blowjohn:
So sad.

Guys and gals pls and advice from me.

This is something I do.
If a gal visits me, I make sure she takes a direct drop back home and I make sure she sends a text that she's home.

Even before then, I make sure I accompany her to where she will enter the taxi, copy the plate number and watch them go.

But more importantly, I make sure I call and record her tell me she's back home.

The reason is simple. U know how gals are. They will always want to branch somewhere or meet someone else.


So that if anything goes wrong and the police track u frm ur last conversation u will have evidence that she left ur place alive.

That's something I have imbibed cos the times are really dangerous and gals have become even more desperate.

True. Girls can lie for Africa. From your house, she might go to another man. If something happens there and you are her last contact, nobody will believe your protestation of innocence.

I used to have a female platonic friend. People of her ethnic background are not positively disposed to Africans in relationship matters. She told me her family hated other races. But she was a very bright and nice girl. Those were student days.

Whenever she turned up at my house, and drunk at times, I would just let her relax in my crib. She would drink if having issues with her on again off again bf.

Later, I would ensure that I drop her off at home (literally to her sitting room or even bedroom if drunk) and her flatmates would see me take my leave.
I nor want any wahala.

Gerrard59:


Are you implying the marriage collapsed because of the husband's refusal to have another child? So which of them is in charge of the children's custody and well-being? Why did the man not do vasectomy? How is she coping now as a single mother of three children?

Sorry for my too many questions, I just find the tale interesting.

I don't believe the man needed vasectomy. Sure. he has part responsibility but remember the lady already decided before marriage. The lady tried to paint the hubby bad but knowing how hot she was about having many kids, I did not believe her. I even advised her after the second child to take it easy. I didn't know her hubby was saying same thing. She was still insisting on 4 kids minimum. She is not a single child as she has brothers and sisters.

She has just an average job and her hubby even had no job when she was preggy with first child. He got an average job later.

As for how she's coping, I have stopped asking o. She has custody. It was all very messy at the end. I can't waste my time on people who cannot heed a simple advice.

Couples should learn to be flexible and reach a consensus on many aspects in marriage: number of kids, taste, lifestyle, investment, etc.

jamesversion:


I just need 1 child, preferably a son and I'm OK. [b]All the small small girls around me are fantasising about having 4 & 5 kid[/b]s. I no blame dem sha, especially as they demand for something, I give ASAP.

I had female friend who said many years ago that she would have minimum 4 kids. She had no steady bf. Although she claimed no bf but you know ladies are not honest in such matters.
I advised that she should wait and agree that with her future hubby. She insisted it must be minimum 4 kids by fire by force. I just siddon look.

She married some years later.
She knack one pikin fiam! Like another 18 months, another pikin fiam!

Nor do nor do, a third pikin fiam!

Well, the hubby insisted on not having a third child but she did everything to have it. I only found out when the hubby began to avoid coming home until very late at night and marital problems started.

She is a single mother now.

Godsonkemz:
You never join the force and you are already giving out employment to others. Can you give what you don't have...

Nemo dat quod non habet.

Pecoleee345:


So once he can take care of her need at that point next thing Is to curse him??

Like is wig even something that important??

Abi o. Imagine if for some sudden difficulties the man cannot pay children's school fees 12 years into the marriage?

Na Okija abi Ijebu Ode the lady go go find correct Dibia/Babalawo/shrine to swear for the guy.

The guy made the best decision. Nor gree for any entitled nonentity.

Proudlyomonna:
Awon ole.
They didn't come out when the man was alive, the dead cannot defend themselves, so they have come with their ririri
Awon oni radarada oshi

Dude, Bisola and Agomoh spoke out years ago. Many years ago. I saw both on YouTube.

Dude, let us be objective.

The church should sue BBC for billions if not true.

What about the daughter of TB Joshua?
The truth is what matters. The matter should be Thoroughly investigated.

The guilty party should pay heavily. If it's BBC, they should be banned from 9ja totally too.

wink2015:


LACK OF CONTENT IN LIFE can lead one into his or her own DOOM !

Betta Edu failed herself and she will live with the bad name all her life.

Dude na lie. If you nor be "betta thief" you nor dey rise in 9ja corrupt politics.

She will even get a better deal codedly. Quietly on the low. Nor be 9ja again?

All of us have short memory. Plus election is still far away.

Nice123:
Considering the actions of this lady, a 37-year-old youth within her first 8 months in office, it's a stark realization of the state of our nation
At times, I reflect on whether there's any Nigerian, myself included, untouched by corruption, someone who wouldn't embezzle public funds if presented with the chance.

Who shall save Nigeria? The earlier we realised what we are doing to ourselves, the better for us. Clock is ticking, one day monkey go go market e no go return.

Abeg nor come wunjure me with laffta o.

Monkey wey lost for market road tey tey. Kikikikiki.

Simple answer: None.

Techwriter:
From Diezani to Beta it seems women's beauty is a measure of how corrupt they're. The more beautiful the more corrupt. Even Lucifer beauty is said to be corrupted

You need to remember that same beauty eased their way to the top.

Men who call the shots fall for beauty easily. Irrespective of whether the lady is married or not. Men just prefer to deal with pretty women. Same way women of any marital status would be more drawn to a very handsome guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naQiJtBZF1Q?si=Pp6a0FytBlNbkLrr
[/quote]
This video on Italian Americans in very interesting.

Seun:
Women in government should forget about stealing. The men under them will be very happy to report them if they steal.

Good. Perhaps over time, or hopefully soonest, the women will be ratting on the corrupt men in govt too.

If men versus women corruption leaks will help reduce corruption, wonderful news to Nigerians.

Judolisco:
Why youths jst dey disgrace us like dis...
Shey na like dis we wan rule 2mrw?

Kikikikiki
Dey play.

You dey whine us.

Remember Dimeji Bankole? Babangida the HoR speaker (pioneer speaker in current Republic in 1999) of fake Toronto degree infamy nko?

The youth are doing what they learnt from father and grandfather generations. The youth are worse than the old cargos. If na so Gowon loot when ruling 9ja when at same age as Edu, Biafra would have overrun 9ja in no time. Maybe that for better pass sef as na failed state we get now.

Treasure17:
This is a violence year. No gree for anybody.

Leap year for that matter.

Hmmmmm. The guy get gay vibes.

Itsekhiri, Ika and Urhobo are quite rich too.

Tony Elumelu is a Delta Anioma man.

Executedbills:


Boss, you messaged me but I don't have access to this email. Kindly use the contact link below to reach me.

Click Here to Contact Me

I have used the contact link but I wonder why you don't have your business WhatsApp number here. Check out those CV writing and others offering services here on NL. Their WhatsApp make them easily accessible.

Totally insane.

The man should be jailed.

Besto:



How do you consider major, Sq Ldr and Lt Cdr as senior officers.

Snr officers starts from red neck

In normal armies, you would have been commissioned for at least 8 to 10 years to be a major.
You can even stand in for a Lt Col in the field.

The seniority of Major position is why being a captain is probably the longest part of the commissioned army officer ladder. People easily spend about 8 years as a captain, some more, some less. Commanding about 120 officers and soldiers nor be joke.

If they stand in for the Lt Col, they can be commanding around 600 to 650 men in some emergency situations.

The way I see it, from Major to Colonel are still not General Officers. So Only a Brigadier (One Star) really seriously cuts above the others (Major/Lt Col/Col).

I admit that regular Colonels typically don't command in the field and their liaison work at brigade or even higher level prepares them for the most senior jobs to come.

Being retired as a colonel must be very painful with One Star position so tantalisingly close.

letstalksense

Sorry to hear that but I commend the woman's honesty. Maybe she wants to start afresh with you.

However, it's always better to allow a lady come back from NYSC before talking about marriage. E get why.

Anyhow, a lady you already promised marriage, instead of asking after you when you didn't call, she followed another guy in camp. No concern or loyalty. Can you leave the type of woman in 9ja and go abroad and study for 6 months or a year?

Can you with peace of mind leave her in Lagos (if she works there) while you work in PH or Abuja?

Be realistic.

Dig deeper, investigate her. You need to know her much better.

SmartyPants:
Okocha never won major club honours - would have always been difficult for him. Mikel was never exceptional enough as an individual.

So it's sad our most gifted player was not accomplished enough, and our most accomplished player was not gifted enough.

Okocha was never really at the right place at the right time. Imagine if he joined AC Milan, Man U or Arsenal at that time. Or Even Ajax. Decisions and opportunity make a difference.

Whereas, Mikel was. But transformation of Mikel by Mourinho "de-marketed" Mikel somewhat but allowed him to become accomplished trophy-wise. Both were very cautious and probably underestimated their abilities a bit at first.

Okocha needed a bit more discipline in ball possession. A disciplinarian to shape his methods and nascent career back in Frankfurt would have helped greatly.

Afobaba33:


Oga Sir I beg to disagree with your point considering the ratio of people involved in corruption

Only the top officers can get away with looting in the military BUT our dear politicians from councilor to Mr president are corrupt

Even if one wants to be different the system will not permit you

Dem fit kpai the person sef.

IamANigerianMan:

From Lt Col

From Major/Sq Ldr/Lt Cdr to Colonel as senior officers are all corrupt.
From Brig. Gen and above as flag officers are super corrupt.

viyon02:
I do watch cartoon too, in fact smart people watch cartoon.

If OP can't get it, let him forgerrit.
Cartoons are far better than most silly programs adults watch.

clefstone:
It depends on your girlfriend shape o

I wonder.
IF na amoeba shape, you go explain tire. No evidence of looking sexy.

One thing about such girls be say dem nor dey pure.

One thing go dey somehow about them like ogbanje levels.

Honey sweet one moment, totally weird next.

ahnie:
The wife almost collapse and burst into hot tears,both families were called for a meeting with the lady opening saying she's done with the marriage as it seems to have taken a toil on her being the bread winner.
As I write she has abandoned their kids with the man and went away with taking anything from their home to another town to start a fresh life.

Reasons for this post is....her husband is still bragging that what belongs to his wife also belongs to him,that he has rights to spend the money

My question is....who's to be blamed?
Should we blame the woman for being too lax with her ATM CARD N PIN which her husband is privy to?

OR

The man that blew the wife's money on frivolities

If the story is true or even half of it is true, the hubby is a stupid goat.
You have 4 kids, you can't even feed your family if not for your wife. Then you blow your wife's savings on little girls. No thought about his kids education.
But wait o. Where do these hardworking women get these useless men from?

The blame is the yeye man's 100%

Klass99:


I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

It's the same issues blighting relationships in 9ja that affect those in diaspora, with extra pressure to secure stay or be deported. When they are deported, you will be one of those to laugh at them.

9ja relationships in 9ja are not as genuine or authentic as before, divorces are more common, fewer people take culture and tradition seriously these days, right here in 9ja. Compared to our parents and grandparents. Everybody is doing too smart. Why should you expect miracles in 9ja people abroad?

Those successful Asians are still Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Confucius, Shinto adherents etc. Or Muslims for centuries now.

At Diwali, the Hindu festival, Sunak puts Hindu candles and other stuff outside Number 10 Downing Street. A Prime minister. Imagine Obama pouring libation outside the White House to one Kenyan/Luo god or goddess like that. It's oversabi holier-than-the-Pope Africans who will condemn him the most.

In 9ja various religions in the last 200 years have shattered our traditional values. We are in a transition and being tossed around anyhow. So expect more of the confusion and values erosion, both in 9ja and diaspora.

Cmeo:
What I don't understand is why some people are hellbent of destroying Nigeria for the benefit of foreigners?? So many complains are being read about SON deliberately allowing substandard goods import into Nigeria but shutting down local companies for producing something better than that

Because they all know that nobody really cares about 9ja. To the average 9ja, their Town Union is more important, relevant and closer to their heart than the 9ja project can ever be. Forget all that singing of national anthem in official gatherings. Na just formality.

9ja is a carcass that people are just carving up turn by turn. If letting foreigners carve up their own chunk is what it takes, so be it.

QED.

BabaHenry:


I can't blame most of this people hating on each other here, the hate was actually passed from generation to generation and it keeps getting stronger day by day....
We were also brought up with the same mindset but we chose not to follow the path of destruction that these people follows...

Let me tell you a little story Sir...

About 18years ago, I was in a commercial Bus going to Ibadan from Osun state. ..
There was this two Igbo men sitting at the back of the Bus and I was sitting at the middle... Honestly speaking would you believe that despite the fact that these guys works and live among the Yorubas, all their conversation till we got to the destination was all about their hate for those people, how they can never allow their daughters to marry from from them and their son likewise...
My heart was trouble and I wept within, how exactly did we get to this point and one thing I want you to know is that the only thing making the hate stronger is Politics as we stand now...

Those two grown up men, how do you want them to relate with their kids on issues that concerns the Yorubas ?
And the same thing goes for any Yoruba man with the same mindset as those Igbo men...

Most of us are being misled and I pray may God help us out of this mess!!

.

Dude, we are in trouble. Seeing the headline, I knew it would degenerate to a Benin-Yoruba fight.

Our system deliberately refused to teach history correctly.

My fear is that as Nigeria grows bigger, the fights will get worse and we will become ever more incompatible.

We have discussed that Oba travels but not anyhow.

Historically, Oba Orhogbua was with Portuguese in Eko and Ijebu-Ode. The Portuguese documented it well. They were also at the gate of Idah with Oba of Benin in the Benin-Idah War, 500 years ago.

Obas led warriors to War before later putting Iyase and Ezomo in charge.

How can an Oba/Emperor not travel to survey/visit territories?

But there are times of the year that Oba goes into seclusion and sees only few or nobody. Certainly no strangers such as period of atonement/fasting called Awe in Benin.

Coolsat:
Some so-called men are just very annoying.

If you are in charge of your games, where she for see liver to come up with such request.

Smh

But she go still pass back go. Na today?

Greenfaces:


The culture is totally different. It's not like the southern life style where the movement of women is unrestricted. Its very easy to track these acts just by the structure of the society. There is no free mixing of opposite genders, hotels, police, neighbours all collaborate to ensure a healthy society. A woman who is not married doesn't even live alone in a rented apartment. Do you know what it is to be called dan iska? That's bustard. It's a very serious thing here. That's even pregnancy before marriage not to talk of giving someone's child to another man. I have never even seen a case like that here my entire life except amongst people whom the society has ordinarily cast away as unfit to coexist with normal people. These are the people you know as yan dabas, drug dealers, bandits, boko haram, prostitutes. they are not the everyday normal dan arewa we know. Its still very very common to be married as a virgin both as a man and woman here that's to tell you that social media or wokeness has not broken even the most basic traditions talkless of introducing new dimension to shamelessness

We often hear and discuss the issue of promiscuity in the south and some of us think its over rated, some think it's too bad to be true, but from the news and statistics, yes it's true that the media is not hyping this sex matter in the south. Its actually a free for all and sign of the end time

Look, just because most girls marry very young before they even have the chance to date does not mean when married, things won't happen, For example, marrying your cousin in most of the South is incest. No such qualms in Core North. Therefore straffing cousins might be rampant.

Also, on paper, drug use should be low in the North, but we know it's not.

Premarital pregnancy will of course be rare when you marry soon after reaching puberty.

Look, all societies believe their structure is superb, until science speaks. Fact is we just don't have figures from the North.

Where awareness and suspicion are low, then reliable data would be rare. At least we have data for part of Lagos, none for any part of Kano.

Xiaohei:
[b][/b]

Is the student gender non-binary? The use of “their” and “themselves “ when referring to just one person (a male) is confusing ooo!

It's normal these days. Just to be neutral.