₦airaland Forum

Mjshexy:
My simple question is, was there any atom of courtship before jumping into this ship or both of you dumped that important class and went ahead with marriage just like that?

The men just mumu anyhow. The woman is obviously disgusted because e just too mumu. Simp man. She dey take am 4 granted

Jeon:
Abeg divorce, and let's breathe. Moreover they said "Marriage is no benefit to them,
They don't need love,
Women don't have anything to offer" , yet they will be clingy and asking for help once they see the wife no send their popsi.

Na weak man na. He doesn't want to cheat. Mumu man. Us wey no send the wife Abi marriage, no woman fit treat us like that

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

End the marriage. If you can't do that, get a side chick. No marriage councillor in this world can help you and no amount of talk can change things oga. Speaking from experience. Hotel na temporary solution. If you get money, rent an apartment or buy house close to your workplace. No go rent house for side chick Oo. I repeat . No rent for side chick. I was in the same situation and doing this gave me relief. Na she dey even find my attention now
Your weakness dey disgust d woman sef. Better go do DNA test 😂😂

My findings.

Dikegodspower:
50 % if not 80 are 8 igbos, God bless

I'm Igbo. But this thing you say is unnecessary. I go online and search. This is what I saw

This one dey find one mumu man wey go become her MAGA. For this Abuja? You're coming. No plan. No job. Nothing nothing. The only thing you're counting on na man and your kpekus. Continue

How much?

Akwaibom1stlady:
BRAND NEW 8KG fully automatic washing machine. With multiple functions. Old and Cold wash….. Energy Saving
260k
0706 853 0221.
Location of Item: Yaba
Dm for more pictures

Why you never leave? Abi you no leave again?

You no get sense. The man did this. The man did that. What did she do that made him.report her to the police? She damaged Abi she no damage? Follow her to the station na. Sheybi you dey the same house with them. Mugu

What's your budget for full finishing. Interior and exterior

spyder880:
Cost updates

Since the last time I showed updates of my spending in this building, I have done these;

Bought 45 bags of cement @N1570 (average)  N70,650
4 Trips of sand (some still visible in post nr 547  N24,000
paid block maker for 33 bags made @ N500  = N16,500
bought 500 blocks @ N100 = N50,000
paid bricklayers  N29,000
paid serving mason N9,600
bought iron rods (visible in post 547)  N1380 x 80 = N110,400
Transports/loading/offloading   N14,000
water  N3500
paid my engineer  N30,000
paid iron benders N23,000 (to bend and hang all the iron for upper pillars and lintels)
paid boys to carry 1200 blocks upstairs N5 X 1200 = N 6,000

(If I remember more, I will update again)

This total N386,650.00

The last total was N2,037,450.00

Add these two and we have a new total of N2,424,100.00

Take me to where you dey buy am. I need

DCGUY:
@all the Gurus; I hailooo!!!!! My ppl, here are some quotes that i received from a builder. Pls let me know what u think of it- I beg una.

1. Granite-3 trips @N150 each=N450k
2. Filling Sand-20 trips @N25k each=N500k
3.Sharp Sand-30 trips@ N15k each=N450k
4.Cement-400 bags @ N2000 each=N800k
5.Wood 12x12-400pc @N750 each=N300k
6.wood 200@ N250 each=N50k
7.Iron 16mm-3tons @N120k each=N360k
8.Iron 12mm-1 ton @=N120k
9. Iron 10mm 1 1/2 @ N126 each=N189k
Material total=N3,219.000
10. Labour=N1.5m

Grand total=N4,719,000

I beg make una help me put mouth for this quote. Its for Raft foundation and German floor of a six bedrm duplex.

Wow. I need some

wolesamson:
@Spyder880,

Pls can you give me a breakdown estimate on how much will cost me to mould 6000 of 9 inches block for a 3 plots of land (60 by 120) for fencing? the cost of sand suitable for this project and how many tonns plus how many cement can be enough for the project.

Also, i will like to know how much of cement plus sand will be enough for building the fence after the block making. Av got a client who offered me the below;

BLOCK ESTIMATE
S/N MATERIALS PRICEPER ONE (#) QUANTITY AMOUNT (#)
1 20 TRNS OF SAND 75,000 5 375,000
2 CEMENT 1,900 + TRANSPORT 125 237,500
3 BLK MOULDER’S WKMSHIP 600 125 75,000
5 WATER FETCHER/DRUM 3BAG/DRUM 600 25,200
6 MISCELLANOUS 5,000
7 TOTAL TOTAL TOTAL #717,700


ROUGH ESTIMATE FOR THE FENCE CONSTRUCTION

S/N MATERIALS PRICE PER ONE QUANTITY AMOUNT
1 SAND 75,000 2 150,000
2 CEMENT 1,900 + TRAN 80 BAGS 152,000
3 GRAVEL 70,000 1 OF 20 TRNS 70,000
4 BRICKLAYER’S WORKMANSHIP FOR THE FENCE 320,000
5 TOTAL TOTAL TOTAL #692,000

COST OF THE BLOCK = #717,700
COST OF FENCE ERECTION = #692,000
MISCELLANOUS = #20,000
TOTAL = 1,429,700
Approximately= 1,500,000. (1.5 MILLION NAIRA)
PERSONAL CHARGES FOR THE WORK= #100,000.
TOTAL = #1.6 MILLION NAIRA.


pls help me to check if this is a good price.

thanks,

How soon can you deliver?

Jennyclay:
As matter of fact 95% of women want to leave their marriages.
Things are really happening in marriage/relationships that i just don’t want to say it out. What Nigerian men are using our eyes to see. eh! hmmmm!

All what men want is sex!! After sex, they treat you like trash! Some men would even beat and rape their wife and tell her to her face that there’s nothing like rape in marriage. . Bunch of sickos!!

The honest truth is, there’s nothing a man can bring to my life that I can’t get myself. I enjoy my own company and I don’t feel the need or want to get married. I don’t think it will add anything to my life at all.

I got out of two long term back-to-back abusive relationships in 2020 and have pretty much sworn off men. I don’t need a man to make me happy and I will continue to hate men!

Happy for the men that dumped you 😂😂😂

Jeon:
So you expect a woman to die in a Marriage filled with problems?.

Better they leave make their husbands have peace

DrAda:
Me thinks the figure is close to 98%

it's better they leave with their wide worn out toto so their husbands can have peace and taste fresh kpekus

okomile:
What can I say?

We shall have d strength to keep moving on to stay in an unhappy marriage.

Wish I left years ago but stuck

I take everyday as my happy day

Please leave. make the man have peace.

fineboynl:
What is the cost to convert a v6 and a 4 cylinder?

The stuff is dangerous. Explosion explosion the Xplosion.

GAZZUZZ:
You should read more

Mugu

mariahAngel:
She's cheating and she had the mind to call YOUR dad? Something does not add up.

Also, why would you think (there's even a chance) your dad will believe her words over yours, if you're so sure she cheated? (As you stated "I have no idea what she's told them" )

You are stupid like your other gender

bomis2014:
Leather seat
Low Maliage
Keyless
price 7.2M
Accident free
Phone 08034753847
Serious buyer only!

Change your weed supplier. E don dey ment your brain

ozalogbo:
The rule stated earlier that the marriage is between the man and his wife, not between the man, his wife and his mother is a compelling reason for me to take a clear position. It is not about revenge. We can not change the rule now. Clearly.

Have your mother's spirit started tormenting you?

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Update? You this mugu husband

Fountainofyouth:
How painful.....sorry.

Next time, create a thread and share your story so that we can sympathise with you. And tell your friends to boldly report to a police station to report their sexual harassment experience, then men should aggressively start an awareness and campaign with support from NGO's so that people can be aware that men can also be a victim because it is mainly you guys that down play yourselves when it comes to sex that's why no one takes you serious. Reason why people focus on females is because we are mostly the victim.

The way police go use person laugh ehn. Some men go even say they want to be harassed too. Yes women are most victims. If any man harass my sister I go cut him preeek

I fit cut d woman wey harass me bwess too?

Samantha124:
Well, since you've already concluded that I'm an illiterate, then I think it's best I keep my illiterate opinion to myself.

Have a good day...

Dumbboo You don't have anything to say. It's both side

nathdim:
What about women who intentionally rub their tities on a guys arms or shoulders inside a bus how do we classified them

E don happen many times. girls go wan hold dick. Rub hands on your tight. Try hug or press bres on you or rub ur chest and many ways

Fountainofyouth:
Yes most ladies have been sexually harassed. That's how extremely stupid some men can be.

Have been harassed by women on 3 occasions. I know many men have been harassed too but nobody go take them serious and someen dey like am so nobody dey talk. Sexual harassment no good at all

Jeon:
No room for after 1 or 2 dad.

Leave am. He doesn't know women are problems in men lives.

Saying you need a woman is like saying you need a problem

Yourbest:
Leather seat
Push to start
Low actual mileage
Rear vent
Rear Sunshade
Blasting JBL sound system
Chilling Dual zone Air conditioner

Price: 5,000,000 (NEG)

Benin City

Call/Whatsapp: 07055585799

You don ment. You dey put 5m on Yahoo boy Muscle? Better ask the owner how much he buy am. Ozuor

Handsomejok:
I had done everything for the marriage to work but all my effort were in vain because my wife refused to amend which she had made it clear to me that after our first separation she did came back to me because she had nowhere to stay with the children and I keep having reccuring dreams of her wanting me dead since she is not ready to work on the marriage and I had decided to put an end to the marriage for the sake of our children I will not send her packing neither will I take custody of the children I will let her and the children to stay in the rented house and I will move out of the house and I will be sending upkeep money 15k every month I hope I had made a good decision for my own sanity ?

Didn't read your post but Congratulations bra. Marriage is death sentence for men. Is like bringing problems into your life

porthouse7:
Made of yesterday sef wan marry, he never reach 23yrs, why the rush though

Make she become evening news paper like you

Stanislause94:
why bringing hate within Same region here?

You people started it with your stupid pride. And Enugu can never be same with gutter Anambra