Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,577 members, 7,820,075 topics. Date: Tuesday, 07 May 2024 at 09:21 AM

Bryanarchie's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Bryanarchie's Profile / Bryanarchie's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (of 5 pages)

Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:51am On Jan 31, 2019
ifyalways:
Are you not the lady that sorted her child support wahalajust the other day?

Are these blog stories aka figment of your imagination or what undecided

Goodmorning MA,

It's not a blog story but my life story, I was advised by many to seek reconciliation and I considered it...
Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:49am On Jan 31, 2019
cococandy:
I don’t sense any team work here. You guys could benefit from a family budget. Stick to the budget and who brings what to the budget. Fair share.

Why was it on you to get your family a new generator?
Why do have to beg him for money after spending yours on the family’s need? Why was he recording your disputes to play for his family?

That’s not the action of someone who wants peace. He should know that will spook the flames all over again.

Seriously if you guys are going to stay together but he declines going to counseling , then you have to be the one make clear the things you can accept or not. And you also should try to make your points without abusive words. When you do that, that’s all they remember. Not the point you’re trying to make.

His family should have tried to made peace between both of you instead of lashing out at you and your child. Nobody likes when others gang up on them. He made the video to show his parents so that they could turn on you and they did. I don’t see a better ending than you walking out at that moment. Walking out to avoid responding badly to his parents was a good choice. You might have said something you could NEVER take back. If you have apologized for walking out, free your mind. You have done your part. You also deserve to be respected.

He should be willing to contribute as much as you to the family both financially and otherwise.

Thank you...

Yes, my character flaw is shouting and abusing when angry and I'm working on it and that's I have taken out the walking out mode...

He said he can do without a generator but me I sincerely can't because I hate candles and I talked to him about my plans.


He actually told me not to come to his parents house because he had no money but insisted because his dad has been sick all year and I had promised a visit.

He gives 10,000naira for his child's upkeep and I was asking for a raise by 5000naira because of the generator and transport fare back.
Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:38am On Jan 31, 2019
[quote author=thorpido post=75274922]You both do not have a solid foundation.I don't know how old you both are but your are acting as teenagers.
What's with all these little quarrels and next thing move out.

If you really want this marriage,apologize to him and his father if need be.
Sit him down and really talk about your marriage.Make him accept his misdemeanor too.Agree to start on afresh and community icate when there are issues and not just pack out pack out.smh[/quote


Yes, I have apologized and accepted my shortcomings but he still insists that he has done nothing wrong and is just coming for back because of his child...

We have agreed to come back together but my issue is the division of our financial responsibility because I feel cheated and it will make me react to certain issues unnecessarily...

Who is to pay the rent when both earn equally and I'm taking up 80oercent of our family monthly expenses?

He is insisting on not contributing any dime at all..
Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:31am On Jan 31, 2019
yvelchstores:
Ur father in law begged u not to go, u still went. God is gracious and kind, I would have said u deserve what is going on.

Eventually when your head calm down, u will so regret everything. Who ever or what ever is pushing u should continue. But u go hear am.

Advise, go to the family and beg them.... If your pride will allow u cos the pride is already up to your neck, but it's choking u sis.

My dear, Yes I am proud but with my in-laws I dropped it a long time...

You don't know my story please don't judge...

My mother-in-law has actually apologized for her actions that night but I'm still hurt because she said some things against my son, her grandson and blood and I feel terribly hurt by the words said against an innocent child...

4 Likes

Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:20am On Jan 31, 2019
Chubhie:
The nature of the quarrel that made you walkout on the family must be too grievous.

It's not about this quarrel but I guess it was a trigger...

I took a salary advance of 70,000naira with my husband s knowledge to get us a generator because ours was bad and then made a trio to see his dad and on getting there, I asked he please support us with our transport back home and he said because he said he never invited me there but I begged and he considered it.

With the salary advance I will be getting 25,000naira as my December salary and he still had his full salary of 95,000naira and I was asking for 15,000naira support...

Later, he came again to me and said no that he won't and then I got angry and we quarrelled.

He recorded our quarrel and played it for the family and his mom went all out on me saying a lot of things against me and my child.

My purpose of leaving was to avoid responding because I have that tendency to do that...

Note I said a lot of abusive words to him...

Cc: cococandy
Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 5:10am On Jan 31, 2019
yvelchstores:
Ur father in law begged u not to go, u still went. God is gracious and kind, I would have said u deserve what is going on.

Eventually when your head calm down, u will so regret everything. Who ever or what ever is pushing u should continue. But u go hear am.

Advise, go to the family and beg them.... If your pride will allow u cos the pride is already up to your neck, but it's choking u sis.

Yes, he actually did but my mother-in-law asked me to leave and lot was being said about me and my child.

I walked to avoid responding to his mother because yes I'm hot or short tempered and never wanted respond.

I felt humiliated and betrayed..
Family / Re: Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 10:12pm On Jan 30, 2019
CityNGR:
Go for counseling.

He doesn't want to...

1 Like

Family / Help Save Our Marriage... by bryanarchie: 10:09pm On Jan 30, 2019
Dear family,

I need your opinion in this dilemma.. Our marriage has gone through it all but I'll give a summary...

Last year December, we had a quarrel in his family house and I left (we were just visiting( and I left without his notice or fathers pleas.

I traveled back to our home and he never looked for us or checked on us.

I felt really sad and humiliated and I sent him a text that I'm done with the marriage but I later called and apologized for the message and my facebook post and asked we moved on but he objected, saying it had gone too far.

He called me days later and said, he was done with the marriage and all...

Immediately, I got a house and moved my stuffs out and he said I can move out with everything (which I did(...

And then he called again asking me how we will sort out our rent this year and then I reminded him that he told me he was done with the marriage and I had moved out my stuffs...

He then tries to deny that he ever told me that but I insisted and I was ready to swear with my life before he accepted.

He comes back form his holiday and we talk about everything and we decide to settle it all but he tells me he has to seek his family's view and they may disown him if he settles back with me...

My main issue is we split the family monthly expenses 80:20, I'll be doing 80 because of his msc program but I insisted he has to refund me the rent money I paid for the house because I got it from shop and I have to restock it.

He says no that he will not contribute a dime for the rent but he will move in with me because it's a taboo for me to have moved out and he won't pay...

We earn the same money and I feel cheated paying our annual rent and still taking up 80oercent of the responsibility...

Please I'm putting it out here to get a non-biased view on this issue... Thank you

1 Like

Family / Re: How Was Your First Year Of Marriage? by bryanarchie: 9:07pm On Jan 23, 2019
bobobooge:


Would you love to share dear, strictly at your jurisdiction, exactly what went wrong.

I feel there will be something important to learn from you most especially for some of us who have that 'gut feeling' for our intended spouse.

Thanks

@ ur last sentence; I like how you still believe in love and marriage despite the odds.

Yeah... I definitely believe in love and If I can't get true love then let me die alone...

There were a lot of signs, so many but I chose to ignore...

I was the side chick that got pregnant...

7 Likes

Family / Re: How Was Your First Year Of Marriage? by bryanarchie: 10:54am On Jan 23, 2019
My first year of marriage was horrible and filled with tears...

The marriage was built on a faulty foundation, went ahead against my gut feeling because of pleasing my parents and Society...

Two years down and I walked away because forever is a long time to be unhappy...

I'm done with love, relationships and marriage...

I truly loved him with every fiber of my existence...

Moving forward...


Love and marriage is wonderful with the right person...

4 Likes

Family / Re: Our Childs Welfare..we Need Your Advice... by bryanarchie: 6:44am On Jan 23, 2019
Chommieblaq:
Let's keep sentiment apart and be realistic.
Is the 20k fixed or subject to increase when the child starts schooling,

If it's subject to increase then i think it's unfair for someone with 95k salary, I know you both pay rent, plus other responsibilities, 95k is nothing in today's economy.

Try and reach an agreement with him, if it involves getting someone you both listen to, please do.

So that when the child starts schooling, it won't be another tug of war to collect school fee.



Yes, it's subject to increase by September and will be reviewed every year...

We've agreed on the sum of 20,000naira each...

4 Likes

Family / Re: Our Childs Welfare..we Need Your Advice... by bryanarchie: 3:05am On Jan 23, 2019
jakandeola:
if I tell u bad word u will hate urself.u are a wicket woman. is it not same salary u earn yet u want 20k from him. sware u will use all that 20k on the baby. see as a man did u know his challenges of course he may want to be saving in bank and trying to build property for the baby. he has his parent to take care of his younger ones. what if he wants to remarry? wont he get small savings. what is 95k in naija today. school fees 15k for a term. how many cloth or food does baby eat? understand pls that 20k is much if u too love ur baby can't u spend on her too . am sorry I hate divorce I wish u are together the money 95k *2 is enuf. I wish u d best dear.

Why you choose to judge me, please remember that I also have to pay the house rent where both I and our child will live, I have parents and siblings too, I may also remarry too, I definitely will want to own a property too...

The monthly fee required to take care of my child every month is 40000naira excludes healthcare...

Since we both earn the same salary, I decided to split it evenly and I believe that is fair...

11 Likes

Family / Our Childs Welfare..we Need Your Advice... by bryanarchie: 12:51pm On Jan 17, 2019
Hello.

I just recently seoerated from my husband and we cant seem to agree on the amount he should contribute to our childs welfare...

We have just a child and we both earn 95,000naira resoectively...

I'm asking for 20,000naira monthly from him for our child this includes his daycare fee and excludes healthcare..

He is stating he cant afford it and i have decided to take it uo with the ministry of social welfare...

The said amount will be reviewed and will be subject to increase by seotember when he starts school...

I would love to also seek the view of nairalanders...thank you
Family / Re: House Clearance Sales.. Come In Here!!!! by bryanarchie: 11:39am On Dec 02, 2018
Oniemo:
Hi. I have the following items for sale.

1. 24" LED Samsung TV 40,000
2. Haier Thermocool midi refrigerator 45,000
3. Dstv decoder and dish 8,000
4. 1.8kva Firman generator 48,000
5. 6kg camp gas 10,000

All used under one year and in good working condition.

If interested, WhatsApp me on 0 7 0 6 5 3 8 4 8 2 7

Brandnew 1.8kva generator is 35,000

8 Likes 1 Share

Crime / Re: How A Lady, Airforce Officer & Others Were Almost Killed During Kaduna Crisis by bryanarchie: 12:41pm On Oct 27, 2018
Asquare84:
I thought ql1there was curfew so why are u risking your life
Family / Re: Nigerian Men Dont Know How To Be Men!! by bryanarchie: 5:28am On Aug 03, 2018
MrBrownJay1:


up til this day i have NEVER EVER been to a household in Nigeria where there was not a minimum of one housegirl/boy, even when the madam was unemployed.... i guess i must be going to the wrong households.

The reason I don't have a maid is because I can't afford one now and my husband believes house chores are for women.

I try my best and leave the rest.

I used to nag and complain but I'm done with that, try my best and leave the rest...

Marriage to women in Africa is really unfair, if not for the societal stigma, would never get married.

3 Likes

Family / Re: Nigerian Men Dont Know How To Be Men!! by bryanarchie: 4:19am On Aug 01, 2018
MrBrownJay1:


women's reality?! what woman do you know in Nigeria that is married to a gainfully employed man, and has herself a 9 to 5 job, that would then come home to pick up a broom to start cleaning the house? if they have children then someone else is raising these kids and if the house is dirty someone else is cleaning that house.

indeed a blessed day to you too sista.

I have kids, I have no maid, I work 9-5 and I split bills with my husband equally.

I do 9o% of the house chores.

4 Likes

Family / Re: Visiting My In-laws by bryanarchie: 9:21am On Jul 23, 2018
I have decided to go when I'm wanted.Thank you and God bless
Family / Re: Visiting My In-laws by bryanarchie: 9:19am On Jul 23, 2018
adebayo3449:
I think you should wait till the next time ur husband plans to visit, go together and come back that same day if it's possible.
But I think there is something fishy in this story.
Why would the family think there is no need for you just to come and say hello or check the man? Or do u plan to pack there?

It's a journey of hours, I can't go there and come back the same day.
I'm definitely not packing there...

1 Like

Family / Re: Visiting My In-laws by bryanarchie: 7:07am On Jul 23, 2018
Thank you all..My husband said its left for me to decide and I know my in-laws are not too happy about my trip (which I totally understand).
I just really want to damn it all and go because my father-in-law has been wonderful to me and I believe I should do this but I'm also scared...
No one has told me not to come there but they've been talking to my husband and he has expressed they are not enthusiastic about me being there...

My father-in-law has been good to me and I want to be there for him. My husband has refused giving me an account number to send money to them and if I ask my father-in-law he will tell me not to bother...
Family / Visiting My In-laws by bryanarchie: 2:34am On Jul 23, 2018
Olease i need truthful and unbiased veiws,I've been there twice and it was a bad experience (for both parties).
Now, I'm about to go there again because my father-in-law is sick and I just feel I should be there for him...
I've called to inform them I'm coming and nobody told me not to come but my husband is giving me feelers that they don't think its necessary...

I'm confused if I should go or not.
Note: None invited me ooooooo, I'm going because I feel its proper I visit my father-in-law in this trying moments.
Family / Re: House Clearance Sales.. Come In Here!!!! by bryanarchie: 9:45pm On Jul 12, 2018
Bankyshinani:

How much?

60k...
Family / Re: House Clearance Sales.. Come In Here!!!! by bryanarchie: 10:55am On Jul 12, 2018
2 single seater and a double seater couch for sale...

Location : ikot-ekpene
Health / Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by bryanarchie: 5:55pm On May 17, 2018
Second missionary journey....

Elective cs for the first but I want a VBAC now...

I'm ready to roll...

Aitee, God has answered your prayers...

10 Likes

Health / Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by bryanarchie: 8:24pm On Apr 02, 2018
rosekatiej:
Wow!! He is so big and cute.I would really appreciate the baby cloths ma but I stay in Uyo and can get someone to get them for me in I.K.Thanks .

08160811744 my number
Health / Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by bryanarchie: 7:37pm On Apr 02, 2018
[quote author=rosekatiej post=66377287][/quote]

Wow... That's nice...

Okayyyy... Baby boy or girl?

I sell clothes, so I'll select and the person can pick it up...

1 Like

Health / Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by bryanarchie: 7:17pm On Apr 02, 2018
Big Thank you to this amazing group...

This was my support group all through my Pregnancy Journey...

My Prince Charming will be 1year soon...

Look at him all grown up...

#April mama rock

I'll be giving new baby clothes to any mama living in Ikot ekpene and inviting all to his 1year birthday party on April22nd

39 Likes

TV/Movies / Re: Live: Big Brother Naija 2018 (Double Wahala) BBNaija Live Thread by bryanarchie: 6:37pm On Apr 02, 2018
Never voted... But I'm going all out for Nina this week.

Infact, all my colleagues must vote for her...

12 Likes 2 Shares

Family / Re: "Being Married In Nigeria Is Inconveniencing" - Lady On Twitter Says by bryanarchie: 6:53am On Mar 03, 2018
Wow!!!! I totally relate to this.

I work in the same firm with my husband and we earn the same salary. We contribute equally for the home expenses, childcare, rent, car maintenance, etc.. We financially assign duties and each party must provide.

Then house chores, Lolssssssssssss...
When we started he wanted me to do everything even while pregnant and damn it was no easy because I'm a (neat freak) and we can't afford a maid.

I collapsed twice in the space of six months, developed Hbp, aged drastically, had low blood volume etc. It was the most difficult moment ever in my life.

I woke up one day and told myself enough is enough, I won't die because I'm married and then the war started.

Don't ask me how I did it but thanks be to GOD, i'm healthy (even getting too fat) , stronger, fresher and my husband now understands if your wife splits the house bill with you equally, you should assist equally with the house chores and childcare.

Kudos to all working class mothers out there, you are superheroes.
Your wife is your wife and not a maid.

3 Likes

Family / Re: Marriage Gone Wrong by bryanarchie: 9:41pm On Feb 28, 2018
ImaIma1:
The woman is probably stressed out when nieces and nephews comes over because she gets to care for extra people.

Do you guys help around when you go there? Or you just eat and eat and watch Tv while she does most of the work you guys create when you are there?

Marriage is not cast and stone. It takes understanding between the couple. A lot of couples i know hardly allow family members come and spend days in their houses to avoid one problem or the other.

Allow your uncle and his wife to sort out their issues and stay out of it.

Exactly, they feel it's their uncles house so will balance like kings and watch the woman slave herself unnecessarily...
Family / Re: High Quality Neatly Used Baby Items by bryanarchie: 2:59am On Feb 06, 2018
Where are you located?

Interested in the walker and high chair...
Family / Re: CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED. by bryanarchie: 1:41pm On Dec 02, 2017
Thank you JESUS...

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (of 5 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 92
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.