₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
Or is it all men cheat except me?

you didn't know?

christopher123:
Pre-colonial Igbo political organization was based on semiautonomous communities, devoid of kings or governing chiefs. With the exception of towns such as Onitsha, which had kings called Obis, and places like Nri and Arochukwu, which had priest kings known as Ezes, most Igbo village governments were ruled solely by an assembly of the common people. Although titleholders were respected because of their accomplishments, they were never revered as kings, but often performed special functions given to them by such these assemblies. This way of governing was immensely different from most other communities of Western Africa, and only shared by the Ewe of Ghana. Igbo secret societies also had a ceremonial script called Nsibidi. Igbos had a calendar in which a week has four days. A month has seven weeks and thirteen months a year. The last month had an extra day. They also had mathematics called Okwe and Mkpisi and a saving and loans bank system called Isusu. They settled law matters by oath-taking to a god. If that person died in a certain amount of time, he was guilty. If not, he was free to go, but if guilty, that person could face exile or servitude to a deity.

true this. Igbo are known to be one of the earliest civilizations to practice democracy in Nigeria. There wasn't just one monarch who ruled over everyone rather we had a system of government known as "Oha na Eze" . Meaning "the people and the king". The people before the king.

Only in a few areas was kingship hereditary. In most places,it was by 'divine' selection or good old voting overseen by the kingmakers.
Titled men known as the nze na ozo lead the people alongside the king priest. Each kindred producing an nze to represent them much like the current house of reps thing we have going now.

And then the umuada society (our old version of feminists if I may say that)
a group made up of first daughters of every household to see to the rights of the women. Although in some areas umuada societies consist of all females and not necessarily the first daughters.


Fascinating really.

Rotflmao

r231:
Dinner time

mehnnnnnn

Shameful

spenca:
@op which one be felled again ?? See what GEJ has done to our educational sector, saTANist see what you represent , shame !!

the grammar is correct

saucechilli:
Thanks babe.

I told Edwife to throw that her LG phone and Compaq computer away.

See the way you just uploaded the thing sharp sharp. I'm sure you are Apple babe.

Edwife. , get those equipment let me fix it for you.

lol @ equipment. Leave my darling edwife alone.

crackhaus:
A full grown MIL has control over how her sh1tty marriage would affect her relationship with her DIL by not acting out the frustrations from her own marriage on her son's - why did you twist it?

BTW I'm perfectly calm, are you?
Using/not using emoticons doesn't necessarily reflect one's true feelings at the moment.

You are biased on this subject.

biased against who?

saucechilli:
Chai this food sweet me, just couldn't resist . So got to share for the family.
Coco, pls help me send to the kitchen .

So no one was home to disturb my dinner . Enough pepper. Olala, ca pique

Spinach
Skinned fish
Palm oil
Onion
Garlic & herbs
Tomate.



Yam

done

Chillisauce kitchen

saucechilli:
Chai this food sweet me, just couldn't resist . So got to share for the family.
Coco, pls help me send to the kitchen .

So no one was home to disturb my dinner . Enough pepper. Olala, ca pique

Spinach
Skinned fish
Palm oil
Onion
Garlic & herbs
Tomate.



Yam

crackhaus:
A full grown woman(MIL) has a measure of control over how her own sh1tty marriage can directly affect her relationship with her DIL.

So you didn't deduce the similarity between the two huh?
That's what happens with someone who's biased.

I'm biased against who exactly? Nna Biko calm down.
Yes a full grown mil has control over how a shitty marriage affects her relationship with DIL by not putting up with poo in the first place so that she doesn't turn to a frustrated mil

If I didn't know you better I would say we are saying the same thing

majekdom2:
that was how the other lady put it, been a fan of your posts until your wrong assumptions came up . An unhappy marriage isn't just about a partner cheating . There are faithful partners who are unhappy in their marriages. Isnt t right to conclude such women in these marriages can turn out to be frustrated MILs. You are who you are because of your orientation and exposure which defines your character. I won't compare myself with anyone, but I don't see myself doing evil to the next person because I am frustrated knowing fully well they are not the cause.

what other lady? Anyway that's by the way.
You won't take out anger in anyone else for something they didn't do to you. Thank god for your mindset. Sadly it is not the reality for many people. As for wrong assumption,I don't expect you to agree with me. But the fact remains that women who use their kids as alternative source of emotional happiness create a dependence that is not healthy when the kids grow up. Even if they don't realize it.

cKaiser:
A poor boy sleeps with them for 7yrs no pregnancy, one day a guy working in Shell sleeps with them the following week they are preganant WHy because na the Shell guy spermm strong pass.

this bit is funny. I had to laugh

Emaprince:
..women shouldn't expect to get what they can't give..

same as men if they can't zip it,then they shouldn't expect their wives to. Yes?

majekdom2:
overtime I found out majority of folks on here relate their personal experiences to majority, while these is just a problem with minor who have got different orientation and exposure. If majority of mother in laws are bad , how many women will still be willing to marry knowing fully well they will have to deal with a " wicked family inlaw".

who said a majority of mothers in law are bad? So saying frustrated wives end up as mean mothers in law automatically means majority of mothers in law are bad?

I forgot it is nairaland where things are twisted out of context.

cKaiser:
Someone said Nigerian married women cheat also, How come we dont usually have threads on here everyday of wifes cheating like we do for husbands

Well we can conclude Nigerian married women are saints who would/have never cheat

I was the one who said it. Maybe for some reason you've been getting the last parts of my posts wrong.I'm fully aware women cheat as much as men. I just don't fancy the silly excuses ppl make for men who cheat and the women who clearly can't bear it but decide to stay put and then take out their frustrations on those around them.

crackhaus:
Now do you understand your bias?
Women in blissful marriages make excellent mothers-in-law while women in sh1tty marriages make terrible mothers-in-law...this is your logic right?

Would you apply this same logic regarding children raised in single-mother homes/broken homes versus children raised in homes complete with both mom and dad?

Do you need me to tell you the similarities between the two?

there is no similarity. How did you even THINK of such a comparison?

A woman can and should be able to decide when she's had enough. Rather than sit and watch a marriage ruin your person and who you set out to be in life. A kid has no control over who the parents are. A full grown woman has a measure of control over who she's spends the rest of her life with and if to continue in a marriage with a partner who's only goal in life is to make her as miserable as possible because he knows he can get away with it.

babyosisi:
Eziokwu
I remember you saying you had the plans a while back
Email is babyosisi@ hotmail.com if you had any questions about anything
No rush

thank you

majekdom2:
the day a woman puts these kind of mentality behind her is the day her empowerment start. Uneccessary pity is a problem with majority.

by putting the mentality behind her do you mean not conforming to those kinds of theories or situations because she's expected to? If yes,welcome to my side if the club.

cKaiser:
Most people think men are stupidd and dont know what they are doing.

I am sure some of MKO Abiolas wifes too thought he didnt know they were cheating until they saw he mandated them to have their kids do a DNA? You would think Kema Chikwe's husband, those Nollywood actresses, those celebrities husband too dont know

Even the average joes on the street, whose wife go to sleep with men around you think he is dumb and doesnt know a thing? The woman who was sleeping with one popular Pastor you would think her husband dont know.
I know guys who have caught their wife cheat and wont say a thing outside. One didnt even tell a single soul about it because of the shame the society would tag him for allowing a philandering wife, It was until he divorced her years later before he told people whereas if it was a woman immediately she would raise alarm

Because men have a way of internalising or rather ignoring things you think they dont know also?

So everyone in the area knows Mrs X is doing runs and her husband wont have any idea, any slipped text, calls, etc or no one would tell her husband

interesting. So some men do hide and put up with infidelity? Ok I'm hearing this on nl for the first time.

crackhaus:
Still assumptions.

But before we end this;
Women who had blissful marriages don't and can't become terrible mother-in-laws?

hardly.

majekdom2:
the same way you got no time is the same way many Nigerian mother in laws have got no time these days .The generalization poo is a problem with nigeria. The fact that you had this experience does not mean it happens to majority. This happens to women who are either solely dependent or are idle themselves. As a woman just as I wont take poo from my husband is the same way I won't take poo from my inlaws. Well I have lived the most part of my life on Nigeria, I don't believe in living abroad anyways and I have lived in 4 major cities in this country , I said its ancient and village because I have barely heard of these issues. There is this class of women I am yet to understand , this class complains about Nigerian men , complains about mother inlaws and family in law, complains about everyday living. How can they be pleased really ?

it is good and fine to say you won't take poo from in laws if you have a husband who stands by you in times of problems. What of those who don't have such husbands? They either put up with the poo or leave. We know naija women in naija hardly leave the marriage no matter the flavor of poo they have to swallow, hence most are walking bags of frustration. Anyway the MIL and DIL saga is not ancient o. It still happens very much.

You're also right about women who complain about everything. AKA nagging. Their matter dey heavenly high court as we speak. Another thread would do justice to their issues

DailyNews:
..though its been long I saw ekpe or celebrated iri ji. Lovely culture

me too. Miss home

See painment
Sorry o

Emaprince:
Useless thread!!!

Women will always keep discussing about men cheating when majority of them here tells us that they(women) cheats more than men...infact,they aren't lieing at all!..

I've seen naija ladies discussing men issue..saying that there's nothing like having a man you will call your own..smh...all these ladies I'm talking about has two to three boyfriends plus other men that get quickies..I looked at them and wondered why a woman will lead a slu.tty life only to demand for a mumu faithful husband...thunder fire all of una there!!!..
You women need to learn how to be faithful and content with what you have too...I don't think slu.tty naija women deserves any faithful husband because when they get one,they will start taking him for granted and may even start playing the game since she's very sure that the mumu husband won't stray...
Y'all just need to work on your wh.orish lives first and stop being obsessed with men..

crackhaus:
Like I said before, you can't be sure of the reasons why a MIL behaves the way she does.

ok let's leave it at that.

armyofone:
Now you are authentic NID
I missed your question on hausa fish
If you make stew with that dried fish huh...let me not make you go back to Nigeria.
Waiting for my mom to send me some.

ehn? I like better thing o. If you get it,just show me a pic let me see if I know it. I've an aunt in the north.

cKaiser:
Those women who they take to short time hotels most have husbands, Do you think all these husbands are dead and blind not to know?
Probably they do and just deal with it differently like I said take to alcohol or gambling or just run away. So why arent they going to disturb their son in law like the women do?

nope they don't know. They live in fools paradise thinking they are the only ones who have the monopoly to cheat. Hence many can live for 20 years in the same house with a son who is the carbon copy(splitting image)of their neighbor yet they won't know he's not their son

crackhaus:
Lol...please correct me - you said that MILs who give their DILs sh1t usually do so because they probably had a crappy marriage with their Nigerian husbands and chose to suffer in silence, wasn't this your point?

thereby making their kids (sons especially) the alternative source of affection and emotional happiness. Which is often not healthy for the young man when he marries because his mother is dependent on him in a way that is not proper.

That's the full point

[quote author=crackhaus ]and independent of what the MIL may have gone through in her marriage.[/quote]not. Do you know some women will see their daughters in law as evil if it happened that they used to kneel down and serve their husbands food but their son cooks for the wife sometimes? most times to them, you've to go through what they went through or else you're having it easy and they can't have non of that.
To some they were used to being seen and not being heard and even if their husband used to come back by midnight everyday they were just glad that he even came at all and considered themselves lucky. Only for them to visit their son and see that he's accountable to his wife?
Or maybe they find out you guys operate a joint account which means you've to be aware of any expenditure your husband makes from the family account as against their generation that had to manage whatever they were given. No questions asked.
Some even knew their husband's mistresses and out-of-wedlock kids only for you to marry their son and demand faithfulness?

To them you're controlling their son and they are having non of it.

cKaiser:
Are there men who endure marital frustrations?

my brother that's what I should be asking you o.

-Are there men who put up with years of adultery from their wives and stay in the marriage swallowing all sorts of philandering and maybe physical and emotional abuse but don't divorce because of their kids?
- Are there men who don't leave their wives because society scorns them as divorcees and mocks them as single parents?
- Are there men who think of the well being of the so called marriage institution first before their own happiness?
-Are there men who have had to fight their wives numerous lovers,wear red boxers , cook her best meal and pray their rosaries hoping to win the affection of their wife back and praying that the phase will end so that dear wifey can come back to them after she's gotten the fvckery out of her system or maybe after she's caught one STD and is ready to retire from playing the field?
- do you know any married man who has willingly decided to endure all that because the society he's in doesn't take kindly to him having a say in his own happiness and what he wants out of his own life?


Do you have your answer now?