₦airaland Forum

you showed the horse ur small privates to make it laugh and u cried and lamented at how embarrassed u are at ur small endowment to make it stop laughing.

marching

@clemcykul
LOL!
you are 1 hell of a babe

commence

@ben~jay

hope you have finally paid your debts to the school.
I can imagine the travails the money loving chic put you through

@kingdons

The Federal Ministry of Health warns that chewing dry garri will make you go bald. It can also lead to severe pains in the anus when shitting.

olopa

@lamidebaby

you are right, but am sure you will agree with me that the nigerian version potrays what orji kalu would most likely do to Obj if they were ever in that situation together

By all Means, MARRY!



I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi



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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates



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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas



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The great question, which I have not been able to answer, is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison



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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once,

Anonymous

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Former Governor Orji Uzo Kalu, Agbani Darego (Miss World 2001), and Former Aviation Minister Kema Chikwe are sitting in a train going through a dark tunnel.

Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then, a slap - Gbosaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!

The train comes out of the tunnel into daylight. The women and Orji Uzo Kalu are sitting there, looking perplexed, because everyone heard the slap, but nobody was sure were it came from.

Obasanjo is bent over, holding his face which is even 'blacker' from the slap. All of them remain diplomatically/fearfully quiet and nobody says anything, least of all, sorry!

Chikwe is thinking: "Nigerian men are all crazy and even these ones here are all lusting after Agbani. Obasanjo must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. It is quite proper that she slapped him - good for him".

Agbani is thinking: "Mr President must have moved to kiss me, and got slapped, but by whom?"

Obasanjo is thinking: "Damn it, Orji must have tried to kiss Agbani, she thought it was me and slapped me, but could this little girl do such a thing without fear?"

Kalu is thinking: "If this train goes through another dark tunnel, I WILL make another kissing sound and tear baba (Obasanjo) another slap, again".

this was really funny.
it had me laughing my lungs out 

your second post should have been on as a separate post.
anyways that particular joke is very stale, it has appeared on this board several times.

@ poster
1. the topic has no relationship with your post.
2. it is not funny
3. it is blasphemous
4. u have no sense of humor
5. u need to get a life
6. improve your grammar, (it currently sucks).

very funny
naija okada riders still have a lot of catching up to do.

u will never catch me watching a nollywood movie

nothing dey happen
no long thing

subject

shoplifter

shop

vernacular

naija no dey come last!!!

yawa

wahala

trouble

clemcykul:
how possilbe is that iteun? have sex wid herself when virile males like me are available please just send them 2 me because u know i can make anylady happy

have you suddenly gone for a sex change surgery
all of us know you are a female,
if na joke stop am o!

Macho

Bush is at it again, he is widely reputed for verbal faux pas. I wonder how he managed to pass elementary school

sterile

heaven

a stale joke is one that has already been posted by someone else on the this board!!!!

easy

nice joke, but stale!!!!

@ razor you rock!!!

you got me giggling madly in the office.

nice one

there was this guy who used to sleep on the top bunk next to mine, he was making noise after 'lights out'. the house captain caught him and punished him by asking him to stand on top of his bed. The guy dozed off while standing and fell to the ground from the top bunk.

we used to pluck fresh corn from agric farm and roast them in the kitchen at night after the cooks would have gone home.

during night prep, sleeping from about 9pm was a very big risk. my whole class would go to great lengths at maintaining absolute quiet so that the sleepers will not wake up at the end of night prep (10pm). the guys were left to make the awfully frightening 20 minutes walk through the valley of the shadow of darkness alone at about 1am to the hostel. many did not have the liver to walk back, they simply endured the mosquito infested classrooms till morning.

we bought a baby feeding bottle for this guy who loved drinking milk so much, and whenever we wanted to look for the guy's wahala we would fill the bottle with milk and call him the way u would call a baby to come and drink milk.

school had so many great memories