₦airaland Forum

giggsy goal. . .

never in doubt. . . . .we looked shyte though!
sir alex gambling with the selection would cost him one day!!

ThiefOfHearts:
why does this coon keep harping about divorce being a sin but not hurting one's wife?

Then again everyone knows Naija churches are garbage which iis why the followers keep yarning dust

because you were raised from a broken home does not mean everyone would subject themselves to that kind of childhood.
i believe your parents also go to nigerian churches - so the dust yarning probably started from the cradle for you.

armyofone:
talk it out, argue, debate the situation, pros and cons it etc. but not by using your hands, how hard? they say men don't know how to talk, really?? go see them argueing abt games/soccer/football etc.

debate and argue with a woman throwing objects in every direction. . . .
how pleasant!!!

davidylan:
my brother, my peace of mind cannot be compromised in any way o. Neither can my flat screen TV.

i thought as much.

perhaps its because i choose with care. You can tell a psycho very easily, most of us are just too blinded by facial appearance and bo[i]o[/i]b size to make rational lifelong decisions with extreme care.
A woman who frequently brushes off your feelings is most likely going to be a devil in your marriage. Let her go . . .

are you sure?

Like i said earlier . . . i was never a proponent of this before but divorce is a good tool to settling problems like this. Better to have my sanity than be staying late hours in the office to avoid a complete she-devil.

divorce is wrong in the eyes of some people. they consider it a sin!

armyofone:
@coogar
for your friend:
you cause problem at home and run away, coming back much later to ask for food and s.hag? no, some prefer you dont just take car key and run away. stay and talk it out esp if you the cause of the problem in the first place  

then she should not complain when she gets her face battered!

davidylan:
that's why we have the dating period, you decide what you can or cannot handle. Should such happen in a marriage then obviously you wont be walking her out at night but there are better ways of handling her that does not require using your belt. Ignore her, walk off to another room and you both cool off. Later if there is need to call a family meeting to put her straight then do so. Obviously you must have loved this woman for you to marry her . . . that love doesnt just evaporate because she yelled at you.

Should she not change her behaviour then file papers, divorce her and move on. opari. God will forgive you.

now i know you have not really seen psychos. . . .

there's this friend of mine who normally ignores his wife's tantrums. . . .everytime there's a bust, he grabs the car-keys and walks out.
after a while, the woman stepped up her game. the moment there's a heated argument, she hides the car-keys and locks the main doors.
she then blocks the door and prevents the man from ignoring her. . . . .

how do you deal with those?
simply ignoring doesn't solve the problem. . . .sometimes a bit of shoving around works well for the psychos.
shove them around but with a reasonable force.

dayokanu:
David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

david is a peace loving man.
he would walk the two of them out. . . . .he loves his plasma screen!

davidylan:
I just have to ask . . . where do you folks find these animals like this to marry? The very first thing any woman finds out when she meets me is that respect for my parents at least is HIGHLY important. If you cant abide by that then maybe we shld just be friends.
How will my wife beat my mother?   For what? Did she come and take her garri?

you probably don't know women change with time. . . . .
a glance at some topics on this section would tell you exactly what's happening out there.

you marry an angel, she turns into a demon after marriage.
a complete 360 degree turnaround you never thought she had in her.

naijababe:
I agree with Coogar somewhat. CC, i think you should change the thread title to Domestic Violence. . . . . . .

If you know anyone in abusive relationship, chances are they won't leave the abusive partner, get them help any way you can i.e. call the police, inform relatives and whatever you can think of.

thank you, the babe from naija!
i was beginning to think i was in [i]babel [/i]when everyone started speaking different languages.

davidylan:
not really. For starters this happens mostly where the woman has lost all respect for the dude. If your woman respects you, no amount of anger will make her try that nonsense with you.
These things are not hard to handle, your woman shows an attitude you know is NOT acceptable then simply show her the door. easy.

in marriage?

I have had to walk a chic out of my house at 12 midnight when she lost her temper (well justifiably so anyway  ) . . . my policy dey simple - no matter what, you are not allowed to raise your voice, raise your hands or threaten to destroy my property. Ngwah if you try any of the 3 dey go your papa house jejely before i call the cops on you. But to beat you . . . not me. I have better things to do than spend time in jail because of an id[i]i[/i]ot. Plenty of fishes in the river.

david, if this scenario plays out in marriage, you would walk her out?
did you not read the story of that nigerian ambassador that was constantly abused by his wife. . . .yet, it was the woman that told an excellent tale by moonlight until the man's son revealed what actually happened!!!

the issue is. . . . .men and women can be violent.
feminists have brainwashed today's kids that only men abuse domestically.

davidylan:
coogar, johndoe's argument isnt that since a woman beats a man so a man should be able to beat his wife. his argument is that a man has the ultimate authority to cane his wife should the need arise. That is nonsense.
With regard to your situation, that man needs to simply send the woman packing and find another. No one, male or female, should have to endure abuse.

johndoe is obviously winding people up.

he's probably a timid weak husband locked in the closet by his muscular wife!!

Liss:
Neither should a woman under the pretext that she should 'submit' or whatever u abusing loving men call it,

domestic violence is wrong by every means. . . .i will never support it.

a lot of men have been conditioned since early childhood not to hit females. my sister was older than me and could be a little devil, but i was always told by my mum and dad not to hit girls. it was like a mantra. . . . . .and i believe most men had the same kind of training.

men change later because of the type of women they have had to deal with in marriages.

ronkebp:
There is no justification for any man to raise his hands against his wife!!!! no justification!!! [b]no matter what the woman does, men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, some women are evil!! we know that, but to push you to the point of raising your hands and hitting your wife? someone who is supposed to be your flesh and blood [/b]how would you feel if your only daughter that you love and cherish so much is being beaten and crippled by a wife beater? in the name of correcting her. is that how to correct?? what did the Bible say about correcting eachother, 'in love', is beating, slamming to the wall, slapping, 'correcting in love'.

here we go again. . . .

no matter what the woman does? even when he gets his face slapped left and right, he should be in control of his emotions.
the woman delivering those slaps should not control her emotions, and her husband is not her flesh and blood!!

this kind of feminist rants is what is ruining relationships.

davidylan:
wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

johndoe is obviously on a wind-up.
he does not mean what he is saying whole heartedly but i get the drift of his argument.

i have seen men slapped by women in trains, trams, buses countless times and men are supposed to walk away and be a gentleman.
few months ago, i witnessed a female-on-male domestic violence in my neighbourhood, the victim called the police.

after statements were taken, they removed the man from the house that night, after few days, he later returned but was told he should just live with it, because he was taller, and theoretically stronger than his partner.

their logic seemed to be. . . .it was fine for his partner to assault him, because he would probably be able to defend  himself, and they seemed to have no idea that they were implying that it was fine for his child to see the mother attacking their father.

this is the kind of double standard men have to deal with from the police.
i believe a man should have every right to not tolerate assault in his own home, no matter his body-size or body-shape!

dyabman:
i was para-phrasing what he's trying to call those who will put Ramirez in any teams starting line up , he talks as if Chelsea team should be playing just like barca which is not possible ,

guess what Ibime

Ramirez is better than mascherano and busqueetes , a little better player than ramirez is flecther becos hes got long passing accuracy aside that they are fccuking the same set of players,

dyabman, are you high on spliffs?

ramirez better than sergio busquets?
there's no defensive midfielder better than busquets in the last decade. yes, he's a despicable oaf, a cheat, a pretender, a diver. . .but he's an excellent player. the best at his trade.

sergio busquets shytes on any defensive midfielder in europe.
without him, barcelona won't have so many players in their opponent's half when they attack.
busquets is 100000000 miles better than ramirez and he's at least 1000 times better than any defensive midfielder in the premier league.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=758548.msg9147572#msg9147572 date=1316023005]I knew this topic would disintegrate to WE vs THEM. I don't understand why some people want to pretend this abuse issue is not a big deal, like woman just want to make up stuff about being bruised, battered and almost choked to death.[/quote]oh please. . . .
and men have not been treated worse by women?

how many men would walk into the police station and report they have been abused by their spouses.
because a man does not talk or he's ashamed to admit he's been slapped around by his spouse does not mean he is not abused.

this is no we versus them you are trying to paint here.
domestic abuse is a 2-way thing.

but why can't bayern munich afford decent defenders?
who is in charge of the transfer policy of that club these days?

van buyten and badstuber? phil jones is better than the 2 rolled together.

walcolm:
physical violence is wrong and it doesnt matter who is the victim, like some people have highlighted, culture and a weak judicial redress system makes it easy to get away with violence

i will be contirbuting contrarian views to this topic, i didnt read all the posts but from the ones i read, i have noticed tunnel visioning, everybody aligned in one direction, men are the bad guys and women are the victim

so lets narrow down to the specifics of this thread which is violence against a spouse, is anybody asking the question around wives who keep pushing their husbands to breaking point just to get their way?

analogy,
a disagreement happens and the husband tries to leave the scene to cool off but the wife physically blocks his way all the while cursing him and his entire lineage at the top of her voice. there are few choices, the guy stands there and listens to stuff that angers him more or try to move the woman out of the way which she uses as excuse to lash out at him

IMO, i think a lot of the women who claim to have experienced domestic violence contributed more than 80% to the events that led up to the incident by not knowing when to stop and back off

you have spoken the truth and nothing but the truth. . . .

one of the problems of feminism is the way it has made domestic violence a gender issue.
as far as i'm concerned, you can't look at violence in that way. some men and some women can be violent. . .to their partners, children, relatives, friends, pets, people in their care and even random strangers.

both men and women can be capable of quite terrifying violence.
we need to cut out the 'why are men violent and women victims' crap and start looking at why people become violent and abusive in marriage!
and domestic violence against men is just as serious a matter as domestic violence against women.  

women should stop seeing it only as something men do and women suffer.
more women die but men die too and a huge percentage of cases have had women convicted for domestic abuse.
the problem isn't about gender. it's about men/women and violence.

Anvaller:
If you would observe, a Nigerian who is being interviewed on eg CNN or BBC speaking the typical Nigerian accent would have his comments re subtitled in English (most especially in special documentaries) because they think the quality of his accent is not clear enough to be understood by all English listeners around the world. Whereas, another Nigerian whose spoken English is may be not completely American or British but that has a relative influence of any of those accents on the way he speaks would not be re-subtitled because it is assumed that his spoken english is clear enough to be understood by all english listeners across the globe.

excellent points!

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=759141.msg9147409#msg9147409 date=1316021550]
Random thought: how come in Nollywood movies, when Jim Iyke comes back to Nigeria from England(after living there all his life), he ends up getting an American accent? ? ?  
[/quote]his neighbours in england are all americans!

ezeagu:
The fact that we can tell the persons accent is fake usually means the persons accent sound unattractive and unnatural. If you're not an American, don't force it. It's embarrassing.

nigeria's first lady might arrest you for saying this.

seedord247:
what if your mum of 58 years old decide to further her drop out education of 40 years ago, what will you do to stop her

support her by all means. . . .

education is a continuous process. it's only in africa people have the mentality of stopping education because they want to chase money.
i will be glad to support her by every possible means. something to keep her happy, make her smile and rub minds with young people.

dyabman:
(Troglodyte) i don't care whatever you call me so far it won't remove a pinch of hair from my head ,

No coach or manager in the world will have players like ramirez and would love to bench him , hes great playing the CM , and go and check again , last season against fulham after mikel was substituted and ramirez was deployed to the DM i was impressed he is an advanced Makalele with lots of pace to burn,

who cares if you like him or not , i think AVB DOES

watch him play Manutd on sunday

who is the troglodyte?
fat ibime or bluediva?

[quote author=em.RemiLek link=topic=758548.msg9147334#msg9147334 date=1316020917]Hahahaha! your post just goes to show the bitter person that you are.[/quote]bitter? while having my caviar with a chilled bottle of wine?
the only dreg of the society bitter here is you. . . . .a goat that just jumped into a discussion without his moral compass.
obnoxious swine!

None on these ladies caused your frustration, go vent it some where else, Deranged lunatic!

but they caused yours, didn't they?
despicable [i]c[/i]unt!

ThiefOfHearts:
who still uses "nincompoop" in the 21st century? Even ESL students dont use that word. what a loser.

Seriously? Now that would be a shame

just shut up and lie down or go w@nk somewhere else.
if you have nothing meaningful to contribute here but bitter, disgraceful and myopic comments, best take a hike. . . .
i am not even sure you have a grasp of what's being discussed.

ThiefOfHearts:
"he" was obviously weaned very early. One can only show pity to that sociopath

spoken like a true social reprobate. . . .keep going!

armyofone:
coogar, heard you are Sauron/hannibal/ ati be be lo

thought you've changed all the while.

sauron? hannibal?
i will add mohammed, jesus christ and john the baptist to your list.

women and their pathetic stories flooding the internet.
do i blame you people? i blame feminism - the ultimate perversion of human nature.

yet, men are more likely to suffer domestic abuse as women.
just because men won't open their mouths to say mrs robinson slapped me does not mean it doesn't happen.

domestic violence is a 2-way thing.
men get injured, women get injured.

stop concentrating on wife beaters. . . .talk about husband batterers as well.

[quote author=em.RemiLek link=topic=758548.msg9147206#msg9147206 date=1316019773]@Cooger, you are a very big Fool. An attention seeker. These ladies responding to you are just wasting their time.

I pity for who ever is married to you/or will be married to you.[/quote]you are just a nincompoop!
why pity whoever marries me? i don't need your pity.
save that pity for when the ground finally opens under you. . . . you indolent swine!

armyofone:
WOW!!!
not surprise, even the devil quoted Jesus  . a woman should stay in an abusive marriage? odikwa risky o.

only the abused woman can make that decision. it's none of your business !

well, thank God for God's own country where many Nigerian guys wouldn't try such nonsense. they usually end up in jail where criminals shove their index finger inside their an.u.s.

heaven bless america!
the only country on the planet where there's never been a single case of domestic violence involving nigerian men.

iykak47:
thiefofheart, cant you  write without insulting those that oppose your view. it does not make you intelligent. remember you do not have the monopoly of abusive words

why warn her?

let her be. . . . . .she thinks she can open her diseased mouth to curse fellow members anyhow because she had the rare opportunity to be abused as a child. . . . . .everyone here is discussing the cause and effects of marital abuse and the only thing that came out of her pit latrine of a mouth is someone's mother doing the world a disservice?

what a twerp!!!

ThiefOfHearts:
coogar, your mother did the world a disservice with you. Obviously you werent raised in a normal environment.

and your mother did the world a worse disservice by bringing a nincompoop like yourself to the world with your utter bitterness and disgraceful chain of thoughts. talking about someone's mother - do you have one?

You are crying about women slapping blah blah

crying? so you can see my tears from where you are standing?
silly twit.

How many women do you know that hit men? Coming up with BS. How many do you know of? If a woman hits you, end the bloody relation ship. Is it by force? Making excuses for acting like an animal. wah wah she pinched me so IK must break her face. Dont know how you can write that crap with a serious face

What a joke.

if a woman hits you, end the relationship? if a wife hits a husband, he should end the marriage as well?
such infantile remarks from a drug-fiend like yourself. some people take their marriage seriously, not like you do with your flings and booty calls.
divorce is a sin(unless tainted with infidelity). if a divorcee remarries again, she's an adulteress and the man she marries is also an adulterer. people don't just leave their marriages at the first sign of trouble. marriage has never been a bed of roses for anyone. but how would you know? you never stayed with your parents!

debrief08:
I don't support any sort
of abuse I always say that even nagging is a form of abuse. Those people who have the misconception that women ask or do things to get beaten I can only shake my head, you won't understand, its like death if you have never lost someone you will be telling the mourner not to cry. Only a mentally deranged person will nag a man who will tie her hands and flog her like a child. When you know you have an abusive husband you learn to stay silent, men and women who are abusive look for meek submissive women to marry cos we won't talk or fight back. Once a family friend  came to report my ex to me dat he was harrassing her sister, my ex walked in on us while she was telling me, the same person dat came to report was d same person that saved me dat day, she felt so bad cos he really flogged me, she said she thought she could report him and I would talk to him I told her I can't talk to him about anything oh, she looked at me with so much pity.

your ex flogged you because someone came to report him to you?
biko, are you really serious about these stuffs or you are on a wind-up?

how is it possible for a man to just wake up and start beating his wife?
unbelievable. . . .women are excellent story tellers when it comes to relationships so i cannot be convinced with your tales by moonlight.

dayokanu:
It would be better is both parties can act matured

Men dont raise your hand, Women dont provoke.

I think the bible somewhere says harsh words brings out anger. The way some women use their tongue on their spouse they are begging for it.

I have seen a woman who cursed not only her husband but his mother as well, Locked the door that he shouldnt leave the house and listen to her curses.

One thing is, the person you are cursing is not a piece of wood, If he cant curse you back He might use other means which includes violence.

Not condoning it but it would be better for all to work together and avoid it

men shouldn't raise their hands but women should?
what saddens me about this so called violence against women is the hypocrisy behind it.

when a man suffers torrents of abuses from his spouse, he's supposed to be a man and walk away. . . .even when a man gets slapped by his spouse, these women still expect the man to be a gentleman and turn the other cheek. . . .

have you actually seen these wives pounce on the other chics they suspect are having affairs with their husbands? the violence meted out there mocks everything you have seen in world wrestling federation. the truth is women are actually more violent. most violence in marriage are initiated by women but the moment they get overpowered by the men, they cry foul and scream their husbands have physically abused them.

there's no way any man would wake up hale and hearty to start punching his spouse. . . . .i ain't listening to such porkies.

chaircover:
There have been quite a number of threads recently on wife beating & I thought that it may be a good idea to discuss this at length here in the family section.

I have never had a hand raised against me before apart from my parents  so I probably don’t really understand what its like to be beaten by a spouse, however I thought that we can all learn from this thread, even the married ones because we all have single sisters, friends, cousins, colleagues etc share tips and pointers & advice on how to prevent it in the first instance.

Many of the stories here on NL are after the event. The essence of this thread is not just to talk about how to prevent the event but to also talk about what to do if it happens.

From experience and what I have seen, heard etc, these are some of the things that us women need to look out for before we say I do is;

A man who drinks excessively

A man who takes drugs

A man who without batting an eyelid can slap a defenceless person – eg oga slapping his gateman or driver, knowing well that the man will not strike back may one day slap defenceless you.

A man who is always angry – always seems to get involved in road rage incidents, fights at bars etc

A frustrated man who is pushed to the wall; for example He lost his job and his whole world is crashing round him may lash out at people around him.

A man who has a lot of ex-girlfriends – why do they all keep on leaving him

How does he treat his sisters and mother?

This is controversial I know, but some professions seem to have a higher incidence of wife beating. I don’t know if it is because they have a lot of untapped energy or the way that they have been trained. Should these people have stiffer judgements placed on them when they beat their wives to serve as a deterrent to others?

They way that they have been brought up? Do wife beaters learn this from their own fathers?

For those who are already married & have been through this, what did you do after the first slap? Did you pack your bags and leave immediately, report to his/your parents, make excuses for his behaviour etc

Do wife beaters ever stop being wife beaters?

Are there any justifications for a man to hit his woman?

How can we protect ourselves as women? Karate classes etc

Are there any services in Nigeria that are available to battered women & they can go to? If there are it will be nice to name them here.

I know that this topic is a very sensitive one, but If this thread is going to be of any help, please lets all be mature about how we discuss this.

do nigerian husbands actually wake up and start beating their wives?
there's no smoke without fire and we often forget nigerian women are sometimes caustic with their tongues.
i am not in support of any marital abuse including verbal abuses from the females. . . .give nigerian men their credits, they are not monsters.

if you have a dog who keeps biting at every little provocation, the fault lies with you, not the dog!

Jencejyde:
Agreed, he (AW) was trying to work under the not so ideal situation. But i think it more of his Character as manager to be overprotective of his young talents

arsene wenger's overprotection of  his unproven featherweights is actually the root cause of arsenal's barren years. . . . .

wenger's strategy of signing only up and coming rookies started because of lack of funds but continued these last couple of years out of a stubborn desire to prove that his policy was the correct one all along. all these baby players without a shepherd to properly guide them is faux pas. this is the fundamental difference between ferguson and wenger. wenger is an expert at spotting and developing fantastic footballers, ferguson knows how to identify and develop winners, and to an extent create them.

from where i stand, wenger's biggest failing of this strategy is their upside down salary structure. arsenal's total wage bill is comparable with the likes of man utd and chelsea, even though the average wage of their starting xi is considerably lower. this is because they pay rookies way over the odds to fend off interest from other clubs (e.g. rambo and co) which means they're on a huge wage from the moment they join the club, yet don't have much scope to increase that wage as they become established.

this has led to complacency. it also means getting rid of the senior players while they still have a lot to offer(pires, ljunberg, gilberto silva, etc.) therefore, the club end up with loads of very well paid young players - with minimal financial incentive to take their game to the next level - and no wiser and experienced senior players who can act as role models and show the type of obsessive devotion, focus and commitment needed to transform all their sexy football into meaningful titles.

RuuDie:
Yes Mr. Coogar. . . . .

@ least against Bolton he looked like a GK not a clown 

he has always looked like a goalkeeper. . . .
van der sar conceded the same kind of goals de gea has conceded wearing a man utd shirt.

dzeko's goal @ community shield is the same as messi's goal in wembley.
theo walcott's goal at old trafford is the same as the drogba's goal against van der sar in last season's champions league at old trafford!

de gea will become a legend here. . . . .his distribution is first class.
look at this kick - not even van der sar was that accurate.

[img]http://www.abload.de/img/de_geabqru.gif[/img]

but, fans will also make comparisons and blame the newbie.
if we had a new manager last season that won us only 5 away league games in 19, we would be criticizing him that sir alex ferguson would never perform that woefully. . . . . .isn't it?

Ibime:
Coogar has been Torres no1 fan ever since Torres ripped Vidic a new one at OT.

another media generated myth.

can i also say nani ripped kompany a new one at wembley because he took the ball off kompany to score?
how many goals has torres scored against man utd? 3 how many goals has torres scored against chelsea? 12

and you will never hear a single english pundit saying torres tore john terry a new one.

BlueDiva:
^^^^
Fair enough, we shall see.

Now that AVB is starting Torres and making him the arrow head.
We shall see if he will regain his form.

Really, It is the wish for every Chelsea player to see Torres regain his form.
We dont like the tag. . ." the club that buys expensive trash".

never knew you are passionate about football in this fashion. . . .

so you even know what arrow head means?

BlueDiva:
I watch almost all our matches and there are some glaring chances Torres can"t convert.
We might argue that he doesn"t get chances, but what happened to creating your own chance.

like the one mata scored tonight?

People used to open threads to compare Torres and Drogba, Torres and Rooney.

Rooney doesn"t have to wait for chances, he creates his.
Even Chicharito who operates in the 6yrd area still hustles for balls.

that is because fernando torres is a beast of a striker.

let's get things straight here. . . .
chelsea have not built the team around torres. . . . .other clubs have built their teams around their star players.
chicharito and rooney dovetail each other very well. . . . .hernandez likes making those little runs to stretch defenders and it creates the space where rooney loves to operate(the edge of the box).

in chelsea, there's nothing like that.
drogba and torres have the same function and yet the decision makers at stamford bridge cannot see that flaw yet.
if u buy a £50m striker, build your team around him.

Torres is jinxed abeg.
The fans dont want assist, they need goals.

he is not jinxed.

follypimpi:
@Coogar

U keep forgetting Wilshere is a holding Midfielder.

does he really hold?
i actually think he takes turns with whoever partners him in that midfield.
wilshere gets forward whenever he can. . . . .but now that cesc/nasri have left. . . . .i cannot wait for wilshere to be fit.

i want to see what makes him tick.

BlueDiva:
Be fair to Torres abeg.
This is the same Torres that terrorized Chelsea and United. Ask Vidic.

Its difficult to sympathize with Torres sometimes.
Imagine Mata has 2 goals in 2.5 games.

but torres assisted all the goals scored tonight.
has any team-mate provided a pass for torrres to score into the open net like mata's goal tonight? no!

it's not like torres gets the chances and he doesn't convert them.
the truth is the chances have been very scarce!