₦airaland Forum

Nairaland headlines this morning is like Nollywood films on YouTube...

Esther: The Orphan Girl Who Became A Queen

The Lover Boy Who Fell In Love With The Wrong Lover

Why Delay Could Be Very Dangerous

Hope I Wouldn't Find Myself To Be Blamed If I Return This ATM Card To The Owner

okpurukata:
This is just the beginning. By the time this man finish with Nigeria eh,

This comment aged well.

Hmmm.. Interesting

fopishow:
OP is a liar, this his story is fake and he is just looking for attention.

Sorry too late. Get a life assh0le

GOVERNOR WIKE'S 25BILLION NAIRA NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH SCAM: ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO BAMBOOZLE RIVERS YOUTHS

~ The Impetus Group

We received with utter dismay and disgust the shocking revelation by the Rivers state Governor, Barr. Nyesom Wike, the plans by his administration to set aside a whooping N25billion to fund local vigilantes across the state in his characteristic blind and tactless approach to tackle insecurity in the state.

This latest endeavor of Emperor Wike is not only saddening but expresses the very height of the directionlessness of his administration and monumental waste of Rivers funds due to absence of strategic plans and vivid roadmap to develop the state.

We therefore want to remind him that his failure to attract investors to the state and his outright refusal to invest on human capital projects as against spending on frivolities is in part responsible for the unfortunate security challenges in the state.
While a less endowed state like Abia which clearly values the talents and potentials of its youths can generate funds to empower and even sponsor youths abroad to enhance their skills, Mr. Project seems fixated that Rivers youths are only good to serve as social media praise singers for him.

This latest disclosure is clearly another attempt to further despise the widely acknowledged and celebrated potentials of Rivers youths and insult their sensibilities by indirectly offering them Night Watchmen jobs instead of creating the enabling environment for them to blossom.
Worse still, the timing of this project just months before the 2019 general elections is inherently suspicious making one wonder if in fact the governor does on reality intend to raise a loyal and secret white collar Army across the state to wreck violence and scare electorates during the elections.

Thus, if His Excellency is really serious about tackling insecurity to douse our curiosity and that of the frightened public, he must stop battling security operatives and use some of the resources to empower and motivate them to perform better.
And for all intents and purposes, he must also invest on manufacturing industries and set aside accessible capital to support SMEs as way of gainfully engaging law abiding and peace loving Rivers youths. Then and only then would he be seen to be sincere about fighting insecurity.

Obinna Ebogidi
Director Media and Publicity, Impetus Group.
18th Jan. 2018

JamaicanLove:
Come make we collabo

cool. I'm down How's it gonna be?

Let's blow yours first. Mine next

JamaicanLove:
Me i earn 30k a month from my papa salary

Wow. We got sumptn in common

crazymommy:
i can't say whether the guy is lying or not but what i don't understand is that why do many people like you here assume any nairalander can never know a celebrity personally or know the celebrity family member personally or girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife...is it they think that nairalanders are low life people ??that was how some months ago I mentioned that Rita Dominic is a very good friend of mine,guess what??a guy replied me and said "if you are Rita domic very good friend you won't have time to be on Nairaland "I was shocked to hear that...how do some people reason??as in WTF!!!!!

Understand that the gap between the Elites and common folks is too wide in Nigeria, it's not like in developed countries were everyone takes the bus/train nd stuff. so they can't bring themselves to imagine a celeb participating in normal activities. Folks around here worship celebs and think they some kind of god which is very wrong.

Adadioranma79:
One minute, you are talking bout this issue from a third party angle and the next minute, you are defending it like it's all you. Anyways, to call a spade by its real name, it's not in the lady's place to keep fighting/defending her man as a show of how much she loves and want to protect her relationship. Be the man, and call your woman to order before she puts you in a more serious trouble than you or her Brigadier father can handle. Stop sounding like she did you a favor dating you. The moment she knows how you truly feel bout her attitude in public, trust me she ll adjust if she really love and respect what you both share. Truth is, we can't really change anyone, they change cos they love us enough to change for us. Nough said!

We were together, he replied to some inquires himself... Sorry for the ambiguity and thanks.

lobiologs:
dude don't tell me this is the girl that was shouting at some dude during the jumanji movie at icm last week, if she's the one then damn, you got your hands full fam.

i'm sure you tried talking to her and all but what about this approach, next time she feels like raising her voice, why don't you raise your voice first and act like a sisi in front of her, maybe, just maybe if she feels embarrassed she would start seeing the faults in her ways, and if that doesn't work as a last resort, then don't go to public places with her anymore...........

Icm? no man. Don't think so... Thanks for the input.

chidekings:
Stop being mean with your comment,understand thr op point of view.it's a known fact that most girls that grew up abroad have one attitude problem or the other.

Thank you ooh. Tot it was just me.

toksbisola:
@Op; to love someone is a beautiful thing. When one is in a relationship that they think would lead to marriage, there are certain factors you need to consider before taking the “I DO” step. The factors are; Love, Compatibility, Respect and Friendship.

During courtship is a time to decide whether you can tolerate your partners' attitude or not. If you know that you can’t endure a particular attitude during courtship, then address it there and then as it has a tendency to probably get worse when you marry.

Now let me give you some quotes below to ponder over; here we go;

When a relationship becomes one you are enduring; it’s time to walk away

When a relationship becomes a violet one; it’s time to walk away

When a relationship becomes a selfish one; it’s time to walk away

When a relationship makes you unhappy; it’s time to walk away

When you become afraid of your partner in a relationship; it’s time to walk away

When in a relationship and the apologies comes from only one side; it’s time to walk away

When you walk on egg-shells in a relationship; it’s time to walk away

Note my words above and be sure to be married to someone who you see as one you can spend the rest of your life with in happiness, love and unity. We are not perfect but we can still make adjustments in our attitude towards our fellow human.

As you GF always wants you to back her up when she picks a fight, have you ever considered that you can get into an altercation with another guy because you think a guy disrespected your GF and seriously hurt him? What next? If you are sent to prison you think your GF would come and visit you there; I truly pity you if you think so (No offense, and hope none taken).

You also mentioned that your relationship with her was arranged but from your write-up, you’re finding it hard to get along with some of her irritating traits which clearly infuriate you. Tackle that now before it is too late; otherwise, she may extend her obnoxious attitude to you, your friends, your family members or others you associate with. Surprise, right? But that's just the plain truth as she hasn't seen you raise a strong objection to her nauseating attitude.

Take note,

1) Never marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them or you to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.

On a final note, the decision is yours entirely whether to carry on with her or let her be as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches; hence, no one else can decide for you whether you’ll carry on with the courtship or call it quits. It'll be totally out of a selfish interest to allow her to chase other men away (one man’s meat is another man’s poison) with her knowledge that she has met her husband; meanwhile her man is in doubt if he has met his wife; as that’s the way it looks at the moment from your write-up. Owing to the fact that you haven't said much positive and acceptable things about her, you're better off taking your time to find the right woman at the initial stage to avoid stories that hurt. All the best.

I rest my case

PS; that she resided in the UK has nothing to do with the fact that she has an attitude problem. Irrespective of where a woman resides, if she’s going to have an attitude problem; her location would make no difference.

Wow. What a read. Really appreciate all the time you put in to carve out this piece. Thorough and very insightful. Thanks

Obidikejr:
I like your signature... Amongst all I am only not of military heritage.

oh really?? That's good to know mate. Keep it up!

Deo1986:
OP, if you are a cool headed guy then you need her hotheadedness as long as she is humble and respects you. But then always try to apply the reins on her wherever possible so she don't offend the wrong nigger especially down south where they don't care wether you are a woman, uk citizen, army general or Buhari himself. The days are evil. I do believe she will outgrow such atittude women like that are naturally generous and caring when in their lighter mood. Just save your neck, she will grow up.

Thank you

iLegendd:
I wished you had read this http://www.wetclef.com/topic251.html

It's never too late. Read it this night and thank me later. It can be read in 4 minutes.

Interesting and quite insightful. Thanks. Bookmarked

HeyCorleone:
When I see things like this I just weep.

I think it's inappropriate to bring important things like this to NL. Why? Because the audience here is not specific.

Okay now you posted a problem pertaining your fiancee and you're seeking solution meanwhile over 80% of the people replying your thread are not in a serious relationship. Some are even single. Some can't maintain a good relationship not to talk of getting to the stage you're in, yet they come to give bad advice, and you may unknowingly act by some of them.

Truer words have never been said, just learnt the hard way. Thanks for the input mate.

davinero1:
Hmmm. She just subconsciously feels you are not being macho enough.
so do this.

Have an arrangement with a guy you know but doesn't know her
and then out of the blue, start picking fights with them.
Remember to do it continuosly and you'd definitely see improvements.
She'll be too busy trying to stop you from picking fights and won't have enough time to pick fights herself.

Best of Luck Bro.

Lol. For real. This is a whole new twist.. Sure it won't backfire?

safarigirl:
lol....make she tall say OP was not there for her?

Girls like that, the day you fail to back them up, they will accuse you of everything from conspiring against them to treason. There is no winning

Thank you!! At last, someone that understands.

crackhaus:
You've mentioned it before, what are you trying to make us see by mentioning it again?

The persons I quoted suggested allowing her get manhandled and i was replying them directly. At the end of the day irrespective of whether she was right or wrong, the other party will pay dearly for it.

Peachess:
You should allow them to beat her small, her head go correct. Trust me lol

Blackhawk03:
Gbam! My point exactly! I don't buy into this fighting for two thing, did the guy ask her to fight on his behalf? That's a fvckin red flag! Sit her arse down, speak senses into her head, give her conditions, she listens to him or find her way out. You can imagine being scared of going with your gf because you don't know who you might be fighting off her again...

OMG, Yeah men that shi* happens all the time.. Going out with her is now an issue. Men arranged marriages are just f**ked up. But really what kinda guy would sit back and allow his woman get maltreated? It's a real dicey situation, and most people here don't realize that. Besides I forgot to mention her Old man is a B. General.

The whole "allowing them beat her small" is not feasible man.....

crackhaus:
How you just went from typing in first person in your OP to typing in third person now without even realizing it is quite funny.

No no friend. I made it quite clear it was From a friend in the beginning right before I mentioned lalasticlala..

sassysure:
U rake of very low self esteem. Become a man first.

Lol. Easy for you to say.. But like the African proverb goes.. when a tsetse fly perches on a man's scrotum, then he'll realise there's more than one way to resolve conflict... If you wanna help then provide more insight by what you mean, not some bogus comment.. Peace.

Richy4:
Yea the fact that you dated some of UK citizens and you weigh their attitude on a scale and found it wanting does not mean majority were like that.. there are lots of people in the united kingdom that got good manners..especially Nigerians there..

Infact the fact that you included were she was born showcase or gives me the impression that you were treating her with utmost respect which is good..."so good" that you don't have any say to reduce her excesses... and she was capitalizing on the I was born in UK to cover up her "good manners " .....assuming she was born in Nigeria will you have tolerated her bad behaviour?

Arranged marriage or not, U guys should save drama for soap operas...get your act right by telling her to stop emberassing you.. U are not the only ones in the world that hooked up through match making....

How long are u gonna fight all your friends that you knew before her... It was in the 1980s that people hype someone that was born Abroad... even when she got the worst attitude, they said leave her she is raised abroad..just to use her to boast in the village .. not anymore man.. the world is just a global village now... There is still an exit door...You can use it if you can't cope

Hmm, very well said, tho kinda harsh but true all the same, guess that's the Red pill mans gotta swallow..

However, her place of birth isn't that big a deal and no one's hyping her cos of that.. Maybe if I told you she is a Harvard graduate then it'll be too much info, but here we talkin about the environment in which she was raised and how it might have contributed to this attitude subconsciously cos environmental factors shape behaviors.. True if she was born in Nigeria prolly the "Nonsense" wouldn't have been tolerated but then again she ain't, and one needs to ask questions about what he dosent understand.

pocohantas:
LOL. I've been there. My ex was just like that, always picking fights on my behalf. Left alone to himself, he was an easy going guy.

He didn't stop till the day he tried it with a MOPOL. We were on our way to the beach and the man made a remark about my shorts. He retorted. Naso them bundle two of us to police station...

Don't ask me what happened

LoL. for real?? Why would he do that? was the MOPOL guy on mufti? Damn... Now I understand your earlier comments better.. . Based on this the gurl would not change any time soon tho cos.. Well, her Dad is a Brigadier General...

OceanmorganTrix:
she is protecting who is dear to her
you see what she does as embarrassing
she see it as protection

do not call what she do as an embarrassment before her, just call it HURT
don't make her feel bad about what she do for you, convince her you have other measure put in place
(your measure must not be a measure of fighting back also, but should be cuddling her away telling her the good things about herself)
just make her understand


just tell her the only way she can protect you and make you happy is to stop those attitude she always have as a covering for you

tell her how strong she is, but let her know she is more stronger when she walk away from the trouble

tell her what she do only protect your body, but when she walk away without involving in those trouble she protect your body, heart, emotion, personality and soul

Umm. Wow, Well. This is actually quite beautiful and insightful... In a way.. Thanks for the input really appreciate

Richy4:
Does her being born in UK got any thing to do with it? I just want to know why you feel that information is important.. as if being born in UK is a license to be mannerless

I might be wrong, you are holding her like a trophy and it's about time u Open your mouth wide and tell her to stop emberassing you.

Stop this UK thing and have a sincere relationship with her, a relationship where you can say your mind. There are millions of people all over the world that has manners.. Treat her like any other woman that u are in love with.with out holding her with (UK high esteem )..If u can't tolerate it, let her go..

Edited**** from llekokonit

Ilekokonit:
Actually most black women "raised" in the UK are mannerless as the UK society has little regard for the man. Its no suprise that the UK is the single parent capital of the world.

Their lack of manners or respect for men is the main reason Naija men abroad will continue going back home to look for women who haven't completely lost the African cultural value of respect for their men.

In the UK, women expect to treat men as foot mats and some men are actually happy to wear the skirt whilst the woman wears the trouser.

The poster needs to man up to his family and reject being pushed to his death by an arranged marriage to a nasty piece of work.

If she was in hot demand in the UK, her family will not be so keen in getting her a man from abroad.

Also, any woman who specialises in knocking 2 mens heads against one another will lead to the death of any man who marries her.

Don't just fall for any UK raised black woman because they look innocent. Quite a lot of them belonged to violent gangs and were the communal "babes" of gang members in their teens.

Just google the term honeytrap killing and you will realise that these UK raised black girls are not as innocent as they look. Some of them are as feral as wild animals.

For example, would you guess that the 18 year old UK raised Nigerian school girl below is a killer ?? But that is exactly what she is.

She is also known as 'Missy Maffia' and 'Bang Bang'.

She bought knives and used Facebook to plot a fatal mob attack on a boy.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/29/article-2108185-11F8AA6E000005DC-558_306x423.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2108185/The-killer-schoolgirl-Facing-jail-weeping-dock-teenager-bought-knives-used-Facebook-plot-fatal-mob-attack-boy.html

Tell him...

I just felt her upbringing might have something to do with the attitude that was why I mentioned it, besides most ladies I know that grew up in the UK always have one attitude problem or the other. #fact. Infact the last gurl I dated myself was also from the UK, she's actually very rude and self centered, she never lives the island (feels she's too fly and stuff for the Mainland)
Can you imagine that? You'll have to agree with me that her being a UK citizen was a determinant factor, no?

Back to the original topic.. The whole relationship is in line with some family arrangements, that makes it much more complicated.

pocohantas:
Yea, she could be picking those fights because she thinks it's an insult to her guy. People like that don't know how to let things go. They fail to realise how such physical confrontations can escalate quickly. OP, needs to identify the way she reels him into such fights and distance himself from it. When he makes her look stupid regularly, she'll slow down.


The surprising thing about people like this is, they are excellent lovers when the going is good.




To her, she is fighting for you both

Wow, never thought about it This way.. You mean she thinks she's fighting for two? ?.. Might be some truth in this cos there are no complains when she's out alone.

Blackhawk03:
Hahahaha

Babez! She picks fight with others unnecessarily, not because of him. She's just a stubborn goat. Who enjoys show of shame, anyways?

Op, don't stand up for her one day. She picked her fight, let her battle it out with the person. She needs to start taking responsibility for her childish acts, just walk out the moment she starts.

Yeah. Exactly.

Umm, bro.. Guys are generally insecure this days and with the whole Alpha male controversy, dude thinks he always have to prove a point... What if he walks out and things get out of hand.. He'll still face the consequences eventually.

pocohantas:
1: Narcissism.

2: She loves you much and can't stand anyone annoying you in public. That's why a woman can call her man stupid and feel it's nothing. Let a third party try it and watch her bring White House Down . She always expects you to back her up, because she needs to prove she isn't fighting for someone who gives no fck.

Hmm, interesting, I understand what you mean but the problem is not with the dude, he dosent have issues with anyone, he's totally cool - the lady is the one picking the fights herself and the guy has to take the punches at the end of the day tryin to defend her.

obitee69:
Shes a spoilt rude brat. I undrstand you totally cos im in ur shoes but hitched but ur not God save you if you end up making her a wife. Study her carefully if she isnt changing RUN FOR DEAR LIFE!

Umm. Okay, so how were you able to deal with the situation? Are you guys still together? The major problem is that the union is kinda "Family arranged" if you get what I mean.

OceanmorganTrix:
she is a backup wife in making

Sorry, how do you mean?

We've been together for a year plus now and it's a regular occurrence, she's always starting shi* with other guys, other times with other girls then I have to deal with thier men. Whenever we go clubbing, hanging out in a lounge, shopping at the mall, attending weeding ceremonies, infact the last confrontation was right in a cinema hall... it's quite embarrassing. (she seems to only behave at church)..
I've tried to keep her in check and curb her running mouth in these instances but it never works, and whenever she runs her mouth like this at other guys for minutes on end, it’s only ends one way: With her manning up …and expecting me to clobber the other guy for her, ultimately I get into physical confrontations and fights with these guys to diffend her and ultimately my ego.

Most people think It's my inability to control her but step in my shoes and you'll see the only thing I haven't done is hit her (physically), she's too damn stubborn (in this particular area). This is the only issue we have tho, every other thing is quite great. I've always thought she'll change with time but no. No significant improvement whatsoever. Don't know, could it be psychogenic? She was born and raised in the UK tho based in Nigeria now.

NB: *It's an arranged marriage.

So I really need your advice guys (I'd appreciate matured inputs pls from experienced folks).. Cos

Don't need a woman to go around picking fights for me. i gotta find a way to clip this the instant it starts, or figure out a way to stop this bad behavior once and for all...

Edited: Guys forgot to mention - her dad is a Brigadier General
.
.
From a friend.
Lalasticlala let's help a brother.