₦airaland Forum

BEFORE THE EXAMS

1. GO TO YOUR CENTER EARLY; if your center is MCF (MICHAEL AND CECELIA FOUNDATION) Ibru Village, Agbarha Otor, Ughelli, then you betterbe early. last year,they started examinations between 7am -7.30am. NOT ALL CENTRES ALLOW AFRICAN TIME. I know over 6 people who went there by 9am and wasn't allowed into the hall because their friends in other centers told them they started by 9.30.

2. Carry enough money to buy refreshment. You don't want to be stranded and you will definitely be exhausted after the exams. Forget your phone at home. you wont be allowed to take it into the hall.

3. Make photocopy of your jamb slip as you will submit the original.

4. Please do not skip accreditation. if you skip, YOUR WONT BE ABLE TO LOGIN and start the exams.

INSIDE THE HALL

4. YOU will be given calculators and papers to solve as rough sheet, math set,pencils etc. if you are caught with external materials the JAMB ADMINISTRATOR will end your exams immediately. Where I worked, there are usually NSCDC officials on ground to deal with culprits. if you have any problems simply raise up your hands.

5. if you don't know how to use a computer system please no shame. just ask the administrator(they will be putting on a jamb branded t shirt) to tell you how to click answers, select subjects, question number and how to submit.

6. Except you are told, don't login. Immediately you log in and start exam ahead of others before you are permitted, your time countdown will start and you will be made to wait for others.

7. if you are having login errors alert the PROCTOR, INVIGILATOR, or JAMB ADMINISTRATOR. They will help you.

8. if the papers appearing on the screen are different from what you have on your printout, please inform the ADMINISTRATOR immediately.

if your reprint contains different subject from your first slip you have to go to the hall with both slips. the first one containing the papers you originally filled and the reprint.when the exams start, call the administrators and tell them. the jamb administrators will change it from economics to government. I have seen them do it before.

9. The PAPERS you are offering are usually in a tab. The question numbers are usually at the bottom of the screen. When you click an answer, it displays a "save" message. you can change your answers by clicking another answer. If your system does not display "save" message after you click your answer, inform the proctor Do not click "END TEST" or "SUBMIT" unless you are done with the exams.

10. Don't impersonate. Don't register twice. If you do, they will eventually catch you. I don't have to tell you how. CLASSIFIED SECURITY INFO.

11. Do not press the Enter key till you are done. Always remember to submit and end test when you are done.

BenBruce4Presdt:
Why are you being mischievous, these guys were always friends throughout and for oneday they never quarrel, but even if they did.. It was never public.. .

Sveen:
Whenever you end a statement with question-mark(?) or full-stop[.], you are expected to begin the word that follows with a capital letter.

I know Valentine is so overrated in this country. so also relationships. ----->This statement is wrong.

I know that Valentine is so overrated in this country, so are relationships.

Stealthideals24:
They are mere spats between writers, which Soyinka once referred to as "friendly fire".

BenBruce4Presdt:
Why are you being mischievous, these guys were always friends throughout and for oneday they never quarrel, but even if they did.. It was never public.. .

Modenzy:
I can never forget this set of ladies. I have dated ballonies of ladies but my experiences with these ladies will stitch to my memory till I (quench).
Without taking much sentences, i wil quickly list them below:
1. RECHARGE CARD: I use to tag her as my recharge card because she always like to send me recharge card. To be candid "mtn share & sell. Whenever am in need of airtime, she will be the next thing on my mind...
2. THE COOK: chai, i can never forge .........(name withheld) she knows how to cook more than her mother (not my mother). She is a Delta girl, she taught me how to eat starch-soup. Each time i got hungry she is the next thing that comes my mind..
3. WEDDING PLANNER: Oh my God, whenever we're together, what she likes discussing about is our wedding, how to print our invitation card, the kind of wedding she's going to wear, our matrimonial car, bed blah blah blah etc. I will just be hearing her (not listening). I will just smile but for my mind "don't you know the economy situation?"
4. Miss FASHION: I cant forget you oo, hmmmmm, she likes fashion, she knows how to combine colours. In the area, every guy talks about how she dresses. I thank God for her, she used to buy me shoes, clothes. Infact, she also helped to increase my swaggs. But the problem I have with her is that she is not intelligent, does'nt know how to sum up 2+2. Imagine when i ever asked her the capital of Nigeria, she replied me confidently and said IKEJA..
5. BED-MATICIAN: Chai, hmmmm, she top the list. I used to tag her as my comforter: she sabi the thing: she's the only one that use to remind me of my KONJI, her backstence is good and her breast-tense is better. I know some will say " MODENZY don spoil" but am just sharing my experience.

Share yours let's see.
Lalasticlala please do something.
Tosny2much say something.

tosyne2much:
Baba, I neva date girl b4 so I no know wetin I fit add

emmijes3:
ohh okay.next time don't go on a bleeping spree...no offense.

TO BUHARI, WHILE ON VACATION

"Why me? Why did I rule Nigeria now when while others ruled oil sold for 146 dollars per barrel." Buhari
Paraphrased

SIR,

When life gives a Fulani man soup, he does not complain he has no cassava to make garri or akpu. He takes his rice and makes tuwo.

I wrote an article immediately after you Buhari won that all this flipflop and complaints of not having money etc is like a man who deceives another man's wife to leave her husband and that he would love and cherish her, only for her to pack out and move in with him and he starts telling her he does not have the money to take care of her.

If you Buhari knows that you cannot manage the country without oil selling for 146 dollar per barrel, why did you keep contesting? Why not leave our GEJ or let Atiku or Tambuwal inherit the APC structure created by Tinubu?

To think that all you ever think of is oil is understandable. You have never worked in your life. Everything has come free. You have never guaranteed your own Salary.

As a youth you joined the army. In the army, your uniform and gun is paid for with oil money from the Niger Delta.

You became Governor. You merely rely on allocation to states. Then you became Minister of Petroleum and then NNPC Managing Director. Of course more free oil money.

Then you became president. Free house in Dodan Barracks and again free money. you went in prison. Free house and free food. You came out and became PTF boss, richest ministry under Abacha. Again Free oil money.

And when you left office, as a former president, everything has been free free free.

An Atiku has invested and ran a company. Even as Nigeria is going through hard times, an Atiku is calculating and thinking how best to MANAGE his huge investments.

Tambuwal has a chambers. El Rufai has his building firm business. These people have understood good and bad times and know not to blame the breeze, sun, moon, cloud etc. They know they must pay their workers. Every Igbo man with a store knows this. You complain abit but you shut up most of the time and work. Iya Basira that sells kpomo at Oyingbo knows how to cut her kpomo when economy is good and how to cut it when it is bad. But you Buhari, your addiction to free and easy everything is your undoing. I owned a record label. We do not know where promo money will come from or recording money but we believe and we hustle and fight and when we have money, we go to Puffy T, OJB etc. and when we do not have much, we leverage on friendship with the Charles Dukeetc. We do not cry.

It is why I have maintained that you Buhari, for not leveraging on the time you have had since you left powerto educate yourself further and learn new things, by not following your passion in cow husbandry and bringing your cow business to modern standards, by not having NGO's and running them, searching for money to fund it, you Buhari have passed through life SPOILT.

As a Fulani, you did not even need WAEC to enter the army. You used a Principal's promissory note THAT YOU WIIL PASS. Even your campaign, Tinubu and Amaechi did all the work. You only speak for four minutes. You did not even read the APC 100 days Covenant. YOU ARE SPOILED ROTTEN. Sai Baba, Sai Baba that you are called has made you think you know it all and must not develop yourself. Obasanjo went back to school in front of us all and while he was president. Gowon has gone back to school and Ojukwu cannot deceive him with CONFEDERATION anymore, where he still alive. You, YOU HAVE NOT ROSEN UP TO ANY CHALLENGE.

Oil at 36 dollars now is a challenge to be faced squarely by any president who has run a business. He will know that it is no time to buy BMW or budget 39 billion for propaganda (ministry of information.) In times of crisis like this, you do not get told in a media chat that Senate is collecting car loan and then getting cars free and then saying "that is bad" as if it is not your budget. You look at every item with a view to limiting expenditure, ensuring there are no leaks or wastage. An Atiku is doing that with his companies now. El Rufai is doing it. Every Igbo man in government is doing it with their SECOND ADDRESS aka businesses.

The Yorubas continue to read e.g Osinbanjo is using 5Million for just books. But you, your learning ended in 1985 so you still say WEST GERMANY and DEUTCHMARKS and FRANCS even when all the above has changed.

Buhari, with all your complaints and blaming of everyone, DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS BEFORE CONTESTING? did you not analyse it that IBB killed the naira? (as you claimed). Did you not know Chibok was in GEJ's time? Why did you go promising people you will make naira equal to the dollar and you will find Chobok girls and provide "sekooority"? Its been 9 months and instead of presenting your road map to success, you are insulting the old map. WHERE IS YOUR NEW REPLACEMENT ROADMAP?

Nigeria is not the only country affected by oil slump. In fact, many countries have no oil. Do people not still run these countries and without complaints? Nature has called you Buhari at this time to stand up and lead your country. You must take it AS IS. It is how the Southerners buy cars from auction... AS IS. We then fix the cars, no matter how bad.

Sometimes we gain, sometimes we lose. But we do not keep whining. What good does whining do? NONE. Oil will never sell for 100 dollars per barrel ever again, except our sweet crude or Bonny Light happens to cure cancer. Those days are gone forever. So what do you do?

1. Take back that Anini budget. get experts to look it over. I can suggest Kalu Aja, young but brilliant. He can refocus the expenditure and make each naira work for itself

2. GEJ people like Adesina is head of Africa Development bank. Ottey is Vice president of World bank. Ngozi Okonjo Iwealla remains a financial goddess. Use her influence and get financing.stop demonizing everything GEJ.

3. Buy Nigeria. All government official cars should be Innoson. One Yoruba guy in Osin fits bullet proof. Let us keep the money in this economy

4. Switch the forty billion for oil search in Sambissa forest to farming and gem stone and metal search in the North and middle belt and to Bitumen in Ondo. See where coal in Enugu can take us.

5. Ensure there is peace in Niger Delta and in the East. Whatever is spent to achieve peace within reason will not be regretted. Peace is cheaper

6. Complete the GEJ projects like the maritime university, second Niger bridge etc. You can punish the fraud without stopping the projects. These are laudable projects.

7. Get Northern youths into the Almajiri schools and build more. Pay parents in the North to send kids to school. we will complain in the south, but ultimately, this is the true end to Northern backwardness and Boko Haram.

8. Buy weapons and motivate the army. Imagine that Boko Haram started in your time and forget about what Gej bought or did not. Take the army AS IS and move on and crush Boko haram through financial offering to those who will take it and stop fighting and crushing those who will not.

9. Get The best advisers. No one expects you to know everything

10. Cede some power to Osinbanjo. If Tinubu trusts him, he must be quality. You trusted Fashola, a Tinubu creation.Trust Osinbanjo too. You cannot do it all

11. Again, you cannot do it all. we see you moving FEC meeting from weekly to bi monthly. We know it is over your health and age. We hear you want to make it monthly. DO NOT. We need you on the ball. Even if you cannot be there, let Osinbanjo be a true deputy. Dambazzu is there to watch him for you.

12. you are president of the whole Nation, not of Daura. Act like it. Texas did not vote Obama. It does not matter what areas voted you. Be all our president

13. Economy economy economy. Reconsider your position on the naira. Keeping it 197 when all of us buy at 307 is foolishness. we are losing investment in trillions. pls reconsider. Make those in diaspora have confidence in banking their dollar in Nigeria again. we need their dollars

there is so much to say sir, but nothing that you have spoilt that cannot be repaired. Get better advisers sir.

Yours Patriotically ,

Nubian113:
That's easy... I cope by using birth control or condom. foolish thread indeed.

emmijes3:
. I don't think you should be happy yet...what she's seeing might be IMPLANTATION BLOOD!!!.Mmany gals mistake this for their period..u shld ask her..if its lighter than usual,,nd last for only 2-3 days, den its definitely implantation blood..meanin she's pregnant...to be on the safe side, she shld go for a test..blood test to be precise

goodmorning40:
keep screwing hard one day soon it will delay for nine months

missKiffy:
And you have to bring the chat to nairaland

KashyBaby:
she is ur friend...a friendly kiss can't kill but if u suck her after then that's a huge move... up to u if u wanna play with her game

adajiboyy:
Don't act lik a kid op.respect that girls privacy.even if she acts inmaturedly, must u also act the same way mate.we guys all receive same from girls but we don't come to nairaland to post or talk about it.and my advice to u don't touch that girl dude.a real man don't F or kisses anuta Guys babe.

sapiosexual1:
Mr op (cuvox), if we all jump in here on Romanceland to post the sensual conversations we have, we'll all be banned for trolling. Pls don't bore us with every detail of your flirtation or chastity.

donholy28:
Op u deserve a slap...gerarahere meeeehnn why would u post dix?