₦airaland Forum

See the troll banning us....

*run for your life*

To go jail dey hungry dis OP.....

u dey use ur papa mate do yeye for hia....dammit

[size=20pt]Una wan make Dem re-arrest this man again[/size].....

Buhari - Amosun, the head of this man standing beside you reminds me of tha unripe fawfaw in the filla. He shuld be in the agric secta fa...

Tinubu - Mr President....hehehehe, he used to be a shoe shiner before Amosun turned his life around. If you look at the back of his head, you will see strong strong muscles. Hehehehe. He is now chopping life.

Amosun - Jagaban.....hahahahaha....alhaji agba, we are just trying to follow your foot steps and better the life's of our aides in Ogun.

Man beside Amosun - kikikikikikikiki

[size=20pt]I will go another round[/size] after celotaping the arz ofcourse.....

If you handle the BlackBerry Passport you'd know that phone is worth its price.

It's a fvcking machine. It takes a lot to understand the value of that productive monster. I've had mine for 9months now and I still can't say i've seen it all. It comes with OS 10.3 that's way higher than the Porsche (except you upgrade it ofcourse).

Another awesome thing that got me is the assistant. You can send a lengthy email or SMS without even touching your phone. All you have to do is speak. You get to tell the phone to pick up q contact and you simply call out your message then it types it and send....all without lifting the finger.

Then to the android fans. The phone has access to 98% o android apps. That makes it a perfect competition (if n senior brother) to the iPhone 6.

Talking about security, that's another feature that would knock anybody out of consciousness. A thief can only take the phone for a while, they can't actually steal it (unless you just wana dash them). I bird's eye element BlackBerry integrated into its latest 'protect software' makes you see the mobile line, street, and even address of the mischievous thief - they linked it directly to the global positioning satellite (Live streaming). It also gives you absolute control remotely. You can turn off the phone from Lagos or wherever, while the thief is in Abuja and currently on the run. You can wipe all your sensitive data remotely. You can make it ring out loud. And you can even write custom message on th screen (stuffs like - u no fit run foreva padi, jes return ma fone jeje).

So many things....i cant list them all....

Asapcymg:
I once saw a beutiful lady living off campus,she is still studying Law 200L althought am graduate waiting to be mobilised A16, her charming smile made me to fall in love with her, I met her on her way from school so I drove her home by the way am able to got her contact and she showed me her place, she happy felt when ever she saw me we gist a lot, but as soon as I left when I call on phone she will not pick untill I went back to her room to remained her she will keep on saying her phone is charging. I'm the shy type I cant tell that I love her directly also time is not by my side, she is perfect curve,moderately tall,white. Please help me because I want to marry her very soon.

I think I forgot to include your type

During the time I have spent here on NL.........I have observed so many weird behaviours and funny individuals crawling out from different shyt holes.

Below is a summary of my observations:

1.) The Stalkers - This type pf people will only comment on a thread because the lady they are stalking just dropped a comment therein. Often times, the said lady eventually turns out to be a fellow man like the stalker

2.) The e-Warriors - They run as fast as they can away from real riots but are willing to launch grenades on social media, These set of people are always blaming the slightest change in the weather on the opposition party, and when anybody comes around to reply them, they simply tag you an enemy. Their forefathers invented the cliche 'Wailing wailers over to you'.

3.) The Die-Hard-Marketers - These set of people are so easy to notice. Buy Advert banners - Dem no gree buy. When you see a thread on how an artist performed unclad at an event, these set of people drop off-key comments like 'check my signature to get affordable window blinds, inverter and hover board. We deliver to your door step'. Just create a thread for it bros. Hian.

4.) The Rev-Mbaka's - These folks are so annoying. The other time I uploaded a picture of my 3 year old daughter wearing a strap gown, one of them just popped out of no where to say 'repent for the time has come when the wheats will be separated from the chaff'. She's just 3 yrs old sir. Biko

5.) The Mgbeke-Feeling-Funky - Hehehehehehe, by their threads you shall know them. The other time, I caught one of these guys creating a thread in a bid to show the world how he kisses his gf. His legs were spread out like he was about to be fingered by his babe. Babes mostly do this tho but some guys are now joining the bandwagon.

6.) The Mischievous Celebrities - Believe it when I tell you that the likes of Wizkid, Olamide, Dbanj and others are all registered on nairaland. They only comment on threads that either has to do with them or the other guy they are nursing a beef with. Yeah, I remember, there was a time someone said Skales will forever be an upcoming artiste - guess what,some dude commented to say 'Do you know what he deals with on a daily basis, you will never attain his height' DING. Another thread came up recently and a young lady was lambasting Olamide for being rude at the headies - guess what? some dude went like 'its so easy to pick up your phone and say trash about Olamide, he is a legend - Iyalaya anybody'. Well, I only observed. Then lately, we heard Dammy Krane and Wizkid are having a thing, some dude said the hair on Dammy Krane's head is not far from the wools on a mopstick - I know Wizkid to have that particular insult spice sha - but no comment still.

7.) The Reporters - These set of people are ready to report anybody to the MODS. You create a post tryna hype the car charger you are selling and mistakenly use a sizeable image - these guys will pop out from their shythole and be like 'Lalalastica, please ban the op, he broke Rule 8 sub section 652, thanks' LOL. Una well?

Please add yours abeg...

omenka:
Mynd44, please take down this thread and ban the op for violating Rule 8.

Thanks.

What is this one saying......mgbeke feelin funky

I just dont understand my little girl. I didnt attend an aviation school and all of a sudden she wants me to be like Buzz lightyear...

.

Yes........Me

100k slightly negotiable

Houseofglam7:
Abeg where's the Caucasian?
Na him wear striped shirt
I see a dude and some puppy but I ain't seeing no Caucasian.



Happy sales bro

Wicked comment

Like say the baby momma palava neva do this guy. E dey find extra gobe with Don Jazzy.

According to the latest information reaching my desk, it has been gathered that Lil Kesh has been arraigned on a single count charge of 'wreckless outburst' on social media sequel to the statement he tweeted a couple of hours ago.

He is currently being deeply grilled in a bid to determine if he sells weed as an additional source of income.

More story after the cut....

DaBullIT:
Sorry , that doesn't sound funny to me

Yo indomie brain just can't comprehend. Its understandable

It so happens that our very own Lai Mohammed decided to visit heaven to solicit for divine assistance on behalf of the nation.

Below is the script of the conversation that took place between him and one of the angels:

(Heaven's gate opens - Lai Mohammed walks in his Agbada)

Angel - Son of man, what is thy purpose in heaven?

Lai Mohammed - I'm here to discuss some P....(angel cuts in)

Angel - Propaganda?

Lai Mohammed - No, I was going to say 'pressing issues'. I am here to solicit for divine assistance for my nation.

Angel - I can see you have a Nigerian passport and a British passport. We are currently running a promo for British citizens so I would like to know which of the nations you truly belong to?

Lai Mohammed - Both actually. I was born and bred in Britain as a full citizen but I just happen to spend more time in Nigeria. Can I participate in the promo? Am I eligible?

Angel - Most definitely you are, provided your personality is devoid of lies.

Lai Mohammed - Eeeeerm, okay...lets see how it goes then.

Angel - Please come with me.

Angel - I was just wondering, if you were born and bred in Britain why is your skin colour different.

Lai Mohammed - Wo my brother....may God not let us land in the hands of the enemies jare. I used to be a white man in my youthful days, until I started living in Nigeria. I lost the freshness of my skin to the harsh conditions and the colour was sabotaged by the opposition party. In short, you should be thanking God that I am alive today.

Angel - hmmmm, I thought as much. So how are you fairing generally. With a 5 minute walk ahead of us, I figured I could use the time to meet your acquaintance.

Lai Mohammed - ah my brother, i'm just managing ni o. You won't believe I haven't eaten anything for the past 3 weeks. The Oba of Oniru invited me to his birthday last week. I wined and dined with him, but I did not eat anything - just because I want our nation to move forward. U know nau - as a good leader (laughs)

Angel - (smiles) I can imagine

Angel - So, tell me, to what do we owe this august visit of yours.

Lai Mohammed - I thought you forgot me totally ni ke. U see this proposal, I am hoping we could strategize and synergise our resources together to escalate the kumbaya of the eribrotum that has baskajized our nation and turned us into a laughing stock in the krimkum of the opposition.

Angel - in clearer terms....you mean?

Lai Mohammed - I mean we are hoping you allow us have direct access to your oil pipeline in heaven.

Angel - hmmmm, that's interesting. With the current resources mother nature has blessed you with. Could you give a brief update on how your nation has been able to make do with this.

Lai Mohammed - Aaaah, we are making do oh. U see, in Nigeria, people are always praying for the leaders, especially for me. Because we have uninterrupted power supply. In short we just celebrated 20yrs of constant electricity last week. Petrol is now selling at N5 per litre, some people even use it to wash their hands to show you how we have been able to manage the resource. Our entertainment industry is now booming like bloomberg. A lot of youths have now joined the bandwagon of the music industry e.g Airforce 1 and so on. Countless baba mi....many many things.

Angel - Very nice. But it saddens the heart to know that some of your youths now roam the streets Unclad. This is unholy and could affect our business relationship.

Lai Mohammed - See, let me tell you. It is the work of the PDP. They are the ones importing useless rags into the country for their supporters. I condemn such bruhaha under my jurisdiction.

Angel - Well said. So should we allow you access to our crude supply. How do you intend to transport this between the two regions.

Lai Mohammed - Perfect question. You see, our transportation Minister, Rotimi Amaechi. He has plans to build a super mega rail track that will link 50 countries within 3 months. I'm sure he has this under control. Have you been to his state recently? Chai...if you see the rail project he did in that state. He perfected it so well that it became invisible.

Angel - Wow. He must be a miracle worker.

Lai Mohammed - Before nkor, i'm telling you that man is a superman.

Angel - I can get Gabriel to start working on the papers to make this a reality, and be rest assured we are ready to support you with £50billion to get things up and running. We only hope to get the money laid in good hands. Do you know of anyone we can trust?

Lai Mohammed - You are looking at the calendar, you are still asking what is today's date baba mi. My good hands are all yours. You can wire me the money. I will sort out the rest. You know I am an elderly man and people of my calibre and prestige would never lie to anyone. You can trust me.

Angel - Okay, noted.

Lai Mohammed - Olryt, howfar the bar. When alert go show?

Angel - Just a simple test of perseverance and the funds will hit your bank account shortly. Are you ready for this?

Lai Mohammed - My middle name is 'ready'. (rolls agbada up)

More after the cut...

kamatofeelz:
Ok GOD FORGIVE US

Relax abeg

It so happens that our very own Lai Mohammed decided to visit heaven to solicit for divine assistance on behalf of the nation.

Below is the script of the conversation that took place between him and one of the angels:

(Heaven's gate opens - Lai Mohammed walks in his Agbada)

Angel - Son of man, what is thy purpose in heaven?

Lai Mohammed - I'm here to discuss some P....(angel cuts in)

Angel - Propaganda?

Lai Mohammed - No, I was going to say 'pressing issues'. I am here to solicit for divine assistance for my nation.

Angel - I can see you have a Nigerian passport and a British passport. We are currently running a promo for British citizens so I would like to know which of the nations you truly belong to?

Lai Mohammed - Both actually. I was born and bred in Britain as a full citizen but I just happen to spend more time in Nigeria. Can I participate in the promo? Am I eligible?

Angel - Most definitely you are, provided your personality is devoid of lies.

Lai Mohammed - Eeeeerm, okay...lets see how it goes then.

Angel - Please come with me.

Angel - I was just wondering, if you were born and bred in Britain why is your skin colour different.

Lai Mohammed - Wo my brother....may God not let us land in the hands of the enemies jare. I used to be a white man in my youthful days, until I started living in Nigeria. I lost the freshness of my skin to the harsh conditions and the colour was sabotaged by the opposition party. In short, you should be thanking God that I am alive today.

Angel - hmmmm, I thought as much. So how are you fairing generally. With a 5 minute walk ahead of us, I figured I could use the time to meet your acquaintance.

Lai Mohammed - ah my brother, i'm just managing ni o. You won't believe I haven't eaten anything for the past 3 weeks. The Oba of Oniru invited me to his birthday last week. I wined and dined with him, but I did not eat anything - just because I want our nation to move forward. U know nau - as a good leader (laughs)

Angel - (smiles) I can imagine

Angel - So, tell me, to what do we owe this august visit of yours.

Lai Mohammed - I thought you forgot me totally ni ke. U see this proposal, I am hoping we could strategize and synergise our resources together to escalate the kumbaya of the eribrotum that has baskajized our nation and turned us into a laughing stock in the krimkum of the opposition.

Angel - in clearer terms....you mean?

Lai Mohammed - I mean we are hoping you allow us have direct access to your oil pipeline in heaven.

Angel - hmmmm, that's interesting. With the current resources mother nature has blessed you with. Could you give a brief update on how your nation has been able to make do with this.

Lai Mohammed - Aaaah, we are making do oh. U see, in Nigeria, people are always praying for the leaders, especially for me. Because we have uninterrupted power supply. In short we just celebrated 20yrs of constant electricity last week. Petrol is now selling at N5 per litre, some people even use it to wash their hands to show you how we have been able to manage the resource. Our entertainment industry is now booming like bloomberg. A lot of youths have now joined the bandwagon of the music industry e.g Airforce 1 and so on. Countless baba mi....many many things.

Angel - Very nice. But it saddens the heart to know that some of your youths now roam the streets naked. This is unholy and could affect our business relationship.

Lai Mohammed - See, let me tell you. It is the work of the PDP. They are the ones importing useless rags into the country for their supporters. I condemn such bruhaha under my jurisdiction.

Angel - Well said. So should we allow you access to our crude supply. How do you intend to transport this between the two regions.

Lai Mohammed - Perfect question. You see, our transportation Minister, Rotimi Amaechi. He has plans to build a super mega rail track that will link 50 countries within 3 months. I'm sure he has this under control. Have you been to his state recently? Chai...if you see the rail project he did in that state. He perfected it so well that it became invisible.

Angel - Wow. He must be a miracle worker.

Lai Mohammed - Before nkor, i'm telling you that man is a superman.

Angel - I can get Gabriel to start working on the papers to make this a reality, and be rest assured we are ready to support you with £50billion to get things up and running. We only hope to get the money laid in good hands. Do you know of anyone we can trust?

Lai Mohammed - You are looking at the calendar, you are still asking what is today's date baba mi. My good hands are all yours. You can wire me the money. I will sort out the rest. You know I am an elderly man and people of my calibre and prestige would never lie to anyone. You can trust me.

Angel - Okay, noted.

Lai Mohammed - Olryt, howfar the bar. When alert go show?

Angel - Just a simple test of perseverance and the funds will hit your bank account shortly. Are you ready for this?

Lai Mohammed - My middle name is 'ready'. (rolls agbada up)

More after the cut...

Fief:
My dorm acct is Gtb
Will it fly 4 260
I need just $10 to keep my dorm acct active

I.m afraid thats the best rate I can give for that amount. You can mail me though - an angel may touch my heart after your email drops.

With the latest policy rolled out by the CBN in a bid to strengthen the naira, all cards denominated in the local currency will not be able to make foreign payments in 3 days time.

This would affect online businesses that rely on foreign merchants - web designers, hosting resellers and others.

The Regulatory bank has no intention to reverse this policy unless its able to boost the nation's foreign reserve from USD29 billion to USD50 billion - We all know this could take years as Buhari mentioned.

Our concern now is to get through this quagmire by every means necessary.

The available options for making foreign payment currently rests in the shoulder of a domiciliary account - a bank account denominated in dollars.

With a card linked to this domiciliary account, everyone can be happy again - Web designers can pay for their hosting and make domain purchases with no stress at all. Now the little issue which I'm here to help you solve is - the CBN had made another policy restricting the deposit of dollar over the counter - this implies that even with a domiciliary account, you cannot deposit the dollars you purchased from Ab0ki at N280 (black market rate).

The simple solution to this is to get someone who has some dollars to spare in their domiciliary account to do an online transfer to your account - If you need to confirm this, kindly call your bank or account officer today.

That said, should you intend to obtain dollars into your domiciliary account via online transfer at a rate much more lower than what the Bureau De Change operators and road-side Ab0kis are peddling, kindly send me an email - corperscorner@yahoo.com

Meet, Greet & Transact- Serious individuals only.

Fief:
Wats ur exchange rate?

I'll give you for 265.....what sayeth thou?

Thats some 15 lesser than the parallel market.

First Picture - Guards be feeling fly in their Superman Costume

Last Picture - The leg of that dude in brown jacket wants to run out of the picture

[size=15pt]Do You Need To Transfer Dollar Into Your Domiciliary Account?[/size]

With the latest policy rolled out by the CBN in a bid to strengthen the naira, all cards denominated in the local currency will not be able to make foreign payments in 3 days time.

This would affect online businesses that rely on foreign merchants - web designers, hosting resellers and others.

The Regulatory bank has no intention to reverse this policy unless its able to boost the nation's foreign reserve from USD29 billion to USD50 billion - We all know this could take years as Buhari mentioned.

Our concern now is to get through this quagmire by every means necessary.

The available options for making foreign payment currently rests in the shoulder of a domiciliary account - a bank account denominated in dollars.

With a card linked to this domiciliary account, everyone can be happy again - Web designers can pay for their hosting and make domain purchases with no stress at all. Now the little issue which I'm here to help you solve is - the CBN had made another policy restricting the deposit of dollar over the counter - this implies that even with a domiciliary account, you cannot deposit the dollars you purchased from Ab0ki at N280 (black market rate).

The simple solution to this is to get someone who has some dollars to spare in their domiciliary account to do an online transfer to your account - If you need to confirm this, kindly call your bank or account officer today.

That said, should you intend to obtain dollars into your domiciliary account via online transfer at a rate much more lower than what the Bureau De Change operators and road-side Ab0kis are peddling, kindly send me an email - corperscorner@yahoo.com

Meet, Greet & Transact- Serious individuals only.

With the latest policy rolled out by the CBN in a bid to strengthen the naira, all cards denominated in the local currency will not be able to make foreign payments in 3 days time.

This would affect online businesses that rely on foreign merchants - web designers, hosting resellers and others.

The Regulatory bank has no intention to reverse this policy unless its able to boost the nation's foreign reserve from USD29 billion to USD50 billion - We all know this could take years as Buhari mentioned.

Our concern now is to get through this quagmire by every means necessary.

The available options for making foreign payment currently rests in the shoulder of a domiciliary account - a bank account denominated in dollars.

With a card linked to this domiciliary account, everyone can be happy again - Web designers can pay for their hosting and make domain purchases with no stress at all. Now the little issue which I'm here to help you solve is - the CBN had made another policy restricting the deposit of dollar over the counter - this implies that even with a domiciliary account, you cannot deposit the dollars you purchased from Ab0ki at N280 (black market rate).

The simple solution to this is to get someone who has some dollars to spare in their domiciliary account to do an online transfer to your account - If you need to confirm this, kindly call your bank or account officer today.

That said, should you intend to obtain dollars into your domiciliary account via online transfer at a rate much more lower than what the Bureau De Change operators and road-side Ab0kis are peddling, kindly send me an email - corperscorner@yahoo.com

Meet, Greet & Transact- Serious individuals only.

With the latest policy rolled out by the CBN in a bid to strengthen the naira, all cards denominated in the local currency will not be able to make foreign payments in 3 days time.

This would affect online businesses that rely on foreign merchants - web designers, hosting resellers and others.

The Regulatory bank has no intention to reverse this policy unless its able to boost the nation's foreign reserve from USD29 billion to USD50 billion - We all know this could take years as Buhari mentioned.

Our concern now is to get through this quagmire by every means necessary.

The available options for making foreign payment currently rests in the shoulder of a domiciliary account - a bank account denominated in dollars.

With a card linked to this domiciliary account, everyone can be happy again - Web designers can pay for their hosting and make domain purchases with no stress at all. Now the little issue which I'm here to help you solve is - the CBN had made another policy restricting the deposit of dollar over the counter - this implies that even with a domiciliary account, you cannot deposit the dollars you purchased from Ab0ki at N280 (black market rate).

The simple solution to this is to get someone who has some dollars to spare in their domiciliary account to do an online transfer to your account - If you need to confirm this, kindly call your bank or account officer today.

That said, should you intend to obtain dollars into your domiciliary account via online transfer at a rate much more lower than what the Bureau De Change operators and road-side Ab0kis are peddling, kindly send me an email - corperscorner@yahoo.com

Meet, Greet & Transact- Serious individuals only.