₦airaland Forum

Miriam, Moses' sister.

What tribe in Israel was completely wiped out in a war with their brothers, except for 600 men?

Tried it. Didn't work. It's very hard to do unless you find someone who shares your vision for the business, has excellent management skills AND is very honest.

I will not use that if I am born again mind you!!! all am saying is people are looking for easy ways to go to heaven when it is already said that the road is rough and narrow!

Jesus' walk to calvary was not a smooth one and he did not look for easier ways; y'al must have seen the passion of the christ. so when u do things that the sinners do, God can't send them to hell and welcome u to heaven!!! it don't work that way

@ Cabali,

Davidlyan is exactly right about you. Can you picture a janitor standing over a surgeon in the operating room and telling him where to cut open the patient's heart? Come back and tell us your opinion of christian dating WHEN you become a christian, thank you.

@ Ronke and Analytical,

You both make good points and even where i don't agree with some of your points Ronke, i will concede that they are well thought out. I think like you have both done, i should just share my own experience too.  I also had someone i really wanted to marry. We were classmates and close frineds; I loved his looks, sense of humor, everything - it was like we were made for each other - and to crown it all, he was a christian. At the time, he was in a difficult relationship that wasn't working and i had determined to wait for him to sort things out and get out of it, because i knew he cared about me too.

One day, i distinctly heared God's voice tell me to let him go and move on. That same month, i met my future husband. Even after i started dating my husband, i questioned the wisdom of letting go of this other guy, especially when he actually quit that other relationship six months after i got engaged. With my husband, it wasn't all nice and easy. We had many personality clashes and fights but we stuck it out because we both loved each other, and today we are growing more and more in love by the day (it's been 3 years).

Now to analytical's point - this is why it is important to attend to the spiritual in choosing a marriage partner - recently i found out that this other guy that i loved so much had other love interests at the time as well. In addition, he is now married but his eyes are still roving all over the place. Even though i didn't know this at the time, God who knows all things saw his heart and directed me away from him. Physical compatibility is super important, but so is God's guidance. One should not be elevated above the other.

@ Ronke, i have one small comment to make in response to your comment about Pastor Bim. Pastor Bimbo would never advocate divorce. In fact she warns youth to make the marriage decision carefully because once you are in, there is no going back. She used to say "a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage" but once married, she was a firm believer in till death do us part.

congratulations.

Courtship: We are trying to get to understand (and get to know) each other beyond the level of friendship. We may get emotionally intimate, but nothing goes beyond the physical. This type of relationship is practiced only by losers, pretenders, 'damaged goods' (psychologically scarred people), Christians and Muslims. It usually turns out that one party was fooling the other at the end of the day, or their sole goal in life was 'to get married and become a nagging, money-grubbing, unexcitable asexual shrew'. Incidentally, this is the only kind of romantic, premarital relashionship approved by Christianity and is designed to not last for an unneccesarily long time, but some unrealistic people extend it for periods like 5 years or more, helping to metamorphose it into one or more of the other forms detailed below.

@ Gridlock

From your definitions, it is clear that you are biased, and not necessarily in a good way. Allow me to attempt a more objective definition of terms:

"Going Out": This is a common term among secondary school kids and sometimes university students. The participants in this kind of relationship are typically not looking for a marriage partner, just sampling the thrills of interacting with the opposite sex. Typically they are also too young to be contemplating marriage anyway. When young ones engage in "going out" without proper sex education or grounding in God, there will likely be negative consequences - too early exposure to sex, broken hearts, maybe even pregnancy. This to me, is definitely a no-go area for christians.

Dating: This is slightly more serious than going out, but again is a trial and error method of finding a life partner. The basic principle of dating is that you find the right "one" by trying out a number of relationships to see which one fits best, kind of like pressing all the loaves of bread in a supermarket aisle in order to pick out the freshest one. Again for christians, i would say no to this. Why? See below.

Courtship: In levels of seriousness, this is a step above dating. You are essentially doing something similar to dating .i.e. initiating a relationship with the opposite sex with the hopes of finding a life partner. The fundamental difference between courtship and dating in the Nigerian context, is that the clear intention of courtship from the get go is marriage. Hence there is a level of commitment already between the two people involved even before marriage.

Engagement: Again in the Nigerian context, this is the point where the courting couple make their commitment to get married known clearly to everyone else.

Now back to why i favor courtship over dating. First, dating by nature, encourages trial and error. It's message is, "if it doesn't work, just move on". Unfortunately, emotionally, its not that easy to just pack your bags and move in and out of relationships. It is hurtful and very painful for the parties invloved.

I also think dating psychologically prepares people for divorce. Once you get used to packing up and moving on once there is a problem in a relationship, then it becomes that much easier to do it after marriage.

My third reason is practical. If you are a christian, who firmly holds on to the Bible's admonition to avoid sex before marriage, then you have no business dating. Sexual abstinence is not the easiest thing in the world. An 18 year old christian, who is not ready for marriage but starts to date is much more likely to have premarital sex than someone who waits till they are nearing the age of marriage - say 21 or 22 and then prayerfully and carefully enters into a relationship with the intention of marrying this person - if all works out well. Then you have a clear purpose, and both persons in the relationship are working towards a similar goal, and the courtship is just long enough to know each other well, but not so long that the pressures of abstinence become too much to bear.

Clearly from my previous posts, i do not support the doctrine of some churches that do not allow courting members to have private time to get to know each other well. Going out together, spending time discovering each other's likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, and goals in life (outside of the pastor or elder's gaze) are all important parts of the courting process. Marriage is both spiritual and physical, therefore finding a life partner should also be done by using both your spiritual and physical senses.

Ronke,

This thread is getting very emotional for me. When i read your posts i remember something my pastor says : "there, but for the grace of God, go I". When i was in 300 level in school, i got engaged to a Pastor - as in, ordained Pastor because he told me God had informed him i was to be his wife. He was in a different city from me and so we didn't get to see each other often. We talked so little that the first year we were engaged, he didn't even know when it was my birthday.

Even when he was around, we only had "spiritual" conversation. Around the time i was graduating, i started taking stock and finally had the courage to tell myself the truth - this is crap! He knew nothing about me, even after two years of "dating" - he didn't know my middle name, he didn't know the names of my siblings - heck, he didn't even know how many brothers and sisters i had. It was so ridiculous. Anyway, i waited until my last month in school (to reduce the pressure from my fellowship brethren) and told him to forget it. The funny thing is after i called it off, then he started going to the ends of the earth to look for me but by then, like i said earlier, i had encountered Pastor Bimbo's messages and there was no going back to stupidity.

Ronke, i sincerely wish you well. I hope that things work out for you in your marriage. I cannot imagine how hard it is to be married to someone you don't love. All i can say is, stay close to God in prayer because he can bring out the brightest gem from the dirtiest gutter and remember the bible says he makes ALL THINGS work together for our good. I am going to put you on my prayer list. Cheers.

For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in [under] the law shall be judged by the law . . . . For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another (Rom. 2:12,14-15).

Because i believe the above quote expressly states the mind of God about this matter, i wanted to post it in a simpler version of scripture. See the message version below.

"If you sin without knowing what you're doing, God takes that into account. But if you sin knowing full well what you're doing, that's a different story entirely. , 16When outsiders who have never heard of God's law follow it more or less by instinct, they confirm its truth by their obedience. They show that God's law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God's yes and no, right and wrong. Their response to God's yes and no will become public knowledge on the day God makes his final decision about every man and woman. The Message from God that I proclaim through Jesus Christ takes into account all these differences."

I will respond to this question first by quoting 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

When this couple watch other people having sex , the likelihood is for them (especially the man) to replay these pictures over and over in their minds. You need to realize that when these images come back to mind, it is a picture of someone else engaged in sex and not your spouse, so any lustful feelings that emerge from these replays will be towards someone else. And Jesus goes on to say that if you even think about having sex with someone, it is the same as committing the act. Sex can be a powerful tool in the devil's hand. I don't think any christian should open the door to the devil in this area of their lives for any reason. As a woman i think you should be particularly protective over your husband and his spiritual development. Men struggle so much in this area already, the wife shouldn't make it even more difficult for him.

You also need to note that pornograghy is demonic and addictive. Like someone said before, the people in that movie are not married and are in fact sinning against God. By patronizing them, you are therefore encouraging them in their sin.

My final word is from Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything."

yeah you are right about what you said, but then you are just one of the lucky ones. my experience was totally different. just pray you never fall prey to these preachings. when i gave my life for instance, i gave it fully accepting to surrender my life to Christ. i was one of those that wanted to make heaven at all costs as preached and as such, had to do everything i was told was the right way to get to heaven eventually, never knowing it is not all that say Lord Lord that actually know this Lord. in short, i guess some people just have to learn the hard way the act of being true to one's feelings and not try to live a fake life in the name of being born again. afterall it is only God that sees the hearts of men, so why fake your personality before God. i tell you lots of people have used the name of God to confuse thrillions of people and commit attrocities of all kinds. it is only God that truely knows those who serve him. so in conclusion, it is this kind of double standard that makes xtian dating more difficult. most of it are just fake/pretence with all these the "Lord sayeth you are mine" stuff.

Ronke,

I can totally relate to you and your christian background. When i was in the university i also attended a fellowship that believed in 'dreaming' about your life partner. If i had gotten married while still in that environment, it may have been a disaster because there was a lot about marriage that i didn't know. Thank God for bringing me in contact with the late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya's teachings. They were eye opening to say the least. The good thing is, as long as both parties fear the Lord, with patence and love, i believe any marriage can be made to work.

On a general note, i don't think christian courtship is any more challenging that any other courtship. As with all courtships, sometimes you will come across insincere people; i think the key for christians is as much as you depend on your senses to determine who is right for you, you also need to depend on God, pray and be spiritually discerning because ultimately God knows more than you do about that person you are considering. Of course, you also need to be the right person. Many of us want to marry Mr and Miss perfect when we are nowhere near perfect ourselves.

A note to those who want to marry non-christians and convert them, no human being can convert another. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. If the person is not everything you want before you get married, don't hold your breath that they will change afterwards.

There are a lot of successful christian marriages out there so definitely it is possible to have a successful christian courtship and marriage. Maybe those who courted and married as christians should drop a note to tell us about their experiences and encourage the many jaded people on this post.

a good annual salary in USA  starts  frm $150,000.

Whoever said this, do you live in the US? and what do you do for a living?

FYI median household income in the US for 2005 was $46326 - household meaning husband + wife; and only 15.73% of all households had annual incomes exceeding $100,000. 

Those who earn more are typically those with graduate degrees, or in choice professions like medicine, pharmacy, consulting or investment banking.

@ Vie,

Don't be discouraged or feel inadequate just because of aptitude tests. I always tell people that those tests are not always a test of intelligence - they are tests of 1) how quickly you can answers multiple choice questions and 2) how much practice you've had beforehand.

Aptitude tests have a method to them. The key thing is time and it is very possible to be highly intelligent but be a slow thinker, so the secret is to learn shortcuts to answering these questions (for instance, to multiply a number by 25, instead of doing long multiplication, multiply the number by 100 .i.e. add two zeroes and divide by 4) so that you can do the most with the little time you have.

Don't be discouraged, practice and prepare, i'm sure sooner or later you will do well in them.

If IBM made toasters,
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.

If Xerox made toasters,
You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.

If Oracle made toasters,
They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.

If Sun made toasters,
The toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java.

Does DEC still make toasters?,
They made good toasters in the '80s, didn't they?

If Hewlett-Packard made toasters,
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.

If Tandem made toasters,
You could make toast 24 hours a day, and if a piece got burned the toaster would automatically toast you a new one.

If Thinking Machines made toasters,
You would be able to toast 64,000 pieces of bread at the same time.

If Cray made toasters,
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world.

If The Rand Corporation made toasters,
It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode about it.

If the NSA made toasters,
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of national security.

If SAP made toasters,
The manual to run the toaster would be approximately 10,000 pages long. The toaster would come with 2,500 switches which would all have to be set in an exact pattern and in a precise sequence in order to toast specific kinds of bread. Each pattern would be established by SAP's experts as the "Best Practices" method of toasting that kind of bread. It would take a team of basis and functional contractors about 1 year to configure the toaster in the best manner, and then another 6 months to test it. In the mean time, your entire family would need to attend extensive training classes on how to use the new toaster. In order to support end users and consultants, MIT would establish a list-serv for people to post questions and answers regarding toaster set-up and operation. Of course, the online help would randomly pop up in German. But once it was running, you'd get the best toast in the world.

And, of course:
If Microsoft made toasters,
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.

If Apple made toasters,
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.

22A Gerrard Road, Ikoyi. Phone:2694660-4

See this thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-943.0.html

At the time i left Accenture in 2003, entry level pay was N1m. I assume it should be substantially more than that now.

Seun,

I am starting this thread in response to your new rules (which i have posted below for those who have not seen it). In the past, every time i hear people complain about your arrogance and high handedness i have always thought to myself - "sour grapes". But even for an easy going person like me, i found this message very offensive.

To clarify - my problem is not so much with your rules (not that i agree with them) - but the tone of your email. This forum will not be successful without the thousands who post on it, and you need to realize that and therefore learn to address your "customers" with respect and courtesy. If you make the mistake of thinking that this is a never ending ride into success no matter what you do, then you should go and study companies like Dell who neglected customer service to their own peril, or Walmart who thought they were so big that they could do whatever they wanted.

I personally do not appreciate being spoken to as if i am a five year old just because i use your forum to connect with other Nigerians Seun. I think you owe us all an apology.

There, now that i have put in my two cents, you can go ahead and ban me for 5 days (because i will not reveal my location, as a matter of principle), or forever in fact if it suits you because this is my last post on this forum until i get that apology.

Hello,

In order to make Nairaland the most enjoyable online detination for Nigerians, two new rules have just been created:

1) The location in your profile must be the country, state or town you currenty live in - if you're active.

Your location is very important to other members of the forum, because where you live affects your perceptions and experiences. For example, a Nigerian living in UK would know more about racism while a Nigerian at home will know more about the day-to-day experiences of a person living in Nigeria. It has also been discovered that many topics cannot be fully understood unless one knows where the poster lives.

Therefore you are required to indicate at least your country of residence in your profile. If you're unwilling to indicate this in your profile, then you must refrain from making posts on the forum.

If you make posts on the forum without complying with this rule, you'll be banned for 5 days. Locations like "in my girlfriend's bosoms" or "somewhere far away" will be punished most severely.

2) Animated signatures, moving signatures, or image signatures more than 20 pixels tall are forbidden.

A flashy signature distracts people from the subsance of a thread and tends to lead to offtopic comments like "please remove your signature" or "what a cute signature" or "that signature is making me dizzy". Therefore if your signature is animated or an image more than 20 pixels high, you are now required to remove it.

If you make any post after recieving this message and a distracting signature if found attached to such a post, you will be banned for a period of five days and the signature will be removed by me.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember: Resistance is futile and will be crushed!! Obey before complaint!! My forum, my rules!!

Thanks,
Seun Osewa.
The great Obantalatapipipi of Nairaland!

Did anyone see the show?

@Asheggy,

ReStral was started by Ifueko Omoigui - the current (i believe she's still there) Chairman of the FIRS. You are welcome to make any comments you want, but you should know what you're talking about first.

The company that administers the exam is Nigeria is called Touche Limited. Their address is 19A Abagbon Close, Off Adeola Odeku Street (Post Office bus stop), Victoria Island, Lagos. And telephone numbers are 774 4627 or 470 7340. The exam itself costs $160 but i think the company charges about $60 extra.

Unfortunately i don't know any tutorial centers but if you buy a GRE prep book (Kaplan, Petersons or Princeton Review) with CD you should be able to study for it on your own.

Let me give you some practical advice. If you are in good standing with any of the HR reps in the companies that interviewed you, call them up and ask them to please tell you objectively what you could have done better in the interview to secure the job.

Thank God for His grace, and it is always sufficient but getting a job is not just luck of the draw. The ability to successfully interview is a skill and it needs to be learnt/acquired. The first step to acquiring that skill is to find out what you are doing wrong and work to correct it. I wish you all the best in your job search.

I am familiar with ReStral. I have friends who used to work there. It was started by an ex-Accenture partner and delivers training based on Franklin Covey's (of 7 habits of highly effective people fame) principles, among other things. It's an okay place to work - that's if they are contacting you for them - because they also recruit for other companies. Bottom line - fear not, they are reputable.

6 cups of Flour
1 cup of butter
4 eggs
2 cups of sugar
Water
Nutmeg or cinnamon
Oil for frying


Incorporate the butter into the flour
Add sugar and nutmeg/cinnamon
Beat and add eggs
Add water as required
Knead dough until you have a smooth mixture
Roll out dough
Cut into small pieces
Deep fry

(Sorry, no pictures)

I've seen this before but i still think it's hilarious!

I was a member of Fountain of Life when i was in Nigeria and Pastor Bimbo's death was truly a sad event. I still thought of her yesterday and how great a woman she was in this life. I pray that i can have even a fraction of the influence that she had, bless even a small percentage of the people that she blessed and win to Jesus a small proportion of those she brought into the kingdom in my own life time.

My thoughts are with her family today - Pastor Taiwo, Tolu, Jimi and Tobi. I pray God keep them and prosper them till the time when we will all meet with her at the feet of Jesus.

Thanks for this thread.

Someone sent this to me and i think its really good and something to think about for all married (and unmarried) folk.

When Does Adultery Happen?

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

"Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm
crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%.

Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha ,  . , "

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall
for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high
heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat
when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 90% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 90% the 1000% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you're thankful for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.

About your friends.

About your children.

About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class
cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in
porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the
world says is first class.

Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The Message:
If you start appreciating what you have right now in your life, wherever you are IS FIRST CLASS!!!

Well, it looks like this show finally took off. Is anybody watching? I would like to hear people's comments about the show please.

So has this show started?

Topic: The Lord is Your Shephard

The Bible in several passages compares christians to sheep (e.g. Isa.53:6, John 10:27).
Sheep are known to be pretty simple animals. You never see a sheep in a circus because as an animal trainer will tell you, it is almost impossible to teach them to do tricks. They have very little instinct of danger and are susceptible to attack from other animals. They only lie down when they are full and sometimes if someone doesn't turn them over, they may suffocate.

So why does the bible compare us to this animal?

To illustrate that as the sheep is totally dependent on the shepard for its welfare, so also should we be entirely dependent on God.

The Bible describes Jesus as the Good Shepard (John 10).

What are the characteristics of the Good Shepard?

1. He provides for His sheep. Psm 23:1, Matt 6:25-26.
God gives us everything that we need - not want. Phil 4:19.

2. He protects His sheep. Psm 23:4a, Psm 91:1-7


3. He corrects. Psm 23:4b (NLT), Hebrews 12:5-6


4. He guides. Psm 23:4b, John 10:27, Isaiah 30:21

All we need to do is to trust God for His provision, protection and guidance. He has promised to give them to us if we ask Him, and if we surrender our lives to His Lordship, and let Him lead us through this life as our Shepard.