₦airaland Forum

Special shout out to all the educated men and women who bathe with salt this morning. We are drinking urine tomorrow and rubbing pepper in our eyes the day after tomorrow. Ebola is in trouble....for this 9ja, e go hear am.

I boarded a commercial bus(Danfo) from Oshodi to CMS, I sat in between 3 fat women with very big behind, d bus became so tight dat we where asking each oda to adjust, we tried to adjust to the extent I ended up being lapped by one of d woman and still paid d normal fair 150naira. Very painful.

#pinshure of d kpekus or..........

Oga.....dis is not d rite place to post dis.

Go to Romance section.

Waaaaat The walls of Jericho has broken

Boko Haram must be responsible for this....

How did you hang your bag back in secondary/secondary school days?

Just got this from a facebook page and decided to share it here on N.L cos I'm a victim of almost all... Guyz which one do u belong


HOW ARE WOMEN SUPPOSE TO GET IT RIGHT?


1. If he calls you and your phone
is off, he thinks you’re cheating….
then he sends a sms saying“don’t
tell me the battery story coz I
know that line”

2. If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are
TOO IN LOVE, moving too fast;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD

3. If u DRESS NICELY, he says u are
trying to LURE other men; If u
DON'T, he says u are RURAL.

4. If u ARGUE with him, he says u are
STUBBORN, too manly; If u keep QUIET, he says u have no
BRAINS, a walkover;

5. If u are SMARTER than him, you’re a SHOW-OFF; If he's SMARTER than u, he is GREAT.

6. If u don't LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS u; If u LOVE him, He takes you FOR GRANTED. (very true
huh?)

7. If u don't MAKE LOVE to him, he says u DON'T LOVE him; If u DO, he says u are CHEAP...

8. If u tell him your PROBLEMS , he
says u are TROUBLE; If u DON'T, he
says u don't TRUST him.
9. If u SCOLD at him, u are treating him like a CHILD; If he SCOLDS at u, it ’s because he CARES for u.

10. If u BREAK your promise, u
cannot be TRUSTED; If he BREAKS
his, it is circumstances beyond his CONTROL.(yea rite!)

11. If u SMOKE, u are a BAD girl; If
he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

12. If u do WELL in your career,
it's LUCK ; If he does WELL, it’s
definitely BRAINS. (luck?)

13. If u HURT him, u are CRUEL; If he
HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE !!
MOST MEN ARE JUST TOO IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE...

Are u 18 years and above? Do u have a valid ID card? Can u speak English and anyother language? You are looking for a 9am-4pm job with net salary of N1,000,000 and aweekly allowance of N200,000? No working during weekends and you only get to work half-day on Fridays?If you're interested in this job,Please contact me with your full details.SO THAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT TOGETHER COS ME SEF DEY FIND

missdebs: blood of God! Is dat a bat!

Rottweiler soup

What would be your reaction if u where served this kind of meal?

And what name would u give this?

Which of these is the best way to share bed with your partner?

BREAKING NEWS;

PDP Blaims APC for Super Eagles lost..... While Bokoharams are claiming responsibility for the loss...

Which one we go take now?

Tattooboy: I have always been supporting 'The Machines' and i aint stoppin. Supporting Nigerian team was mandatory.

In essence, no more watching of football till dey qualify for d next world cup?

Now that the super Eagles are out of the Brazil FIFA 2014 World cup, what country would you be supporting now and why?

Sorry it was a mistake, check d next one.

Anything can happen in Naija

Anything can happen in Naija

Anything can happen in Naija

Yemzy6: Nice one broda

thanks guyz

Akpos seeing her mum's boobs asked "mum, what's this?" Mum answered "BALLOON".
Akpos asked "why are yours so small and the maid has BIG ones??"
Mum asked "when did you see it?"
Akpos answered "yesterday, when dad was blowing them." Why not beg dad to blow yours up too.....

Asoebi for Mandela's burial is now available in Nigeria for just N9k. U can pay into this account 2009269916. Zenith bank. Thanks!!! Xpecting alert

angelz: my guy, me l dey laugh o, so teee water dey comot 4 my eyes. y dem dey view, dem no gree drop comot now?

nice 1.

I just tire for dis nairalanders, dem no dey encourage person at all. Thanks bro

140 views yet no comment. Na wa o....na so d joke boring? Abi una problem pass my joke?

Once a bright intelligent young man went for IAS interview. He was asked -

Q 1. When did India get independence?

He answered - The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947.

Q 2. Who were the persons, who played important role in this fight for independence?

Answer - There are many people, who were involved and contributed in this. If I give a name, it will be injustice to others.

Q 3. Do you think, corruption is the greatest enemy of the country?

Answer - A committee is investigating in this matter. I can give a correct reply to this only after seeing the report.

The interview board was impressed by his original ideas. They asked him to wait outside; but also advised him not to reveal the questions, as they may ask the same questions to other candidates also.

When the young man went out of the room, Akpos inquired about the questions asked. The young man said that he had promised the interview board not to disclose the questions.

But, Akpos found a way out. "Tell me the answer you gave"..

The young man, thought it to be okay, as he was not going back on his words of "not disclosing the QUESTIONS"

When Akpos went in for interview, this is what happened.

Q 1. What's your birth date?

Akpos :- The efforts started long back, but could succeed in 1947.

Interviewers got confused...they asked next question.

Q 2. What is your father's name?

Akpos:- There are many people, who were involved and contributed in this. If I give a name, it will be injustice to others.

The board members were shocked at the reply..they said.

Q 3. Are you mad?

Akpos :- answered - A committee is investigating in this matter. I can give a correct reply to this only after seeing the report.

Despite all the bad news,boko haram killings,assu strike,no light,bad roads etc...i have goodnews for us all...


























































Mango is out...so u can now start buying...

Raising my hands like *Ihenacho*

Warning: pls put on ur sun glasses before viewing dis.
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A man nd a woman walked into a guest house nd requested to spend d night. The owner of d guest house, Mr Ben,who is a born again refused to allow men and women to stay 2gether in his hotel because of fornicatn. The woman explained, he is my son, not my spouse nd so they checked in.
After 30mins, Mr Ben sent his room service(Akpos) to go nd check if those folks were truly mother nd son. Akpos came back nd said; Sir, she's truly d mother. The boss asked, hw did u confirm dat? The room service smiled, Sir i am very sure, I saw her breastfeeding him.

homesteady: E pain you say I no laugh!

yes o!

jamace: OP, so you tapped free current, eh

Abi na dem tap current from me