But with this move the NSIP will be added to a ministry and it'd continue even after PMB's tenure for the benefit of Nigerians.

This is a good development. I've always believed in the capacity of Prof. Yemi Osinbajo, GCON, SAN to transform our economy. Forget the haters, he's the best Vice President ever.

#Osinbajo2023

Those miscreants who spread rumours about the Star boi won't like this. Bad news for them

Laughing so hard.
Y'all keep saying rubbish while the VP's profile keep rising higher.

It is really funny how PDP rats are now focused on spreading all sorts of fib against our own � boi.

He is not disturbed by your efforts to distract him. He is focused, determined, resilient and dedicated.

I implore everyone reading this to kindly ignore. This is another tactics to distract this government.

Bad belle people at it again!!
This is a fake news and should be debunked by all.

This news is really disgusting. What does it profit you to parade fake news. Very fake!!!

Anyone can make such mistakes. The easiest way to get the on your site these days is to mention Prof. Osinbajo's name. Na wa oo

eTECTIV:
D VP has now finally been restricted to d mere commissioner ... VP will now get approval from Abba Kyari lol.. Even d condolences will now b under d Ministry of Humanitarian affairs lol.. Dis is some next level shit

Go and buy sense bro...you don't have it. Rubbish

It's surprising how this raw face liar and professionally corrupt cretin is trying to seek public sympathy by saying this garbage. We all know your evil and crooked deeds. Now that the crimes are hunting you, you resort to lies and shamelessly saying this to attract pity. Keep the Vice President out of this. You've got your cross to carry, man.

Lol

Lol

Lol

Lol

The cost of that cake can buy a range rover Holland

HEALTH BENEFITS OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.

Your health is your wealth. A good health is crucial to your continuous existence.

They are various hidden benefits of the foods we take in everyday. These benefits helps in one way or the other to either combat disease(s) or serve as a longlasting remedy that keeps us alive, healthy and strong.

Health experts has advised that eating of fruits regularly is the same like adding to your life another 10 years.
Find below the benefits of fruits and vegetables for a safer health.

BANANAS
•Protect your heart.
•Strengthen bones.
•Control blood pressure
•Block diarrhea.

BEANS
•Prevent constipation.
•Help hemorrhoids.
•Lower cholesterol.
•Combat cancer.
•Stabilize blood sugar.

BROCCOLI
•Strengthens.
•Saves eyesight.
•Combats cancer.
•Protects your heart.
•Controls blood pressure.

CABBAGE
•Combats cancer.
•Prevents constipation.
•Promotes weight loss.
•Protects your heart.
•Helps hemorrhoids.

CARROTS
•Save eyesight.
•Protect your heart.
•Prevent constipation.
•Combat cancer.
•Promote weight loss.

CAULIFLOWER
•Protects against Prostate Cancer.
•Combats Breast Cancer.
•Strengthens bones.
•Banishes bruises.
•Guards against heart disease.

GARLIC
•Lowers cholesterol.
•Controls blood pressure.
•Combats cancer.
•kills bacteria.
•Fights fungus.

GRAPEFRUIT
•Protects against heart attacks
•Promotes Weight loss
•Helps stops strokes
•Combats Prostate Cancer
•Lowers cholesterol

GRAPES
•Save eyesight.
•Conquer kidney stones.
•Combat cancer.
•Enhance blood flow.
•Protect your heart.

GREEN TEA
•Combats cancer.
•Protects your heart.
•Helps stops strokes.
•Promotes weight loss.
•Kills bacteria.

HONEY
•Heals wounds.
•Aids digestion.
•Guards against ulcers.
•Increases energy.
•Fights allergies.

LEMONS AND LIME
•Combat cancer.
•Protect your heart.
•Control blood pressure.
•Smoothen skin.
•Stop scurvy.

MUSHROOM
•Controls blood pressure.
•Lowers cholesterol.
•Combats cancer.
•Strengthens bones.

OLIVE OIL
•Protects your heart.
•Promotes Weight loss.
•Combats cancer.
•Battles diabetes.
•Smoothens skin.

ONIONS
•Reduce risk of heart attack.
•Combat cancer.
•Kill bacteria(bactericidal).
•Lower cholesterol.
•Fight fungal infections.

ORANGES
•Support immune systems.
•Combat cancer.
•Protect your heart.
•Straighten respiration.

PINEAPPLE
•Strengthens bones.
•Relieves colds.
•Aids digestion.
•Dissolves warts.
•Blocks diarrhea.

STRAWBERRIES
•Combat cancer.
•Protect your heart.
•Boost memory.
•Calm stress.

SWEET POTATOE
•Save your eyesight.
•Lift mood.
•Combat cancer.
•Strengthen bones.

TOMATOES
•Protect prostate.
•Combat cancer.
•Lower cholesterol.
•Protect your heart.

WALNUTS
•Lower cholesterol.
•Combat cancer.
•Boost memory.
•Protect against cardiovascular diseases.

WATER
•Quenches thirst.
•Combats cancer.
•Conquers kidney stones.

WATERMELON
•Protects prostate.
•Promotes weight loss.
•Lowers cholesterol.
•Helps stops strokes.
•Controls blood pressure.
•Fights dehydration.

APPLES
•Protect your heart.
•Prevent constipation.
•Prevent diarrhea.
•Improve lung capacity.
•Cushion joints.

AVOCADOS
•Battle diabetes.
•Lower cholesterol.
•Help stops strokes.
•Control blood pressure.
•Smoothen skin.

Have a lovely weekend.

You are gearing up to travel home for the yuletide season. Mum expecting you. Dad couldn’t wait to see you. Siblings are happily awaiting your arrival. It’s been quite long. 1 year, 2 years gone; perhaps, 5. The home memories will soon be read in a while - both good and bad. Your absence has been felt deeply. You couldn’t wait to grab the breathe of ‘home’ version of harmattan.

12 hours interval, you reached home. They welcome you with that special native meal. Meal you have missed. Your love for Indomie couldn’t allow you prepare it in school. You eat with relish, bringing out that watery substance out of your nose (not mucus, probably due too much pepper). You discuss your journey with your excited siblings, even as they listen with rapt attention.

Yes! You are the celebrity of the house. Piles of gist await you. While your siblings await you for a gossip. Dad and mum are waiting to engage you in a tet-a-tet at separate times. Same way, little niece is waiting for you to finish eating. So she can drag you to the room and show you that beautiful Christmas dress of hers, and also, sing and play the rhythm of Christmas songs for you on her toy guitar/piano.

1day gone, you just finished from morning prayer. You come out to see those neighbours. Neighbors looking you up to down in order to have one thing or two to say. They end up talking about your cheeks. How it has grown so fat because of enjoyment. How you have become a ‘man’. You give a nasty smile and move inside, to prune the elongated greeting.

Soon you hit the road. En route to ‘area’ to see those homies. It’s been years of no meeting. No playing of football together. No sitting outside late, discussing football. No strolling. No sitting down to talk about those wicked teachers at school.

On your way, you see that nursery school of yours. Almost 20 years ago, you still remember that ugly incident that happened to you between you and your classmates. Obviously, several beatings you received from each of them after school hours, because you were asked by your class teacher to flog them in class because they couldn’t answer questions you were able to answer. A punishment too. A ‘pick-pin’ you were given by Mr. koboko for failing to complete your assignment. You smile and say to yourself ‘how time flies’.

Beside the school is where you use to sneak out during break period to buy “ojukwu finger”. Sadly, the shop has been converted to a football viewing centre. The thought comes on you to sit there for a while and sip soft drink. But yet another – to tour the city more and see changes.
Still on your way, you see those little kids of 2000s. All grown up with ostrich legs, limes on the chest and ‘fearful makeover’ with no announcement that they are teenagers. You begin to wonder if manure was used to accelerate their growth. You immediately, remember the popular saying “the young shall grow.” The guys also, with sagged trousers. Hair sprayed. Depicting juvenile delinquency.

Again, you smile, but this time, inwards not to appear foolish. Because they are looking at you directly to your eyes, but couldn’t say ‘hi’ because of developing ego.
In a moment, your mindset towards that little town you grew up changed. You quickly adjust and conclude on your approach to meet old people. Just after that, you meet that not-too-close friend. Obviously, he lives down the street. He sees you, but feels you will ignore him, due to forming, based on the level he assumed you to be, after leaving home for a while. Your mind is clear. Obviously smiling as you both approached each other only for him to pass without exchanging greetings. You feel bad, but notwithstanding, you move on.

That popular cyber café is where you normally congest with your OFA (Old Friends Association). There’s expansion, probably due to proper management. You decide to check one or two homies in there. And truly, you met that childhood friend of yours, a member of your OFA, registering Jambites. Immediately, you remember that name given to him by another OFA based on his addiction, then. “Ayam-ete” aka “bottom coolerman.” You both hugged and handcuff to the admiration of Jambites even as their eyes are placed directly on you to fathom the meaning of the nasty nickname.
A useless pride suddenly enters you. You now remember that you are in your Finals. You look at the Jambites with disgusts and say to yourself ‘when I was a jambite like you...”

Your friend takes excuse from BOSS, “Sir, I want to go and eat, he said,” so he can sit with you in a joint somewhere, gist, eat and sip from bottles.

Three, four bottles gone already – the holiday has just begun.
You both discuss school life, chicks, and indeed, those weird memories of childhood. You exchange contacts once again, and again, handcuffed.

Two hours exhausted, your phone rings. A voice call from mum. “where have you been, son? You left without telling anyone.” Apparently, She still nurses that mindset that ‘Obi is a boy,’ Obi remains a boy every year. You are ‘26’ already, but she still feels you are ‘10.’

In few minutes, you arrive home. You meet that very long time family friend. ‘Good day, ma’ - Ah! My son! She calls you name you never heard before till that day. “Jogo boi, Inyang-ete, Ukani Odiem-Irishi, na you don big like this?” she now throw one unfunny joke to further buttress the excitement of your parents who by this time, are smiling uncontrollably. “I remember when you were a kid, you use to cry whenever you see an ant or any moving thing, and also, afraid of anybody wearing black cloth. I hope that has stopped now. See your bears, isn’t it too long? Reduce it my dear” You get pissed. But you didn’t show it, perhaps not to ruin the happy moment. She went further to advice you about women. At this juncture, you move a step forward to give her signal to stop her too much talk. She stops, but turn-over to parents to continue the chat.

The clock clicked fast and fast. Its Christmas day already; that special Christmas aroma rents the air. Perhaps, the meal of someone somewhere is ready. Mum wakes you up to go kill that chicken outside. Younger ones are in the parlour watching Christmas movie. Dad in the kitchen monitoring the cooking (obviously, he loves good food). There is cacophony outside, from distance, emanating from the ritual display of masquerade “ekpo” celebrating the Christmas - A wrong understanding of the reason for the season.

The day is almost dark, you are still grinding your teeth, battling with that bone and gushing out saliva. The house is calm. Before now, your big bro had already apprised you of the “happening place in town” where you two and some of your OFA can chill and sip from those green bottles. Kids moves at day, adults move at evening, legends move at night. You try to perturb dad to give you key to his ride. Dad declines because he still feels “Obi is a boy.” You perturb and perturb. Pester and pester. Dad finally agrees and decides that your older brother be the pilot.

In those dungaree-denim jeans with ‘akon black’ Giorgio Armani polo, a pair of stiff-rill brown air max shoes to blend; you hit the road with your bro to the club to have a nice time. On reaching the club, you were amazed to see little kids of yesterday smoking and rocking big butts. They try to show familiarity, but you, irked by this disgusting sight, made a long hiss and zoom out because of the intoxicated smoke of cigarette that occupies the air also. After a while, you reach your bro for you two to go home to avoid a possible melodrama by dad. Perhaps, you had before that time taken a bottle or two and eaten Suya with one of your OFA you stumbled on.
The Christmas day celebration has come to an end.

Its 31st December. Your inbox is busy already with the New Year wishes. After church service, you are at home making plans to attend that highly anticipated New Year Eve Service by 10pm. Those niggas out there in the streets have already set tires aside to be burnt and lit up the street tonight. Yes, they even argued how New Year Celebration hits more than Christmas. Perhaps, because of the fact that it is been celebrated by non-Christians, too.

Just few minutes before Bishop declares the New Year open, you begin to search those old contacts on your phone to wish them well.
You quickly switch on your data to go on social media platforms and be the first to wish those your esteemed friends New Year. Yes! You begin to write down your new year resolutions. The new year bring loads of blessings because it is your new dawn.

Finally, the holiday is over. You are set to hit the road back to school. Mum starts preparing packages for you to take along. Little did she know that you detest carrying loads. Physical cash is by far the best option for you. At this juncture, since mum insists you carry something, you parcel 6 fingers of ripe plantain so you can fry ‘dodo’ when you reach school. Again, you remember “Afang Leaves.” Ewww.. your girlfriend loves it so much. She even reminded you when coming. You quickly make a swift response; hastily place a call on mama Itoro who sells Afang Leaves down the street to bring 4 ties for you.

At exactly 6am, you about to go. Your siblings will miss you greatly. Mum blesses you and once again, says a word or two to your ears. Inside you, you have heard enough. All what is in your mind is to leave early so you can join first bus. Dad prays with you and anoints your head with that special anointing oil he brought from Canaan Land. Siblings bid farewell even as tears tries to drop from your already watery eyes. You immediately remember the words of Puss in the blockbuster Animation movie "Shrek,": “No matter what happen, I will not cry.” You cheer up and wave incessantly until dad zooms off to park.

“This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased. Give am better sit, even if you say make I pay double, I go do am. But make him just de comfortable dats all.” These were the words of your dad, obviously referring to the ‘Agboro’ (a young man in his late 30s, putting on a faded black polo with an inscription written in white “weed keeps me going”) who hastily grabbed your bag as he flounder to the boot of the vehicle as if he lacks energy. He soon load your bag but exclaimed that there's stone inside. You just smiled because deep down of you, you know the heaviness is from that your '4inch-sole' brown shoe in there.

The clock tickle fast and you are already 150kilometres away from home. You begin to recall how everything went back there at home. Just before you lay down your head to continue round 2 of the sleep. You were distracted by a harsh sound from your vehicle. "Wake up, wake up! We don reach Makurdi, make we find something eat first before we continue to Abuja"

You now realize that you have been in the dream world all these while.
"For real?."Makurdi?
"Oh yeah! You have been sleeping since we started this journey."
A passenger retort. (laughing at you mockingly).

(Curtain slowly falls)

(c) Brightest Okuta

Institution : University of Abuja
level : 400 level
Course : Economics

A very smart thief with great connection

OP, the pics you provided is not Dauda Mohammed.
That's Yinka Gbadebo also a former NANS President. pls

Attached herewith, is my resume for your perusal, Sir.

The above is the best!

Yea, I rep Uniabuja all the way.

I just weak for some people.
To the best of my knowledge, Game Of Thrones is the best TV series/Seasonal Movies I have ever seen..

These are the reasons:
Best plot
Carefully planned story line
Complex characters
Scintillating visual graphics
Extra ordinary manifestation
Professional acts
Soundtracks, suspense, plot, graphics, I mean everything just seems real.

OP, continue watching cartoons or jennifer diary. As for me, am strongly anticipating Season 7 of the Block buster "Game Of Thrones".

Get that into your head.

Olalan:
Relationship is beautiful only if you're with the right person, but unfortunately girls see the right person as the person with enough cash to spend around while guys see the right person as one who can satisfy their sexual cravings.
If your relationship wouldn't survive if sex and materialism is taken out of it , I guess you need to reconsider such relationship.

You deserve a medal

Husty:
It's in their blood, awon ti headwarmer gang

He's a Yoruba boy "Okoyekola. (Not IPOB) Think straight pls

Girls with open teeth for centre can fork for Africa.

SexyNairalander:
Just for fun

I know 90% of people here on nairaland still live with most of the habbit they started as a child

mine is kicking of stone anytime I walk on the road and I sight a fine stone to kick

also dipping my hand inside my boxer while watching an interesting movie or doing something interesting

Watching cartoon and testing food in the fire.

iamVirus:
wow!

smooth

Corruption is when you post a thread and still be the first to comment on it.

couragekebs:
u warn am abi? u couldn't warn your own self of ur impending defeat.. u saw it buh u didn't see ur own as regards senate chair... no worry, person don see ur own for 2019... yeye polithiefcian...

Olodo...was he defeated He wasn't. Just that minority cant lead the house that's why he is an ordinary senator now. PDP his party became minority after APC won majority of the house.