heard it before but it still cracks me up.

nice one.

smart husband.

really good. ha ha ha

I think he took the expression a little too literally.

nice joke.

but what if after waiting for all those years, he finds out that she is engaged to another person.

ha ha ha ha

this joke cracks me up every time i see it.

Its a skill that we women develop,its the ability to express yourself without actually saying the words. pretty cool isn't it?

yeah i mean to find a girl like that with a guy like that, more often than not its for the money.

very funny

ha ha ha very funny

very funny. the old guy is really wise.

very very true. people must think. nice one.

i've heard it before but it still leaves me shocked.

nice joke. smart child

nice one

heard it before but it still cracks me up.

ha ha ha ha

very funny and very true.

good one.

nice one.

well whateva its just that d joke seemed pretty obvious to me. Anyway hope you all liked it.

nice one

would you?

Now why doesn't that surprise me?

The first two wives scream in pleasure but the third wife screams coz of the curtains.

thanks jaguda! that is the point of the joke. he bet 10,000 shekels on Goliath beating David and so he obviously lost and died of heart failure and years later was found by the archaeologist who discovered the time and cause of death by the parchment in his hand. Jeez.

Three men are boasting about their accomplishments.
The Italian says: "I rub my wife with oil all over her body and before I'm through she screams for 5 minutes!"

The Frenchman says: "I rub my wife all over her body with butter and before I'm through she screams for half an hour!"

The Jew says: "I rub my wife all over with chicken fat and before I'm through she screams for 6 hours!"

"Six hours!" they ask. "How is that possible?"

"The secret is to wipe your hands on the drapes when you're through."

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of parchment in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

For weeks, a 6-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.

The 6-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.

Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever became of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the centre of the jungle when a rare African tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the explorers had uncovered their secret location, so to stop them revealing it to the world, the tribe would destroy them. The tribe decided to shoot them with a bow and arrow one by one as a ritual.

First they chose the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 3-2-1, but before they could shoot she yelled "TORNADO", the tribe dropped to the floor covering their heads, when they realised nothing was happening, they looked up but the brunette had took her chance and was gone." However, the now angry tribe forced the redhead into the firing line, the tribe began, "3-2-1… " this time the redhead screamed, "FLOOD!!!"

The tribe jumped and all started climbing tree's to avoid being swept away, the redhead then too made her get away.

The tribe were furious at being outwit, they moved the blonde to the firing line.

"Hmmm" thought the blonde, "shouting out a natural disaster at the last minute seems to work, I think I'll give it a go".

Again the tribe started "3-2-1…" and then the blonde shouted "FIRE!!"

Three blondes are walking in the woods. They come across a set of tracks.
The 1st blonde looks closely and says: "Those are moose tracks".

The 2nd blonde crouches down and examines the tracks. "No, those are rabbit tracks," she says.

The 3rd blonde gets down on her hands and knees, checking the tracks very closely. "You're both wrong," she says. "Those are tiger tracks."

They began to argue about exactly what type of tracks they had found. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

A beautiful blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats.
Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one.

The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. The blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The Pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem.

He then goes back and briefly whispers something in the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says "Thank you so much," hugs the Pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section.

The co-pilot and flight attendant, who were watching, together ask the Pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York."

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of all Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbecuing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic."
Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"

Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef," and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and now you are a fish!"