₦airaland Forum

wristwatch:
Congrats. Hapy married life ahead and more years

thanks

So we got married some months later. It was such a big one cos she was the first person t9 get married from amongst her sibling and also the 1st grandchild to do so.
So after wedding nights we had our honey moon some where on the out skirt of lagos by the beach.
The wedding nite was good. We got to our hotel room and started counting the money gift we got. It was so much close to about 500k. That was in 2005. We were so excited and we jumped into bed excitedly. But alas there was a challenge.
Now to the main task that nite. I found out that sleeping with a 30 something year old virgin is not a child's play.
I kept at it but was crying and weeping. She tried cooperate as much as she could but the pain was unbearable. By the time it was morning time the hotel bed spread was damn soaked in pool of blood and beyond redemption. I had to go plead with the hotel management and paid for the damage to the fabric.
so later in the I called my folks and told them my was a virgin. The following weekend they travelled to her folks place some two states away from lagos to go give them a goat and show appreciation for the kind of gift they got.

your comment so far

dytbabe:
Pls feel free
I enjoy love stories

Ok, it goes thus;

We first met in 1994. she just graduated from her master degree program looking for job. I just came back a six month training abroad with a multinational coy. She was not dating any body but i just got into a relationship with a long time friend who we both had religious differences she being a Muslim and me xtian. So i met her at that point when I was in a relationship. I went for a religious ceremony in my place of worship, in between worship she came in with another guy who I later found out was the younger brother in the course of our gisting later in the evening.
After the program most people stayed back to gist and catch up with what has been going on. So i walked up to the brother and we got gisting, later he introduced me to her sister whom he said was on the look out for a job since she just graduated.
so i promised getting one for her later, however they should keep in touch. 2 days later the brother came to my house with her cv and I said no prob.

This happened in April, 2004, I never saw her again while i continued with my relationship. 3 months later my elder brother who is a medical doctor came down to Lagos from North that he is in need of a young lady to date and who could be of wife stuff so naturally she came to my mind course i liked her from the on set but i needed to sort out my existing relationship. so i said to my bro, well I know someone and he was like you don't mean it? so that night we went to their house, she actually stayed with her uncle who was a senior govt official in one of FG agency. we met her and she was so excited to go introduce me and my bro to her uncle's wife. we gisted for about 20 mins or there about before we left.
I guess it wasn't love at first sight for she and my bro. But for me I have done my part. so we never got to see again until 2months later when i went to her house to drop an invite for aptitude test which my office is organizing for her. she was so excited to see me and same with me.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Buhari meets Catholic Bishops in Abuja, says he doesn't have any religious agenda

APC Presidential candidate, Gen. Buhari and his running mate, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo met with some Catholic Bishops in Abuja yesterday February 10th. Speaking during the meeting, Buhari said he had no personal religious agenda and as a practicing Muslim, he doesn't share the views of any extremist group. More pics and what he said after the cut...






Buhari's speech below...
As our nation approaches perhaps the most crucial election in our history, all true patriots are called to deeper reflection of the basic ingredients that bind the nation together- our common freedom, peace and unity. This reflection is even more relevant in the face of the illegal postponement of the general elections- a feat achieved through various sinister ploys and with the sole aim of avoiding the will and verdict of the people. In all of these, I feel the urgeto communicate some of my personal vision and thoughts to the people of our great country, especially on the question of religion, a sensitive matter for many citizens that has become the most frequently used tool by the ruling party. This affordsme an opportunity to give my response to the ruling party’s false propaganda and lies against my person.

Needless to say, we must at all times hold the unity, peace and progress of our dear nation paramount and above all other considerations, especially politics. Those who deliberately disseminate divisive disinformation and attempt to stoke primordial sentiments using religion or ethnicity and create fear in the minds of our people fail the standard of patriotism this nation demands of them and deserves from them. The ruling government and PDP have adopted this sad divisive and false narrative as their strategy to prevent the inevitable change that our country and people desire and require. And they have succeeded in making some of us victims of the tales which they invent, propagate and sell as gospel truth to gullible listeners, while it is all nothing but a tissue of lies.

I would like to solemnly declare that in spite of what our detractors say, I am not a religious fanatic of any sort and I have never been. In all my life, I have never supported extremism of any kind, and nowhere in my record of service to this nation can this false toga, political opponents have tried so hard to put on me, be substantiated. Indeed, it is very unfortunate and I feel extremely sad that I have to give this type of assurance.
My background is in the army, and there is no doubt that the military is the most integrated pan-Nigerian institution. And even today, the military is one of the institutions that represents the pride of our nation’s possibilities in unity. Compatriots from every corner of this country come together, work and live together, entrust their lives to each other and integrate their families. It is a military where many of my dearest friends, from all faiths and parts of the country, lost their lives defending the unity of our nation. That was the military I served in, and in that military it was impossible to be a bigot.
For me, the issue of religion was, and should always, be a matter of personal conviction. This personal conviction approach to religion has defined my work and interactions all my life, including my tenure in office as military Head of State. The religion of all those I worked with was never a factor in their progress or in what happened to them. All that mattered then, and should still matter today, are competence, integrity and readiness to be fair to all. 

I was recently informed that we had a balanced cabinet with key positions such as Finance, Energy and Defence occupied by Christians. In addition, 11 of the 19 governors I appointed were Christians. My most memorable recollections of subordinate service was under Christian bosses, the finest our country had then, and among the most respected today. Indeed one of the best appraisals I received in the course of my military career was from General T.Y Danjuma.

Government has no business preferring one religion to the other. The role of government is to protect lives and properties of citizens and to respect and protect their constitutional rights. One critical freedom that every government must strive to protect is the liberty for citizens to exercise their respective faiths, Christians and Muslims or others, in a lawful manner without fear or hindrance and to prosecute those who use religion as an excuse to destroy homes, schools and places of worship. When governments fail in that duty, they must then assist in the rebuilding of structures including destroyed places of worship and giving full restitution for lost property. We, Nigerians, are a religious people, and the burning of places of worship constitutes one of the vilest forms of abomination to all those who believe in God. It is the duty of governments to protect this important sensitivity.

Let me state this categorically, that I, MuhammaduBuhari, as an individual, and as president of this great country by the grace of God, given the opportunity to serve, have no personal religious agenda. And I will not entertain, consider or promote the religious agenda of anyone. I will not condone any initiative that seeks to promote one religion over the other. Neither I, nor my party, or any member of my team has any desire or plan to Islamize or Christianize Nigeria or support anyone with such intention.

Although I am a practising Muslim, and I have been so all my life, I have never belonged to, nor shared the views of, any extremist group. I am not even a cleric. I believe that religion is personal and private. Many of the people close to me are not of my religion. My cook and driver for 20 years are Christians, Most of my bodyguards are Christians. Some were killed while protecting me in the terrorist attack on my convoy in Kaduna. If I have not Islamized these people who serve under me, how will I Islamize the likes of Chief John Odigie-Oyegun, Ogbonnaya Onu, Governors RochasOkorocha, Kayode Fayemi, Rotimi Amaechi or Professor Yemi Osinbajo who is a senior advocate of Nigeria and a pastor? Or how will I Islamize Nigeria?

Our constitution, which in many respects, is similar to the American constitution does not permit a state religion. The Sharia identified in the constitution is almost synonymous with customary law. It is only applicable in matters of personal status such as marriage, divorce and inheritance. This has been the case since the 1979 constitution. Just as no one can make any customary or any other religious law the law of Nigeria, so Sharia cannot therefore be the law of Nigeria.
My record is evidence of this strongly held belief. Before my tenure, the deadly and violent extremist radical sect, Maitasine carried out terrorist activities in the north, especially Kano; When it erupted again in Yola, during my tenure, I took direct command, and personally led the successful effort to eradicate the threat to our country. Similarly, when some Chadian insurgents attempted to occupy Nigerian territory, I led the military confrontation that eliminated the threat.
For all purposes, we must all learn to live together as brothers and sisters, because the problems that bedevil our nation do not discriminate based on religion or ethnicity. Poverty and hunger do not know or respect religion or creed. When a bomb explodes in a market, it kills and maims without regard for religion or ethnicity. The millions of the unemployed youth of our country cut across all tribes and religions.

Wicked propagandists continue to spread vicious lies about me for political gain, including claiming that I once asked Muslims not to vote for Christians. This must be the height of absurdity. How could I ever say that, when whoever voted for me would be voting for the Christian running with me on the same ticket? And how could I ever say that of Christians when my own holy book, the Qur’an, tells me that in the entire world those that are nearest in love to me are those who believe in Jesus Christ [AS]? I ask, who, intending to win any election, ever does that? How can I choose southern Christian running mates [Chuba Okadigbo of blessed memory, Pastor Tunde Bakare and Pastor YemiOsinbajo] and with them by my side make such silly utterances? 

Because they have no record, they must seek to destroy our own; and because they have no integrity, they feel they must impugn our own.

We must reject those who propagate hatred, ethnicity, divisiveness, sectionalism or seek to manipulate our religious differences in such cynical fashion. On our part, we will remain undeterred: our commitment is to bring about change in the way we live and think and work in this nation; and our goal is to ensure a decent existence for all. And, by the Grace of God, that is what we will do—we will remain true to our commitment and we will achieve our goal.
May God bless Nigeria and its people for all time.
General[truncated by WhatsApp]

Dyt:
10 long yes
Damn
Congrats

Sorry I don't know anywhere but how has the journey been so far.
I like to read it

so do you want gist about how we met and how we have been coping together?

dytbabe:
:O

Faints
Stands up
Runs away


Sex life still great? She's a super woman
*thumbs up*

I must mention to you that God has been good and kind to us.

dytbabe:
:O

Faints
Stands up
Runs away


Sex life still great? She's a super woman
*thumbs up*

yeah you can say that again. she is, i was just fortunate to have such person as a wife, who forgives me of all my transgressions and over look my shortcomings.

Dyt:
10 long yes
Damn
Congrats

Sorry I don't know anywhere but how has the journey been so far.
I like to read it

well not too bad. but like yoruba proverb or adage says, " every household remove chickens at nite to keep them in proper place" i hope i passed the right message. So if any one tells you that in their village chickens don't sleep in wrong places it is a lie. Meaning every marriage has gotten its own challenges but you must be committed to the union for it to work, but importantly God. But interestingly our sex life has been fantastic so far, just like when we newly got married, despite the fact that my wife was a virgin at 31 when we got married. however thanks for your interest

@OP MouthAction itself is not bad. but forcing to you swallow his semen is mean and demeaning. I am a man i will never support that. Please resist it as much as you can and if he fails to reason along with you, report him to some body that he listens to and respect. You are not a LovePeddler and dont allow yourself to be treated as such. If on your on volition you want to do it, good. But for you to be forced is cruel and I suspect something is mentally wrong with your husband. Watch it

What do you think of Las vegas. Will it be fun, if you have been there b4, tell me about fun fill activities for couples that could boost both emotional and sexual closeness

1st i have kicked of with my application for visa in order to secure one for me and wify before the August date. cheers

This year August 20th to be exact, my marriage will be 10 years. I have been having different thots on how to go about celebrating it. kindly suggest for me what i could do. I have been thinking on a trip to las vegas with wify, what do you think or kindly suggest other romantic places that could be nice and economical. lets go on this trip together as i planned it.
regards.

well my take is he took Nigerian masses that voted for him for granted and decided to follow kingmakers. Like I wonder what electoral value does Bode george has, or Faseun the OPC man. Rather than focusing on the masses that supported him in 2011, he was seeking godfathers approval all over the places.
See he loved facebook so much when he was contesting in 2011 because his followership and comments about him were lovely. Same man detested social media when he was nolonger getting favourable comments and he started started thinking of how to regulate social media when it was nolonger favourable to him.

As the incumbent, Jonathan will run on his record which unfortunately would include not only his performance in office (which is not as bad as being projected) but also mismanaged relationships that may have been more costly in terms of the eroded support base. We may never know how much political damage the president inflicted on himself by his failed bid to install a Speaker for the House of Representatives in June 2011 and the refusal to accept defeat gracefully thereafter; the futile attempt to oust Governor Rotimi Amaechi as the Nigeria Governors Forum (NGF) Chairman and how that eventually led to the split within the ruling party; the ill-feelings from aggrieved party members who lost out at the primaries--at least we now know of a certain Labaran Maku who once claimed sensationally that Jonathan “brought Facebook to Nigeria” but who has been rechristened “an ungrateful animal”; the unfortunate Chibok “Waka-Come” theatrics at the Villa by the president’s wife that went viral internationally; the saga of the “unaccounted for billions of Dollars” in oil receipts that is yet to be conclusively resolved and the accompanying drama with Sanusi Lamido Sanusi that played out from the CBN Governorship office to the Kano Emir’s palace; the presidential redefinition of corruption as being different from--and perhaps more tolerable than—stealing; the evident contradictions inherent in the fact that those who once ran a vicious media campaign against Jonathan, baptizing him with the moniker, “clueless president” are now the ones speaking for him etc.
i
This was culled from Thisday paper of 29th of January, 2015 as written by Segun Adeniyi.

By Bunmi Awoyemi, Ph.D
Dissecting Bishop Oyedepo's support for GEJ and Sambo's anti-christ outburst against churches and Pastor(Prof.) Osinbajo at the Jigawa State PDP Presidential rally.

I was shocked when a man of God, Bishop David Oyedepo who I respect so much said in his church some days ago that his members should slaughter any one that looks like a terrorist. The key word there is "anyone that looks like." While I am 100% in support of self defense, I abhor tribal profiling and targeting. When this happens, innocent lives are bound to be lost. Then in the 3rd service of his Church on Sunday, January 25, 2015, attended by President Jonathan, my dear Bishop Oyedepo said in a comment directed at President Jonathan “We will open the gates of hell on those who oppose you.When God enthrones you no one can dethrone you”
My Bishop's support of Jonathan is anchored on the false premise that Buhari is planning to Islamize Nigeria. Nothing could be further from the truth. IBB not Buhari registered Nigeria as a member of the Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC). IBB, Abacha and Abdusalami Abubakar attended OIC meetings. No President of Nigeria has attended OIC meetings in the last 15 years until President Jonathan attended an OIC meeting in late 2014. Buhari never attended any OIC meeting and refused to join the OIC even though he was a military Head of State possessing immense powers. How can the same Buhari now Islamize Nigeria in a democratic setting which has the checks and balances of the National Assembly and the Judiciary?
Is my Bishop aware of what happened a few days ago? At the Presidential campaign rally of GEJ/Sambo in Jigawa state on January 21st, 2015, in the presence of President Jonathan, Vice President Namadi Sambo stated in Hausa : "Buhari ya dauko pastor a matsayin mataimakinsa kunsan coci nawa yake dashi? Yanada coci 5000, don haka karku zabesu. The translation is - "Buhari has selected a pastor as his running mate, do you know how many churches he has? He has 5000 churches, so based on that, don't vote for them".
My Bishop, Sambo used religious sentiments in his attempt to divide the country and incite Muslims against Christians. Sambo also said at the rally that the PDP is the most Islamic Party in Nigeria because nobody can be more Muslim than him. He said that his name is Namadi which is a derivative of Namadina, meaning someone from the Medina in Saudi Arabia. At the Rally in Jigawa State Sambo also stated that he goes for the Hajj every year.
My dear Bishop, in Sambo's determination to whip up religious sentiments and divisions, he stated at the Jigawa state rally that all the security chiefs in the Jonathan administration are Muslims and based on that, those alleging that Jonathan is supportive of Boko Haram are not being fair. He mentioned the names of some key ministers in the Jonathan administration including Defence Minister, Aliyu Gusau, NSA, Sambo Dasuki, Inspector General of Police, Abba whom he emphasized are all Muslims. He also mentioned all the Muslim ministers from Kano, including Aminu Wali, Foreign Affairs Minister and Shekarau, Minister of Education.
Bishop, Sambo then asked if anyone could claim to be more Muslim than him Namadi Sambo. Then he shouted Allahu Akbar (Allah is great several times). To close his speech he recited the AlFatiha, (The Opening, the first seven verses of the Holy Quran, which for Muslims is the Mother of the Book, highly revered by all).
My dear Bishop, Sambo's outburst against Christians and Pastor Osinbajo would not surprise close watchers of political events in Nigeria but it does reconfirm the outcome of late General Azazi thorough and extensive investigation of Boko Haram and in which he concluded that the PDP founded Boko Haram and finances its terrorist activities.

MY ADVISE TO CHRISTIANS WHO RESPECT
BISHOP OYEDEPO

To Christians like me who hold Bishop Oyedepo in great esteem this is my advise to you;
Don't let any pastor tell you who to vote for. Does Bishop Oyedepo experience the effects of misgovernance? Bishop is on 24-hr power generators and he does not even know when there is power outage. You bear the brunt of misgovernance daily and you should know that voting GEJ is a guarantee of another 4 years of no electricity, corruption galore and insurgency that will claim more lives and disintegrate Nigeria. Vote based on what you know not on religious or tribal sentiments!
Currently, 70% of the territory of states like Borno, Yobe and Adamawa are under the firm control of Boko Haram. This is the first time this is happening in Nigeria. Boko Haram bombing and genocide has targeted both Christians and Muslims, churches, mosques and schools attended by both Christians and Muslims. Because of Boko Haram's control of about 5% of Nigeria's territory, Nigeria's map has been redrawn.
When a bomb goes off in a market place it does not discriminate between Muslims and Christians. When the village of the Chief of Defense staff close to Mubi was attacked he did not rescue his fellow christian villagers but he airlifted his relatives out of danger and leaving his fellow Christians to be slaughtered by Boko Haram. The "polithievians," "executhieves," "legislooters" and "judishare" officers of Nigeria have only one religion that unites them and that religion is stealing and looting with impunity.
How many of the Pastors that are telling you to vote for Jonathan have children who are unemployed graduates sitting at home; bear the brunt of insecurity; send their children to public school; patronize government hospitals like you do or understand what the members of their religious organizations go through on a daily basis?
Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out when ASUU and ASUP were on strike twice in 4 years thereby leading to the loss of almost 2 years in the academic calender of Universities and Polytechnics?
Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out to condemn the manner in which the almost 300 Chibok girls were kidnapped? Did he condemn the manner in which the President refused to acknowledge that they were kidnapped? Did Bishop Oyedepo condemn the failure of the President to rescue the Chibok girls 9 months after they were kidnapped by the insurgents?
Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out when medical doctors went on strike twice in 4 years leading to the death of millions of Nigerians.
Has Bishop Oyedepo spoken out against the ongoing strike by health workers and judicial workers in Nigeria?
All these strikes have to do with the inability of President Jonathan and the PDP government to abide by industrial agreements signed after extensive bargaining among stake holders and their insensitivity to the plight of Nigerians.
Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out when 16>19, 5>26 and 7>19 in the Governors Forum election, Rivers state house of Assembly and Ekiti State House of Assembly in clear and reckless violation of the 1999 Constitution of Nigeria?
Has Bishop Oyedepo spoken out to condemn the legalized looting of billions of dollars of Nigeria's money taking place under the watch of President Jonathan? Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out to condemn the beating up of a state High Court judge in Ekiti state by the Chief Thug of Ekiti State, Ayodele Fayose and his gang of thugs?
Did Bishop Oyedepo speak out to condemn the deliberate flouting of court orders by President Jonathan which has become like a recurring decimal in his administration?
Let Pastors like Bishop Oyedepo who don't know what their members are going through or who are unable to feel the pulse of the masses, stick to what they know how to do best which is feeding Chist's sheep as Christ commanded them, but let them stay out of politics. Bishop Oyedepo should not try to influence Christians to vote for a failed President like Jonathan. I urge all Christians to vote their conscience to free themselves from the 16 year bondage of the PDP led administration.
Section 95 (3) of the Electoral Act, states that “places designated for religious worship, police station and public offices shall not be used for political campaigns, rallies and processions or to promote, propagate or attack political parties, candidates, their political ideologies or programmes.”
Let my darling Bishop note that his actions on the pulpit violates this law and as a man of God the scripture expects him to obey the laws of the land. We are to give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's.
By Bunmi Awoyemi

DidiLove1:
Contrary to popular opinion, Buhari did not divorce her cos of her perceived closeness to IBB. It was the other way round. She LEFT Buhari. Why? He took an interest in a classmate of his first daughter's at FGGC Bauchi and eventually married her. The former wife wouldn't take none of that and left. Fact.

you dey there? Aproko×2

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Wife don go (God bless her soul) our questions and the only thing in our mind as concerned Nigerians at this point is" where is our certificate?!" "Show me our Certificate,mr anticorruption??!".."We need our certificate??! We don kia how chubby your family looks what we want is our Certificate..this isn't fight.Just surrender our Certificate. [/color]

is like u want something else from this certificate. Una no dey tire. I sure say u no go school.

5minsmadness:
Hahahhaa
Just seeing this, ok I get it.

The op is one of the longest I have ever seen and he refused to shorten it though the full story is very interesting.

well I enjoyed the full story. However there are other lessons to learn from the story about the mans mentality, how he dealt with his wives, both in biz and maritally and how the wives survive upon his demise. But your abridge version has taken away all that side of it. We should be patient enough at times to go through some stories. Such as soludo write up on nigerian economy.

5minsmadness:
***stares in awe at the looong post***

So want do you expect. That I should make an abridge version and do away with most of the vital info. I think you should just try to read it and get the gist.

I guess we can learn a lot from this particular family. Do have experience of such polygamous family kindly share. I guess it is not always that it ends in dagger drawing.

It is not often that we are regaled with happy-ending stories of polygamous families. Unlike monogamy, polygamous families frequently go all-out in jealous conflicts. Even in the days of old when it was not frowned at like it is today, having more than one woman under one’s roof required a special kind of blessing. Usually, the rivalry that is generated is not limited to the wives but extends to the man’s progeny. The enmity becomes intense at the demise of the head of the family, especially if the deceased was wealthy with a vast estate. Claims and counter-claims on the rightful heir to the inheritance among family members lead to unsettled feud and push the property into ruin.

However, there are some rare tales that differ from the ubiquitous polygamy scandals. Such is the story of the Apatas. Once upon a time, there lived a retired soldier, Simeon Olaosebikan Apata, from Ekiti State. Apata was of the famous Third Marine Commando under ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo during the Nigerian Civil War in which he fought gallantly. His military background was later deployed to combat crime in his immediate environs at Ire Akari Estate, Isolo-Lagos where he lived till his untimely death.

Apata was also into pet breeding and kept Dobermans and German shepherds. Besides his love for dogs and luxury cars, he had a thing for women. His devotion to women was mutual. They returned as much love to him. Apata married three women from different backgrounds. The first wife Gladys Ify was from Delta State. For a second wife, he took, Margaret Olayinka from his home state. Another Margaret (Folajogun), this time from neighbouring Ondo State completed the trio of angels.

Unknown to these women, walking down the aisle with this man meant more than saying ‘I do’. Apata didn’t marry them to show off his wealth or display his amorous nature nor was there any tale of infertility among his wives. He brought these women together to fulfill a vision in education. Seeking ways to further his love for learning, he believed education was the best legacy a parent could bequeath a child. Therefore, he embarked on building the Apata Memorial School.

Over the years, the school has become one of the majestic landmarks in Ire-Akari Estate. It’s not an easy sight to miss. Situated at the roundabout that connects Isolo Road to Jakande Estate, the educational edifice adds a regal appeal to the environs. Founded in 1980, the school is one of the prominent schools in the country and serves as alma mater to many successful personalities in the society like popular beauty surgeon Modupe Ozolua among others.

Recently, the school commemorated the 20th memorial service of the founder. Not much has changed. The structure has been kept intact. Perhaps, the only visible change is its white paint which has been replaced with peach to add a sparkling feel of maturity. Indeed, the school has come of age. What used to be an ordinary free education centre has evolved into a majestic tower of education. New infrastructure, experienced and skilled teachers and, of course, the regular modification of the school curriculum and methods of teaching to meet modern trends guarantee a holistic moulding that conforms tointernational standard.


The week-long celebration threw the school into a flurry of activities. There were quizzes and other competitions among the students which culminated in a grand memorial event on January 8, the day Apata died. On this particular day, students were seen carrying percussion instruments up and down the staircase while others engaged in one activity or the other. However, this frenzied mood didn’t disrupt the routine. Classes progressed on schedule, as staff members carried out their duties. Parents and guardians trooped in and out of the reception to inquire about their wards.

The school presents a puzzle of sorts to many. Following Apata’s death, not a few thought the institution would die with the owner. They were wrong. This expectation of doom was mainly anchored on the fact that the founder of the school was a polygamous man. The probability was that his wives would go their separate ways and the foundation of the school would collapse. Two decades after, there is no crack in the wall of unity of Apata’s wives.

Cementing their relationship to continue harmonious co-existence could not have been triggered only by fear of losing out on Apata’s wealth. In death as in life, Apata remained the common thread that tied the women. The Apata magic has been active and never on the wane. Respect for the memory of the man they loved and revered has kept them together. Smiling, Margaret Olayinka opened up on the secret of their peaceful co-existence.

“When Apata was alive, he constantly drummed it into our ears that his family and school should not die with him. He pleaded with us that his legacy should not die. He was a man of vision. He was very loving and caring and ensured he carried everyone along, there was no secret among any of us. Even with the construction of the building and purchase of the materials, he ensured that at least one of us accompanied him to the market or site to see how things were being done. He taught us how to fish and not how to eat fish. He was a great disciplinarian.”

Although she makes it sound easy, it has not been a smooth ride for the Apata wives. There have been a lot of mines on the way, but they have managed to navigate their way to safety, much to the chagrin of the prophets of doom. Some thought that the school would no longer wave its bold colours of excellence. Like a seer, Apata foresaw his death and trained his wives well to handle the various challenges that will be thrown at them before he embarked on his eternal sojourn. He groomed them to be self-sustaining and continue to advance the frontiers of child education and development in order to keep his dream alive.

While he was yet alive, he assigned roles to them. On the home front, he ensured that the family structure was strong and tight. On many occasions, his wives recalled how he would plead with them not to split his family. He instilled the importance of family in them, but more importantly, he taught them to observe the beauty and strength in diversity. He introduced his wives to one another as help-mates to fulfill his vision. Encouraged by him, the wives address one another as sisters till date. They live in the same building, occupy the same office and never allow their children use the word ‘step-mother’. This is not to say that they do not have their high and low moments.

“Not that we don’t quarrel, we do but when we remember him, we settle our differences. We quarrel. When we do, we close the door, shout and bicker at one another, pray together and then open the door. We believe so much in prayers because without prayer, this family will not stand. We have never called any family member or someone outside the family to settle any dispute among us.” said Ify.

The Apata wives share a few common trait. Their height seems to have been calculated with the same measuring rod. Ify, however, was a shade lighter in complexion and exuded a calm and controlled disposition. Olayinka, though not as light skinned as Ify was reticent and exhaled that unmistakable aura of discipline known to teachers.
Folajogun appeared more social yet, showed signs of respect for her older colleagues.

The three wives are addressed as the directors of the school. They share the same office. The setting of the office didn’t reveal each person’s place on the hierarchial ladder. They looked like regular employees sharing the same office space. At the entranceof the office is Folajogun’s table. Olayinka occupied the middle space while Ify took up the back space. Their tables were not marked with name tag or designation. Much of the work space was taken over by an array of computers, book shelves and other educational materials.


Apart from Olayinka who had a background in education, the other wives were thrown in the world of education by the death of their husband . Folajogun used to be a fashion designer. Her knowledge of the needle and thread has come in handy. Uniforms for the students and non-teaching staff are all made in the school. Today, the women know all the details about the business of education and continuously embark on training to help them improve on the standards of the school.

With a plan to establish a technical tertiary institution that will cater to vocational studies, the furture looks even brighter, as the students are also groomed to acquire vocational skills.

The death of their husband left a vacuum in their hearts. Sunday, January 8, 1995 will always bear painful memories to these women. It began like another Sunday filled with promises, but ended with a hollow that has never been filled. Gladys Ify had gone to the salon to have her hair done. They were to resume work on their new building the following day. Margaret Folajogun was still nursing her 16 day-old baby when tragedy struck.

They had just watched an episode of the Bisi Olatilo Show and were relaxing when one of the daughters ran in to announce the presence of intruders. Ify was with Folajogun since she sprayed insecticide in her room to prevent mosquitoes feasting on the new-born baby. The villains had already been to Olayinka’s room where they frisked her. Unknown to them, the assassins had taken the first daughter downstairs while the first son narrowly escaped through the fence when they ordered him to take the puppy to where the other sedated dogs were.

Although the late Apata was skilled in self-defense, the assassins were too swift for him and ended up sending him to an early grave at the age of 50. Months after his death, these three women drew support from one another. They shared the same bed for months before they garnered the strength to move into their separate rooms. Since initial efforts to bring the criminals to justice seemed futile, they accepted their fate and left vengeance to God.

Ordinarily, the death of Apata freed this women from any marital obligation and gave them an opportunity to re-marry but Folajogun explained, “I couldn’t just bring myself to leave my sisters alone. I wondered how they would cope without my help in running the school just like my late husband requested.”

That was how Apata had trained them-to be together and love one another.
Did the thought of remarrying ever cross their mind? They chorused a resounding “No!”

If the three wives were put in the same room and asked to describe their husband, the answers would probably be the same. Each time they talked about Apata, the constant words were ‘loving, caring and a disciplinarian.’ They recalled how he instilled discipline in them by ensuring that they haboured no secret and entertained no room for discord.
“In fact, if you have issues with any of my sisters, it was better you settled amicably with her than reporting her to him,” said Olayinka. The other wives confirmed this as true.

Polygamy was not new to the Apata wives. They all came from polygamous background which had also known love and peace. When he decided to expand his coast in wives, he was careful to secure total agreement from the existing wife. He compelled them to accompany him to bring his wife home. By so doing, he imparted love, tolerance and perseverance into their lives.

Also in his lifetime, the deceased was known for altruistic service to the community. He gave scholarship to many indigent students, especially Awori indigenes of Isolo community. Some of his staff whose children are students of the school till date benefited from this show of charity. He was a founding member of the adult education board through his investment in Success Tutorial Academy in the 80s.
Apata was also very actively involved in fighting crime in his residential area.

However, he was averse to partying of any kind and cultivated the wives along the same radical line. He may not have lived to see his children become graduates but today he has nine grandchildren to his name. One of his children, Niniola is already carving her name in gold in the music industry. She emerged the first runner-up in the 2013 MTN Project Fame Reality show.

The Apata wives refused to take credit for the continuous growth and success of the institution. Rather, they attributed it to the success of the students who attended the remedial classes back then.

“The success of this school is based on the testimonials of those who attended the remedial classes back then when it was still Success Tutorial Academy. We didn’t do any advertorials. They spread the word and provided the need to expand the school to the level it is now.”
Till date, products of the school are awarded scholarships to the university level based on their excellent performances by oil companies like Shell.

Twenty years might have gone by without Simeon Apata, but the scar of his loss is still fesh in their hearts. These women have immortalised their husband in different ways. In memory of their husband, Ify had never groomed her hair beyond a low cut. Olayinka stopped paying social visits unless it was extremely necessary while Folajogun expresses her devotion to her late husband by loving all the children with her heart.

In case you wonder if they will marry Simeon Apata should he return from the grave, their answer is Yes!
Tags: Life and Style, Life

I am sure this headline will come as a shocker to many of my friends on Facebook and Twitter, and several of them will be ready to disown and defriend me even without reading this to the end. On the other hand, there will be hordes of people who will go to town with this article as a campaign tool for the incumbent. To both sides, I say, hear me out first.

There’s a Middle Eastern story of a spy who had been captured and sentenced to death by a general of the Persian army. The general had fallen upon a strange and rather bizarre custom. He permitted the condemned person to make a choice. He could either face the firing squad or pass through the black door.

As the moment of execution drew near, the general ordered the spy to be brought before him for a short, final interview, the primary purpose of which was to receive the answer of the doomed man to the question: “Which shall it be – the firing squad or the black door?”

This was not an easy question, and the prisoner hesitated, but soon he made it known that he much preferred the firing squad. Not long thereafter, a volley of shots in the courtyard announced the grim sentence had been fulfilled. The general, staring at his boots, turned to his aide and said, “You see how it is with men; they will always prefer the known way to the unknown. It is characteristic of people to be afraid of the undefined. And yet I gave him his choice.”

“What lies behind the black door?” asked the aide. “Freedom,” replied the general, “and I’ve known only a few men brave enough to take it.”

I am a computer scientist by training, among many other things. Several times, I have clients whose computers have frozen, and several hours later, having tried all things possible, the computer just refuses to budge. At that point, there is usually only one thing left to do, reboot. You should see the apprehension in people’s eyes when I suggest they may have to reboot their computer. “What if it doesn’t fix the issue?” “What if it’s worse?” “What if I lose my data?”

My response to them is always this; “When your PC is frozen for 6 days, and you have tried everything else, you reboot it. Not because you are 100% certain the reboot will fix it, or even because you are certain the reboot won’t introduce its own issues, but because it will be stupid to wait for another 4 days, hoping that doing the same thing will bring a different result, and counting on good luck to change a bad situation! You do not let the fear of a reboot paralyze you into doing nothing!

So what do these two stories of a locked door, and a reboot have to do with my decision not to vote for Candidate Buhari on February 14? I will explain.

I am one of those who believe that President Goodluck Jonathan is a good man and has tried his best over the last six years. My friend and prolific writer, Tolu Ogunlesi has already done a good job in his Monday column listing the achievements of the Goodluck administration over the past six years. However, it would also be a disservice to truth if I failed to acknowledge that he has failed on the very important issues of fighting corruption and securing the country. As I travel around the world, I always get questions about corruption, insecurity, and the lots, and folks asking me how a country like Nigeria can afford to be punching below its weight. I remember being asked once after a talk at the Vatican, “What is the theory behind corruption in Nigeria?” to which I replied, “There is no theory, it is all practical”.

I do acknowledge that several of these issues ranging from the seemingly intractable Boko Haram issue to the endemic corruption did not start with the Goodluck administration. What bothers me is his ’I don’t give a damn’ body language, and the apparent lack of anger at the big problems we face as a country.

I recall a 1993 challenge thrown to African leaders by Singapore’s Lee Kuan Yew when he said thus; “From Africa must come a new generation of leaders, committed to reform, and tapping the same spirit that brought freedom 30 years ago. Angered by the failures of corrupt and autocratic leaders, frustrated by economic policies that did not deliver, impatient to recover their lost civil rights, and worn out by wars, Africa’s people are striving for a fresh start.” It is that anger that I have failed to see in President Goodluck Jonathan, and that is why despite his few successes over the last few years, I strongly believe he does not deserve another four years.

When you read the story of the locked door, I am sure you told yourself you would have chosen the black door, given that you probably had nothing to lose, and given that your other option was certain death? But the truth is that most of us will often choose the familiar, even if it’s undesirable, over the unknown, which might be a wonderful opportunity. And there are usually few people who are brave enough to choose freedom. But just because something is familiar doesn’t make it good, best, or the best thing to do.

As a country, we have had various points of inflexion in our journey where we could have made the right decision but often ended up on the wrong side of history. I strongly believe that the 2015 election is another inflexion point and whether we decide to choose the familiar and retain power in the hands of the status quo, despite its obvious failings, or we decide to take the risk of going with change and taking a chance to open the locked door will define our nation’s path for years to come.

So why will I not be voting for Buhari on February 14? Simply because due to circumstances beyond my control, I will not be in Nigeria on that day. However, I am determined to do my best to convince as many people as I can, that at this present moment, in light of our national realities, our only option of effecting change, and rebooting our nation’s settings is by voting for Buhari and an APC–led government.

I ask you to vote for Buhari, not because he is a saint or a messiah. I ask you to vote for him because out of all the options currently available on February 14, he is the only option that offers a chance at a new beginning. No one probably knows Buhari’s failings more than my 67-year old dad who has voted against him three times previously, but come February 14, 2015 will be voting for him, because he realizes that we can no longer continue with the way things are, and this election is not about him, but about his grandchildren to whom he hopes to bequeath a better nation.

It was the great Egyptian poet of the last century, Ahmed Shawqi who said ““Freedom lies behind a door closed shut. It can only be knocked down with a bleeding fist.” I believe strongly that for Nigeria “Change lies behind a door closed shut. It can only be knocked down with your PVC.” So I ask you on my behalf, and on behalf of our children to vote for Buhari and the APC on February 14, 2015.

————————

Idris Ayodeji Bello wrote in from Victoria Island, Lagos.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

otipoju:
I understand your reservations about Buhari. But being a good leader does not mean you have all the answers.

For example Captain Puyol of FC Barcelona was not as skillful as Messi but he was a no nonsense defender had plenty of guts and the determination to win.

Buhari is not an economic guru ...true
Buhari is not a financial expert.... true.

Does he want Nigeria to be great again... Yes

Does he have the clout to tackle corruption headlong and dislodge any cabal holding Nigerians to random...Yes he does.

His mere presence is toxic to corruption sends jitters down the spines of corrupt government officials...in fact a lot of guys are already peeing in their pants.

Does he have the expertise and ruthlessness to tackle the Book Haram menace...to a large degree he does.

Will he have the time for the wastages, nonsense jamborees and needless foreign trips that Jonathan and Patience love dearly...No he does not.

What Buhari needs to do is to assemble a team of the best brains that this country has from all over the world.

Young and experienced men and women of integrity who have a burning hunger to see Nigeria achieve its true potential.

Let them brainstorm and craft a vision of what Nigeria should look like in the next eight years.

Let them fashion out goals that when achieved will make that vision become a reality.

Let them identify required actions to achieve those goals.

Then let them roll up their sleeves and get to work with a sense of urgency.

All Buhari needs to do is to provide leadership like a stern principal check up on how they are carrying out the tasks assigned to them.

What these team does will create a wave of optimism in the nation that will propel the citizenry to emulate these leaders and before you know it...individuals will begin to perform exploits because the environment has became conducive for the actualisation of dreams.

This is the way forward in my own opinion.

You just sound like your name otipojuuuuuu your head too dey there

udemzyudex:
Gej never conducted the exam exercise and I won't only blame him for what happen..

I don't want to write too much,but my question to oshiomole is,has he created any job employment to the youth in his own state? has he made any youth empowerment program in other to empower the youth?

he should go and tackle the problem he have with his people, yeah what happened was bad but he shouldn't start acting like a saint..

if each state can provide at least 10,000 jobs instead of waiting for the FG to do everything, I believe this unemployment of a thing will reduce..

another slowpoke on the run

fleet7:
oshiomhole should just keep quite,how man jobs has he created in his own state.Its high time people realise that they have to hold their governors accountable to them as a governor your meant to protect the interest of your people Gej cant be in 36 states at the same i m not saying our president is perfect but he has tried to an extent.i can categorically tell you oshiomhole is one of the most corrupt governors in nigeria enough of the lip service

You are just standing logic on its head. Meaning you are very illogical and u speak from your a*n*u*s

jawjaw1:
Your head is in the right place!

Let's even look at it from another angle. Even if GMB and GEJ are the same, voting out GEJ and PDP is a way to show any govt in power that if don't perform we, the people, will boot you out at the very first opportunity we get. We can then try the other party and if they fail us in the next 4 years, we boot them out too.

How I wish I was back home for this election. My vote must count in making the CHANGE.

Your head too straight omo iya. This is logic not some morron sitting on a fence.

dapsoneh:
I think it's hight time we stopped following some statesmen dogmatically and shun any endorsement by any individual. These so called elderstatesmen wil only endorse a candidate for their own selfish interest, it's high time we all came 2gda with our votes to and put in d candidate of our choice to rule us irrespective of whoever is endorsed by OBJ or anyone else. Btw, has obj as an individual been personally attacked by boko haram? And he wil sit @ his hilltop mansion telling us who he has/hasnt endorsed? As for me, I dnt bloody care wwho he endorses, I wil go for who I feel my heart tells me 'will' get d job done.. btw, how many imams were there as witnesses? When Muslims start talkin, some ppl wil start throwing tantrum.. SMH!!!

boy that facebook post you pasted in your comment is the best I have read since all these hoolabaloo on voting out goodluck. Power to the electorate.

scribble:
U shut up there my friend. I'm Yoruba. From Ijebu.

He is not my brother but my leader

All u silly children of rebellion will witness his second term. Like it or not.

U my friend are a douche

you are a bastard yoruba boy. I am sure your mother was impregnated by an ijaw man but lied to your father. How can you concoct this rubish and what us to believe the rubish yarns

@op you are a nonentity and a nuisance without a thinking cap for all the reasons you state here.

Johnpaul88:
Too long!

#GMB 2019

Because write ups are complicated for you to comprehend like your oga at the tops. Continue in your ways

This is insightful.