₦airaland Forum

YTderin:
Centino, please do what you have to do so we can always get sure updates. Just make sure it's accessible and affordable. Trust me even if you make it 20naira people will still complain its expensive.
Your ardent followers will follow you anywhere.
Its not easy to compose stuff and make it as Interesting as you do.
So if you require a little bit of compensation, just do it. Those who appreciate you well enough won't mind.

Thanks dearie

eyesofpearls:
Centino! Sure man!
Whatever it takes to give us more abeg! I’ll follow you to the moon and beyond

Oya start the process mbok!
I’m excited already!

jaygiant:
Here is an idea, create a WhatsApp group, and anyone that wants to be added must send credit of 100 naira (one week subscription which is 2 updates, Wednesday and Sunday, each update must be at least 900 words oooo!), or credit a designated account with 400 naira (monthly subscription, 8 updates, 2 weekly), once a person's subscription lapses, he will be removed from the group until he subscribes again. Just thinking out loud here ooo, nairalanders if you have a better idea put it up, if your plan is to insult, use d energy to do something creative like centino

In recent weeks been averaging 3000 words per update and it is still too short

Great idea man! thanks.

Make una no beg na, e dey make me feel bad. Actually started writing today but stopped because midweek updates get in the way of hustle. The opportunity cost is always loss of income because time na money. I dey road as I dey type this thing so.

People asking wey this or that character? characters are fading away etc. I know where they are and what they are doing but I can't with once or twice a week depict everything. This tory plenty sotey under the right circumstances I fit write am everyday for 5 years e still no go finish. True.

Now I'm seriously considering doing this as a side hustle, meaning that if i take time from my regular paying schedule do am and i know say something dey come from there, e go dey worthy of d sacrifice.

So my people, hit like if you go like to see this thing as side hustle so that twice a week go dey sure and in a few months, thrice, and in no time, daily. Only Sunday dey very sure now because man must wack.

calamus:
I took a day off from serious work....

You do well my guy. I totally understand the hustle.

calamus:
No vex about the other thing, but I didn't hear from you again, so I no even come know what to think...

No ooo. How I go vex? Found a way round it.

BUGOFF:
Not entirely true. your soulmate is not necessarily just one human in the whole world, when you have purged your mind of common clogs that easily beset it, you will easily attract a mind as clean (pure？) as yours. Ponder on Psalm 1 regularly.
P.S: Just a take.

Flesh and blood hath not revealed this to you BUGOFF

Absolutely well said.

Youngzubi:
Centino i'm yet to understand what kept mama akunna alive, i mean how she managed to survive the hospital environment.

She wasn't really in need of hospital care. She's only hiding there with Akunna's money. What she fears she may not survive is to be sick and helpless at the mercy of medicine. Don't forget that soon as she got to the hospital this time, other occupants of the ward waka. She turned it into a hotel room

princessConfy:
But Centino those times that we feel like having sex so strongly does it mean that it is been controlled spiritually What's the best antidote in those trying period?¿??

Find your soul mate and nack the sense out of him.

IRALIFE:
[quote




Hmmm! It is true that the Almighty loving Father did not build a furnace to throw His children in. The furnace was made for Satan and other angels that followed him in his rebellion. Unfortunately, those who refuse to accept the sacrifice of Jesus which is to set us free from the rulership of the god of this world (Satan) and reconcile us to fellowship with the Father which was constrained by Adam, have automatically CHOSEN to spend eternity there.

Jesus loves you and wants you to spend eternity in heaven with Him. Choose Jesus, choose life.

princessConfy:
Centino thank you so much.... I know there's more but I appreciate this...

why do I have a feeling that cosmos is in a cult??
Abonyibo is a pig

You're right princessConfy. The topic isn't exhausted but will be revisiting it as the storyline permits. Glad you got something out of it.

SunFlow:
Centino, permit me to share your story somewhere

My bro. Will be withdrawing all permissions soon I'm afraid.

TKVick:
Centino I just love ur story so much that I had to become a member of Nairaland.More grease to ur pen.

Really cool. Welcome on board

Preetiex:
Hello centino,how are you doing I have been busy that is why I couldn't follow the story

Wow Preetiex!

Must be more than a year!

Nice to know you are well. Great to have you back. A lot of catching to do you know...welcome back.

If you haven't been here since Sunday, you missed the midweek update. So go back two pages so we're on the same page (pun unintended )


princessConfy...you wanna see this



SEX


Clothes were an injustice to Evae. She was an embodiment of perfection. Her eyes shone like the firmaments, her skin was like silicon bronze. Her breasts stood like twin towers. Her hips were round like a palm wine gourd. And when she came close and he touched her, her skin was velvety and cool like a plant by the riverside. Achike nearly tore his clothes from his body.

Evae wanted it to be quick. She wanted to bring him to the edge so that as soon as he entered her he would ejaculate and then it would be mission accomplished. So she went on her knees and took his stiffness in her mouth and began to suck. Achike was already speaking all the Nigerian languages before Evae touched him. She sucked vigorously and licked the adjoining parts but he just continued to swell in her mouth. Clearly Achike had other ideas. He guided her back on her feet and pulled her in an embrace. The feel of her n*pples on his chest sent delicious shock waves through his spine. He pressed her breasts to himself and moaned at the sweet softness. Then he grabbed the breasts and nearly swallowed the first one as he sucked with all his might. He then swept her off her feet and placed her on the bed and spread her legs. He did not assume a direct missionary position as his tummy would get in the way; instead, he dug his knees in the bed and put a pillow to prop up her hips. He brought his super hardness to her gateway and brushed the opening with the tip before he penetrated her. Achike thrusted in an out like a fine piston until Evae began to thrash about. Then her legs began to shake as the first wave of orgasm engulfed her. He slowed down when the thrashing stopped, and when she regained her breath he turned her over. The roundness of her ass. The softness of it. He bent and kissed both beautiful cheeks and then penetrated again from behind. By this time Evae had forgotten all about her mission. Achike had found the right angle and every thrust rocked her body such that she did not know when she began to mourn in her native kabiye and push her hips to meet his every thrust. Who said fat men could not fvck? When she saw that his strength was flagging, she encouraged him to lie on his back and then she climbed astride. The sight of her waist and slapping beads when she went in reverse was so alluring that Achike began to feel the blood rushing to his groin and he held her down by the waist to receive him. But Evae was quick off the block. She unmounted and continued the stimulation with both hands and then watched Achike rage like a bull as his load shot into the ceiling. It was so satisfying that he slept off almost immediately. Twenty minutes later, even though it felt like six hours, Achike felt her hands on him. He smiled and returned her caresses. But something did not feel right. He opened his eyes and saw new his father-inlaw n*ked by his side.

“Chineke meee!” Achike shouted and flew out of the bed. Agbonyibo was after him in a flash.

“What is this oga?”

“It is my turn now.”

“What? Are you out of your mind?”

“No I’m not.”

Achike wiped his face with his palm to be sure he was awake. Agbonyibo’s erect pen*s was longer than Achike’s arm and as thick. He made a dash for the door but Agnonyibo stretched his hand and grabbed him.

“What do you think you are doing?”

Then with strength that Achike did not know any human being possessed Agbonyibo lifted him and threw him on the bed and went him after him and pinned him down.

“How much you pay wey you fvck my pikin like dat? Oya take your own.”



Outside, everyone was gathered and talking about the postponed elections. Someone was saying “Now both APC and PDP are blaming each other.”

“The question is, who stands to gain more by the postponement?”

“The APC! They will now perfect their plans to rig. Didn’t you hear about the already thumb printed ballot papers in their favor that were intercepted in Kano, Lagos, Jigawa and other places? That amounted to millions of fake votes they were banking on. Now they have to restrategize.”

“Having also seen how eager Nigerians are to vote them out, they did this so that they can disenfranchise the poor who will not have the money to travel a second time for those who went out of their bases to vote. They are also hoping that people will get frustrated and apathetic and do not come out next week.”

“There are those also saying it favours the PDP. A group came out to say that it was even a bold move by INEC as the APC ploy was to later declare the elections inconclusive in some areas and then order a rerun, by which time they would have seen the margin with which PDP would be winning so that they would know how to rig for the numbers they need. It is called the Osun strategy. That is now successfuly thwarted. There will be no staggered elections. Everything will happen in one day to shame the devil."

“Did you see the pictures of the Corps members sleeping on floors and at the motor parks and in danfo buses and everywhere? We should talk about the collateral damage of the postponement. Monumental losses to an already suffering economy. Ruined weddings and other social engagements for next week. In saner climes, the INEC chair should be resigning.”

“They said Buhari wants to sack him and put his niece Amina Zakari.”

“Is it not the same one that is head of logistics for INEC that caused the cancellation in the first place?”

“They came out to refute that. She is with results collation. It is a Okechukwu Ibeanu that heads the logistics committee.”

“Did you see Buhari and Oshiomhole’s faces on TV? I swear those guys know something. They did not show the kind of emotions you would have expected of people who were disappointed. We are now seeing clips of Buhari’s reaction in 2015 when the election was postponed. Man was raging. Now you could sense relief.”

“There was a smile playing on Oshiomhole’s face when he was telling the INEC chairman to apologise. That is not the Osho-Baba we know when things are not going his way.”

“And the look the INEC chairman gave him while he spoke was instructive. As if to say 'Ogbeni this is not how we rehearsed this thing na.”

“Well, whatever the case, the will of the people will ultimately prevail. They have only postponed the evil day. We are determined that our voices will be heard this time and no jupiter will prevent that."

“Please let this not distract us from the fact that the code of conduct tribunal finally arraigned Onogghen. Man made history as the first chief judge of the federation to be docked. He pleaded not guilty and was granted bail.”

“Where are all the south-south governors who were spitting fire and telling him not to appear before the CCT? Where are the Niger Delta militants that threatened to shut down the moon if they did not leave Onnoghen alone?”

“Even the National Judicial Council his colleagues were harping on as the ones with jurisdiction over the matter told him to go and respond to EFCC when they saw the fresh charges against him.”

“Moral of the story. When the chips are down, you are on your own. If he had jejely gone and resigned in the beginning they would have entered a plea bargain with him and taken some of the money and left some for him to go and enjoy his retirement. But now they will drag him through the mud and he will be badly stained. Meanwhile all the phone numbers of his friends have entered voicemail.”



“Cosmas. I could only think of you when my son spoke. He hasn’t said much. He only called Agbonyibo’s daughter’s name and said she was evil. He said ‘Evae, she is evil’. This worries me greatly.”

“Why do you think he would say that?”

Mr Zubi pulled his chair closer to Cosmas. On a second thought he stood up and opened the door and looked outside to be sure there was no one eavesdropping before he returned to his seat.

“Cosmas. I listen to the things you say and every time I go back and consider them and almost always agree that you speak the truth. Above all, I consider you a wise man, and if I were to ever consider telling a secret, you are the first person that would come to mind. You are a good man.”

“Thank you Mr Zubi but you speak too highly of me. There is none good but one. That is God – Mark 10:8.”

“You are wise so you will be modest. Now I have to tell you this. I am very worried about what my son said because of my own experience which I must tell you now.”

“I’m listening Mr. Zubi.”

“I went to Agbonyibo’s room to talk to him following the wildest thing I have ever heard that happened between his wife and the Landlord. While I was there he offered me his wife.” Mr Zubi paused to see Mr Cosmas’ reaction. But Cosmas was as cool as a cucumber. So he continued.
“That is not even the worrying part. It was that before I knew what was happening he had left the room. And before I could gather myself his wife was naked before me.”

Still, Cosmas remained unruffled. Now Mr Zubi moved even closer.

“See, Cosmas, I am not a saint. I have done things even while married. But a married woman is a line I will not cross. Not with the full knowledge of her husband. Not while everyone knew my whereabouts in the compound I live with my family. But right then, I was devoid of my senses and was rescued by Papa Efe’s rascal and my son. I knew from that day that was was something not right about those people."

“This is serious Mr Zubi.”

“I went to confront Agbonyibo because I heard the Landlord came here and slept with his wife right in his room. Since that time Alhaji Sirika has not stepped foot in this compound. I have heard rumours that my son slept with that girl. Shortly after that he attempted to take his own life. We have seen Agbonyibo perform voodoo. Is it wrong to conclude that 225 Katakata Street has not been the same since that man came here?”

“Hmmm.”

“Okay let us not go too far. The issue of sex and his two women. Why does he give them away so cheaply? Why are they so magnetic, for want of a better term? My people say a dying man always knows his killer. Castro definitely knows something in calling that girl evil because he has been on the brink. We hear of women claiming to be agents of darkness and trapping men like that. Could this be what Agbonyibo is doing with his women? If so, to what end? But firstly Cosmas, tell me, can having sex with a woman drive one to suicide? What is happening to Castro? What exactly do you know about sexual transgression that Agbonyibo for whatever reason maybe exploiting?”

“Indeed there are implications beyond the physical when any random persons engage in sexual intercourse. Sex ordinarily is a purely physical activity engaged in by animals who’s bodies and hormones are fully developed for the activity for the purpose of procreation. It is also permissible from time to time where there is perfect spiritual harmony between two people of the opposite sex for the purpose of inner blending and their physical wellbeing. Now when any random people engage in sexual activities, there is a spiritual disharmony that can have binding effect that can transcend one lifetime. Unfortunately, we now have sex cripples all over the place as human beings. We have been overstimulated and our nerves are now overwrought and enfeebled such that with the slightest stimulation we want to have sex and are having way too much sex. Open Twitter and you will see ‘oh I’m so h*rny I want a man or woman’. Our bodies now control us when we should be controlling our bodies. And because it is the gateway for procreation we have by this way been lending a hand to beings from the nether regions to incarnate and populate the earth! Anyway, that is a topic for another day. For now, I will answer your question and say yes, something can go terribly wrong as a result of a bad sexual choice. An unbelievably large number of human beings on earth today are not supposed to be here and it is because of the choices we have made and the abuse we have subjected our bodies and spirit. You go and have sex with these ones you find yourself where you don’t want to be in this life and even in the next. And this also includes sex in a dysfunctional marriage. It is a tool an evil person can easily exploit. Castro knows what he is saying."

“My God!”

“You shall not use the name of the Lord your God in vain.”

“Sorry Cosmas. I erm. Oh Father. So you mean my son may have been spiritually compromised and driven to suicide?”

“I cannot make any conclusions Mr Zubi. I only told you what I know about sexual activity.”

“We have to do something about Agbonyibo.”

“That may be right. It is dreadful to hear about the Alhaji and his wife if it is true. But I will advise that you tread carefully. Speak to Papa Efe and maybe seek an audience with the Landlord. After all, Alhaji drove him to this compound himself.”

“That is true. Please, what can we do for Castro?”

“The worst is over. Give him psychological care.”

“My wife and Esther want to be praying for him.”

“That is also good.”



Wasiu ran and kept up with Irikefe. “Don’t go in there Efe. You no dey hear word you this foolish boy.”

Irikefe did not behave as if he heard Wasiu at all. This time the hospital staff noticed him. A nurse stopped him by the door of the ward.

“You can’t go in there. The doctor is on his ward round.”

“Watch me” he said and brushed the petite nurse aside and burst into the ward.

Mama Akunna’s bed was surrounded by nurses and a doctor. She was awake and was seated.

“Who are these? They should not come in yet,” The doctor said.

“I am her son. Mama will have no objection. Abi is there any reason why I should not be here?"

“Make him stay” Mama Akunna said.

“Alright if you say so. Gentlemen, we are happy to see that mama is better now. So we will just treat for malaria and she will be ready to go home in a day or two.” Turning to Irikefe and Wasiu he said “She does not need any stress. You understand?”

“We will not stress her” Irikefe said as the hospital staff shuffled out.

Mama Akunna was eating bread soaked in a cocoa beverage and did not bother to look up at her visitors.

“Mama de Mama” Irikefe cheered, choosing to be genial.

“Mama him dey here already. The yeye boy follow me. I tell am to leave you him no hear.”

Mama Akunna continued eating like she did not hear Wasiu. Then Irikefe said “Mama, I happy say you don well. The thing been worry me well well.”

When he saw that Mama Akunna would not be moved he said “Alright. Mama shey you know say me and you understand ourselves. I know say you know where that money wey you thief dey.”

“Oboy don’t talk like that to Mama,” Wasiu said and glared at Irikefe.

“Mama. Abeg tell this boy to comot for here.”

“What?” Wasiu said.

“Mama tell am to comot.”

Mama Akunna looked up at Wasiu with plea in her eyes.

“Mama, you want me to leave you alone with him?”

She maintained that look and Wasiu sighed and turned and walked out of the ward.

“Mama. I no go waste your time. I just want two hundred thousand inside the money.”

“Mama Akunna looked at him and shook her head and dipped bread in her cocoa and chewed.

“You hear me? If you no do am, I dey reach police station from here.”

Mama Akunna without saying anything but her hand under her pillow and produced a wad of notes and handed it to Irikefe. He counted it and said “Twenty thousand? You no hear wetin I talk?”

“De money na Akunna money. Him go kill you.”

Mama Akunna said it so matter of factly that Irikefe had no doubt that she had said the truth. But he was not going to give in just like that.

“If I hear! For money wey una thief!”

Mama Akunna looked him squarely in the eyes and Irikefe found that he could read her unspoken message: remember that blow that landed you in hospital. That was little compared to what an officially sick Akunna would do to you. When she saw he had gotten the message, she continued with her food.

“Alright. I go manage this one for now. But em Mama, e get wetin dey worry me wey I know say na only you fit help.”

“Wetin be dat?”

“You hear of the bee wey come attack my papa for compound?”

“Wasiu tell me.”

“Mama I know say no be ordinary. And my papa no wan tell me anything.”

Mama Akunna started swinging her legs. This was looking good. She hated this little twerp as much as she hated the foreign warlock. How lovely it would be to put them on a collision course. With his father out of the picture, she doubted that he would be able to get away from the crooked monster all by his own if she made him to act foolishly. With the boy out of the picture, the monster will then have a very angry and obviously capable Papa Efe to contend with. Mama Akunna could see her way out of her spiritual prison with this situation if she handled it well. She would make them destroy each other.

She finished her cocoa and tied the remaining bread in its nylon and put everything away and faced Irikefe.

“Na that Togo man. Na him send the bee.”

“What? Why? how? Is he like that?”

“You no know? Na ogbonge winch! Ya papa know na him make he wan close ya papa mouth.”

“What the fvck! Na true o. My papa been say make we investigate the man.” Irikefe sudeenly realized he was giving away too much and held himself and then said “Tell me more mama. Tel me everything you know.”

“You see that man and him wife and pikin? Dem go kill all of una for that house. Him wife and pikin toto na the grave. The man preek na mortuary.”

“Mama wetin concern him preek for this talk now.”

“My pikin. That man dey fvck man for nyash. Him plan na to nack all of una tear una nyash one by one.”

“Mama stop that kind talk abeg.”

“Wetin you think say those men wey dey enter him shop for night dey go do?”

“Are you being serious mama?”

“I don lie before? You know who I be. I no dey lie or pretend for you. Me and de man know awa sef.”

“Bloody hell mama.”

“Na only you fit stop that man. Ya papa dey fear. But you dey strong. You be real man. Na man like you we need to stop dat man. You no suppose keep quiet for dat kind tin wey him do ya papa. And you no go wait till him put him prick for ya nyash.”

“I am very angry right now.”

“I know.”

“I have a good mind to get a gun and end that bastard's life.”

“Do am.”

“Tell me mama, what is the best course of action?”

“If I tell you, you go do am?”

“Mama I will do what I have to do.”

“No tell ya papa o, because if you tell am him no go gree make you do am.”

“I will not tell him anything.”

“Good. Now listen.”

Mama Akunna then proceeded to tell Irikefe what he could do. Irikefe listened and nodded.

“You fit do am?"

“I will do it.”



TO BE CONTINUED.

Fonydear:
I wonder what the council of elders will say about election postponement.
More grace eyeneka, Centino

nice to have you here eyeneka. today's dedicated to you

EkopSparoAyara:
Papa Efe survived the attack of the evil genius,Agbonyibo. Interestingly,he has decided not to rush into action.As a wise man that he is,he wants to keep his “friends close and keep his enemies closer”..He is a man of Valour.

The political vices going on in the country just a day to the election is alarming.It rings a bell that the lives of they electorates is in peril on that fateful day.

I pray Manchester United will be able to do what Barcelona and Real Madrid had done the previous seasons... That would be gross assassination on the confidence of the entire Paris Saint Team but worryingly,Manchester United lack the players with such character..I wish them well.

Castro has given a clue on his recent behaviour.Mama Willy-Willy will soon know the cause of the sudden closeness between Mr Zubi and Castro.Trouble is looming.
I can't help but wonder what Mr Cosmos will lectrure Mr Zubi on.

This Irikefe guy,things has a way of unfolding before his eyes..Wasiu and Mama Akunna are now at Irikefe's beck and call.

Agbonyibo.I hope so too, if not,you are doomed.
Achike,enjoy it while it last.Your time is ticking.Tick tock tick tock..You will be history soon like Alhaji Sirika.

Where is Kingsley(the under taker)hiding?
Maybe he is hiding his face from shame.Or he is still finding it difficult to accept Achike's flawless victory.

I support every english team out there on the european tournament until they are out..

BRAVO CENTINO.

I don talk too much today..

Correct man!

KingKunleClown:
Papa Efe must really come back for this evil Agbonfineboy... What has that gentle old man done eh?? Anyways the last two updates got pepper... Please Centino, I don't mind you being a bot, just please tell us more about this heaven and hell of a topic... You really have the brain... God bless you Centino and I love you...
Come and marry my sister, she can cook dessi very well...

Thanks man. Will revisit the topic in the future.

INLAW


Residents of 225 Katakata street were left perplexed by the bee attack on Papa Efe.

“What is this one again ehn? Bees just suddenly came out of the ground and bit only Papa Efe and flew away. The kind of strange things that are happening in this Buhari era. Saturday cannot come soon enough.”

“How is this one Buhari’s fault now?”

“Can’t you see? First, it was January rain. For like one week you would have thought that it was July. Then now bees left the forest and appeared in Papa Efe’s room. these are the type of things that happened in the times of the bad kings of yore.”

“It must have come from his village. Papa Efe is a rebel there and they have finally found him.”

“All of this happens because there is no light. I am happy Buhari has said that he would probe the $16billion Obasanjo spent to provide light yet we are still in darkness which is making it possible for end time things to be happening now.”

“He can’t touch Obasanjo.”

“Don’t be too sure. It will be his second and last term. He has no future votes to fight for. Obasanjo has pissed him off enough.”

“And he has thrown his former SGF Babachir Lawal whom we first thought was untouchable to the dogs. That one has been arraigned by EFCC. In his second term, he will be more brutal. One of Amaechi or Tinubu will get in the dock. Mark my words.”

“Has to be Amaechi then, after those tapes.”

“Do you think Buhari will win on Saturday?”

“By hook or by crook. Tinubu followed the bodybag threats of El Rufai by telling international observers to just come and quietly write their report and go. You know what that means. Suddenly they are singing the sovereignty of Nigeria. It is now they know they are sovereign. When it is time to treat their ailments or look for loans they will embezzle they will run abroad for help. But for a chance to grow our democracy in free and fair elections we are sovereign.”

“Oshiomhole allegedly said that PDP may win but that APC will be announced.”

“Do you now blame Governor Amosu for arranging boys to stone that his frog head the other day in Abeokuta?”

“Well, the problem with that was that the President was on the same stage. You don’t do that to a President and commander in chief. The APC has already said they would discipline Amosun after the election.”

“We can safely say we will soon see Amosu in the Allied People’s Movement whose governorship candidate he supports.”

“But let’s be truthful, that is anti-party activity. You are in one party and you are supporting another.”

“Didn’t Buhari also say that the people should vote for him for President but vote for any candidate of their choice for other elective offices? It is politics jare. Selfish Nigerian politics of interest.”

“Meanwhile they are burning down INEC offices everywhere. First, it was in Plateau, then Abia, and then Anambra. Now the PDP campaign office in Kano has also been razed.”

“It all cannot be a coincidence. Is this not the definition of do or die politics?”

“The crowd for PDP in Kano has made the ruling party jittery. You know Kano is strategic.”

“Kwankwaso rewrote the history books there. Imagine an ex-governor pulling such crowd. What you saw there was the Kwankwaso factor. Atiku is the luckiest man alive to be supported by such a juggernaut.”

“Everywhere the crowds are outdoing each other. It is not by the crowd that comes out for the rallies. It is the numbers that come out to vote.”

“Me I think many are there because they are bored or they think they will be sharing money. In some of those states, nothing ever happens so when they hear there is a big politician in town the people just troop out to go and see. Just like they attend funerals as no other kind of parties happen there."

“So they will just go out there and die like they died in the APC rally in Rivers?”

“Tragic. See dead bodies. Bad omen. I can’t vote for a such a party.”

“They used them for sacrifice since they could not get Osinbajo.”

“Did anybody see Oluwa Burna post intimate video of himself with that British rapper with big nyash…what is her name sef… Stefflon Don. Abeg, is that not inferiority complex?” It was Lukman. It was his custom to change topic to entertainment while Mkpoikanna would always favour sports. The older men now kept quiet. “Usually it is girls that post evidence of their new catch. Burna boy been disgracing manhood since the time of Fela.”

“He never dreamt he would be rolling with a chic like that. She was only recently linked with Drake.”

“She actually came out to tell fans to calm down that Burna had not yet ‘hit it’. Which disgrace is bigger than that?”

“She will just vex and shout rape and that will be the end of his career. Are there no musician girls in Nigeria? Did he not see Yemi Alade?”

“That one nyash too strong. You want him to get pen*s fracture?”

“Meanwhile Cardi B won best rap album in the Grammys. First solo female to do so.”

“Injustice to Nikii minaj, Lil Kim and Missy Elliot. Girls who've been doing it for decades. Who be Cardi B?”

“And did you see her locking tongues with Offset whom she so publicly broke up with recently?”

“Lesson. When a husband and wife quarrel, never put your mouth. Those two set social media on fire and people were insulting each other and also breaking up because of them. See them now?”

“Seun Kuti was at the Grammys too. He was nominated.”

“Abeg leave that nonsense nomination. Na so dem nominate him brother every day but he never won. They know there are two hundred million people in Nigeria and if they nominate one Cow from here they will get more audience and more TV money so they keep giving your people false hope. Did you even hear that Seun Kuti released an album? Did you even know he was still alive? how was he ever going to win a Grammy?”

“Mehn see scam.”

“Dey dia.”

“Meanwhile see PSG chastening for Man United. To think that the people were dreaming of winning the Champions league because Ole Gunner Solskjar helped them beat Arsenal and Tottenham. If there was any doubt about the strength or lack of it of the English game, that was your answer.”

“They are lucky Neymar and Cavani did not play. What happened to Chelsea the other day would have repeated itself.”

“Mbappe Mehn…how good is he? The boy run pass okada.”

“Some people mention Rashford in the same sentence with Mbappe. Joke of the Century. Man U should better continue their chase of Zidane. Luck will soon leave the baby faced assassin. Wait until Chelsea knock them out of the FA cup.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Mr Zubi was bored since the young boys took over. “ Efe have you gone to see your father?”

“I am going soon. I am waiting for Mama Cowbell to finish cooking so that I can take something for him.”

“Alright. Greet him for us.”

“Mama Akunna is in the same hospital. You can greet her for us too.”

“God forbid bad thing.”



Irikefe did not like God Dey hospital or any other hospital for that matter. Though this one had received a facelift courtesy of a local government chairmanship aspirant and now boasted more beds, more doctors, equipment like incubators, ventilators and anesthetic machines, it was still a place of sickness and hurt and death. He has had to make too frequent trips there because of all the many calamities of Katakata street and he wanted that to stop. Going there for the sake of his father who did not look for trouble made the whole thing even more unpleasant.

Papa Efe looked like he survived a ghastly automobile accident. His head was visibly swollen and bandaged.

“Papa, what is this?”

“Na bee bite me.”

“Papa this was an attack.”

“Yes. Bee.”

“No. I mean spiritual Attack. Where bees go come from? They only entered our room and bit you and flew away!”

“Na so I see am.”

“Papa you should know na.”

“My pikin I am feel pain now. Maybe later I go think am.”

“Was it from the village?”

“I no know?”

“Was it from the compound?”

“I say I no know.”

“Papa we can’t let them get away with this.”

“Who?”

“Whoever it is. You must know how to find out.”

“I don’t find trouble. I just want rest.”

“Me I will not rest till I find out.”

Papa Efe held his son’s wrist in a firm grip and sat up.

“I don tell you not to do anything. I go dey fine.”

Irikefe shrugged and said “Papa I know you. I know you know what has happened and you know want to do.”

“I want to manage and chop this rice and beans you bring for me then I go sleep. I hope say Mama Cowbell put the pepper stew? E be like say I wan vomit.”

“Papa na de pepper stew she put. Don’t change the topic.”

Papa Efe knew his son was impulsive and needed to be careful.

“My son. Leave this matter. No be every time you will be boiling like cocoyam inside pot. Sometimes you have to keep quiet and do like mumu. I beg you make you learn this. Calm down. If you sabi only one tune, you no go fit dance till day break.”



Castro was discharged after three days. Castro was pretty much the way he was before his suicide attempt. He clearly needed help. The doctor’s referred him to Yaba left. But Mr. Zubi decided to talk it through with his wife and the sympathetic Sister Esther; who was adamant what Castro needed was prayers.

“A young vibrant boy cannot from one day to the next become psychologically ill. He cannot blame a defective childhood or any of those things oyinbo people say. He was born here. We have always been poor but happy. This is clearly the handiwork of the devil.”

“Esther I hear you. But they already prayed and not much happened,” Mr Zubi said.

“If you go to your earthly father and make a request, does he always grant it at the first ask? Sometimes you have to go again and again. It is the same with our heavenly father. You must keep praying till your request is granted.”

“Evae.”

“What did you say Castro?” his mother said and the three of them turned to him.

“Evae,” he said again. Though he was weak and groggy, his voice rang clear.

“She is evil.”

“Blood of Jesus. My father! Yahweh who never lies. I said it. I saw it!” Sister Esther said.

“Did you have anything to do with her.”

“She is evil,” he repeated and cocked his head to one side and slept off. It was as if someone pressed a remote control and he was out.

“Allow him to rest. We have heard enough. Brother, sister. We have our prayer point,” Sister Esther said.

“We have more than a prayer point,” Mr Zubi said and went in search of Cosmas.



As he stepped out of the hospital building, Irikefe saw Wasiu alight from an Okada and paying the rider. If there was anything he knew about Wasiu, it was that Wasiu never embarked on anything for which there was no gain to himself. What was he doing at the hospital carrying his Igbo knapsack? On a hunch, Irikefe decided to reenter the building quickly and blend in with the crowd at the reception. He watched as Wasiu entered and made for the female ward. It was a busy mid-morning and God Dey Hospital was notorious for its disorderliness. Staff and patients streamed in all directions. You could hear screaming and shouting from the Emergency Ward and injection rooms and nurses admonishing shouting at patients and even other staff members flirting on the corridors. No one paid attention to Irikefe where he stood by the open door of the ward and peeped at what unfolded inside. Mama Akunna stood and counted plenty of money and handed it to Wasiu and gave him instructions. Wasiu then pulled out a big bottle of stout and some other items in a nylon bag and he watched as everything disappeared under Mama Akunna’s pillow. They spoke for a while and Wasiu cheered and threw a few dance steps and then zipped his bag and turned to leave. Irikefe could not get away quickly enough so he ducked to one side and as Wasiu stepped out he followed behind and held his arm as he exited the hospital building.

“I know everything so don’t even try to lie. How dare you Wasiu?”

“How dare me what?”

“Connive with that old thieving witch!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about?"

“You don’t? Alright. Watch me go to the police.”

“Hey hey…calm down na, Haba. Your blood too dey hot.”

“Tell me everything.”

“See, I don’t know anything. All I know is that Mama needs to be here and she has money.”

“The money she stole?”

“She didn’t tell me that and I wasn’t there. You know Mama has always been my person. We are business partners.”

“Wasiu. You. Business partners with Mama Akunna.”

“See Efe, I don’t want any more trouble. How about pretending you didn’t see anything. It won’t hurt you to just face your front.”


Irikefe started to think. This may not be so bad afterall.

“Okay. Dey go. I will go and speak with her.”

“You will do no such thing. She is unconscious.”

“You dey crase,” Irikefe said and marched back into the hospital.”

“Wait for me!” Wasiu said and followed him inside.



Abgonyibo sat and thought. He was uneasy. He hoped for his own good that he had done the right thing. The old man should now know to mind his business. There was a rap on the door and Achike entered. Agbonyibo stood and shook hands warmly with him.

“My inlaw” Agbnyibo said. “Welcome.”

Achike was so happy to be called in-law that tears stung his eyes. If he ever needed surgery at that moment it would be to sew his mouth together because his smile continued to widen and he could not stop it. He could not even put himself together to talk to Agbonyibo.

“I see say you happy well well,” Agbonyibo said.

Achike heaved and put himself together and said yes. Then very unexpectedly he plumped on his knees before Agbonyibo and said “Father-in-law. Thank you. God bless you. You removed shame from my face. Whatever you touch will prosper.”

“No my inlaw. No need you do this, please stand up.”

Achike returned t his seat and now began to dab tears from his eyes.”

“Evae!” He called.

Then she came in. Achike’s breath almost left him. She had made a new hairstyle. She wore their trademark white Tshirt and one piece wrapper and came and knelt before Achike. Her eyes were like a cats. Her chin pointed like a gun. She did not say anything. She just beheld him. She was so beautiful Achike wept. Then she went closer and put her hand round his head and made it to rest on her bosom. They stayed that way for a full minute. Then Agbonyibo spoke.

“I know why you come. No worry about anything. We go do the marriage later. I don give you my pikin. You fit do with am as you like.”

“Like, she can come and spend the night with me?”

“Yes. But after this night. The first night you go sleep for here. Na our culture be dat.”

“Where will you sleep? I mean, you and my mother-in-law?”

“No worry about us. We fit use your room if you gree.”

“Why not? You are now my parents"

“You fit even do your wife now if you want.”

“What? You mean, now?”

Agbonyibo smiled and stood up and went to the door. At the same time Evae stood and let her wrapper drop and with one swift movement of her hand her blouse followed. She only had on her waist beads.

“My husband. Wetin you dey wait for?”


TO BE CONTINUED.

princessConfy:
centino don't forget to mention me..

Check back later dear. E go too pain me if dem ban me. They don't like it when I mention.

Bukolaberry:
Ha centino , well done o, please the flight don land, and please try to connect this update with those spiritual aspects it gives more insight on life it self, but who are ?, This story is more of life reality but from another angle most people are not aware of, when u finish u go tell us who u be among those characters.but are you aware that most of the update are somehow related to what we read and hear in our place of worship.

Lol. That's the whole point of the story na. Something we are familiar with and can identify with. I am a nonconformist so you will also see "reality but from another angle". Who I am doesn't matter. Enjoy the story. Get curious about life and existence. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. It is scriptural.

Abeg I dey write my today update. See you later

Youngzubi:
centino never stops delivering,well done boss

please try and consider that midweek update,its on high demand. Cant just get enough of this craft

Later today...

jagugu88li:
Centino, is there something wrong with your email?

Fixed now. Sent you a PM.

Rimsd:
Baba Centino Weldon work ooo, nice update buh abeg mek u dey help drop midweek own nah na beg I dey ooo....

Working on solving this midweek update thing once and for all my guy. E get wetin dey hold me. But make we dey watch.

honourable356:
So he decided to attack papa efe??
He didn't learn his lesson when his daughter tried to attack Papa Efe son?

That papa Efe the man who seem to have the antidote for every attack is a dangerous somebody...
A man of few words should be not be taken for a coward..so attacking him is a total declaration of war.

It would be interesting to see how the sleeping Lion come roaring in anger.

Castro?? Only three things can kill a man:
1. Woman.

2. Cigarette

3. Too much alcohol.

This might be fun but it was also indirectly pointing a powerful message...those dying to knack that girl should be weary for not everything is what it seem it is.

Achike? He is gone except Papa Efe save him...For he is the only one who can.

Many faith, different understand to the words.I won't give sermon concerning heaven or hell fire...for it would derail this beautiful story. SO let's skip!

Chelsea being mauled 6-0 is expected but I didn't expect the score line to be this embarrassing. And Centino knowing Chelsea would lose, choose to draw attention to it before a ball is kicked,tactically mocking Chelsea...

That is what Manchester united fans are known for...

He laughs..

Keep the good work centino.

EkopSparoAyara...Your analysis of today's update is spot on.
He nods repeatedly in acknowledgement!

FLAWS:

1. Your descriptive aspect of the story has been thrown out of the window compared as to when you first started.

2. Some of your character fade completely into oblivion.

3. If the audience can predict successfully your next line of action or even close to that, you have lost it. It should not be a routine for you to toy in the same pathway repeatedly...

Therefore I say to you,be UNPREDICTABLE giving the audience reasons to talk about stuffs they don't see coming.

Exceptional raw talent.
More untapped potential:
That is what you are!

I continue to appreciate your effort.
You are rare!

My honourable! Well said. Missed you around here

All noted. And thanks for the accolades.

Meanwhile, not a Man U fan o. Neutral on these pages. But take heart ehn...Just join the #sarriout movement. If coaches like Gourdiola and Poch will constantly tweak teams and formations according to opponents and as the games unfold, how will anybody think they can do the same thing everyday and get a different result?

Cheers man!

honourable356:
First of all Centino, lighten will stuck and burn that exact passage where you wrote that Manchester city will decimate Chelsea.

Hahahahaha that's easy to predict na. A notoriously obstinate coach with a system everyone has worked out.

KpagoGIN:
The agbon family obviously is the wrath sent by the coven, Judgement has been declared on Katakata street. The only ace Papa efe and his son have is that first blood wasn't drawn by them so the element of surprise lies with Papa efe and what he was in his past life.

I must confess KpagoGIN. You come close everytime. Sometimes I wonder if you see my notes. #respect.

EkopSparoAyara:
Centino, I sight you viewing this thread.... Welcome..

Yeah bro. Checking to see what y'all think. Good job there man!

debh:
Oga centino l hail thee.

Agbo wants to bring out the real colour of papa
Efe(retired first order wizard) .
How come agbo cannot access who papa Efe is in spirit realm?

I guess papa efe will show agbo d meaning of touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm. Except Oga centino decides to twist

Good thinking man!

EkopSparoAyara:
Am just picturing Agbonyibo as a secret agent with those his tentative moves...Nice body movements though but I think it should have been TWO FINGERS instead of TWO HANDS since he took a swig from his bottle with one hand...

Achike at this point all I can utter is; I pity the very essence of your existence....Sorry for you..

Castro it's one thing to think of suicide and another to think of a suitable place for it,where no one will come to your aid...You're so Lucky... Thank God for your brother.... EWU GAMBIA...

I never liked the way Hell fire has been painted...I didn't want to believe that we were created to later be left to roast up in an unquenchable fire forever...But I didn't know every character and form of death has it own region it will go to after death..Centino, you just keep bringing up new perspectives,changing our line of thoughts and believes.... I asked before and you gave me an answer that I find rather hilarious...Who are you?? Are you an entity like that of Agbonyibo??

Papa Efe,I hope this trick of Agbonyibo will not get you scared... You're the only one who can boldly stand up against him,Mama Akunna has failed herself and her entity....

Where is the landlord,Alhaji Sirika....No one has heard from him since the incident with Mrs Agbonyibo..

BRAVO CENTINO...

Honourable356, Youngzubi and pheelz....I haven't heard from you guys..
Phoenixcap,Ann 2012...I sight you..

Again you just break it down so well. Good job man. Indeed we have to find the alhaji

True about the honourable and Youngzubi and pheezie. Hope they're alright.

phoenixchap:
Centino you break down everyday lives in your right ups and it marvel me always I remember how you started and when I look back you have really come a long way.. Kudos bro, papa Efe is the adult in the market that won't allow the head of the infant go bend therefore no evil should befall him

We've come a long way indeed man. And there's no slowing down

princessConfy:
from the story so far can I assume papa efe to be a herbalist or a witch?
Oga centino I know you don't answer my questions but no wahala.
more ink to your pen, data to your phone and more inspiration

Nor vex

Answered the last one but modified since I'd rather one of the characters in the story explained it. Keep reading. You'll see your answer soon.

Hello everyone, my apologies I couldn’t reply to comments at all last week. Was a busy one for me. Believe me, I value your comments and feedback and suggestions and it is always nice to see newcomers. I welcome all of them to the thread. For the question of midweek updates, I’m working on consistency in that regard. I will soon be making an announcement that will mean I cannot shy away from midweek updates anymore. Watch this space. For now, Sunday is surest but you can still check mid-week. You never know. Happy Sunday folks.



AFTER DEATH


As the men cheered and teased the still bemused Achike, Agbonyibo suddenly had that disconcerting invasive feeling. There were eyes on him.

Don’t stop what you are doing to look for the eyes. Don’t let the stalker know you have noticed his activity. Don’t even let the people around sense your discomfort. Ordinary people could act without giving it a thought, but for beings like him, sometimes, life and death were at stake. It required extreme circumspection. First, you want to know if it is by rote, maybe out of idleness the gaze is just fixed at you with no ill intention. If so, carry on and don’t even spoil the person’s fun. If you determine it is premeditated and you know the stalker, what you must do next is deconstruct the character of this person. Is he or she a known trouble maker who may just be seeking a target? Is this person pleasant or antagonistic or indifferent towards you face to face? Crucially, Is he or she someone you have worried about before?

Agbonyibo kept himself excited as everyone else while his mind worked. Now he had to meet the eyes without giving away anything. He started by eliminating those that were jollying with him and worked out the handful he needed to find without them knowing he was looking for them. He took a swig from his bottle and raised his two hands to receive the loudest cheers and then with the concentration of a chicken thief in the midst of all the jolliness he spun and caught the two pairs of eyes that were on him.

The caretaker and his slippery son.

They watched him for a good five minutes and Agbonyibo became convinced that the pair were on his case.

He did not want to dwell on Irikefe’s successful evading of his daughter. That was a dangerous anomaly for a boy whose reputation went before him. But it was the right decision not to do anything about it. He had been observing the caretaker and knew that there was more to the unusually taciturn man. Agbonyibo however decided that he would only be concerned if the man invaded his space. Right now it seemed like Papa Efe was crossing the line.

When he sensed that the two men had watched him enough and no one else was paying him any attention, he sneaked away and went to his shop.

Agbonyibo knew what to do.



The Achike decision was an easy one. Up on the roof the night before, they talked about it.

“He is the most despicable one, isn’t he? So it had to be him.”

“And he cooks well. We will teach him how to make akuma and pate and yassa and gbomo dessi and then we can concentrate on other things.”

“How long will you be married to him?”

“The question my king, I believe, is how long will he live?”

“Yes princess.”

“It depends. He is fat. If he dies on top of me the first night everyone will understand.”

“That will be too soon my princess. Besides, I want him too.”

“Alright my king. I will spare him until you are tired of him. But there are other targets.”

“We have time my princess. We are here for the long haul.”

“As you wish my king.”

“How about Castro?”

“Is he still alive?”



It was Willy-willy that discovered him. He had just succeeded in stealing his first can of beer and wanted to go and hide it in his school bag while everyone was outside when he saw his brother writhing on the floor with an empty bottle of ‘sniper’ beside him. There were few eleven-year-olds smarter than Willy-willy. He knew at once what was happening and so did not waste time raising the alarm that saved Castro’s life. Castro was rushed to the hospital where the doctors had just been battling a similar case. He was quickly fed the readily available activated charcoal and then the stomach was irrigated using special solutions. The doctors explained that the charcoal bound to the poison and stopped its further absorption into the blood. Then he was given drips and rehydrated and monitored. Castro stayed admitted while the council of elders met on the matter.

“I did not think that I will live to see an African youth wanting to kill himself. We see this all the time in the West when all those spoilt children after eating to their full and don’t have to worry about money for education and the like will just get bored and do those type of things to themselves. Our people are supposed to be tougher than that.”

“Those that even tried it here used to go to third mainland bridge and jump inside the water.”

“I think when they don’t have cars or don’t have transport money to go there they started using sniper.”

“Who even started this sniper own? Awero here did it the traditional way. Just put a rope around your neck and kick the stool and go.”

“It was when that video of mallams preserving beans with sniper made the rounds and people started saying that sniper could kill. Then I think one or two people experimented with drinking the whole bottle and it took on. The most celebrated case was that Asiwaju guy on twitter that was accused of rape. He responded by drinking sniper in a hotel room.”

“Gentlemen, how can you be so insensitive? We are talking about Castro, a boy we know and love. And his father is here.”

“Sorry, Cosmas. Sorry Mr Zubi.”

“Let them talk Cosmas. I am not offended. What I need are answers. Have I been such a bad father?”

“It has nothing to do with you Mr Zubi, sir. We know you. It is deeper than that.” It was Irikefe that spoke now. He did not always contribute when the elders spoke but everyone knew he was friends with Castro and they understood if he spoke up now.

“It is…” Irikefe received an elbow in the rib and a glare from his father, so he kept quiet.

“The boy had been showing signs of depression. He has been withdrawn and we all carried on as if it was normal. Now we have to accept that mental illness is real and watch out for the telltale signs and help our people. It is no longer an affliction of the West. When someone begins to withdraw and behave uncharacteristically, we should put an arm around them and encourage them and try to talk to them and even call in professionals. There are NGO’s these days committed to that.”

“We should also do deliverance on them. Don’t underestimate the devil.”

“They did deliverance on Castro and he still made the attempt.”

“The deliverance was not complete. It is because his mother was not serious. They are supposed to be praying for him every morning and night for at least two weeks. Some demons are resilient.”

“So upon all the prayers that Esther is paying in this compound demons still enter here?”

“We have a witch here don’t forget. Her prayer has not stopped that one.”

Papa Efe glared at his son again. Efe knew he would be thrown out of the gathering if he spoke again.

“Okay gentlemen. On a brighter note, my son is still alive. I noticed a change in him I took for granted. Surely I know now to pay greater attention. I will advise everyone here to do the same. Suicide is no longer a White man’s predilection. Our people are now more open to it unfortunately so we must all be conscious of it and extend a helping hand without judging.”

“But why would anyone do it? I still don’t understand. You just use your hand and buy your ticket to hell fire.”

“There is no hell fire my friend. Well, it does not exist in the traditional sense.”

“Mr Cosmas has come again. So if it does not exist, is it heaven that those that commit suicide go to?”

“I don’t know if you want me to talk about this now Mr Zubi.”

“Go ahead.”

“There is paradise and there are the nether regions. Where you go to after death depends on the density or lightness of your soul when it leaves the physical body. A person of base propensities will be heavy and descend to the regions where he will be with people that are like him where they will engage themselves in the kind of vices they engaged in while on earth. And a soul that is light and luminous will ascend to the lighter spheres also corresponding to the lightness of his soul and he will be with people of a similar nature to him. Now for those who descend to the nether regions, there is no torment greater than that. Even the best description of hell does not tell the story of the horror that goes on there. Murderers will find themselves in the midst of other murderers where they will perpetually be trying to kill each other but they will not die because they are no longer flesh. Instead, they will continue to rage maniacally and attack each other nonstop for decades and even centuries. Drunks will find themselves among their ilk. The sexually perverted the same thing. The avaricious, the envious… It is uncontrolled raging of the base propensities they had on earth that you cannot even imagine. Now for those who commit suicide and think they are escaping their problems, they will be surprised to wake up and find themselves in an environment full of suicidal people who will continue to suffer the frustrations that drove them to suicide in greater force because over there in the ethereal thought is deed. There is no material substance to cushion or even stall the volition once it is sent forth. A person that died by hanging himself will find that he will continue to feel the noose on his neck and the pain will remain there along with all his frustrations without any restraint. If the person died by drowning, he will wake up to find himself struggling in water for eternity. Or until such a time when they reach a recognition and cry for help and then a helping hand will be extended to them.

"You have no idea what a privilege it is to be alive. Your physical body offers protection you cannot get in any other plane of existence. It is only here that good and evil exist side by side. That is why we are born so that we can use the protection of our bodies to mature and cast off our faults so that we become light and be able to ascend to paradise where we came from when we die. But when we only engage our base propensities, we also prepare ourselves for an existence in the beyond that is worse than the worst thing you can think of. Crucially I must say since this is what gave rise to the conversation, suicide is not the answer. You will wake up to find that you were better off on earth.”

“Mr Cosmas, so please who goes to hellfire?”

“The Almighty loving father I believe in did not build a furnace where he will put his children. No. There is no such hell fire. But because human beings have thought about it for millennia their collective thoughts have formed such a place in the beyond for them. Every thought is a living form, and it will merge with similar thoughts and bring to existence in the ethereal that with is thought about. Hell fire exists for those who want to go there but it is not a creation of the Almighty.”

“I will not think about it again.”

“Good for you. The admonition is to keep the hearth of your thoughts pure. Or as Paul said to the Philippians “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent and praiseworthy, think about such things and the God of peace will be with you.”



Wasiu sauntered in as Mr. Cosmas finished his admonition and stood beside Irikefe.

“This man still dey preach?”

“Guy, he is making mad sense. Where you dey come from?”

“I go Teslim Balogun Stadium go see Baba. Sai Baba!”

“Him remember say na Lagos be dis? Abi him call am Ondo?”

“Him head correct today. Him know where him dey.”

“If to say you go near, him for lift your hand as the next ‘governortorial candidate.’ The blunders don too much abeg. Make him go rest.”

“Wetin concern me? Na market I really go sell. Boys need to get high to fit cheer.”

“You hear when Tinubu call Obasanjo expired milk?”

“I hear am live! The man has no chill I swear. Good for Baba Iyabo. Why him no go rest? We all know say him rig election for Yar’Adua, kill people for Odi, was poor when he came out of prison but retired to a mansion. Guy, check am na, that na pot calling kettle black.”

Mr Cosmas had now stopped talking and someone mentioned El Rufai. Irikefe wanted to hear this one so he hushed Wasiu.

“El Rufai threatened the international community. Now the International Criminal Court are looking at him. When will that midget learn to shut his trap?”

“Imagine threatening to put election observers in body bags!”

“He has too many of them and knows only death that’s why. Doesn’t he preside over Southern Kaduna where the killings never stop? Macabre Governor!”

“That is not even all. I am hearing that he declared N90 billion in his assets declaration form. Where in heaven’s name did he get that type of money from? A public servant!”

“He will tell us like Onnoghen that it is through forex trading and agriculture. Imagine that the notoriously underperforming Governor Ortom of Benue was claiming the other day that he was a billionaire before he came to power. A man that has been in public service all his life as well? What do these people take us for?"

“He said he has a farm. They all have multi-million dollar minting farms. Thunder fire all of them.”

“At last ASUU has called off the strike and our children can return to school.”

“You think they are happy? Some of them wanted to stay till after elections.”

“Who will help them snatch ballot boxes if the students are not in school? They know what they are doing.”

“At least they will not be disenfranchised. There are polling units all over campuses. That would have been more than a million votes short.”

“The only good thing that has happened this week is that Man U is now in the top four and Solkjaer is rightly manager of the month. The question I have is that, what will the next employers of Mourinho be thinking? I mean, has a football managerial failure been more glaring in the modern game?”

“The sweetest thing about the Man U result is that Chelsea play City. Watch Man City decimate Chelsea later today to cement our place in the top four.”

“Make we bet? E no go happen. Chelsea now have Higuain combining with Hazard and Gourdiola is wary of Sarri. Never write off Chelsea.”



Achike was not finding the gathering funny anymore. And it was all because of the discovery of Castro’s attempted suicide in the midst of his celebration. He could not wait to go and impregnate his lovely Evae. He reckoned Agbonyibo would not have any objection to her spending that night with him even though they were yet to discuss formalizing the union. Agbonyibo was the most liberal of men. Achike blessed God for bringing the man to Katakata Street. He was going to be the best son- in-law in the entire universe! He just could not wait to lay his hand on the young angel. See how God worked? After all the suffering in the hands of women. Indeed, good things came to those who wait. He also could not wait to see the rascal Chisco. Since he came back he had been flaunting his affair with that old cargo whose first lover wass now back and they were all living together. See the rubbish? He just could not wait to finally accost the small rat. He brought Chisco to Lagos. And Chisco will always be under him in every way!



As soon as Papa Efe opened the door and entered his room he was attacked by a swarm of bees from nowhere. The bites were all to his face and head. It felt like multiple nails were being driven into his skull. He screamed for help and neighbors rushed to his aid and the bees all flew out of the room and into the evening skies. He remembered seeing Agbonyibo’s smiling face before he passed out.

In his dream that same night in his hospital bed he saw a big bird by his bedside and it said to him “I am what I am to protect myself and my family. I give trouble only to those who ask for it and help speed up the karma of those that deserve it. Mind your business.”


TO BE CONTINUED