Breaking news: timo werner will not feature in Chelsea's next match cos fabinho has refused to release him from his pocket

Breaking news: timo werner will not feature in Chelsea's next match cos fabinho has refused to release him from his pocket

benzene00:
Ladies miseducation

This goes to prove more that females intelligence are far way below than the average male. They can't come up with something sensible and logical.



See as this one is sounding like someone that is conducting SHILOH service

allow the girl to land biko and stop panicking...
some guys really need to work on their self esteem

looking forward to reading your ladies miseducations.. just hope its contents are factual and expository like ubunja's.

all these over sabi people. they shuld allow schools to resume next year abeg

But I thought Cersei poisoned her, so she survived..

maybe they want to help you move your ministry to the permanent site..

Hmmm..

There are five questions that a woman should never, ever ask her man unless of course you want him to lie to you. The five questions are:

1. "What are you thinking right now?"
2. "Do you love me?"
3. "Do I look fat?"
4. "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5. "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that any of those questions can lead to a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly.

Below is the detailed analysis of each question, which in turn provides the best possible answer. Also the most commonly used wrong answers are listed.

1. What are you thinking?
The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of the following things:

Football!
How fat you are.
How much prettier she is than you.
How one game cut his ticket
The containers he's expecting... And so on

2. Do you love me?
The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear". Wrong answers include:

I suppose so.
Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
That depends on what you mean by "love".
Does it matter?
Who, me?

3. Do I look fat?
The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not." and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
Compared to what?
A little extra weight looks good on you.
I've seen fatter.
You say what?

4. Do you think she's prettier than me?
The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
You say what?

5. What would you do if I died?
Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would hurl myself under the front tires of the first trailer that came my way."
This might be the stupidest question of the lot.

So how have you been answering these questions? And for those that have been answering these questions wrongly, you will do well to take a leaf from the aforementioned tips.

https://www.smart-jokes.org/five-questions-and-their-correct-answers.html

Interesting stats

and the Muslims think you guys who don't believe in allah are infidels. i guess that makes you an infidel.

The Champions League has seen so many legends since the European Cup was rebranded in 1992-93. But who do you think were the best XI?
Go to https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/53786655 follow the instructions and select your all time champions league IX, then come here and post your selection.
Below is my all time champions league eleven...
Let the fun begin.

This game shows how underated van dijk is. Had all these bayern attackers in his pockets when liverpool played bayern last season

i'ld love for barca to win cos of messi, but unfortunately, the only thing barca have right now is messi and past glory and i don't think that would be enough to save them today from bayern.

Agree or disagree?

that Bayern goal means Chelsea can now qualify if they win by a 3 goal margin.

Righteousness89:
This is a Case of Hunger..

The People should Caution the Woman and Give her some food to eat and take Home..

that would have happened in a sane climate. does Nigeria look sane to you? nigerians dont have empathy for their fellow humans. reason why we are backward

mrkings84:




Oh....shit,. They just got the winna...but Great game boys....... Am proud of u boys. I am certain next season is gonna be great for us....up blues.

Chelsea gradually becoming the new arsenal. always waiting for next season to do well

liverpool beating the agberoos like say dem thief

I'ld love to see the weed pogba is smoking. I'm sure it doesn't have a nafdac number.

Cardozzo:

does that mean we watched the match together at a filling station because there is a guy saying same thing there opposite AP

lol... I watched mine at a bet9ja shop

this people wey dey bet dey make person laugh. person give arsenal straight win, less than 10 mins after game start e don dey complain say arsenal no dey serious for the game. say arsenal don sell the match

arsenal have been playing well recently. if they can keep up their form, they might finish above wolves next season.

no. what you need is to learn how to chyke women offline

you thief finish go dey pay tithe. typical christians, always deceiving themselves.

when you get miscarriage, i hope you will flaunt it too....

Roma10:
Money is the root of all evil don't take money above human am going for the beautiful girl GOD May stil bless me after all of this

finally one honest person

not bad

work hard and make money, and you wouldn't feel threatened or bothered by feminists/feminism.

sorry for your loss