₦airaland Forum

biaka1994:
Mtcheeewww

It will soon be your turn.....

Fellow nairalanders.....this is a serious situation. A couple of days back, I sent a PM to a babe on nairaland and after we got talking for a few days, I decided we could step things up by adding each other up on BlackBerry.

She shrugged but I pressurised her and she later succumbed. While we chatted on BlackBerry she never for once used her picture as DP and everytime I asked her to send me her pic....she's always coming up with stories like 'my memory card is faulty' or 'my battery is too low for a video chat'. So I decided paying her a visit would put an end to the fairy tales she keeps telling.

I asked where she resides and she said Abule Egba.....then I was like 'I intend to pay you a visit, what would you offer me when I come'. Then she said 'cum or come'....this sent shrills to my spine and I was like ''mehn dis babe is game'....then I hurriedly said 'cum' with a BlackBerry grin. She said 'eeeerm, I'll lick you like a lollipop and get you cranking all over again'.

At this point, I couldn't contain my excitement....it felt like horses were running wild in my tummy. I ransacked the house to get my all-time best condoms and did fixed 100 push ups in my morning routine till we met. Eventually, the fateful day came and I buzzed her around 8am, asking for the full address to her crib....she didn't read it....and I felt maybe she got busy or sumtin.....tried pinging her severally until around 5pm when I almost gave up.

Suddenly out of the blue she buzzed me back and said 'so sorry dear, sumtin came up and I might have to travel tomorrow morning, would you come now and spend the night cos i'm the only one at home ryt now?'. My frown immediately turned to a wide smile and stewpidly I said YES.

I started my journey to Abule Egba, ignoring my dog who started barking in an unusual way like it had never done before. That kinda bark you get when your dog wants you to stay and play with it for a longer period. I wouldn't let no dog mess up my ecstasy, so I left anyways. While in the bus, I envisaged several banging styles I'm gonna unleash on this nairalander and on finally getting to the address I was given, it was already dark.....around past 7....I didn't shrug cos I knew I was banging till day break.

Suddenly I began to get this creepy feeling while approaching the location she had described to me.....it was a lone road and my head started feeling funny. At this stage, I buzzed her on BlackBerry to meet me at the particular place I was and she insisted I kept walking....saying I'm almost there. I took a few steps forward and buzzed her again, saying i'v been attacked by a dog and I needed help....had to lie so she culd get her ass down to where I was.

She replied and said 'Ok'....then I waited. Seeing nobody around but my packet of condoms at this point, the running horses in my stomach began to fart and I started getting cold feets. She buzzed me and said 'Who are you lying to?'.....at this point, I knew sumtin was wrong.

I told her i'm not familiar with the area and she should come and get me ryt this minute. She replied with 'hmmmmm'.....all of a sudden, a strong breeze blew and my eye felt dazed for a minute....I erroneously gripped my fone tyter and hit the camera button by mistake. It threw a flash on an object and suddenly everything went calm.

I checked my BlackBerry to buzz her but realised I had been deleted already. At this stage, I ran like Usain Bolt would never dare and got the nearest bike to just keep driving me away from the place. Went straight home to meet my dog looking surprised at my sight. I went into my apartment to recount my ordeal, then my mind went to the camera flash....so I checked my picture folder to see the picture below:

Guys be warned......the times are cruel now. Get one gf and stick with her for good.

[size=15pt]Their shrine no thick reach our own for ogbomoso...kon see human skulls and roasted intestines......yummy[/size]

georgee:
I have 5yrs banking experience and currently working in a bank. Wanna change bank (I am a full staff ooo). Do i need this Job fair stuff?

They will reduce you to a contract staff and take 55% of your salary? Do you need this kinda stuff?

vecman22:
I think d both of you should stop this,dere is no point in all dis.. bt that ibotjaycob guy is a one kind guy

Op have mercy on d guy...

No wahala bruh.........I have forgiven the r3tard.

Would just ignore him cos its apparent his birth certificate was an apology to his parents from the condom factory.

ibotjaycob:
I see you are really trying not to make mistakes with your words, but that's child's play to me.. Have you seen that i haven't replied you with the adjectives you deserve? And it is Lunatics (its only one 'C' not 2)
Even while trying your best, your brain keeps failing you. Shame on you

No doubt you must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen. You don't come out in public insulting other people's family when your family tree is a cactus 'cause everybody on it is a prick.

No matter what you write as a response.........you can never outwit me cos if you were twice as smart, you'd still be a stewpid asswipe.

ibotjaycob:
Next time, you will think twice before opening threads like this, there will always be people who will put you in your place.

Dodging bullets only shows you ain't man enough...

You came charging like a bull....keep coming at me until I reduce you to a cornbeef. Miscreant.....the thread was never opened for lunaticccs like you.

ibotjaycob:
Lol, i know its hard for you to understand a simple sentence. Did your mum have sex with her brother to have you? thats the only explanation for how much of a m0ron you are. lool see this f00l

You are simply off point.....little wonder why you said nothing abt the comment you made to a nairalander....insinuating his father's brain is empty.

I'm sure you were deprived of parental care while growing...thats probably why old folks don't mean shyt to you. Someday, people are goin to walk across your grave to remember how highly ranked your stewpidity was when you were alive.

Peace bruh...

ibotjaycob:
Are your parents siblings? cos i don't get why u keep denying yourself the right to use your brain. You keep trying to say something meaningful...You have to do better.

now tell me where you saw the word 'sibling' in my context...

It feels disrespectful vibing with a blind r3tard like you. Fvck off my lane you bloody bastard.

ibotjaycob:
Keep talking, someday you`ll say something intelligent.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you`ve never used it.

don't chicken out busta....today is your birthday....leme feed you with your bullshyt....I can tell you are either in your 30's or early 40's.

You must be doing your kids proud by spreading negativity...

Lilshorecords:
the two of you. No fight na!

Leme deal with this f00L.....you can as well go tru his profile to check out his posts. He only insults nairalanders and never contributes to anytin positive....

chibyksveejay:
two peeps searching for cheap popularity

Lol....the nigga only needs to be educated. That's all....he needs to learn how to respect other people's space.

ibotjaycob:
Since your understanding level equals that of a child with learning disability, i will suggest you go through what you have written. i know you have learnt your lesson today. Hating does no good to you. If you desire to be someone in life, thats the number one attitude you have to change.

Leme educate you bloody bastard......

first of'....the post wasn't gonna be der for long....NL is a place to catch fun so people ryt stuff for the amusement. You wouldn't understand this cos you'v made no single contribution here for the past two years.....I doubt you've contributed to anything in your life though.

Secondly, when you come at a man and you leverage on his English, try as much as possible to ensure you have sumtin to back your fictitious claim. On me!!! you'v got nein asswipe...

I see the way you keep hitting at peeps, telling 'Em they've got a pops with an empty brain. No reasonable man does that....and for the fact that I'm approaching the extreme with you only means you've stepped on some big toes mehn. And those toes are goin be kicking your balls into your stomach for the next few minutes.

SUGARSON:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

OP U FUNNY DIE

WE ARE NOTHING BUT PENCIL IN THE HANDS OF THE CREATOR...

naso bruh

ibotjaycob:
I'm sure you are educated, is your spelling so bad that you can't spell out your words? You have a brain, you are supposed to use that. Or is it empty? like your father's?

ediot....dats what you are...

ibotjaycob:
Your mum and sisters are prostitutes doe not mean everyone's mum n sisters do the same bro.

goin tru ur activities here on NL....i found that which I quoted above.

Mehn....you such an animal for saying that to whoever the recipient was. It makes it evident that you were born to be a stewpid asswipe.....damn you bruh

ibotjaycob:
Let's play your childish game...since I see you're a fuc*ing idi0t! You wrote a piece bringing another man down for the purpose of what? Then you turn around and delete it. What does that make you? You stu*pid lowlife. You need to be educated to address me, keep embarrassing yourself ok? I have more for you.

Now that's the spirit of a bloody r3tard....so proud of you mehn.

What do you do for a living.....m so curious.

You come out to leverage what you have no bloody inkling about. Talking bout my English was your mistake dude. I still await the flaw you intend to pull out.

ibotjaycob:
If you need a job, send me a mail..Its there on my profile, you can't continue living your life this way.

what dyu gat? 50billion? you sick mehn

ibotjaycob:
M0ron, did you just delete your write up? Well, i knew you didn't type that with your brain. I guess it's empty, just like your poor father

nigga cray if you came here for some attitude....you just hit a lottery mehn..

you have no idea how wired up you are. You just amazingly stewpid I find it disrespectful to list you among stewpid people.....its gon be an insult to them.

ibotjaycob:
Don't be scared, there's no need to change the topic of your post.

if you were familiar with my trend. You'd know I don't keep demeaning articles long on my block.

The least you could have done was a due diligence before sprouting your shyt all over the place you dumbo...

ibotjaycob:
My prayer is that you don't pass your stu*pidity to your children. Even the ability to make a coherent sentence is hard for you. Congratulations on being the m0ron of the day.

why not pick the flaws in my English you r3tard3d son of a leper

ibotjaycob:
your brain is performing below standard, that's why you are there living an impoverished life, talking about someone who is trying to make a living for himself.

Give two good reasons why I shuldnt bliv u r skales...

h

ibotjaycob:
Skales is trying his best.. What are you doing with your life?

this ediot again.....

what are you doing with your own life? spamming posts on nairaland?

ibotjaycob:
It hurts right? Using your brain to think hurts you? that's the only explanation.

hehehehehe.....
Don't cry on me poohsie.....go jerk off at the station or smwhr

ibotjaycob:
42 views on your dum*b post..

And only a dumb mofo like you would notice

[size=25pt]After telling us to pay into your account. You must recruit[/size]

So I find it fun dragging out this awesome dude we know as ibotjaycob out today....not cos I want him to be famous, but because it's apparent he is either Skales or a close affiliate and an ardent fan.

The dude is fond of going about threads, bragging about all he's got and what he has achieved that no one else can't (according to his school of thought).

He has over done it this evening and i'm gonna be putting him in his place ryt' abt now.

Let's hope he keeps coming up with his BS...

[size=25pt]Resume At Your Own Risk[/size]

orogodoganyin:
the number of ppl wey generator fume don wipe off their brain ehn... op na number 1

it must hurt rili bad.....knowing u got disappointed
No poonie today.....come back tomorrow. Oniwokuwo