₦airaland Forum

It is said in the holy book that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. So, many men have walked down the aisle in fulfilment of this Biblical injunction.

In the past, our parents, most especially the fathers, got married at very early years of their lives. Many of them had already given birth to their children before reaching the age of 30 years.

For those that were educated, once they graduated from the universities, their next move was to secure a job and then settle down to a marital life, while those that went into vocation consider marriage as the next on their agenda once they were able to acquire a room apartment and furnish it with few electronic gadgets.

The trend has, as a matter of fact, changed. The situation now is one where we find men in their late 30s still single, even those with plum jobs, while there are cases of single men in their early 40s.

This is quite unAfrican!

Mr. Jimoh Ademola is 34 and does not expect a man to get married when he is not financially stable. “If you want to remain the head of your family, you have to live up to the responsibilities that come with that position. I will get married when I know that I am ready enough to shoulder the responsibilities of being a husband and father. And that will take a little while,” he enthused.

In his own submission, Mr. Kola Akinde, 32, is of the opinion that Nigerian girls are not ready for marriage and too materialistic. According to him, “most of them are not wife materials, they date solely for material gains from that relationship. With the way a lot of them dress and act, I am sure that any responsible mother will frown at that when you take such home as your wife to-be. That does not mean that there are not good girls out there, but believe me, they are hard to come by.”

Mr. Jimmy Okoha, 28, believes that it is not easy to run a family these days. “Things are really expensive now. So, I am still trying to work harder and save more money before I can take that bold step,” he opined.

Forty-year old Oladipo Olajuyigbe, who sees nothing good in the Nigerian women, bears his mind: “I don’t like Nigerian women because they are too demanding and never satisfied with what they are given. I have a plan to get a woman from abroad. When that happens, I will settle down with her.”

While some men are putting the blame at the doorsteps of the women folk, the women too are not keeping quiet.

Miss Bukky Aro, 30, inferred in her statement that most men now are cowards. “They are scared of commitment. Most of them want ladies they will only use and dump. In fact, some of them would rather have kids out of wedlock than get married. That is why we have lots of single mothers around,” she stated.

Temilorun Ajiboye is 27 and shares Bukky’s opinion. According to her, “men are really scared of commitments and the responsibility of running a home. That is why you could see a couple that has dated for seven years and still does not have plans of bonding the union legally. Well, most ladies are not even waiting for them, they just go ahead to have kids and move on with their lives without husbands.”

Miss Chris Anyanwu, 32, believes that men are in the habit of expecting too much from their women. Said she: “Some of these men expect so much from us, things that if they were in our shoes, they will never have been able to achieve. I don’t know what they expect from us.”

Speaking with P.M.News in his office, Dr. Soji Oni, a lecturer in Sociology of Education, Department of Educational Foundations, University of Lagos, Akoka, Lagos, gave an insight into the matter at hand.

“When it comes to the issue of marriage, one should be very careful as it needs serious planning. If one fails to plan, then one is planning to fail. The economic situation in the country does not even allow one to live a decent life. As a university lecturer of close to 10 years, I just got married recently. How much is the take home salary of an average worker in Nigeria after all the deductions?” He queried.

Continuing, he said, “I studied briefly in South Africa and was very impressed about their social welfare. We don’t have any in Nigeria. As an average African and working class, you think of yourself because self preservation, they say, is the man’s first law. But when even the little you receive is not enough for you, how can you think of marriage?

“Take a cursory look at the cost of renting an apartment, especially in Lagos, it is killing so also is transportation, among other things. How, for God’s sake, will young men think of marriage under all these harsh conditions?”


http://thepmnews.com/2009/02/17/why-men-shy-away-from-marriage

Nairalanders what do you think of this?

When better no dey. Wetin u expect make man do wen naijo too dey hot for comfort. When people in govt dey chop money like say na their backyard tree the money dey take grow from. masses dey suffer like craze for Naija. Man mi, no body sabi them for their so forget that thing wey u dey yarn, abi u get job for them!

Nigerian man go do 100meters like Ben Johnson or Carl Lewis without looking back!

abi o. My money na my money, your money na our money!

Na wa o. We sabi waste resources for this country, The stadium has been abandoned!

Na wa o. Finally the cat has been let loose. That guy should be executed or killed.

Is this good for Nigerian football? John Obuh has proved so many football critics wrong that he is a coach to be reckoned with anyday anytime. Is he really worth being the flying eagles coach.

Aisha, thank you my sister. You are a true Nigerian!!!!

Abeg, make una ignore that man o. The man is a spy

Nigerians!!!!! Is unclebros a pastor?

Allow them to finish what they have started before burying them alive. Haba, Nigerians!

Unclebros,
Infact you dey mad! E be like say you the craze for head. it is a known fact that the boys played well and I wonder why you happen to be an enemy of progress and a busy body of some sort. Why are you drawing up issues with no prove that the boys did cheat. The stupid man that said the lad he felt played for his club 7yrs ago was not even the boy in question. They only share the same name but not the same middle name. Make GOD USE HAMMER HAMMER THAT YA HEAD! Make you no vex me o.

Borat, Make tunder fire that ya mouth!

Unclebros, make tunder fire ya own like 4 times make you no wake up.

Those boys played well. At least some of them were tested on the SCAN and it has proved all of you wrong that they are age cheats. GO FOR GOLD EAGLETS!!!!!!

Rose Petal,

Thanx for your comment. I am waiting in anticipation for the post of yours

I am begining to see that she is very insecure if I take a walk, some event has started unfolding. I will keep u posted./

U should also view this too

http://www.bibleplus.org/Discoveries/redsea.htm

, Do not read the bible upside down!

Don't you know that Noah's Ark has been found?

http://www.arkdiscovery.com/noah's_ark.htm

I think this should shut your mouth up. Don't under estimate the accurate expressions of the bible cos it is very accurate.

It is not good to keep patching relationships. You need to hear from both sides to judge. Stop castigating Festus Keyamo. Una no dey the guys shoes.

U are already digging your grave already. you better run faster than your legs away from that scam of a man.

remember that white men can't F***K!

I have forgiven her already but why is the guy's name keeps poping out of her mouth, she is boring me with the guy's name.

I agree wt Akpangbon

My fingers are crosed!

Waiting in anticipation for ur views,

Friends, thanks for your support and I quickly have to let you guys know what happened at the dinner. We went to a fast food joint and afterwards took me to a pub. But at the dinner she was telling me all about how they met bla bla bla and that she made a serious mistake about storing that name the way she did and that she didn't know what went into her to act the way she has done, By the end of the day she said she is afraid that I would use that event to act badly to her and that I have realy changed towards her since the past few days bla bla bla. But the bottom line is that it is over with the said Akeem guy. I sat numb but told her by the end of the gist that for this relationship to work we both have to be committed. That was on friday. She wanted to stay over at my place but I insisted dropping her off at her residence so as to make her have a rethink of what we have discussed. I realy did enjoy myself cos I wasn't the one doing the spending this time around. I give her kudos for this!

On saturday, she came over to my place while I was doing some paperwork I took home from the office. We sat at the sofa and was talking and guys guess what, she wants us to take our relationship to the next level, "HELL NO" my mind told me. I need to trust her cos she has undermine my trust. She still talked about this guy and I wonder why the guy's name keeps poping up.

Nairalanders, what do u think?

D

Friends, thanks for your support and I quickly have to let you guys know what happened at the dinner. We went to a fast food joint and afterwards took me to a pub. But at the dinner she was telling me all about how they met bla bla bla and that she made a serious mistake about storing that name the way she did and that she didn't know what went into her to act the way she has done, By the end of the day she said she is afraid that I would use that event to act badly to her and that I have realy changed towards her since the past few days bla bla bla. But the bottom line is that it is over with the said Akeem guy. I sat numb but told her by the end of the gist that for this relationship to work we both have to be committed. That was on friday. She wanted to stay over at my place but I insisted dropping her off at her residence so as to make her have a rethink of what we have discussed. I realy did enjoy myself cos I wasn't the one doing the spending this time around. I give her kudos for this!

On saturday, she came over to my place while I was doing some paperwork I took home from the office. We sat at the sofa and was talking and guys guess what, she wants us to take our relationship to the next level, "HELL NO" my mind told me. I need to trust her cos she has undermine my trust. She still talked about this guy and I wonder why the guy's name keeps poping up.

Nairalanders, what do u think?

D

Czarskit (m),

Bingo! that is the word, oh my God! Thanks man.

Thanks guys for your reply. I did confront her and do u know what she went straight on her knees and started begging. She had nothing to say. I am going to study her more and it is like I don't even know her well enough. I have made a decision which is she can never ever know my next move. The more she was begging the more I c the lies. I have gotten over that saga but I don't think I can trust her again. She knows this very well. My fingers are crossed cos she is taking me out for dinner today. Actually, this is the first time she is taking me out, she told me she has alot to tell me , I hope what she has to tell me is realy worth it.

Pinky lady,
I wanted to be sure of what I would be accusing her of before confronting her was the reason why I kept mute.

If I reply the text, what are the options for me. To be honest with you, I don't know what to even write.