₦airaland Forum

chukxy44: we certainly have great writers here. A million wow, loving this. Keep it up bro. So wat happened next?

.
Tanx bro @chukxy. Will certainly kip u posted soon

While I was busy writing this story, my indomie an egg were busy getting burnt on fire. Yeekpa I don die. Knowing fully well dat that’s my hope of surviving for the day. Hmmm nna mehn am in serious soup dis nite. I know hw much preaching I did before the money for this indomie finally came out from my padi of life Stanley. Stanloo baba, I de hail
I know I can never do well as a pastor, but when I wan beg u for moni for anytin u’ll take my sermone for a Sunday preaching and at the end am sure u’ll be moved by the spirit to sow a seed in my life.
That’s how I got the N250 i used to buy this very indomie and egg dat am watching being engulfed by fire at this point in time.
The inspiration I had initially when I started written the story was beginning to desert me, like it sensed I had been bereaved by the lost of my precious meal.
Anyway, hope de. I still gat some garri with small groundnut left in my cupboard. That was my only consolation.
I ate the small indomie out of the debris. Went straight to my cupboard, brought out my 2sure[garri ijebu, still saving lives since 1809], opened the lower drawer for the groundnut to compliment it. Then it struck me dat I had some people waiting for me to complete the story am written.
I quickly gannered enough courage, picked up my Pentium 2 lappy, tried to switch it on. After some hectic time it finally came up. Tank God, I prayed silently. I can’t afford to kip people like yemi2luv and the likes waiting. I logged in to my nairaland account. Gbam I talk am. Who else could it be, 40views, 1 comment. My mind skipped a bit. I checked, it was no other than the renowned 2go love story writer; yemi2luv. Wetin dis guy fin come my post, I was tinking within. Who know wetin dis guy don go write.
I clicked on the topic, ‘MY BLACKBERRY PHONE EXPERIENCE’. Scrolled down slowly to check if there was any mistake I have made that would warrant yemi to visit and comment. I was able to get one or two typographical errors. Lol dats no big deal if na dat one im wan talk no wahala.
After my careful oversight, here we are. The next tin I saw was ‘AFTER THAT’ by yemi2plus. Kai, which kin boi be dis. U no even say make u encourage ur guy, after knowning fully well this my first article on this platform.
By now my mind is a bit relaxed. Now I have to soak my ijebu garri, allow it to rise for like 5minutes, so dat the thing fit hold my belle small, before i could continue this story.
I reach out for my groundnut in the lower part of my kitchen cupboard. It was a bit dark and I could barely see the other corner of the cupboard. I used ny hands to feel the four corners of the cupboard, with so much carefulness. This is my third time of repeating this very exercise, there was no groundnut anywhere inside. Mbanu, I kept it here yestaday and I closed the cupboard by myself. God abeg no play this kind rough play with me na. if this groundnut was a baba ijebu number or a loto na 3direct for me, why I go come loose am at dis point in time. Those were the words going on through my mind. I couldn’t help but course the rat or whatever it is dat ate my groundnut. This is 2much for one night. First it was my indomie and now my only consolation goal of the season is gone too. I felt like crying. Don’t try to imaging wat I went through. I felt like I have lost someone, but far from it. I have lost my only precious jewel. I felt like the womam with the widows mite. I didn’t give all, but they av taking all from me at this point in time. What can I say, I mustered up more courage, drank my ijebu garri after much rising. In fact I was unable to finish it cos it rose more dan I expected and I was just dinking it with no sugar but salt just to give it some variety. Since they say variety is the spice of life, my life has been spiced up as the result of the much salt I added.

Hmmmm. Nairaland here I am, shall I proceed. Ok lets continue before Nollywood go produce the part of the story into movie. U know say e no de hard them

Truth be told, this story was born out of hunger and joblessness. So the next time u see me on ur street give me food or find me work to do so that i can keep up with the jones.

I was told that when ur running for your dear life, u never gets tired. I never knew that’s was true until till very moment. Seeing pipol jumping and racing faster than Hussen Bolt was one of the best exciting sport I have seen in a life time. Some people nearly got themselves killed in the process. The nearby bushes could attest to the authenticity of my story. Lord have mercy I was praying inside of me. I have never in my life accosted the so called onitcha “fine boys”[thieves]. Maybe today is the D-day. I tried to look up from where I was hiding to atleast see if I could make out anything of the present scenario.

Who knows if the bridge every one is camouring for rehabilitation has finally given up. Today na today, no matter what it is i must reach owerri o, I kept reminding myself, and i must charge and test my phone. Me i no de for chere kam bia o. If only the fyn gal dat sat beside me before this whole brouhaha started could just decipher wat was going on in my mind at that point in time, i tink half of my problems would have been solved.

Instead i go loose this phone to anybody, be it bakassi o, opc, oduduwa o, even thief sef, i go jump inside this water just to make sure i part not with this phone. 'My machine perere'n. lai lai, it wunt happen.
From where I was hiding at the back of our bus, I could peep and see some black and red wearing group of men not bois this time around. The part I didn’t understand is dat, how come Onitsha has gone soo bad dat thieves could operate in the day time without fear. Even to the extent of chanting war songs. Haba – habatically. This country is becoming sometin else.
The gunshot kept reverberating, more closer this time. There were signs of green leaves and the sorts flying up and down. I sneaked my head out a little bit just to get a closer look.
Nzogbu nzogbu enyimba enyi nzogbu enyimba……….. I got curious, which kind of thieves gather dis kind moral to de do this kind of thing. I tried looking across the road, I noticed a few elderly men standing and discussing with much relaxed mind. From the look of things they don’t seemed to be moved by wat was going on at the top of the bridge and the war mongers don seem to be in the haste to cross over to the common boundary uniting Onitsha and delta state. Na waoo. This people don’t seem to me like thieves in any way.
I crawled from where I was lying down closer to about a kilometer to where some other passengers where getting cover too. With a hushed voice I asked one of the guys around there, “bros wetin be all dis? Shhhhh, with one hand across his lips he surmoned me to keep quiet and went ahead to inform my innocent mind that they were bakassi bois. Jezz I shouted uncontrollably. My fear now doubled not as a result of the fact dat I am a thief waiting to be caught, but invariably because of the too many stories flying about on the how these guys use their new acquired power to operate. Coupled with the movies I watched on bakassi on how their knives will show red if they ever come across anybody close to a thief. Whether born o, unborn, conceived, about to be theif of retired thief. I no come the fear for my loosing my phone again, rather na my head I de fear for. If this guys ever found out dat I used my school fees to purchase a NOKLA BLACKBERRY, oboi na die I de o.

@Dhortun, B-) i see u bro. Update loading. . . . . . .

Sambroose, sure i wunt keep u guys waiting. Update coming soon

Chukxy tanx bro. Just campaigning 4my 2015 local goverment election. Hope u will vote for me

Yemi ur blood de hot o. U wan chop am raw make i cook am finish na.

I remember those days when phones started coming out new. Everybody just the buy phone just to show say them belong. Me i dön stay de wait, de pray join make God bless me with small money enter hand make i follow impress too.
As God will have it, it was time to go back to school after a 3weeks holiday, which seems like its never gonna end. That faithful night preceeding the morning to my departure to school, my dad called me up in his room, shoot the door quietly behind me and ordered me to sit down. I sat down as instructed cus I wunt like to incur the rote of my dad. Although I knew fully well I didn’t do anytin wrong dat could require beating or something of sort. I respected myself, did as I was told.
My dad started this same story of how things hard been hard for some time now, how hard it has been going to the market with N1000 and not buying anything reasonable with it. Within me I was wondering where on earth this story was leading the both of us. At least on my on end I know this is not the kind of story that changes the price of garri in the market so what else. At the end of the rigorous exercise he [my dad] gave me my skul fees. Yeekpa [sorry that’s not an English word, just a local way of exclamation].

For my mind i say i don hammer. Even while he was still dishing out his usual instructions of 'make sure u pay your skul fees as soon as you get to school', i was busy thinking of the type of phone my #20,000 school fees will get me.
As soon i finished packing my baggages the next day and all the necesary goodbyes said, i rush straight to Oshodi market(a very popular market in Lagos) and was looking everywhere for something that will match what i have in mind.
For me its not just buying a phone, i needed a phone wey be say if i carry am land 'gboza' everybody go know say ibo boi don land.

Talking about dat name Ibo boi, that’s what my friends are fond of calling me cus each time i meet someone new, instead of telling them my real names i will quickly introduce myself as 'original Ibo boi'. To a point many people actually forgot my real names.

That’s by the way. Back to my initial 'tori'. So after walking round the whole Oshodi market, finally i saw something that looks more like what am looking for. 2day na 2day, they must hear, i was saying within me.
When i came close to one show glass, they young man selling the phones looked at me from head to toe to know if i can afford the kind of phones he was selling. After all the examination which was in quick succession, he then asked me, ‘nwanne which one you want’. What i was able to make out was that he was able to decipher that i was an Igbo boy (which i prefer writing as 'Ibo boi').

I pointed one of the phones, after careful examination. Without bringing it out, he told me its #8,500naira. I guess he is still in doubt if i could afford it, not knowing dat me i was well loaded, if for nothing, at least my school fees plus my pocket money can attest to that.
Now am begining to loose my patient at the constant disdain dis guy is showing on me. I told him bros, bring the phone out na. With a voice slightly high pitched betraying my effort not to get angry with him.

He finally brought the phone out. With heart full of joy i took it from him, examined it and smiled back at mysef with satisfaction. This is exactly what i want, i muted under my breath. In front of the phone was written 'blackberry' (in italics), at the back i noticed some thing that looks like Nokia but its not. There was a bit discrepancy in the spelling, which after proper checking I noticed it was written NOKLA, not NOKIA.

At that point in time i couldn’t think very well, because i was still in high heavens at the prospect of owning a new 'blackberry nokia' phone.
I ask the guy, 'bros abeg how much be the last price. The guy said #7,500 last.

Sorry to say this, there is one thing i noticed that is very common with an average Ibo business man. When they want to give you the price of anything they must add N500 at the back of the main money. (e.g 7,500, 2,500, 8,500).
When i was much younger i use to think maybe the extra 500 is there only gain, until recently i now realize it’s just a common parlance with them. It’s a way of life. Business is moving fine as long as there is a #500 at the end of every transaction.
Happily i counted the #7,500 quickly collected my phone plus the pack and charger, stuffed everything in my bag with the guy instructing that i should remember to charge it up to 5-6hrs to ensure that the phone is well charged before using.
Off i went with full speed. I didn’t even bother to collect the complimentary card he was offering me.
I endured the whole long journey from Lagos to Owerri after looking out everywhere inside the ekene dili chukwu park i boarded to see if i could see a place to charge my phone and start using, so as to cut the suspense of waiting till i get back to school hostel. With the current Nepa status in the country, Nepa is the last parastatals i will vote for if it happens to be a political party and running for a political position in Nigeria. Inside of me I was just begging the Nepa people to at least repent for God’s sake and live this light till when I get back, or at least bring it when some minutes before my arrival. All that na if walls could hear, they should help me tell nepa waiting I de talk.
The journey was smooth somehow until we accosted the usual Benin – Ore hold up, where everyone had to come down either to stretch their legs or look for something to eat and while away time. To people like me I must tell you I wasn't impressed by this very traffic jam, at all. Why can’t some things just go as planned. After like an unrepentant one hour thirty minutes, we hit the road again. On getting towards onicha head bridge, there were some shaddy movement infront of our vehicle. Buses dat left befor us were pulling over and stuffs. From a distance we could hear the sound of gunshot everywhere. What again, i asked myself. Na dis my phone una do meeting gather wan collect for my hand. If na juju e no go work 2day. Why be say dis can't just stop wit this constant intrigue they keep bringing up every now and then.
Too many things were going on, on my innocent mind, still looking up in front on me trying to find out what actually is happening out there. Gboza gboza..... Was the next tin i heard. B4 u could spell ibo boi all the passengers where no where to be found.