₦airaland Forum

They don start again, later na they go begin dey talk story on the juice abeg make una hook-up already jare.

You should Brush your teeth After breakfast buh that's cos you are expected to brush d previous night befor bed, If you don't brush before sleeping at night then u better do yourself a favour and brush be4 breakfast cos u dunno d amt of germs and bacteria u are gulping down wit your food

Okpuzu01: For women dat r supporting my wife here. Listen to wot I v to say n tell me if cn do same tin my wife did. I am a retired soldier with a monthly pension of 46k. I waz working wit for Intercontinental bank as a security officer. Den I waz earning 35k per month wit overtime allowance of 11k. Den I waz dating my wife. I knew dat der is no job security in d banking sector, I opened up a shop for renting of nigerian movies n selling of foreign movies. After we got married, I left her to be managing d shop while I concentrated on my job. I waz providing everytin in d house including house rent n my daughter sch fees. Months later, my business waz going down. A reliable source informed me dat wen I am nt arnd, my wife's younger brother usually come to collect money from her. Sometyms her dad wuld come by himself. D business finally went down. I talked to my wife to be very careful d way she carries her family burdens. I den open a bar, I bought two deep freezers at d rate of 53k each, bought plastic chairs n table, big gen n everytin needed in a bar business. I then bought all assorted drinks n loaded d freezer. She started d business, at first, tins were moving fine. Wen I came bk from work, I wuld branch to c hw d business waz fairing. Wen Access bank bought Intercontinental bank, majority of us were relieve of our duty. I waz nw depending on my pension, gain from my business n d little money I saved. I discussed wit my wife to take care of d business while I go bk to Lagos cos I waz invited for an interview den in aviation company. Before I got d job, I waz sending 20k monthly to my wife for der upkeep. I had expected her to v some savings from our business since I dnt ask her for money from d business. Wen our house waz due, I told her to pay for six months from d money she must v saved from d business, I got d greatest shock of my life wen she told me der waz no money. I den instructed her to park out to her parents place n wait for my arrival cos I made up my mind den to relocate dem to Lagos. My business waz going down n I equally instructed her too to close d business. She did as I said n I continued to send 20k to her monthly. U know wot happened, she waz using d money to feed her family. A friend called me dat he does nt lyk d way my daughter waz looking. Looking hagard, her hair unkept. He accused me dat I dnt send money for der upkeep. I travelled bk to Awka unannounced. On getting to my in law's house, I met my daughter at home. She waz supposed to be in sch. Wen I asked, my in law told me dat she waz sent home a week ago for nt paying her sch fees. I asked abt my wife, I waz told dat she travelled to Asaba. I took my daughter n left for my aunty's house. I called my wife to come bk home. It waz den ppl told me dat sometyms she do leave my for a month. Once I send d money, she wuld give her parents some n travel wit d rest to Asaba. Wen she came back, I enquired from her y she could nt pay 5k sch fees from d money I v been sending, she could nt give me any reason. I got anoda house n we went to her parents house to park our properties. I discovered dat my 21inch television waz missing. Myu wife said she used d tele to borrow money. I asked her, borrow money for wot? She said for her parents. I asked wot happened to d shop, she said she gave her parents money for house rent. I threatened to abandon her n go bk to Lagos before she could tell me d truth. 20 of my plastic chairs were missing, wen I asked, I waz told dat her brother sold dem. Oi had to pay 25k borrowed before I got my Tv bk. For u women dat r supporting my wife here, tell me were I v done bad?

hmm Now you are saying things that will make people see where you are coming from but still taking a Second wife is out of the question cos you are not that well to do financially to Manage two Wives and their Kids.

You can choose to Divorce your first wife and marry another Wife, it is Entirely your Choice but while at it if you are a christian You should remember the Bible's Stand on Divorce on grounds except Adultery(IT is Wrong and to those who might think this is Religious whatever Yes it is, We Can't pick and Choose to be christians When it is Convenient for Us) Besides better a Devil you know than an Angel U don't.

Again there is No Problem Without a Solution, D solution to a headache is not to Cut off the Head, IF you Choose to continue with your Wife(as u should, its for Better for Worse remember) I'll Advice you to Strictly be in Charge of the Family Finances, Do not just give her any Lump Sum of money to keep so when the need arises she will Use, Give her Money on a Need to use Basis e.g If She needs to cook soup u give her 3k for it that day; Henceforth Do not give her Money to Pay your Daughters school fees or the Rent, Try to do these things Yourself; Take over the Business again and Manage it yourself or Hand it over to someone You can trust, make Sure u tell the person not to give Madam any any Money she requests; Limit d amount of physical cash you keep at Home and if u must keep a large Sum at Home make sure she doesn't know where it is, hide it well from her(just in case she decides to strt tapping sm money) In sum cut off any Source of Fund coming to her and she wouldn't see d money to spend foolishly again... If she can let her Go and find another paid work(not d business) Even a school cert holder can still get a JOB

This is d lil I can come up wit, I'll Advise you to seriously Think of ways to tackle your wife and I assure you U'll find a lasting solution within 2 days, Do not Rush out to marry another Angel who'll turn into a Lucifer as soon as she comes in You can still mae this work.

2good: All I can say is that I as a married man is responsible for my wife and child first then my parent. Any other person that expect me to take care of them by right are jokers. if I want to help my wife's people including hr parent, it is strictly based on my discretion and not a responsibility and if she feel she is responsible for them, let her go get a proper job and help them while also contributing to the family. I will not earn millions and find myself living from hand to mouth just because I have families that expect me to take care of them!
Here is another quote from the OP:
"I thank all of for your contributions. For your information, before I got married, I have sisters that were married. Its not we are rich but we tried to provide for our parents so as to allow our sisters enjoy their marriages without putting burdens on them. My wife has grown up brothers who can work and support her parents. I never said I am poor. Igbo ppl said Ejiro akpata etufuo aba ogaranya. U dnt get rich by making money n throwing dem away. I personally do give my wife's parents money n gift from time to time. I know wot I have prepared to give dem dis xmas. I am nt against giving dem money bt I must discuss it with my wife. Does she know If I have enough before giving to her parents? Her father is addicted pool. All his money goes into pool. He can't take care of his responsibility a the head of the family. Wen he bought his bus, I know hw much I put into it, he sold desame bus witout informing me. I did it so that they can take the burden off my wife. I v supported her mum severally finacially in her provision shop, they will keep taking items from the shop until it became empty n they will turn again to my wife n continue to mount pressure on her for money."

lol that is how she as a married woman puts her kids first and her parents second, since the OP is already taking care of the kid n family so she turned to help her parents.

Now that the Op has explained better I kinda feel for him, he has tried to help them, buh they just mismanage it generally... since it is not rational to expect the woman to tell her parents 'NO' when they beg her for money for House Rent, the only thing he can do is to tell the wife NO when she exhausts the Money from her business and asks him for money (cos I believe he opened the business for her to become independent and not ask him for money, so somehow it is her money and he really cannot force her to stop giving her money to her parents) He should Leave her If she Runs down the Business then she'll pack up, No more help for her and her family, D hubby shld not in any way try to help her again, he should leave her and her family to suffer the consequences of their actions for at least a year then everybody will behave.

For Now the Man is not really in need of any financial help from his wife, he said he is not poor he can take care of his family without D wife's help, I get he needs d money for to add to savings and investments for a brighter future, But what exactly can he do if the wife continues to spend her money on her people as she will (I'm sure if she was working somewhere else nt the biz he opened for her the complaints on how she spends her money won't be this much) and how exactly is taking a second wife a solution?? Or perhaps he meant Divorcing her and marrying another wife

Imanuelle: No one else can be more dumb
You are obviously not married
A baby being carried cannot back another Baby







@op

How to manage a wild spender

Tell her business is no more as usual and things are bad
With that only money for family upkeep is released
If she wants to do mama Xmas she should go work
It's either an agreement by both or no excuse to give out

it is always Good to Read and Understand a post before commenting... Cos u d 'Un-dumb' Married one gave an advice as useless as a used Tissue paper. NOw read the op's case again and find that all this ur 'how to manage a wild spender' does not apply to the OP's Wife

2good: You just have many assumptions in your mind, concluded on these assumptions without going back to reading the OP where he said "Her whole families are depending on her to survive. I v seen that we can't make any meaningful progress in life if things continue the way they are".
I understand that you are supporting the wife because you are a woman but being a married man myself, I definitey know what the man is going through hence the reason for my strict advice. There is a very big difference between reality and fiction and people should plan based on their earning. I also strongly believe that for every naira earned, a fraction must be saved. That is my philosophy and in as much as I try to help people myself, I know where to draw the boundary line between planning for myself and my family and dolling money out to people.

Yes I assume from d lil he wrote and my assumptions are not far from the truth(going by what he wrote) unless he comes here to Debunk them and say otherwise.
1- They depend on her for SURVIVAL, Survival still what I'm saying d BASIC NECESSITIES of life not Frivolities, if he doesn't like it then he shld open up a business for the Wife's family to survive on... If it was the Man's family who couldn't pay Their house rent I don't think u guys will see anything wrong wit him paying his parents rent or building a house for them Even, no u guys will in fact congratulate him as it should be
2- they can't make any meaningful progress in life if things continue the way they are: Who told him things will continue the way they are? Is he planning that the family will remain poor like that forever? That the brothers will never get a Job? Or that his position at the office or whatever job will remain d same? Y doesn't he see it as progress that d wife's family who couldn't pay their rents before can do so now? I'm sure the wife sees it as progress or should they begin to acquire mansions while her parents pack back to the village?
People save and make investments surely for the family to move forward buh no reasonable person will begin to do that when the people who trained u up and perhaps cannot help themselves now are struggling to survive
I'll only advise the Woman to cut down the help To her parents only and forget d brothers who are old Enough to hustle for themselves and manage

And as for Your understanding that I'm suppporting her cos I'm a Woman, I dunno how you came about that conclusion but no reasonable human being who is not quarelling wit his/her family will watch them struggle to Survive, INCLUDING U... As for the Rubbish that d Brothers has refused to work pleeeaasee what kind of a human being sees a Job in this our NAIJA and refuses to work... Besides even if her Brothers decides to be Vagabonds does it mean she should also join them in their stupid ways and allow her parents to suffer(now that they can't help themselves).I only do not Support the Woman if her people are Living in a Grand Manner When they know they have Nothing and she is funding such a lifestyle

2good: This is where you guys have a problem. If I open business for my wife, it will be because I want the business to generate money so that she can be independent and be able to contribute financially to building the home. If she cannot contribute to building the home financially after spending so much on the business, then she is more of a liability than an asset to me. If she ruin the business and come to me for more money don't you think I will be a fool to keep on pumping money into the business without achieving anything for my own family when I know the money will just be redistributed to her family? Marriage is not all about love like you all decieve yourselves but also realistic financial management of your future and your children because if this man is retrenched or sacked tomorrow, it is thesame women that will complain that he is no more contributing to the home when money that should have been saved for planning the immediate home have been stupidly distributed to extended family who will not be there to help in time of financial strain.
I still believe that a man does not need to die before his time because he is married and if the woman want to give money to her family, let he get a proper job that generates good money then there will be less pressure on the husband.

Buh D wife isn't asking him for another money after depleting d one from her Bizness(at least he dint say anything like that here) His problem Is that the Woman spends Money from Her Business on her family without his consent; that is his problem

I get all you are saying about d wife contributing and helping to build d home its all Good, But D man is not in need of any such contributions now as you call it, d rainy days are not yet here, so she should not provide basic necessities for her parents cos what we are talking about here is shelter its not like she is wasting it on frivolous things on her self or her people, They can't even pay their House rent and I assume d other monies she gives them is for basic necessities like feeding n clothing etc is that what she will leave and start saving money as d husband calls it for d future since more kids are coming... Will d parents remain in their present situation forever? Or she should be contributing money for Investments and savings while her parents live on the streets?... If the Man was a Good man he shld have opened up a business for his In-laws to atleast survive on, obviously money is not that much of a problem for him since he wants to take a second wife... O ga bu ogbenye buru Amosu? He will not help his in laws he doesn't want d wife to spend too much on her parents (from d money she would have otherwise used on herself oo) what's d spending? Paying their house rent, is nt even that she is sending them abroad for D holz..mtcheeew

Oya D profs make Una cm Begin Educate us oo me sef I wan sabi

Buh dis nairaland watever-is-called knows how to make a mess of things oo ApproachM.I.N.G... LMAO

2good: Most of the people typing here don't understand what the OP is going through. If you earn alot of money and discover that you still cannot achieve anything in your life because of your wife spending habit, you will understand what the OP is talking about. Many women don't work and are not ready to work yet they want to tell their husband how to spend his money and feel it is his responsibility to take care of her parent and siblings like he doesn't have something useful to do with money in planning his own life.
It is just a pity that Africans have entitlement mentality and due to the high level of poverty, feel they can dump their problem on you just because they have some family affiliation with you or your wife. This is the most annoying thing about being an African and I will advice the OP to remove his mind from that business, give her a fixed amount of money every month to run the home and don't care about what she does with the money as long as she doesn't come for more before the end of the month. Clearly budget your salary as it comes and if possible open a fixed account where you keep your monthly contribution for projects and don't care what people say including your wife.
Also note that being married to a woman does not mean you will die before your time simply because you or her want to proof to people that you have some money that you really don't have. Your child's future is the most important thing at this stage and not your inlaws. Another wife will not solve the problem.

Sweery I fink u should read d op's Second Post, D Business is his Wife's, He Opened it for Her though but still it is hers, I don't see how d woman spending money from a biz that is hers affects the Man's personal business and finances, Unless he is saying D Business is For him nd he gave it to the wife to manage or the Family is Being Run from d Money d Wife gets in her Bizness.

Hian!! So the Woman will not give her parents Money again ke? She shld fold her hands and allow her parents struggle to pay House Rent? Nd forget that 'my problem is she does it without my consent" cos its Obvious from d way u write that u re pissed off about d Money giving part, not d consent part maybe she had asked u one time and u refused and she learnt how to do it her own way.... Besides I tot u said the Shop is hers, that is u opened it for her? So what has the Money got to do wit the training of ur kids and other things u re writing here abi na from ur Wife's shops Money u take dey Run d Home?? If you opened d Shop for her to use the proceeds on herself I don't see d problem wit her spending d Money on her family so far she doesn't ask you for any money again, after she has exhausted her Own.

As for taking a second Wife I support u 100%, U shld take a second wife so she can also eermm cater for her family needs from your Money and please do not forget to Invite moi for the ceremony

Abeg make I sit down enjoy dis sunday night drama unfold joor **sits, grabs a glass of juice**

Rudebwoy: But any confirmation that it really heals ailments?

Oh yes I know A blind who can now see

Ewuro707: Talk is cheap.

My Dear it is Very very Cheap

Lol at River jordan, D river is not newly discovered, it is said to appear every 30years and by next year it will be gone again

Nice one... Perching around like a fly

coogar: the single most important factor is the DNA of the child does not match the deceased. if that angle can be proven to be true, the woman may get nothing. fraud is fraud, my dear. if she was pregnant before the marriage, her case is even more damaged.



she would be lucky to get anything if truly the daughter belongs to her boyfriend. it could be argued in court she used that pregnancy to deceive the deceased into marrying her. the legality of the marriage can be pulled apart as it's foundation from the get go was fraudulent.

Well if they really wanna take the chance then they shld leave it to the lawyers, wchever side is more Convincing or more Devious Wins d case... It is however a very onerous task to prove that a child a man's wife had in wedlock is not his and that d Man in question had no knowledge of it, their chances of proving this one is very Slim... But this is Naija Anything can happen.

They can choose to waste Years trying to deprive a woman of what she is entitled to or they can all save themselves d stress and give her d one landed property she is asking for(for herself and her child oo) let her go her way, she isn't asking for much at least not as much as she is entitled to.

slimmy05: Arrogancy

Is that supposed to be an English Word?

One of the Ills of cheap Education

coogar: so what do you think the family's lawyer would present in court? that the deceased knew? of course not! the court is never about the truth, it's about what can be proven.

they have a stronger case if they claim the deceased never knew of the paternity fraud & this discovery was recent. then again, would this woman even want such secrets to be revealed considering the society in nigeria?

there are so many factors in play......

Of course she wouldn't and dt is exactly d reason y she would also get dirty, u know like get forged results of DNA tests, besides every Impotent Man still has a 1% chance of impregnating a lady, or she could claim d Doctor was mistaken d man was never really impotent, I mean why would a Man who knew he was impotent B4 marrying his final Wife not complain after d Wife gives him a child.

Still whatever be the Rights of the child it still Doesn't affect the Woman's legal share of her husband's wealth, what would a girl-child even get anyways if not just to be trained throughout her school days and the Right to live in her Father's House till she marries, is that what they will fight over if the mum gets her share she'll take care of her daughter

coogar: the man is dead - there's no proof he was aware of the fraud. this is nigeria - not the west. a woman guilty of paternity fraud gets nothing. you should read up on the sharing of mko-abiola's will. the kids with negative match DNA got nothing.

Are u serious pls Reread d Post by chyzino - I'm quite sure he said d father knows buh decided to do nuffin abt it so as not to pull d family apart and d lawyer told them the fathers secret only because the father is dead.

And Hey MKO-Abiola's will is not d only one that has been shared, I don't see why you believe other will-sharing has to follow that pattern, Besides there is no will here.

A man's Adopted child Is his child for all intent's and purposes be it adoption by implication or Express adoption, Be it in the West or NIgeria

coogar: paternity fraud?
if you're sure her only child is not your father's child then she deserves nothing. let her go to court, she would lose.

Lol even if the child is not his biological child she is his legal wife one n only, so she still gets her share wch I"ll tell you is A lot... As for the child she will still get her share, Even if she is not d Man's Biological child, D man acknowledged her when she was lil and has been training her up till the time of his death.. Paternity is not just Biological, it can also be by adoption... If a Man being well aware that a child is not his biological child accepted him during his lifetime and treated d child as his wholly, raising no Alarm as to d paternity then the child is considered his for all intent and purposes unless d Biological father is fighting for the child... There ain't no fraud here the Man was Aware

Na lie ARSENAL MUST WIN THIS MATCH, make una watch and see











#GunnerForever

chynzino: During the time of our fathers, polygamy seem to be rave of the moment. My dad got his first child @ d age of 20 out of wedlock. the second wife's dowry was paid but he did not go further with the marriage rights and she gave birth to 2 boys in which I'm the 2nd son. The 3rd wife was married in church but due to her behaviour towards my daD, he filed for a divorce. She had 3 children. A boy, a girl and a boy. Now the last And youngest wife is 32 years of age. She was also married in church unknoWn to the public; a hidden church very far from town. She has a girl (9yrs old).
I appreciate your here. Let me quickly say this. I found myself in this family. I didn't choose it. Now the circumstances that has befallen us is an unforseen one. Every other wives have equal right as she has. Why is she acting up? Not because she has no male child but the fact is that she can't have the largest portion of the little property left behind. I'm a man with big dreams. No one becomes successful withot a backup fund. I'm not saying that I'm depending on it but everyone has equal right. She needs to go and remarry because she's stil very young and juicy. Because if she doesn't, nobody will take care of her when she grows old.

Now that u hv explained lemme break it down to u

The so called first wife is not a wife at all and her son is a bastard(sorry for d use of d word but I have to communicate effectively) that does not mean he is not entitled to his father's property no he still hs an interest cos his father recognized him buh d mother shldnt even put mouth.

The second wife since her bride price was paid then the cust marrg is ok (in most customs sha) and the marrg is recognized by law

The third divorced wife I dunno what she is looking for in d property of a man who divorced her(that is if d divorce process ws complete), but her children are of course still entitled to their dad's property

For the last wife it doesn't matter that it is a hidden or far away church so far the church is recognized and they signed the register

From your Tone it is obvious you believe the woman is asking for too much lemme assure you that she is not, if she was the only wife married legally to your father she would have everything he owns buh as she is d only legally married one between d other two wives I don't think she is very far off claiming half of d properties, buh it wldnt be fair cos there are still other 6kids to consider buh, u can't still share it just amongst d Boys cos she doesn't have a son and she is d legally married one and a beneficiary in the company as you said, and 15mil is a paltry sum I tell you

Advice: You people shld give her the one landed property she is asking for and share d remaining money in your fathers account n the other landed properties amongst yourselves, or Best get probate to administer your fathers properties; I don't think she will even listen to the Elders or village chief's as they have a penchant to support the boys, if you guys decide to piss the woman off I want you to be well aware that she has Enormous Rights According to the Law and she'll fight u guys to the Ends cos yes even to me it sounds like you guys are marginalizing her cos she has no male child... Don't let her play d card of d wife who is marginalized becos she has no male child and get the Women activists on her side cos even the society will condemn u guys

kulyie: indeed.very realistic in nigeria where things are normal

Actually unless u don't know of anybody who died intestate d normal thing is dt d custom of d village as regards sharing of property is followed, and when it is not known or d immediate family are in doubt they meet their village chief and elders who will be aware of such, or take it to a customary court for devolution procedure(wch is quite a normal customary court procedure even in our abnormal Nigeria, it doesn't take time) There is no quarrel yet, they aren't fighting over anything yet, they are just in need of a way to share it and d only thing the court will do is to tell them d sharing Method according to their custom.

I understand that people usually believe courts are not realistic but not every matter in court is a quarell or fight, most people might not know of this and think it as another 'court matter' because most people already know how devolution is done in their culture but d Op's case is unique 4 wives, one doesn't hv a son and d one without a son is d legally married one who is also a director of one of d companies.

The Best thing to do now is to settle it in probate amicably so everyone knows what they are customarily entitled to(and d legally married wife will also know what she is entitled to), or share it however u feel like, settle d woman, piss her off and still end up in court now as a big family fight over your fathers property and drag over it for years until you all die and pass it over to your kids to continue from where you stopped; so that our children can cite your family name as a precedent in cases of devolution.

[quote author=Dada-Stephen]Thank you Lecturer, i am not looking for admission, i only want Nigerians to see how extremely and unecessarily expensive public education is.
I want to fight for the possibility of a free education society. We can achieve it!
The school fees are outrageous! What can the ordinary citizen get as a benefit from the government? They are depriving more people of the opportunity to be liberated.[/quote]when I said looking for admission I wasn't referring to u, I was refering to any so-called person your post is going to help cos I thought it was going in that direction, now I see the direction u are going, I'll let u know that Education In Nigeria is Cheap, wch country exactly are you comparing it to to call it Expensive? is it Ghana, or Malaysia or Education-giant countries like US, Canada, d Uk, Australia, Germany even France where the Government subsidizes Education, D public universities are still 10 times higher than Nigerian public Universities, Education Is Never Cheap, for now it is still VERY CHEAP in Nigeria becus most Nigerian universities are still substandard, D government cannot do Everything for us, Be4 our Universities get to the level we are clamouring for then u'll see d meaning of Education being Expensive, Half of d federal universities don't Even take up to 50k as their tuition fees, n most states is between 100-200k while d schools u are aiming to be like people spend up to 500-1mil in a years tuition fee. Nigerians want it all, CHEAP SOUND EDUCATION is an OXYMORON

How Exactly will it be Helpful? wen u get admission to a school u'll know your tuition

there is no particular fees for any federal or state university, it depends on your course and year of study, As a rule the higher you go d lower your fees become, as for course higher courses like medicine, pharmacy, law etc. Generally has a higher tuition fees than their counterparts... So I fink pple contributing shld also drop their course and year of study wit d fees

Hmm.. When you say legally married does it mean she is d only one who is married to him and d others are not actually married at all to him(just cohabitation), or she is d only one dt married at d registry nd d others ws jst customary marrg.

If the other 3 are TRUE WIVES not just concubines parading themselves as wives, then the matter is quite simple u guys should take it to your village chief to know your village custom on sharing the property of a man who died intestate or go to a customary court and get his properties shared according to your village custom.

Who gets What in a Man's property depends on the Custom of the particular Man in question when there is no will and no Court marriage. It is not a question of settling a particular wife with a paltry sum 15mil, If your custom demands d properties be shared according to d Wives or The Children or The Sons or that they should be owned together as family property wit each benefiting from d proceeds So be it... U can't just decide u wanna share it according to "SONS" go to your village customary Court!

Do some people actually take Andyblaze seriously??

He will change of course after he has murdered her, he will become a darling to his new wife. Because it takes killing their partner or maiming them for life for such people to Recognize a need for change.

Great write-up man keep it up

In d name of any Deity u serve I beg u not to call up problems upon your head because soon na for your head they go finally take settle their family matter; DO NOT EMPLOY D HUBBY, ALSO PLEASE LIMIT oR DELETE All contacts wit that woman, tell her she is married dt she shld leave u alone and settle her internal affairs internally,she n her hubby will survive without your help.

Y U should not Do a Good deed?
1. It'll surely backfire, D man like all men especially d jobless ones have Egos taller than MTN masts, he will perceive it as smthing else(maybe u doing his wife a favour after she has done u a favour in turn also) his wife's Ex wants to employ him?? Actually I fink u shld put urself in d Man's shoe for a better understanding of this. people don't just believe others want to do a good deed just like that, with no ulterior motives
2. this might simply be d woman's womanly ways of trying to get closer to u and rekindling whatever she still feels, u know visiting her husband more often at wrk, and coming at those office parties pple are meant to come to wit their spouse(this will definitely give her easier access to u)
3. U would just give a woman who already detests her husband more things to use in her verbal Arsenal like reminding him that he is where he is today becos of the goodwill of her Ex during their next quarell, ofcourse d hubby will take it out on you, even if nuffin is happening, he wouldn't hesitate to spread D word around d office. Dt u re banging his wife, or take out his frustrations on d quality of work he produces
4. Even if none of these happens, from experience such goodwills never end well they always turn out bad.

If you have another friend who can hire him u can beg d friend and do it discreetly do not let d woman or d hubby know you are behind it. If not please help some other jobless Man God will still send them their own helper, its not just you.

Question: How can I stop being his bootycall?

Answer: I TG u realize what u are 'just a Bootycall', In life d Booty_call REMAINS d Booty_call, D GF n love of his life remains that, There is no Moving up d Ladder, No coming out of your ZONE,(yes that is d station u've been assigned to in his life)no matter how gud u fink u re in Bed or d variety of styles u try with him he'll definitely Come back for more sex of course nuffin more than that. I am stating this as it is to u now In case u Hv succeeded in deluding yourself that u are in love with him and Even worse want to take him on as a project to work on and make into a more loving Man lol... Sorry is ur middle Name, U just can't make a guy fall in love wit u no matter how Good u are(and nt just in bed) d funny part is d love of his life might even be a real mean biatch but hey dts love for u. If he only has time for u wen he wants it then that's d only time he feels u babe... What to do about it? Its as simple as this Stop responding to his booty calls, when next he call u tell him u re too Busy to meet or give him d courtesy he never gave u, Be blunt tell him to Go F!ck Himself

Lol for soups dey re kinda . Buh wen it comes to things like rice, beans and all such solid foods d Igbos take it anytime