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Glad you considered me worthy of mention alongside other great writers of the Nairaland literature section.

Nice work dear....keep posting.

Comments will definitely come.

Chioma later became pregnant again and delivered a set of twins, a boy and a girl.
Her husband though happy for her safe delivery, pondered on how the six children will be taken care of. He then decided to augment his income by combining a night security work with that of his Mason work.
The first son through with primary schools, got enrolled into the government secondary schools.
Chioma has now assumed the duty of a full time house wife with no financial input to the family.
John instead of observing the traditional 30 minutes break at the cite, opted to work for overtime as if he's in Dubai.
All this are mere strategies of how to improve the financial status of the family.
Unfortunately, Ugo the first son got exposed and integrated with bad elements in the school.
On several occasions he returned home with machete cuts on his head.

John pleaded with him to steer clear from bad elements so as not to bring the family into disrepute. At this point John is no longer appealing to her wife Chioma so she started cheating on him.
When a woman cheats on her husband, automatically the respect and reservations are gone. John at the other hand has set his priorities on giving all his children good education and ensure they do not lack the basic things of life.

One fateful afternoon, he was at a building cite busy mixing cement and sand when his son's school principal came. "Mr John your son has killed a fellow student" said the principal.
He quickly washed off the dirt on his body and followed the principal to the school.
On getting to the school, they were told that his son has been arrested by the police so they proceeded to the police station.

While John and the doctor were in the office discussing, the nurse from the inner room started shouting and calling for the doctor's attention.
Few minutes later the doctor came into the office to meet John.
"Congratulations Mr John, she has delivered a bouncing baby boy" said the doctor
Mr John became excited and at same time mindful of his celebration style.
That seemed to open the floodgate of blessings as the wife became pregnant few years later.
This time, she delivered a set of triplet, two baby boys and a baby girl.
John couldn't hide his excitement as his dream of being a nice father to his kids gets rejuvenated.

John now with a large family increased the tempo of work at his place. Financial responsibilities have sharply increased owing to the arrival of the kids. Wife is so busy with the kids so she stays at home to look after them.
As the kids got enrolled into school, John reduced his meal consumption from three square meal to two.
He shuddered all the financial burden of the family. A man that usually retires to the bar after the day work now goes straight to the house from the shop. Things started being difficult once again.
John contemplated quitting the vulcanising work to look for another work with a more steady income. This was how he ventured into Mason work and sold off his vulcanising tools.

The other side of fatherhood is already taking it's toll on Mr John. The man that usually appear well dressed in the public no longer has time to take care of himself.
His first son named Ugo is now six years old while the triplet named Munachi, Uche, and Chidimma respectively were four years.
John has decided to call it over and shut the door on further child bearing but the wife wasn't comfortable with the arrangement.

In fact she started accusing John of planning to marry another wife when he told her his decision on further child bearing.
John after the day's stressful and rigorous Mason works rarely has the strength to carry out his conjugal duties at night.
The wife didn't fail to voice out his displeasure in his husband's lackadaisical records in the bedroom.
John aged and 'depreciated' very faster. A rigorous work at the building cite and a troublesome wife at home.

John and his wife got admitted into the hospital. When he regained consciousness, he was told of how his wife lost her baby.
John made to return back to coma to no avail. He wished he proceeded with his initial plan of committing suicide.
As he was on the hospital bed soliloquizing, Chioma his wife woke up to discover some congealed blood particles on her body.
As a woman, she realized the baby has been lost to miscarriage.
Mr and Mrs John held each other's hand and wept. Few days later, they both got discharged from the hospital.
There was no money to pay back the loan he collected so as to retrieve his Engine so he became temporarily jobless.
Chioma his wife can no longer endure the marriage and she made it clear to him categorically.

After some weeks of idleness, succour came the way for John as his friend offered to pay back the loan on his behalf. As if that was a moment of breakthrough, his wife started vomiting whitish substances at the backyard.
She's pregnant again and John became cautious of the way he celebrated so as to avoid a repetition of what transpired at the hospital.

Nine months later, the wife went for the routine antenatal checks. She usually goes and return alone but a different scenario played out this time around.
John waited for his wife to return home to no avail. She dialled her telephone number and it rang without anyone answering.
As he was contemplating going to the hospital himself, his phone rang : Mr John come to the hospital immediately, said the voice over the phone.

John became pessimistic immediately. He started asking God his offence as he trekked to the hospital. At the hospital, his wife was nowhere to be found.
He rushed to the doctor's office and inquired his wife's whereabouts.
"Calm down Mr John" said the doctor as he began to ask him some questions.
"Is your wife having spiritual problems. How often does she scream while sleeping, When last did you make love to her" doctor asked repeatedly.
As the doctor was busy throwing series of question at Mr John, tears were rolling down his eyes uncontrollably.

Divepen1
Obinnau
The world cup has ended.
Come and take this to the promise land ASAP

John was on his way to a chosen tree where he will end his life when a voice echoed "John come oo your wife is in danger".
He immediately stopped and retreated back to his compound. Not sure of his ability to defend the purpose of a rope in his hand, he threw it away before stepping into the compound.
In the compound was his wife's outstretched figure laying almost lifeless on the ground.
He ran out and sought for an Okada to convey her to the hospital. While he was away searching for an Okada rider, his wife regained consciousness but still felt dizzy.
John on returning with a bike man insisted his wife be taken to hospital to ascertain the cause of her illness.
At the hospital, the nurse requested they register with the hospital to be qualified to see the doctor.
The registration costs #1,500 while diagnosis is #5000. John had no money on him so he pleaded with them to treat his wife while he looks for the money.
His pleading fell on deaf ears as the mean nurse obviously acting on instructions declined to manipulate on her duties.

John then ran out and proceeded to friends place in search of money.
All the places he went, the response remained the same: " for this Buhari government person go lend person money".
John then decided to use his vulcanising machine as collateral and borrowed #10,000 from a money lending cooperative society.
Back to the hospital, his wife after being diagnosed resulted that she was pregnant.
When the doctor broke the good news to John, he went into frenzy and started jumping up right in the office.
On the course of jumping up in ecstasy, he hit his head against the blades of the ceiling fan that were rotating at a high speed.
John immediately fainted as blood gushed out of the deep cut inflicted by the blades at his forehead.
His wife on hearing of the latest development fell down and blood gushed out in between her legs. Miscarriage has taken place!

Continuation....

BuariCopyPaste:
It's about to go down.......
Good work guy.
Keep it up

Thanks.... welcome back from Russia

Chioma, John's fiancée has already started the preparation for his traditional marriage.
As if he's fast drifting into menopause, John said to his fiancée "we have to be fast with our preparation because age is no longer on my side"
The event came and gone and both became properly married. John told his wife without mincing words that they have to start making babies immediately so as to be able to keep his father's lineage.
Like it's a Gulder ultimate search, it was an all night activities geared towards baby making.
Few years passed, there was no sign of pregnancy. John became unsettled for many things were at stake. He started visiting any mentioned prayer house and the herbalist homes.
The searching became so intense to the extent that John hardly stays in his workshop. Even when he's in the workshop, he's either chewing some leaves prescribed by the herbalist like a ruminating goat or reading the Bible.
He took the the responsibility of their childlessness because of what transpired between him and his former fiancée.

There was a day he visited one fiery prayer warrior for deliverance. After many sessions of fierce speaking in tongues amidst heavy sweating, he told John that his problem is a certain tree at the back of their house.
John upon getting home, wasted no time in felling the tree and thereafter summoned his wife to the bedroom.

Days, weeks and months passed yet no good news. John became frustrated to the point of committing suicide. At this point the wife had already started threatening him with divorce over his 'impotency'.
John resigned to fate and accepted the tag of an impotent man. He pictured his dream of being a nice father to his kids crashing before him.
He became withdrawn from the society once again in order to beat the imagined stigmatization.
Years passed and the story remained the same for Mr and Mrs John. Amidst relentless taunts from his own wife, John decided to take his life.
He reached to the Pen at the backyard and loosed the rope used to tie a goat to a tree.

Acrimmortalgold , Pablo95 Evangelodoyi tyeenigga obinnau Divepen1
make una come chop kola nut

When the lady spilled out what transpired between her and her former boyfriend, John temporarily went into a state of coma.
When he regained consciousness, he made to charge on his unofficial wife but saw no moral justification to back up his action.
Your girlfriend isn't yours neither is your boyfriend. Both parties are more like free transfer footballers that are out of contract and it automatically makes them open to the highest bidders.

John eschewed sentiments and became speechless and motionless. "So I have been firing blank all this while or does it mean my efforts were only hitting the woodwork and ricocheting" he said as he soliloquize.
John has labored in vain. His efforts in the bedroom were all in vain. The pap and other nutritious foods he built his diet on in order to make a healthy baby are all in vain.
His efforts towards endearing himself to the hearts of his would-be in-laws are now in vain.

He looked at the baby and saw no striking resemblance. At this juncture, it dawned on him that he has been scammed. He accepted his fate and pushed the mother and baby out of his house. As they left, he shut the door with a thunderous bang and wept.
What makes a man to shed tears will definitely make a woman to commit suicide.
John picked up the pieces of his broken heart and surged on with life.

This time he decided to withdraw from the society and focus on his work so as to afford him the room to save enough money to properly marry a wife.
In no distant time he saved enough money sufficient enough for a modest marriage ceremony and then started searching for a wife.
He then concentrated rendering service to the women irrespective of who's next on the queue of customers waiting to either patch or pump airs into their deflated tyres.
His effort yielded as he was able to strike a conversation with a female customer. They immediately started dating and John wasted no time in telling her of his marriage intentions.

John, a middle aged man is the only surviving son in a family of seven. John after several stints at the city, relocated back to the village and ventured into 'fucknizer' (vulcanising) work.
When he realized that age wasn't on his side anymore, he made to settle down but got dissuaded by the high cost of marriage ceremonies.
In a bid to cut corners, he started dating a lady with the intent of making babies with her without properly marrying her.
During the course of the dating, the lady became pregnant and John was overwhelmed with joy.
So as to cement his place in his prospective in-laws family, he started frequenting their house for the purpose of acquaintance.

In order not to be taken unawares, he started saving for pre and post natal events.
This time, tyres that John usually patches at the rate of #50 got increased to #80 without any form of explanations to the customers, yet he will decline giving you your balance when needed.

John deployed several tactics of doubling his meager income so as to be able to provide for the mother and baby. When the lady eventually gave birth, John became more joyous as the lady gave birth to a baby boy.
Her mother came for the traditional Omugwo and stayed with them for few months.
While all this happened, the lady knew the baby wasn't that of John but her former boyfriend.
She actually went to inform her then boyfriend of her plans of getting married and the boyfriend demanded for a 'send off' gift on the bed.
She has been contemplating on how to break the sad news to John.
John at the other was doing everything possible to impress his unofficial in-law. On several occasions, he helped them out in farm works and other jobs.
When the lady couldn't hide it any longer, she opened up to John and asked for forgiveness.

Sainigeri , Buaricopypaste, Alcmene, chommiblack, xaviercasmir, avatarmode sabbiboi , akpota, lovruemu

make una come take front seat

Though an old member of the forum, I'm a new guy in this section.

My first thread here THE DIVORCÉ WOMAN was a success and sincerely speaking, it encouraged me to come up with yet another one.

NOTE: the DIVORCÉ WOMAN was more of a comedy unlike this.
Hope you guys enjoy the piece.

SaiNigeria:
We dey wait for another story

Lol...coming up with another tonight

My third day in the city was a Saturday and I decided to visit my friend's shop in a bid of further exploring the city.
I quickly dressed up, went downstairs and flagged down a keke but the two occupants were young females clad in long hijab so I quickly waved at the rider to go.
The second one I flagged down had three male passengers with black spots on their forehead and I again waved at the rider to go.
Fortunately, the third was empty so I negotiated for a charter service.
Where I was dropped is just a five minutes walk to the plaza I was going but it took me over 30 minutes to get there.
While I walked, I was suspicious of any young female on hijab and I diverted or turned back on sighting any.

The next day was a Sunday and my friend asked me to prepare so we go to church. Immediately he said it, I remembered the Madalla church bomb blast and replied him "me go to church in Hausa land?, please I want to go home with my body parts intact"
He laughed and after much persuasion, I accepted and prepared.
On getting to the street leading to church, there was a barricade that barred vehicular movement in to the church premises. Upon inquiry, I was told it's to forestall the activities of suicide bombers and I immediately started fidgeting.
Was walking majestically but inside of me was a man dying of fear.

On getting to the church entrance, I looked up only to behold a machine gun pointed towards my direction like I was a suspect. I immediately dodged like I was dodging a bullet and made to run. I almost caused a scene as the fierce looking military man manning the Kalashnikov riffle ordered that I should be thoroughly searched.

On getting inside the church, I was panting like a lizard that fell from the tree and had my eyes fixed on the fence in case the bombers decide to scale the perimeter fence. In a short while, the mass started and I moved my sight and concentration from the perimeter fence to the alter.

As a former mass server in the Roman Catholic church, I was expecting the sight of the priest, MC, ist acolyte, 2nd acolyte, 3rd acolyte, Thurible bearer, bat bearer etc but I saw none.
On closer observation, some ladies were putting on trousers, little girls were among the mass servers, ladies and some men clad in vestments of the mass servers were seen dishing out holy communion to people and I asked my friend "are you sure this is a Catholic church?"
While I waited to hear the traditional Igbo 'nabanu na misa agwusigo' , I heard nothing. The mass was conducted in English language and I couldn't comprehend most of the proceedings.
TO BE CONTINUED

cc sainigeria

cc Alcmene

tyeenigga:
I love the story pls we need more, a must read for all intending divorcee

Oliver twist...lol

SPDAZZY:
LOL, crook!

Before nko...you want us to share it equal?

My friend visited me a week later to inform that his sister's husband has accepted to take her back after the family completed the fasting and prayer.
We rejoiced and he disclosed to me the plans put in place to formerly 'cleanse' her sister and get her back to her husband's house.
The day of the occasion came and we were handed the job of buying the palm wine drink for the occasion.
So I left, together with Mkpokoro to the palm wine market.
"Come and check this one" said a man on slippers made of Engine fan belt as he used his left hand to chase flies from the gallon.
I made to price the palm wine only to see some men 'drinking' from the same gallon in turn.
We later bought after much hesitation as a result of the 'testing' method.
Back home, we were again given the duty of killing the goat that has been tied to a tree.

The goat on sighting our sharpened knife and probably sensing danger began to bleat on top of it's voice. The bleating and indirect plea touched me and I said to my friend.
"Guy I'm no longer interested in sniffing life out of this goat. The blood of this innocent goat shall not be on my head"
Mkpokoro with a hardened heart like the Egyptian Pharaoh replied "let its blood, intestines, head and laps be on my head and stomach" The goat's plea and bleating fell on deaf ears as my friend slit the throat without remorse. The next thing I saw was the goat shining its dirty teeth on fire.
At the backyard were women cooking and testing the soup endlessly.
Soon the foods and meat were ready and everyone served. The kindred were seated at the front yard together with the in-laws.

After the traditional rites were observed, the in-laws made to leave with their unofficial new wife. Mkpokoro's sister emerged from the backyard looking remorseful and embraced her equally unofficial husband.
Her mother came forward, shedding tears and grabbed her daughter as she knelt down.
"You're no longer a divorcé woman. The rest of my daughter will learn from this; I wish your father was alive to save us from this embarrassment" her mother said amidst tears from mother and daughter under the public watch.
Tears started rolling down the eyes of onlookers. The husband came forward, embraced his wife and said " I've forgiven you, come and take care of your home".
She then bid farewell to everyone and left with her in-laws as her family and well wishers sobbed.

STORY ENDS.....

SaiNigeria:
I admire your writing skills

Daalu

"Oga whats your business with Gladys let me know how to save you because I can't guarantee the safety of your teeth with the type of blow your wife is moulding" I asked the man.
I then pleaded with the wife " madam if you must hold him, please hold his tongue or ears because that place you're holding him is ungodly and may result to a deformed baby"
Fortunately the wife removed her hands from the man's troubled spot and cleaned her palms on the ground.
"Gladys is only my customer" said the husband.
"Bia this man will you tell us in details or I should tell your wife to return her hands from where they are coming from" I threatened.
Almost in tears the man said "Ugo, I've been a good neighbor to you;even my goats refrain from destroying your crops"

"Yes you have been good to me including your animals, but tell us what you're doing with Gladys that made your wife wanting to send you to your early grave" I replied
"Please tell my wife to straighten her palm because she's still moulding a blow and may land it on my chin if I explain further" he pleaded. I then pleaded with the wife and she straightened her palm and appeared less pugnacious.
"Gladys is my ex girlfriend, I went to her when my wife decided not to sleep in our bedroom" he said.
"So because your wife decided not to sleep in the bedroom, you decided to cheat on her" I queried him.
"You will not understand, it goes beyond sleeping in the bedroom" he submitted
"I think I should leave you guys to continue with your affairs" I said and made to leave.

"Please don't go, this woman will kill me with her bare hands" the man pleaded.
I then pleaded with the wife forgive her husband since he has quit the Gladys of a woman.
To the man, I told him to avoid Gladys at all cost else, I will not be around to save him from his wife's thunderous blows.
As I left, I saw the woman lift the man from the ground and I whispered to the woman "please sleep in the bedroom this time for I'm tired of mediating on issues of friends and neighbors"

As I left my friend's place, I was surprised on what came out of my mouth. "So good thing can actually come from Jerusalem" I murmured as I trekked home.
At home and resting on top of my late father's CG125 motorcycle, noises began to emanate from our neighbor's compound. What really made it strange and unusual was the fact that it was the man's voice that was heard soliciting for help. "Its like I will just leave this village" I said and reluctantly went to know what's the problem. What I saw was incredible and unbelievable. My neighbor's wife was verbally and physically assaulting his husband.
Not that she was only assaulting him but held onto his 'manhood' as she swung the man like she was throwing dirt's into the public refuse bin.
"Haba madam do you want to kill your husband" I shouted and made to pull her hand from the man's 'manhood'.
"If you detach it from his waist, where else do you expect him to pass out urine from even if you no longer need the service of the black object" I continued.
"I told my father not to marry this woman for me but he refused" said the husband on the ground. "If you don't shut up now, I will leave you for your wife to handle you properly" I lashed out at the man as his outstretched figure laid on the ground like a bale of Okrika

"He must tell me his business with Gladys before I leave him" the woman said while still holding the man at a very bad juncture.
"Madam this thing you're holding tightly has no bone and can be easily cut, please leave him let's hear him out" I pleaded.
"What's use is this to me when he can't go more than one round" the woman thundered.
"Wait, do you guys have a boxing ring in the house where you slug it out for as many rounds as you want or...I don't understand" I interrupted.
"How can my father marry a woman that is 3 times my size. Now see how she defeats me in everything" the man said this time sounding sorrowful.

update coming shortly

Born2Breed:
The main character here sounds like Nkem Owoh aka Ukwa.
I've not had a good laugh reading for a long time.
You are a genius and your parables,i swear you be Methuselah.
Keep it up!

Daalu nne...thanks

akpota:
Happy New Month bros. I truly enjoy your writing style. Comedy story. Please abeg update the story.
please drop your whatsapp digit sir.

Happy new month you too bro...07065084399

"Why did you decide to run away from that shop like that na?" Mkpokoro asked.
"So you never hear that voom ka mma karia statement" I replied.
"Besides accidental discharge may occur and I wouldn't like to die from a bullet wound" I explained further.
I then told him that its high time they reach out to her sister's 'original' husband for forgiveness and reunion for we can't continue to be running like we are preparing for the summer Olympics.
He promised that he will discuss it with his family when we get home.
The next day I went to his house to know the extent they have gone with the discussion. I decided not to knock on the gate to avoid a repetition of the disgraceful run.

For the first time ever, my friend's mother welcomed me with cheers.
"You're more or less a member of this family, please advise us on the best way to approach this case" the mother said.
She continued "since my husband died, we have been making many unpopular decisions as a result of lack of a male figure to guide us"
"My husband's relatives have all abandoned us to our fate; my family has gone astray"
At this point, the woman has started sobbing and I almost joined but remembered I'm a man and held back tears.
"Mama what's your daughter's position on the issue; is she willing to apologize to her husband and return to his home? I asked.
"My son, she has no option and the family's agreement is for her to reunite with him and we have decided to approach my husband's relatives to accompany us to her husband's house for apology" she replied.

"Mama, it's the duty of your daughter to make the first move and not that of your husband's relatives" I told her
"You women have this uncanny way of making the strongest heart melt like an ice. Your daughter should approach him privately and should continue doing until he gives her audience because the man will possibly snub her at the initial stage" I said at the admiration of the woman.
Continuing, I said"we also need to back up this program with prayers and fasting to avoid the enemies spoiling the whole thing. Mama you people should fast from 6am-3pm and do midnight prayers for seven days while I fast from 6am-9am"
Mkpokoro's mother thanked me so much and asked her daughter to give me food. It was Akpu and egwusi soup and I enjoyed it.
"Lower your voices while praying in the midnight to avoid attracting the Neighborhood watch security" I told them as I made to leave.

hollawuyi2013:
Send the remaining story ooooooooooooooo + ur account details mak I do something.

updated

At Chukero's shop, I majestically disintegrated the pork(genital areas) at the dismay of onlookers and my friend Mpokoro.
Which other way can I exact vengeance on the mystic Pig if not to further debase the already debased pork. While other meats were neatly put in the show glass, the pork was left open on a flat basket at the mercy of dust and flies.
"Ugo advise me on what to do concerning my sister and her criminal husband" my friend said.
"Nnaa, I'm your special adviser on civil matters not criminal and military matters" .
"Is it because I harboured you inside our drum and hid under the bed the other day, you think I will share the consequences with you" I asked.
As we were discussing, a police hilux van stopped and parked in front of the shop we were seated.
My friend made to run but I stopped him and told him to be calm that police is our friend after all.

As the policeman walked in to the shop, we looked elsewhere and remained speechless.
"Hey give me #50 hot drink; shake the bottle well well" said the policeman to the seller.
He sat in opposing position, removed his cap and placed it on his knee, brought out a snuff from his pocket and began conveying the contents in to the nostrils.
"This is a wicked combination and the transmitting transfusion the IG talked about" I murmured as he vibrated upon sipping the hot drink after depositing a large quantity of snuff in to his dark and hairy nostrils.
"Young men this one you guys are speechless, I hope you're not harbouring Indian hemps in your pocket" the policeman told us.
"Ah oga check my pocket, it's only #25 balance from the sugar I bought for my mother I have there" I echoed and made to leave.
"Na me dey pursue una?" Asked the policeman.
"Nooo, we have maximum respect for the police so it's an act of disrespect for us to seat and watch you enjoy your money in pains" I replied

"And who told you I'm in pains" he interrupted
"Its your facial expression sir" I replied.
"Ah kids, that's an ecstatic feeling associated with snuff" he retorted.
"But the face I saw is more like that of a he-goat held by the testicles in preparation for castration" I submitted
Sounding enraged, the policeman thundered "what nonsense are you talking about?"
Sensing danger and already in fear, I told my friend that we better get out of this place.
I quickly doled out a mild slap on my friend and took to my heels.
Fortunately, mkpokoro understood and ran after me.

Continuation..... sorry about the slow update

hollawuyi2013:
You never still copy & paste this remaining sweet story?

Why don't you copy and paste it here since the source I'm copying from