₦airaland Forum

Typing this alone makes me laugh...

Just over the weekend, i was headed to a friend's wedding driving through the oshodi express way. When I got to somewhere around Gbagada, my car was stopped by two yeye police officers. 'Park here.....park very well, we want to search this vehicle' they shouted. I was like 'Oga, see i'm running late, here are my papers....I quickly handed over my particulars to them so they can hurry up with their wahala and let me go.....but 'Nay'....e be like say this people don dey discuss my matter for their joint tey tey and they probably felt like 'God don catch you today'.

The junior officer asked for my insurance, driver's license, lint permit which I simply reverted by telling him to look through what i had handed over to him earlier. His ego felt bruised a little at this point, then he shouted 'get down from this car....come outside....open this boot, we must search your boot'. I got slightly furious cause I was already late and would be so disappointed if I am to miss the party jollof. So I hurriedly got down, opened my boot and told him to suit himself.

After poking his head here and there, with nothing to pin on me, he asked 'when last did you service your fire extinguisher'. Mehn, i was shocked and didnt know when i said 'What the Fvck'. Oga which one be dis, you are wasting my time. Suddenly, his boss who had been observing the situation from a distance came closer and said, whats the situation here, then his junior partner in crime narrated how he had successfully gotten a customer for the day and the Oga quickly dashed off to my driver seat to pull out my key from the ignition.

At this moment, I couldnt contain my rage, who would have thought these vermins would pull such a stunt. So i switched to my bedroom voice and approached the one forming boss. Oga, abeg I don late, wetin u wan make i do. The officer now said, 'you lagosians think you are smart, now you are doing what you should have done earlier abi, what if your engine goes up in flames and your fire extinguisher refuses to work, you will say its the devil abi. And when your vehicle burns, it will end up creating useless traffic on the road disturbing the activities of other innocent Nigerians. We are taking this vehicle to our office, just get into the car and lets drive to our station. My guess was that he said this to look very serious and diligent as we were by the road side. So i hopped into my car and he quickly jumped beside me.

I went like....officer abeg, wetin i fit do to clear this mess, I am running late for a function. My dressing probably convinced him as my Owambe outfit was heavily starched. So he demanded for 20k on spot....

20k ke....oga,....i don have that amount on me. 'You are not serious then, as big as you are....and you are driving camry muzzle' he replied instantly. He probably must have saved the line. At this point, I dramatically placed my head on the steering forming pensive....LOL. So he lighted up with his brilliant suggestion. 'So you can not use the atm like your colleagues abi....okay' he said. His join-body officer shouted from the back seat.....Oga this man is wasting our time here. We should arrest him...

At this point...a bright stunt suddenly jumped into my head. I turned and told the one forming Oga that I run a corporate account and I can only transact with a cheque book. He said....'hmmmm, na so...abeg move this car lets go to our station'. Then I quickly reminded him that there is a jail term penalty on ground for issuers of dud cheque just to convince him I can never issue him a fake cheque. He hesitated for a while then agreed to collect a cheque from me.

I wrote him a cheque of 20k with a VERY FAKE SIGNATURE.....LOL. Then told him to please reconsider me and be merciful. Just another stunt to make him think I am not happy parting away with the cheque I had signed off. He said...'dont you know you have committed a very serious offence, my advice to you is to service that thing in your boot before someone else catches you. You never can tell, they might not be as nice and merciful as us'. Then they both jumped out. I said thank you and drove off.

On my way.....i kept laughing at how I had played the fools....NOW FAST FORWARD.

Just yesterday, the one i had issued the cheque in his name attempted to make a withdrawal on my account with the cheque when my bank called me to say someone is at the counter with my cheque but the signature on it is totally different. I quickly exclaimed to the bank satff 'Please arrest him, my cheque book has been stolen, I called customer care but no one answered my call and my intention was to come and file a formal complaint with your bank at the close of business

I bought the officer correct GOBE.....then hung up. A few minutes later, my account officer called to say the man claims to have been issued the cheque by the owner of the account. Then I told him to ask this man they are talking about if he knows me by name.....I also reminded them that I am aware its an offence to issue dud cheques, so why would i want to send myself to jail......kikikikikiki

Before I knew whatsupp.....my account officer sent me a text to say he has been detained by the bank's security personnel and would be arrested as soon as they are able to reach the nearest police station. I simply said 'thank you, may God bless you'

Currently feeling fly................LMAO

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Destined2win:
Is he a manager there?

he is probably scared to his balls.........you know his AY live concert is coming up soon.

Baba no want anytin Bleep up at all.....lol

More...

5.)Idris Abdulkareem
6.) Iyanya

Below are the names of the amazing celebrities who have been picked first hand by the best hands based on their likelihood to becoming the President of this great nation someday....

Well.........though controversial, but what can we say?

Here we go....who would you vote for?

1.) Davido
2.) Burna Boy
3.) Wizkid
4.) Terry G

According to the latest information regarding the burning issue at hand which led to the demise of poor and innocent souls. It has been gathered that at exactly 7pm on Saturday, 12th of March, the brand ambassador and the charade junketeer of the Lekki Gardens company (AYo Makun), was reportedly spotted loading a truck with several traveling bags in what is perceived to be an attempt to evade arrest.

Following the arrest of the MD of the aforementioned company and the construction engineer earlier, it is unknown if the brand ambassador is willing to keep waving the promotional flag in a bid to keep upholding the deceptive promises of this organisation. However, an eye witness was reported to have approached his gateman to inquire about the comedian's travel plans and all he got was 'Oga no gree tell me where he dey go' after a strong hesitation.

We believe there should be no form of liability extended to this renowned comedian and in light of this, we hope he comes back soon from wherever he is headed. Otherwise, we wish him safe journey.

olamonsor2:
Seeing death people in dream is spiritually bad.. You need serious and aggressive prayer o.

What about Swiss bank

I slept earlier today and in my dream I saw the Logo of Swiss Bank, then suddenly......he appeared in my dream and asked....Can I trust you?

Pls help interpret this dream......

End Time Banquet

Obasanjo be like:

[size=25pt]Why is this one wishing me hapi betday................ode[/size]

Sound pretty much like techno to me

[size=30pt]This one small where my own dey[/size]

...

[size=30pt]Small time..........he go begin to dey give small small girls for hin primary school belle[/size]

Apply and be probed....

A policeman in Adamawa mistakenly detonates a bomb which was seized from a boko haram sect.

Nigerians react...

[size=35pt]it's Dasuki again[/size]

Wizkid come and hear o....

Should I bring some bottles of Remy Martin for this one too?

[size=30pt]Muscle Headed Niggga[/size]

.

[size=30pt]And some people will open their goat teeth to later say all scholarships are free....why are they asking for N2,000
[/size]

Good for them....

d

ademasta:
Tinu eran ati bokoto

Shaki ati abordi

TippyTop:
Would it be too much to demand you converse using a language we both can understand?

hehehehehehe..........afofun-gbemu

BruzMoney:
legalize weed

Amugbo oshi

TippyTop:
Na lie?

Amukun-meko

TippyTop:
I enjoyed the congratulatory messages Boko Haram sent when Bubu took over.
Within two days Buhari removed all check points, allowing his friends ease of movement in the NE.

Mumu ni eh

Arindin

According to the latest news reaching my desk. It has been gathered from a very reliable source that the notorious leader of the insurgents have penned a congratulatory note to the newly appointed leader of the Peoples Democratic Party; the controversial person of Alhaji Modu Sheriff.

He hopes this would further foster their partnership which is geared towards what majority of Nigerians are aware of already. Ihejirika was not exempted from the season of post-valentine love note which is been dished out by the insurgents.

See video below...