₦airaland Forum

I journeyed back home with my hommie; James , "o boi, u na bad-baddo-baddest ooo, gyal wey neva too stay one day for here na hin she don dey giv u nomba, baba u must carry me go dat place ooo" James playfully hailing me, I retorted; "which place?!" .. James: to the baba wey give u jazz naaa! I laughed and told him, "u no dey serious" ... We discussed about Ifeoma mata till we reached our various lodge, he kept on praising me through out the journey. I reached home, and I saw that face, YES! The first beautiful face I saw when I came in search of this lodge, the fact was that, ever since I packed into the lodge I haven't seen her again, and I did not know if she was even living in that lodge, I concluded that maybe she just came to see her boyfriend or something, and since then I forgot about her.
And now, here I was upholding her beautiful sight once more, she was on a bum-short as usual with an orange polo, she was just outside looking helplessly, I guess she was bored, so I comported myself and greeted her. She gave me that her usual signature smile that could wipe out recession, , "I remember u, no b u wey com find oga-caretaker for yaaard that day ?!" she replied with her ABA-accent. I smiled, and told her I was the one ooo, we talked for minutes, I told her I came for a room that day, and I found out that her name was NKEM, she was a second year student in BANKING and FINANCE, she also lived in the lodge but had no roomie, her absence was due to the fact that she went to help her mother in ARIARIA market, since lectures hasn't fully commenced and she ceased that opportunity to stock up her provision while coming back. With our short convo, I used it to know small details about her, I went to my room after the long hours of convo, NKEM can talk for Africa; there was never a dull moment with her.
I went to the room with severe hunger, decided to soak garri while I cook two packet of Indomie noodles, Feli co co!!! Oloye! Onyeisi na Malaysia, it was my next door neighbour, Joshua.. The only time this guy enters my room is when he starts perceiving aroma of any kind of food from my room. "If na dis indomie wey Joshua wan feature for, ko le wek ooo!" .. Joshua entered my room like he was the one who paid my rents, "feli hafana, how lectures go today naa?!" I replied him feigning anger, "o boi, abeg juz lea mee oo" ... This guy did not stop there ooo, he just laid on my bed, and started pressing his phone. I went to check my indomie, and the water had already dried up, "which kine wahala b dis one naa, person no fit chop peacefully for hin own room again?!" What I heard disrupted my thought with anger, "FELI, shey na Indomie b dat wey dey smell?!" Joshua shouted with a mischievous sound... I just kept mum, dished out the food and brought out two forks, 'cos I knew nothing in this world would make JOSHUA leave my room without him tasting one strand of noodles.
As we were about eating, MOSCO my roomie came back; he looked like someone who just witnessed a miracle, he hurriedly went to the kitchen and brought his own fork and we ate together, "nna ehnn, e get one party wey dey 2moro nyyt. Ooo, mek una try com oo, e go bam wella!" Joshua said after devouring the noodles, MOSCO was just so tired same with me, we didn't even listen to him. I was thinking of IFEOMA when I did not know when I slept off. I dreamt of IFEOMA, maybe as a result of deep thoughts of her before I slept.

"Sarewagba sisi challe wa, Sarewagba ogbeni wa, baby go donwn mo ni ko jo'' I woke up to the sound of my ringtone, I saw the caller I.D, and there was no saved name on it, I picked up the call, What I heard from the call shocked me, it was ............

*Stay Tuned*

[Dedicated to BreezyCB] my ghost Reader
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Few days passed in which I used in furnishing my room moderately, I screened my intending roomates like I was one HR of a company, 'cos I had no time for dramas. I later found a roomate shaa, Moses he was fondly called 'MoSco' .. We both were the talk of the lodge, 'cos we were both handsome and dressed well, it was like we were competing and we both had this 'I no send u' lifestyle, but I envied Mosco 'cos he always beat me to whatever I brought on, he was also more handsome sef.
Anyway, mek I leave Mosco mata, Lectures started with full force, making so many lazy students come back, even the lodge started increasing with new faces, those that had already paid for their room and travelled back, also with old students who went for their holiday, the lecture room wasn't exempted also, lectures started with full force, and new faces too.
Our department was made up of 172boys, 15 girlss.. Your guess was right! ENGINEERING, Imagine what the girls were feeling like in that department, NADIA BUHARI, RITA ORA, BEYONCE, AGBANI DAREGO bla bla bla, to the extent our boys frolicked other departments with lots ofgirls like flies to a banana peel...
I stood out from my department, owing to the fact that I was a very anti-social person, I did not relate freely with anyone, except my friend JAMES I knew during our screening, JAMES was my partner-in-crime, he also lived close to my lodge (2buildings away), which also made our bond electrovalent as friends and dept mates. What also made me stand out, I also had this 'Lasgidi' touch all over me (I was born and brought up in Lagos) coupled with my typical igbo blood, and also had a good fashion sense.
Monday morning was always the most annoying of days in school, came early to the class as usual and met students as usual, keeping seats for imaginary students that were replaced with mere books, I loved sitting at the middle, I noticed students were in large quantum today, I found out that we were having the most dreaded lecturer's course today MEC 101, Mr Ufiok. That man tolerated zero sh*t, once he enters the class, nobody dare comes in, be it a cockcroach sef.
I was still in thoughts, when I had a voice, "Excuse me, please is there anyone on that seat?!" ---I turned back to see a goddess in human form, I had'nt seen this face before, I said to myself, //the fact was that there was a book someone kept beside me, in order to keep space for his friend, //omoh, dis beauty no go pass me by ooo// I told her, "no one was here" and then I stylishly removed the book that was representing the imaginary being, I told myself, "if d person come, make hin find anada seat ooo" ...
She sat down happily, I was just forming serious student that day, infact my handwriting changed instantly, I was now writing with design, after Mr Ufiok finished with his lectures as I was about going back to my lodge, that same voice called me, She introduced herself as IFEOMA, I was still forming 'Jagaban' with no interest, I told her my name was FELIX OKEKE, but she can call me FELI, she smiled from my gestures. She told me, she just came back yesterday and she hasn't started anything about her screening, and that she needs assistance, I non challantly gave her my number, and collected hers too. (Deep down my heart, my mind don dey Joli, I was like of all the boys na me she con meet, she no see Course Rep?!)

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* I had to stay off-campus due to the fact that the school hostel was duly occupied, i had a problem with searching for lodge around, after touring as usual with my long walks in search of a befitting mini self-con, i stumbled upon a lodge, with a signboard boldly written ''ROUMS FOR LENT'' call 08123xxxxx, i hated the sight of the edifice, coupled with the fact that the lodge was not painted, even the english self ''ROUMS FOR LENT'' struck my thoughts that whoever wrote this must be a first class illiterate, i had no choice, due to the fact that i've toiled since morning in search of a lodge to no avail, and now i've seen one. I had to swallow my pride, and call the number.
* :: ''Halloo, who was that?!'' the voice that came out huskly from the phone, ''gooday sir, please sir, i'm in need of a room sir, i saw your number outside'' ::: he smiled, and told me ''ehh, bata n'ime (come inside), ask of caretaker, dem go 'bling' u com ma 'loom'.... He hung the phone.
* ...... Sincerely, i was beginning to hate the place already, but i had no choice, i entered the gate and the first person i saw was a very beautiful young girl, fair in complexion on yellow singlet and a very tight bum short that revealed her spotless lap, i was lost in thoughts as the singlet she wore revealed her cleavage. I greeted her politely, immediately activated my baritone voice into bedroom voice, ''please, i'm looking for caretaker'' ...she smiled, //chooi, her smile alone can make dollar go down to #10, it could resurrect a dead man// she told me that i should go upstairs the first room by my right. I went as she directed me.
* Kpo, kpo, kpo, i knocked on the door that was slightly ajar/ the same husky voice shouted from the room, ''onye kwa? (who is that) - Come in oo!!!'' .:..... I entered, introduced myself, he replied with a mischievous smile, ''ok, na u wey collu mi na na, okwa ya?!'' :: i nodded in affirmative, // (Caretaker): Ehmm, d tin b say na only one loom lemain oo, and na self con. // deep down my heart, it was exactly what i wanted; he then showed me the room, the room was completely opposite of what the outside looked like, it was so neat and already painted and had a lot of space, with well tiled clean bathroom cum toilet, the only problem was that the kitchen was too small, and the sink was partially worn out. We finalized everything, and i payed for the room.
* I never knew what prompted me to briskly go to the bank like Usain Bolt running a 100m that same day and pay for the room, maybe i was acting under the influence of the beauty of that girl i saw in the lodge that day, because the truth is that, ever since that day, i have not gotten her face out of my mind.
* +stay tuned+

[Dedicated to Biafranbushboy]
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* Ope ooo!!! Arrrrghr! Thank God ooo; Finally! was all that came out from my mouth, my colleague was confused, he fired me inquisitively with his eyes wide open, ''ogbeni, wetin appun naa?! Why u juz dey shout like person wey juz see deadi bodi?!'' with my Asha-202 still in my hands, i was still in total shock cum happiness, i just checked my admission status and found out that i just got admitted after three years of writing JAMB, i was a regular customer to this examination body to the extent that i knew all the external invigilators they randomly brought. Out of frustration from the previous failed exams i decided to find a work as a sales attendant in a supermarket near my neighbourhood, i also planned that this will be the last Jamb i would take.
.......''o boi, e dun enter ooo'' i replied my colleague, ''wetin enter?! Shey you don give woman belle?!'' he replied with a deceptive grin on his face, i laughed and told him that, i have finally gotten admission, he was so happy for me, i could feel the ecstacy radiating from his reactions. ''Felix, now wey u don get admi, u go bottle guys dis night after we close ooo''
. Weeks passed, all i was thinking about was School, School, School... Even the manager of the supermarket noticed that my impeccable services drastically plummeted, I had to stop work with the supermarket, to travel down to Owerri, in order to pay acceptance fee, begin all necessary screening requirements.
* I went to school, got acquainted with the school environment also got to meet other of my departmental mates, collected numbers from some, the only thing on the minds of us as fresh graduates that time was 'how to get a comfortable lodge' 'how to complete our medicals,' 'how to graduate with distinctions,'
* Weeks passed, after finishing with all necessary requirements, i was given my reg. Number, that day was like the most happiest day of my life, i said to myself, ''Felix Okeke, e bata go na mahadum'' (Felix Okeke, you are now a student)

Gooday my fellow Nairalanders, i decided to try my hands on writing; i am not a professional just doing this for fun, constructive criticisms is allowed.

* FZL (FriendZonedLove) is a story that shows the thin line between Friendzone and true Love, where at a point two young beings felt love but someone just couldn't let go of the Friendzone.
Sit back, buckle up and tighten your seat belt while i take you on a journey to enjoy this powerful episode story of FZL.

Its about to go down like the walls of Jericho.

Ancientboy:
Wizkid God bless u for that appearance,Phyno fall hand

wetyn phyno do?

homesteady:
Phyno that was fucking rude

wertin phyno do abeg?

Chaaai, Nepa no gimmie light ooo! I juss dey refresh this page like refrigerator! Nepa ko ni daafun awon yii.

Somebody else?!

Portharcourt, Nigeria

Calebosko:
u are the problem mma, you are dirty,how could u share brush of #200

for our area na #100 sef...

Good for them

Can a LION and a GOAT stay in the same room with no eating attached?

12. Igbo: Okpo
'nitwit' means a lot though, it means a stupid person, it could also serve for a 'dullard'.

O di egwu ooo! Number 6 shaaa, Doubt that.

Your name is screwed when you indulged: LIVERPOOL 2 CHELSEA 2 *choooooi*

Kyase:
Kikiki OK keep talking

i'll have your time during FT

Oooshey ooo! Watch as the second half boys will come back in second half!
Its all Jurgen klopp's strategy to psychologically make Burnley feel relaxed! *its all strategy* *its all strategy*

Don't worry, JOSE MOURINHO will assist better.

Hahahaha, im sure all these bloggers got inspired by Adekunle gold's song titled 'WORK' on the same album. 'dem nid to chop, so dey got2 work'

Ilegend, u r too good.
But, how do u deal with ladies who dont just take things serious, always jonzing. When you try to use d smh they'll just water d tin down wit dia unseriousness/jonzing. And they are just so dumb to understand pun/smh due to dia always unserious jocular attitude.