₦airaland Forum

Herzumpther:
Wow...this kind of punishment for a 6 years old boy All for 3k you allowed your son to go through such humiliation not only in front of the entire school but also in front of his sister because you didn't want to pay 3k, 11 strokes of cane on his bare bum....smh,

how much is 3k. I wouldnt pay jack to the school before. For what. Will they force me to pay. But if the 3pcs of note book is up to that why not. But I wont be cajoled into that. So it has nothing to do with 3k even if I say dont I will still not pay 3k for few pieces of note books.

bellong:
6yr old Stripped naked and beaten?


As stubborn and rude as I was at that age, I was not stripped naked. Not even when I nearly blinded a classmate with blow.

Bro, in an ideal setting, the parent that sanctioned it and the school that took such a crazy decision would be answering questions at welfare center if not doing some time in jail.

I am not against disciplining an errant child but going overboard is not it. The boy is too young for such humiliation. What you may not understand is that you are unconsciously hardening the boy instead of softening him. Discipline is for reformation and not deformation.

Please, what is the name of the school and where is it located so I wouldn't make any mistake in enrolling my son there?

Seriously, the punishment is too grievous for the of fence committed and for his age.

I agree with you to certain extent. Like I said I told the founder to apply stick but I guess we differ on how many.
But I tried to talk with my daughter and my son with their mom later in the day. We told him sorry but that we also dont like the fact we get those reports about him. Then he was hugged and by everybody, though he promised not to be that naughty anymore. Then my daughter insisted he gets to watch any channel of his choice for the nite even ahainst my standing rule of no tv during the week except weekend. This I allowed him. So it is carrot and stick not stick alone

EfemenaXY:
For crying out loud!

YOU DO NOT KNOCK A CHILD'S HEAD, NO MATTER WHAT!!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU MAN??!!

You sometimes get too emotional self. I am sure you stay abroad.

moca:
Jeez!
@op, how can u do this?
No wonder we r so violent by nature.
Abeg forget d spare d rod trash.
Since we've not been sparing d rod, how r we faring in this country?

What happens to coomunicationv
Or u think he won't listen and talk.
How do u even talk to him?
Do u go down to his level or the almighty I'm ur father u must obey me type?
Even babies inside womb r communicated to. Newborn babies d same.

I'm so ashamed. And u think u r training him. Well u r. But u r training a violent and rebellious man.
I noticed that parents allow d cane to do the talking(communication)for them.

why are screaming like the world is coming to an end. The oyinbo people who dont beat how are there children like. If I count the number of times I was beating by my father and for everyone I got a dime I should be super rich by now and I grew up to be a fine gentle man.
I laughed when you people talk about communication. My son knows that for me to give the go a head I mean well.
why is it that my daughter could come to talk to me about it and question me? It is because I communicate finely with them.
I play ball with my son, we run around together in compound and I spend quality time with him. So the fact that this happened will not kill the boy. If it is done frequently that makes it bad.
please you people should stop talking about communication like it is not being make use at all.
if I communicate at other times will I tell you.

carefreewannabe:
I really like that you opened this thread. It shows that you think about what happened. It shows you care.
I don't doubt you are a loving father. I just think that beating up a child na*ked and in public is not a good way to handle such issues.

Don't expect a child to give you a perfect, rational explanation for his misbehavior but try and understand him in his childish ways.
The child's aggression has a cause and you need to find out what it is else it will get worse.

When a child reacts aggressively and you try to tackle his aggression with more aggression (=beating), it will make matters worse.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
Your boy didn't destroy the books because he is bad. I don'T even think he did it for fun because he sure remembers his first beating. I believe that something bothers the boy.

Your goal is to modify his behavior for the better and not to just punish him.
When you punish a child, without tackling the cause and without teaching the child and helping him to change, you will not achieve the results you hope for. You will have inflicted punishment but not initiated any process for a positive development.

I agree with you. If you read my earlier post I said the founder who is over 70 should use her discreation. Like I said I may not agree to everything.
my children were raised in such away that they dont keep malice. So I dont think it is about getting used to cane. If I scold my children or even when their teachers do, they dont keep malice with nobody few minutes later they smile at you and gist away like nothing happen. I grew to be like that, when I started my career I was managing about 20 staff but whenever I disagree with my staff or they do any annoying thing after few minutes I am gisting away freely with the person. My children are like that they dont keep malice or brood over issues whenever they are reprimanded. So I dont think the smiling at me is a case of thick skin to caning

SAMBARRY:
gbam

Well the question you and aisha should ask is how many times has he been beating? So I dont think he has developed thick skin to cane. I can count the number of times I have beating though this excludes knocks on the head and ear pulling.

EfemenaXY:
So where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough by your standards?

Till he is beaten unconscious and within an inch if his life?

Line can be drawn. Well for me I am like if this doesnt work as per book tearing then the rest is prayers oooo.
in the past he has broken things maliciously, whenever my wife complain I put it to frustration over not seeing his dad. So I just encourage my wife to take it easy and be calm. So I talk to him over phone and encourage him to be good. I said to myself if this boy continues this way I must come back to lagos by force by fire and stay with my family.
However nothing too serious apart from the book tearing and beating his classmates that he considers rude to him.

carefreewannabe:
So?

Is it a reason to humiliate him in public?
Does it make him more mature psychologically?

You have not answered my question. Did anyone ask the child why he did what he did?

The 1st time it happened I took time to talk to him and understand the rational but nothing came from it. So when this happened I decided to let the school handle it.

EfemenaXY:
You must be a violent man.

Your post reeks of violence in every paragraph. It's obviously your answer to parenting. Just out of interest, how long do you plan to keep beating the living daylights out of your son?

When would you advance from the cain, to belt buckles, to wires, and maybe bricks?

I'm sure you've probably dished your son a couple of hard knocks on the head.

no ma I am not a violent man. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But I wont over do it.
but do I have cane kept for my children? Yes. But do i over use it? No. I grew up with plenty beaten from my dad but I dont over do it with my children.
But I want him to realise that it isnt only me and the mum that frown at such but even the school.
I have never gotten any negative report about my daughter from school. But for him this must have been the umpteenth time.

carefreewannabe:
Obviously beating him up for the first time did not help to solve the issue.
Why would humiliating him in public solve it?

The child is six!

Is it not possible for you people to handle the issue in a different way?
How about talking to the child FIRST?

well there are too many ways to catch a rabbit. For me it is a combination of different methods. I will not over use one over the other. This is the 1st time I will give such permit. My son is six but he is built like a 9yr old fellow.

cococandy:
You should have paid the fine and disciplined him yourself

well this is the 2nd time it will happen. The 1st he tore a classmate books into shreds. The school called me and the mum. We went there we pleaded. I came home the mum applied the sticks, when this happened again and the school called again, I planned to allow school beat him while I also do so at home. But the school founder and I agreed to one of us doing it. Too many times I have done the discipline but on this book thing I want the school to also take him up. If he does that at home I would do my discipline by myself. My teachers dont ask for permit to beat me in those days why should it be different now?

francleanflexy:
kids are getting wilder n wilder every day but koboko has been resetting them to factory default

Lol at factory default.

sunnshyn:
You gave another person the right to administer corporal punishment on your child?!? For what purpose? To serve as a deterrence u said..and u'll still do it again? Hahahah!! But this time in his classroom? Thank God you are not my husband...

Do you even know that even children have rights too as humans? Inflicting physical pains on a child serves no good purpose sir.

Did u see he ran to u and asked to be helped after the humiliation? Children will be children...there are several discipline techniques out there. Like detention (making him sit for a while on his own so he/she can think about what he/she did and apologize afterward promising never to repeat his actions), taking away privileges and all...

You'll only end up raising a hard-hearted child if you continue in this matter...IMO..

Sorry ma. Do you live in Nigeria. This your grammar sound english. Where you not beaten in school by your teacher?

@zeb04 well I agreed to the beaten, but i expected the 70year old school founder to use her initiative. If you ask me 11 strokes too much especially on the bum without short though with his boxers.
Though there were marks but I wouldnt know how severe the strokes were

Well if this is true I am speechless. But I will rather not pontificate. Wish you well on your endeavor to get back your son.

I work as a father outside Lagos while my family stays permanently in Lagos. Some days back my wife called that she got a report from school that my 6yr old son tore 11 pages from his school note books.
I was really miffed. This is the 2nd time this will happen, the other time it was a classmate book that he tore with a friend.
This the mum beat him over, but for me this is 2nd time too many. So I got a message that the school proprietor will like to see me or my wife and that we will pay 3, 000 for 3 small note books that was torn. That got me mad because it doesnt make sence. So I told my wife we are going to see her but I aint paying no 3k, however I expect the school to beat him which is what I will advice.
Well we met with her (me & wify) she said the 3k is fine for the books so that parents will learn to discipline their children, I was like what nonsence I dont need you to tell me to discipline my children but I agree that he should be beaten in school to serve as deterrence.
So I gave permit for him to be beaten on assembly ground, but unfortunately I didnt bargain for the impact of this on my 8yr old daughter. My son was brought out on the assembly ground, his school short removed and given 11strokes of cane on the buttocks with frog jump to climax it. This happened in the afternoon so other parents started calling my wife to report and wondered why such. But wify told them that we gave the permit.
Now to my daughter she is an easy going 8yr old who has been in that school for 5yrs without any incident but my son has gotten into trouble some couple of times. She started weeping and left the assembly ground for her class and will not talk to either me or their mum wondering why we gave such cruel permit.
But my boy the moment he came back from school saw me and was beaming with smile. I felt like a fool for he bore me no grudge was even urging me to help with his assignment since I just came into lagos not minding that I gave permit for him to be beaten in school.
My daughter asked me condescendingly why I gave such a cruel permit and wonder why I coudnt do it my self. Wify felt bad, may be given the opportunity again what will I do? Well I will still do it but would ask that it be done in his classroom. So nairaland parents over to you. What will you do?

babyosisi:
Please folks,endeavor to get full physical examinations with blood work done annually or biennially
Some things are sudden but this condition our dear brother is suffering from did not come up suddenly
It takes years of symptoms of ill health to get to where he is
Ascites with the amount of weight loss he showed in that picture is usually not acute
Let us also learn and take care of ourselves as we help this young man
With symptoms of ill health,as we pray,let us also get to the doctor,a good doctor not a roadside clinic
Things deteriorate when we wait longer than necessary
Many deaths in NIgeria are of treatable and preventable causes

Thanks for the info.

@ KelvinGraphics
Great job. The one in the hands for me. In the hands of angels, they wont let him stumble

@kelvingraphics well done bro we dey feel you.

joelenesleek:
please I can't save the image. Would love to have it.

HAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Save it for what now brossssss. No dey savethis kin tin ooooo. Rather concentrate your energy on prayers oooo.

yerilistik:
Good work...

Is it possible please to remove the cross or replace it with something else ( eg love sign..)and also remove those fingers sticking below his abdomen?

I thought of the cross, I guess we should before it is turned into a religious issue. If you must use the cross then put the snake around it to make a medical cross bro

I just called in to eko hospital now. They confirmed that they have kidney dialysis centre and that there is bed space. Here is the 24hrs customer careline 012716997
Regards

KelvinGraphics:
Uwc Mammy

Please check the image below and see if it can serve

Thanks

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1864584_djdolafiltered_jpeg6cf28254395367f4c4adb6136f772ede

Good but remember babyosisi comments on the surname. I also think there should be a ref to nairaland as per the link on nairaland in order to give authenticity to the case.

Sorry I am not playing the blame card. But I thought the groups set up by madam chaircover was into 3different group with clear task? How come we arrived in Lagos without a ready hospital to take over the youngmans case to the extent that the place of destination is just a kidney centre without capacity to admit. This is because it means we are still in search of hospital now.
I know lasuth has dialysis centre, but remember support team is on strike nationally, I dont know about eko hospital, I can call in now if you want me to verify eko hospital cos it is the hospital I make use of.
We dont have time to be going around without confirmation from any of the hospital there readiness and capacity to admit and do dialysis

yme1:
Actually they have and it is called TEHN
They have also taken up other cases and helped just like DJ's case

Well I hope so. From what I read from the initial post TEHN was set up for educational purpose and it took some analysis before they took over this particular case, I also think the guys are entirely on their own though I know some nairalanders were nominated to their board. Whichever way it is okay, however I will try to call into talkback on monday if I can get thruogh and mention this case in order for them to help broadcast info about it to Nigerians for more help. Anyother person who is familiar with the program could also dial in to mention it cos I am not permanently base in lagos.

Regards

@babyosisI, chaircover and the rest. I guess we could take this up with Moyo and Mofe Oyatogun of star fm with their talkback program. They have a team that deal with such help and they have overtime build a team that is now permanently in place such as we are trying to build now througg DJ.
My advice is that after this nairaland can build a form of NGO dedicated to help members who may run into this kind of
situation DJ find himself. It is obvious that we were all caught on awares. Especially considering the number of days it took us to even establish the authenticity of the case. God bless that young man I cant remember his name that initially decided to cast all doubt aside and sent him 47k even when he initially promised 25k.
long live nairaland
long live all the members that have run many sleepless night to coordinate this just course.

babyosisi:
Her husband is always on point too that's why he married her

I guess this is applicable to you too madam. The two of you and aisha inclusive always dish it out in required quantum without frivolities. By the way madam you like cooking ooo or is it food. Cos I saw some of your postings on food. Kk shaaa.
before I derail too much I cant to do anything to help op now but like every other person I wish him well.

It just point out some of the challenges of this country. I keep asking myself if suddelly life threatening sickness like this occur how can we individually deal with it since nothing in our system takes care of such in term of social security. Even some nigerian own big companies dont have medical insurance for their staff. God help us.

chaircover:
Its good that people are going to visit DJ, at least it will encourage him too, knowing that he has people who care about his welfare around him

Can I however just say that inspite of all, he still needs his privacy and dignity and we should respect that.
Therefore I appeal that only the very few people who have been designated to do so should go there or call him or even his brother for that matter
He is a sick man and this is not a gathering. Thank you to all those volunteering & may you have helpers in your hour of need too.
There is still plenty of time for us to all rejoice with him by Gods Grace and we can all go and visit him then but for now he needs minimal disturbance.

And people sending text if at all, should only send him things that will uplift his spirit. No questions or mandating him or his family to do things.

He needs all his stregnth to get better and he shouldnt have to be focusing on responding to SMS and phonecalls or worryig himself about all that.

I wonder who your husband is? You are always on point.

Regards

declaro:
how much did you received in your account.

May God bless your kind spirit my bro. And he will repay you in many folds. Especially for belling the cat.

Hmmmm. I must have flown within Nigeria countless time. But I have only missed my flight ones. But after that I vouched never again. Interestingly my missed flight occurred after many record breaking feat not to miss my flight.

Infact there was a particular case in which somebody had done my boarding pass for me but I got to the airport late at mm2 when the plane door had been closed and the staircase already removed. I was looking at the plane ready to taxi out. But fortunately I was staring directly into the pilots eyes and everybody told me it is all over. The staff and other passenger, but as a sales man I dont take no for answer.
I kept staring at the pilot while I was saying silent prayers while pleading with him with hands in prayer form.
surprisingly he beckoned to the ground staff that they should return the tire support and operate the accending apparatus for me to board. I couldnt believe my luck. Even others were shocked. Sorry gast to go running late for a meeting.

You know it is sometimes the initial reaction that normally make me laugh. I remember when I was dating my wife. She came back from work and told me she is resigning. I was like what?? She said her bus sent her on errand and she was asked to take okada and that she nearly fell from on top of okada. So? Enhhhnn. She wants to resign because of that. I just said yepaaa I am in trouble ooooo, I nearly want to slap her but we just started dating so I had to pretend small. She never worked again until 4yrs after our marriage. However, the moment she moved into my house she realised that I am not as rich infact I was cooking with kerosene stove. But I was shocked the way she accepted the situation even to the extend that she refused to employ housemaid since we have been married for 9yrs. But she carry better leg enter my house. Since the day she entered things got a lot better for me infact since then I no dey drive tokunbor again. So some folks can change if they are properly guided from the buttish way into the tough one including our children.