₦airaland Forum

In the real sense, i concur with this write up because it is basically reality,the commonest trend in this contemporary days, however, there are some exceptional cases.
It will sound offensive for some people, especially ladies in some latter part of the category but truly this is a close fact except you're in denial.
But note, whatever or wherever you fall,remember,with God all things are possible.Just pray/ask,be patient and stedfast,God will surely answer.
I've seen exceptional cases, and there are still more that'll still happen.

Happy new year everyone.

First of all anyone can marry from anywhere, it is a matter of choice. However, it is easier to marry someone that you see almost every time or that is close to you.On the other hand, there are different factors that can lead to whoever you connect with such as the environment, your family background, your personality, Church,School and even your friends too can be of influence. It is very naïve of someone to now generalize that because Nigerian girls are materialistic and all that, that is why Nigerian men are not marrying them.
May I tell you that greater percentage of Nigerian men abroad are still marrying and would still marry Nigerian women.
It is easier for Nigerian men to be carried away or overshadowed with a Western love because we Nigerians are not groomed well in that sense but basically are taught to be respectful. Our parents show us their love in different ways but definitely not in a romantic way unlike the Westerners/foreigners.
Sex is also not a big of a deal to most Westerners/foreigners. Our men like easy or free sex.
Another factor is that the economy is favorable in the Western world compared to our harsh economy, therefore, ladies do not care much about present and future security because a lot of government aides /laws are available for them, perhaps anything happens e.g Child support, Unemployment, Food Link card etc
Level of exposure cannot also be underestimated. Attraction as well as the feeling that foreigners especially ‘Whites’ are better than Black pushes some men to fall into that situation. That is why you see that most of our men do not always marry the well educated amongst the Westerners/foreigners except a very few. Divorce is common after a while.
Some are desperately in need of changing their status(stay/papers). It is easier to lure them into that than to lure a Nigerian woman(Smarter).
An inevitable factor is family. Not everyone can deal with the extended family issues, so they settle for the Western woman/foreigner who might not have a large family.
Lastly some just naturally get admiration for the White folks/foreigners, not because of Nigerian women are these or that.

Men,stop complaining about a woman being materialistic because the ball is in your court.Don't spend if you don't want to spend, rather look for one of your caliber that is hardworking,focused,busy,disciplined with present/future ambition etc except your caliber is opposite of what i'd mentioned.

Good questions.Patiently waiting for the OP to answer these questions with reasonable facts and not fictions.

menesheh:
What are the looks of spiritual husband.
Did he possess senses?
can he make love?
is he capable of loving?
Did he possess physical body?
Lastly how do you know about spiritual husband ?

antifailure:
. Hi, Charismatic 1, I am an ordained minister. I pray to become an ordained prophet in Jesus name. Why did you ask pls?

I asked because i read your comment where you prophesied to someone,so i was thinking if that was real or a joke.Just inquisitive.

antifailure:
Any Nurse contact pls, any single and searching nurse , pls send me email. I am very serious.

Hello antifailure.Are you a prophet of God?

Worksunlimited:
Hi.. Are you on whatsapp?

Yes I am,sorry just seeing your message.Guess my response is late.

This is a very sad story but I guarantee you that with time the girl will be alright pretty soon and the guy will most probably be very unhappy in his marriage.
As a matter of fact,there is nothing wrong in quitting a relationship for good reasons,however, there are lots of things wrong when you become deceptive,untruthful, manipulative,sly etc.
When dating/courtship is becoming too long,it is not good for both parties especially for ladies.
I pray the lady will look back soonest and thank God for making this breakup to happen.
For the guys,if you are not interested in a relationship,please man up immediately and breakup politely/decently/respectfully,don't wait till the very end.

omonnakoda:
Are you ? no jokes . The first time a woman misspeaks is the time to put a stop to it PERMANENTLY otherwise it will grow like Boko Haram. The reaction should be so severe that she NEVER tries it again. Now it appears to have become a habit but my question is what did the OP do the FIRST time she talked down at him. There are dozens of women out there and so no woman should hold any man to ransom. Give her a sound trashing regularly and you would see changes

If truly you're not a comedian,i pray the OP won't read this your comment.It's quite disturbing.Perhaps he does read this,i'm hoping he is wise enough to follow some Godly and matured advices on this thread,since he isn't married to a child.Some children these days do not even need to be beating before doing the right thing.
I do not know you or your background,but assault/beating a woman is not the right thing to do.It is called ABUSE,and it has never made relationships better.There are better ways that a man can make a woman respect him not by "canning",let to talk of "canning" for no reason as you've mentioned earlier.

Please stop it if you have bn assaulting/beating your wife/girlfriend.It is not good.Remember,everyday is for the thief,one day is for the owner.She might decide to kill you / poison you out of frustration.Easy does it.

omonnakoda:
You need to beat her.Now I am not talking about beating her for her bad behaviour and all that just come home and beat her for no reason. If she does not talk to you the next day beat her some more..
If you search your conscience and you cannot do this then I am sorry you are not the right match.Do not let anyone deceive you with that modern man nonsense and for god's sake stop doing house chores.what is that?
Don't mistake me when I say beat,do not use your fists go out and get several durable canes and the next time she misbehaves give her full body head to toe trashing.Trash her until she confesses you are lord,show no mercy. Next beat her for no reason so she does not know what is coming I suggest at least 3 times a week but you an increase the dose depending on tolerance and response.

Are you a comedian?

Hello,my advise to you is to take an extra semester if you're almost 100% sure you can make a 2.1 and worry less about when you'll go for NYSC 'cos its significance is not much to what your decision is now and what will be yours forever,moreso you're still very young.

You've gotten some good advise,so i won't expansiate on this much,but first and foremost, your first degree grade matters every where and not only in Nigeria cos it'll always pass through evaluation.Please don't be misled by people that are saying 2.1 or first class isn't significant,it is,however,it is not a guarantee for success as it's used to be.

I've been in your shoes before.If you still want to further in same field,then take your time and get that 2.1,you need not rush into the outside world as a mediocre,everyone cannot be lucky to get a good job,even with 3rd or first class,except you want to change your field of study entirely,then you can take your 2.2 which isn't bad anyway.

All the best to you.

Good ways to control anger: Walk away from the situation,ignore and say nothing,talk to yourself what's soothing to remain calm(Self talk).........

Worksunlimited: Hi.. Are you on whatsapp?

No i'm not.

scarletdp: are u one of all ds fat yokozunas we hear n see marrying young nigerian dudes....

Are you a comedian?
Lol

I am single for good reasons but ready to mingle.

Incase you want to give it a shot,kindly send me an email if you meet these requirements.

A good practicing christian(pentecostal)
A professional
At least 5'9 tall and average size body
29yrs and above,matured mind,no ego,no pride
A good family background
Preferably someone that resides in the US,UK and co but not too interested in Nigerian residence cos it doesn't work well for me,communication goes bad at the end of the day and communication is very vital to me.

NOTE:If this post is disturbing to you,kindly ignore or put up your own criteria.No disrespect please.

I'm so blessed with this post.
I've bn singing most of the hymns since morning and it's sweeter to sing it in my mother's tongue(Yoruba) .
Thanks to God and to my parents for raising me in church and in a christian home,though morning and night devotion wasn't fun then,kind of boring but i appreciate it more now.

Lots of favorites already posted.Can't think of anymore.

Let us with a gladsome mind,praise the lord for he is kind..............
Eje k’a f’inu didun
Yin Oluwa Olore
Anu Re O wa titi
Lododo dajudaju

Larrysky: Now i am so pissed. My friend is getting married, we are all excited nd all that. We've not had any other discussion outside this wedding. She only told us about the white wedding. I simply asked her when her traditional wedding is, nd y she didnt tell us abi she dont want us to come. This girl flared up. That she's disappointed in me. So i need an invitation to attend her trad? Common sense should have told me to prepare for d trad along with the church wedding. Fellow landers, where did i go wrong? If i act up, it looks like i am just jealous

It's ok to be pissed according to what you've typed,however do not dwell on it,'cos if you do,you'll look terrible amongst friends.Just brush it aside.Give unto caesar what is caesar's and unto God what it's His. Attend the wedding and be happy.If she realises she is wrong,she might still apologise but if not,let it go.

My opinion.

In life,there should always be a balance.You can keep your married friends and as well make friends with the singles like you.The moment you start noticing any form of jealousness/not comfortable around your so called married friends, keep a distance,maybe that wll help you,however,i do not seem to get what should warrant that.Listen and contribute when they talk,you'll not loose by paying attention and gist about yourself too except your life is extremely boring.It might be the way you are carrying yourself around as if marriage is the ultimate thing to achieve in life.

Most of my friends are married, and trust me,they do envy me most times.You don't want to know what they are going through in their marriage(s) even though women are fond of camouflaging.

In a nutshell,get busy and productive,pray,enjoy your life till Mr right comes your way and hangout with the married if it is really necessary.Remember being single is not a disease nor a crime.There is time for everything in life,and your time gets closer day by day.Don't fall a prey of depression,you're still young.It is not about how far,but how well.

The most important thing is for you to pray to God to give you what is best,either boy or girl,God surely knows what is best for you.
Your priority shouldn't be to please your mother in law 'cos of the sex of your first child since you can't control that,however,if your husband and mother in law are bent on you having a boy first,thank God for bio-science,that is, IVF(in-vitro fertilization) selection,if they don't mind the cost.

Your paintings/art works are beautiful,please keep it up.
How much is a piece?

Plagiarism is a big offence which has ruined some people especially in the western world,however,Nigerians do not see it as a big deal which it isn't their fault 'cos we were not taught or well tutored on that.

Let us start by creating the awareness.

For as many that want to repost or quote,please try and use the right formats(APA, MLA etc).


Nice post and i concur with most of the points stated.

In a nutshell,human beings are hard to please but some are still pleasable depending on personality/character/situation/circumstances

A woman/lady can be pleased if she likes her man provided is a good man.

Congratulations Phema and brides to be who're expectant not excluding I.

I've learnt so much on this topic and i'm sure is going to be useful for us someday for those of us especially in diaspora.

For the gifts you talked about not wanting but instead money,here is a tip i can share,hopefully it might be useful for you.
It was included in the invitation card(Registry) of my friend who'l be getting married in few weeks, so i decided to share the way it's bn worded: 'YOUR PRESENCE IS WHAT WE DESIRE THE MOST,HOWEVER,IF YOU WISH TO EXTEND YOUR KIND GESTURE BY HONORING US WITH A GIFT,WE HAVE REGISTERED WITH TWO DIFFERENT STORES FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE'......
I'm not sure if there are stores that you can register at in Benin or so,but you can rephrase the end part of the sentence with : AN ENVELOPED GIFT WIL BE MORE APPRECIATED.....or so.

All the best and God's blessings.

intrepid: Lets talk then.How do we see?No jokes.

Hello Intrepid
Send me an email if possible.

Godshand: I just checked ur profile, 1st, this is the first and only post u've made on nairaland & u're more than a month old here. 2ndly, ur location says US, if true, are u linking us with white ladies or american based black ladies? 3rdly, u gathered boldness to post this cos the op was bold enough to start it, if i may ask, why were u shy to start it when u knew u could do this? Why do u wanna link other ladies up when am sure u urself is not yet linked up? Why d specifications i.e. doctors, engineers etc? Answers pls cos dis might be why they are still singles?

Thanks Mr Godshand for your comment.
First of all,i want you to know that i am a very busy person,so little or no time do i have to read and comment on posts,it just happened that i was captivated by the topic and i seized the opportunity at the time.To get answers to your questions,i'll like to give summarised answers.I think it is unfair for you to assume wrongly,try and always get facts before concluding 'cos you do not know who i am,where i live/if i am engaged or not.Most of the ladies i know are in these professional fields,however,they might not be restricted to other professions which i cannot be typing all,but most professions encompass or falls into these categories of the fore above mentioned....Also,everyone has preferences like you do,so chosing a man/woman is by choice and that choice lies in us as individuals.Whatever ones choice(s) is or are does and doesn't determine one's singleness, and mind you choice(s) changes in the process.I'm not a matchmaker but i can only tell where these ladies can be found if you're interested(church,place of work,seminars,talk shows,lecture rooms,labs,libraries,cinemas but not roaming about the whole place...etc).It is also important to pray and let God when insearch of a life partner.
Lest i forget,this is a Nigerian forum,so i'm not referring to 'white ladies or American based black ladies' as you said but all Nigerian ladies home and abroad.I hope this answers your questions.Feel free to ask what is yet unclear to you.I hope to be more available as time goes on.
Cheers

Hello Everyone.
I appreciate the boldness of the person who posted this post. I, therefore want to add my own boldness since i can see more Males flooding this topic instead of ladies.

If you’re of these professions [(Medical(doctor, nurse, pharmacist, physical therapist etc, Financial(accountant, Economists etc) Engineer(all fields)],and between the ages of 29 to 40 years, a Christian who is devoted and have the fear of God, serious minded guy, a good family background, kindly contact me. There are so many good ladies, well brought up, educated, focused and decent Christian ladies I can recommend. Unfortunately you don’t see them out there ‘cos they are not party girls due to their reserved nature.

Note:This is not a joke,so jokers stay off.