₦airaland Forum

casiello:
Exactly. I'm shocked at the mentality displayed here.

Same here. I didn't realise too many ignorant people could actually gather at a place

peeps4u:
You're sick upstairs. Looking for a job doesn't mean he is poor or jobless. Be reasonable for once. You dont need to always post gibberish to amass likes on NL.
BTW, he has a right to keep whatever info he feels private confidential. Have some dignity Please.

Don't mind that guy, chasing clout. Very ridiculous advice

AntiWailer:
Stick to your believe with your next employer.

Best of luck.

I never disclosed this in my current job, but goodluck with finding new employees.

AntiWailer:
That is the end of the interview Bro.

Nothing is confidential.

It is a normal HC procedure to know your current earnings so they can decide if the deal they are offering u is fair or not.

As an hiring Manager, once u say that. The interview is over. No way you are going to the next level.

I prefer u tell me u earn 50k a month but u won't do 1 naira less than 500k a month than that 'Confidential Bull Craaap'

Infact your previous pay slip is needed before u are given offer letter in any reasonable Organization not mush room employers.

NB : please I am not talking about 30k per month job offers.

Nope, this is grossly incorrect Sir!

Firstly, the HR personnel has an obligation first to the company's interest before that of the employees, so your advise is already skewed.

It is the employees best interest to max as much as possible as he/she can get. Divulging such information puts them in a disadvantage and arms the company in making decisions on how to get away with as little as possible.

No reasonable position would ask for your previous payslip and you have every right to decline to provide it.

It's business, not a family gathering.

NwaAmaikpe:





It is not wrong.

You stood your ground...it is your right not to disclose personal informations to employers just as it is your right to remain jobless.

I admire your doggedness and arrogance in poverty...you refused to answer it in your written interview and you got a clue to remedy this basic goof in the oral interview but your village people got the best of you.

I won't blame them for not eventually employing you either. Someone who writes like this is not fit to be a janitor in a local school let alone a teacher.

The Op did NOTHING wrong. Job application is not a family meeting for everyone to be happy, you are simply stating your case why you deserve a certain amount, not begging. Infact, I ll advise he should have asked the pay range for the job earlier

Yustash001:
Good evening Nairalanders,

So, during the oral interview, they asked while I didn't write the amount, I told them I don't want to disclose it and I don't think it's formal. I decided not to argue it further when the principal said it's formal, even though I didn't disclose the amount in the end.

So, my people, have you ever experienced such?
And is it formal to ask applicants of the exact amount they receive as salary in the organisation where they formerly work?


Please help push it to the front page...

They ask because they want to use it to determine what they will pay you, or how they will rate you. Never give out this information, you are simply disarming yourself. You did the right thing period.

In many countries,there are laws guiding this, and while there is no crime for them to ask, there is no obligation for you to respond and if they won't employ you on that basis, you don't want to work there too, either.

A tip, always try to throw deflective questions back at them- ask them the salary range and tell them, you are also trying to determine if it meets your market value expectations. Do your initial research on the position and industry and have this before going in.

MrMcJay:
Why not?
Request for it from any person or company selling land to you.

If they can provide it, send me a PM let me look at the clauses in it so as to advise you appropriately.

Thanks, I ve asked the agent

MrMcJay:
Allocation isn't the problem. Tell them to show you the title document they have over the land. Also tell them to show you the document they used to buy from the original Omonile family which should be a Deed of Assignment.

This prevents you from long stories later.

Can I request this before buying?

nifty:
Thank you..............i would do that........cause i no wan hear stories ohhh

Did you get to find this?

I am currently looking at a number of offers in ibeju lekki. One I'm considering states that it has GOVERNMENT EXCISION (LS/D/BK321)

What does this even mean?

Are there any pros and cons to this in terms of troubles I may see in the future? I just want to get one and keep it for a number of years, no plans to do any construction anytime soon. Price is not the discussion, we know most places there avg 1-4m depending on title/docs. I am just trying to see if there is something I may be missing.

Thanks

ibkayee:
There's just something about a guy describing himself as an 'alpha' that automatically makes me think he isn't, eww lol

It's the reason he will only do it online, but in reality will act it. It's a turn off saying it or even showing off in a more than obvious way.

pastie:
My account manager, I sight you.

At least, I don't go about bragging or flaunting a lifestyle i can hardly afford.

Bwahahahahhaha....

henritinecy:
So I started dating this girl about this time last year. Things were rosy because I just came back to the country and I was having much money with me. I tried my best to give her what she wants. As times goes on, earlier on this year, we had a little misunderstanding and I initiated a breakup. Of a truth, the issue was minor and didn’t warrant a breakup. She sent my friends to beg me. We kept on going. Along the line, things became rough for me and suddenly, her respect for me started reducing. She hardly create time for us. She is currently in school in another state while I am in Lagos. At this point, we usually breakup up and come back. They were minor things though but sometimes we don’t talk for a while. The last time it happened, she said if we ever break up again, we are never coming back together. And then, When things started going wrong with me financially, she advised to leave the country that it will better me as well as her. But I declined. Gradually , our seeing time reduced. Sometimes she will be in Lagos and we will see just once or twice and she usually tell me that she is busy that’s why it’s like this.

Fast forward to last month. Her elder sister has a wedding and we needed to travel together. So we used my car. Half way into the journey my car engine knocked. The car had to be towed to Lagos while we continued our journey. She even provided part of te money we used in towing the car back to Lagos as well as paying the rest of the fare till we got to our destination. Meanwhile, She was talking to different guys on the phone though the conversations were not related to us but I felt this jealousy in me. While on the journey I asked her if there was someone else and she said no. I asked her to give me her phone and she did without arguing and even opened it. Then I returned it back to her without going through it. Then I asked her what I can do at this point. Cuz now there is no finance from anywhere coming in. As a matter of fact, I was using that particular car for Taxify and now the engine is down. She said she had told me before but I didn’t listen and that I should leave the country and things will be better for me again. I said okay am going to do it this time. So my mind was to come back to Lagos after the wedding and I sell it off. She was even crying while telling me.

On the day of the marriage I took another car from home and helped with the things I could. Taking her and her friends to and fro with respect to the wedding. The day after the wedding, she called me to come pick her from the hotel her friends that came for the wedding were lodging. I got there and we started taking things to the car I brought from the rooms her friends lodged. On our way to the car, a man stopped her and she was having a conversation with the man. And the man was laughing with her and even exchanging contact. This is a man in the 40s. At this point I was furious but I kept quiet. When she was done she came to the car and we set off for her house. She saw in me that I was angry. She then asked me what was wrong and I told her my mood has changed. She asked me to go drop her at the hotel and that when my mood is back on, I should come pick her. I then tuned back, and she came down. Cuz of the love I have for her, I didn’t want this to degenerate to something else. I came down I told her the act was wrong. She then told me if it’s wrong for her to talk to people and meet people because she is dating me. I said it’s not wrong but me being there, it’s disrespectful and besides there are ways she can tell me to excuse her in order to show that she is concerned about me. She then replied and said am speaking English. I felt so back with that statement. I just dropped her stuffs and drove back home.

When I got home, I sent her a long message on Instagram telling her that I cannot continue in this relationship. That I need my respect back and making money is the only value that will bring my respect back. She replied with just thanks. 3 days later, I couldn’t continue a life without her. I called her in the morning. At this point , she has blocked me from communicating with her on Instagram. I asked her to forgive me for what I said and that I was just frustrated with the way things ain’t going well with me, coupled with my car and finances. She told me that she cannot date me again and has moved on. I thought it was a joke. I kept on begging but she has made up her mind.

Last week, I started talking to her with a random account on Instagram and posed like someone that is interested in her and has feelings for her. I also told her that I am not in the country at the moment and will be back next month. For 5 consecutive days we were talking. She even initiated a video call and I declined. Then I asked her about her relationship and she said it’s complicated. That she hasn’t heard from the guy in 2 weeks. And explained all that happened to him. She revealed so many things to me via that conversation. Then I now called her with my number. She then knew I was the one. I started pleading with her again , telling her that I am sorry. She said she has moved on. That the only language she understands now is money which I cannot offer her. That she is tired of this love thing. That if I beg from now till forever , she is not interested. That I should go and make money. That she needs someone that can pay her bills and that the only thing she can do for me is being friends with me. Of a truth she needs money to pay her school fees plus accommodation fee in school which is upward from N300,000 and I cannot provide that now. So she said she needs someone that can be giving her money and that she has suffered enough; But dating me, she can never do that again.

I love this girl and it’s hard to let go. Maybe with time, I will. But how do I let go of what I feel for her and how can I move ahead at this point? Yes she has motivated me to go make money and be a better person. But it hurts me so bad that after making this money, some other lady will be the one spending the rest of my life with me. Yes I bleeped up by not listening to her when she first asked me to leave the country. And I bleeped up by initiating a breakup due to my frustration. But my heart lies with her and hopefully with time, I will heal and make enough money that this experience will be a thing that will make me smile when I look back and think about it.

Please anyone that has gotten over someone you have been so much emotionally attached to, I need your help towards getting over her because right now, the whole experience is killing me.

Thank You

Brother.. Pls read my own recent breakup experience on my profile.. Reading your writeup almost made me cry cos I could relate deeply with everything you said. That is why its advised men have an element of the redpill in them. Never love blindly. Please I ll like to send you a PM regarding my own experience. pls do reply

juniorstar:
its a progression...no sane girl disrespects her guy.
U didnt see the signs. But they were standing right in front of you.or perhaps you choose to avoid those signs.

I actually saw the signs and knew a day like this will come. Well it has come. what can I say??

ImaIma1:
Obviously you speak from the standpoint of a guy. You think guys don't flirt with other girls instead of solving their issues. It is just that when a lady does it, it is termed "disrespect".

And at what point did I support the lady? By asking the guy if he offended and refused to apologize?

Did you even see my response to his reply? I guess you did not.

The op has obviously downplayed his own faults and involvement.

I have to come in here.
Downplayed what I really dont want to go TMI, but trust me, I am a gentleman in many ways. Imagine someone out of a moving car, stopped at a traffic light, just because I wouldnt turn down the volume of the music, when she is making spiteful remarks about me. I still had to act matured to stop and convice her to go back into the car. No way... absolutely no way... I personally felt it was all due to her immaturity and nothing else which is why despite my attempts to explain how what she did was disrespectful, she still continued saying crap. I wanted to have a normal proper conversation with her, but she will still continue with the attitude. People say I am soft, but I know that once I make up my mind, I could be a heartless devil.

Too much I cant say in here. I remember another incident when we had a fight and words were exchanged, she went calling one of my friends who private chats her right in my presence, despite warning and advising her that we both cannot share the same close friends... It doesnt make sense. I had to warn the guy to stay in his lane. I still blamed her cos at the end, you give the rappour you get.

In summary, Its all immaturity which I am not ready to deal with at all. Gladly, some time has passed, and its all waned off. She sure will be making a mistake to try to come back, cos then it will be pure revenge.

holuphisayor:
Sounds like a cooked up story.

I wish it was bruh

I wouldnt lie.. Even though i want to respond, the last couple of posts made sense. Lesson learnt here.. Never ever allow a woman to "see you finish" Thats what caused all these sht... Always put her in her place from the get Go and nevet looseguard

Postfut:
Exactly. I was extremely pissed when reading the story sef. In your OWN car with your OWN time. The guy doesn't value himself. Too subservient.

If it was me, Let me stop here.

Bro... Plsss don't get things mixed up... She is on crutches. I didn't add that not to make it TMI. so when she threatened to leave the car, I knew it was blackmail playing there. I also know her uncle she lives with and would rather drop het back home and breakup there and then, which I did

ImaIma1:
You both are acting like children. And do you feel too proud to apologize to her when you have wronged her?

Because I have noticed that some guys will form ignorance and want to go on like nothing happened instead of acknowledging their offence and apologizing.That is disrespect.

Both of you are probably better of apart.

I obviously didn't type much, but if I tell you I wanted to talk things with her and apologize where I did wrong, you wouldn't believe me. I asked what I did wrong, she wouldn't tell me... Meanwhile the attitude started when I told her I couldn't see her due to my busy schedule (After already meeting twice in the same week). Well, I did resolve not to bother myself with her poor level of communication and lack of respect. Its not my job.. Maybe the next guy can take care of that

highqueen:
Yawns.

Disrespect kor, Please, get busy with something.


You both lack manners.

I know your type... rubbish

So recently she was mad at me, giving me attitude - you know when girls start getting mad at you for no reason, you just let them be. She asked I drive her to somewhere to do some registration, which I obliged. We were still fighting then, but I had to do it as she had a pain on her leg, and so couldnt walk properly. Well fastforward, inside the car, she continues with the attitude and she starts receiving calls from different guys, talking and laughing out on the phone, which I ignore. But there is this particular guy which I know through her to be her best friend of some sort... He normally calls her often, they talk, nd all and he knows very well we are dating, even though he has asked her out before. So, he was around even greeted me before I took her from her house.

Fastforward...So he calls her while we re driving, talking on the phone where I then hear her telling the guy that "I m annoying and I wouldnt apologize for what I did wrong" and all those other stuff in my car. I also heard them deciding whether to see later that evening or not. I kept minding my business and decided to turn up the volume of my music which then seemed to disturb her call. She then turns it low and then an argument ensued where she abruptly left the car where I was stopped at an intersection. On the way home, I got a call from a girl, and pretended we were talking and also deciding to see. She then kept asking me who I am going to see. It was at that point I got mad at her behaviour.. cos you cannot play judge and jury on me.... Well, I sternly still warned her not to try such disrespect with me... We argued, were quiet for the rest of the trip, dropped her home and broke up there and then... She probably didnt expect it till I asked for one important item I left in her place, she then texts me to pack her stuff in my place while she does same,..... I m like naaahhh.. forget everything and come arrange her own stuff whenever she ready

I cant stand disrespect.

kayceerilyn:
Whatever you might be facing, suicide is never the way out.. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.. the problem, whatsoever it is, will pass and irrespective of what it is, give it time.

Please don't end it all..

Remember your parents, siblings and friends

What if there is no end? What if I die with the problems?...wish I had a true family right now

...

edoman2016:
How did you get so indebted? Are you into gambling or get quick rich scheme? Elaborate on how the debt came up.

Pls how old are you... Gambling and get rich schemes or what you call is is basically what we tell kids growing up to avoid. But I know better that life can hit you badly in ways not expected. Got a friend who happily thought he was going to buy a property, only to just loose $5k in the process the deal failed. All within minutes. I was involved in a motor vehicle incident, where minor technicalities can coff you up of tens of thousands

KanwuliaExtra:
You take little steps.
Do what you can do and leave the rest o.

Tho don’t take WEALTH or DEBT to the grave.
Don’t sleep with financial worries as your pillow.
If you cannot achieve a large goal, deal with the smaller ones first.

Each chip of debt you knock off will lighten your load.

Debt will always come and go.
Work double time, spend wisely and save!

Thanks, but what do you mean don't take wealth or debt to the grave?

gaby:
Dear friend and brother, most times a life without major set backs is an incomplete one. You were never promised the absence of setbacks, trials and tribulations, the promise as I understand it was that they'd surely come, but consuming you they will not, only on one condition-that is if you'd refuse vehemently to allow yourself get sucked in and consumed by your down time.

My dear brother, have you ever been to a metal smeltering factory, or witnessed a raw gold in its virgin form and the process of fiery furnacing it goes through before coming out as what we all admire today and want to give an arm and a leg to own one?

I don't know how old you are or how much of the life you have experienced, not like age is a determinant factor, but I'm led to tell you today that the way you suppose you know to live life or try to absorb or cushion yourself from what you really lack any control over is wholesomely skewed.

In life our experiences, set backs, trials and tribulations might come in different forms or degrees, but their impacts often times remain same.

You might want to believe in your own little smartness and as such think you could guard yourself against the unforeseen..emphasis on the word unforeseen. Now tell me how do you guard or protect yourself against the unknown or that which you lack any control over.

This my friend is what life is. If it'destined for you to meet these setbacks to enable you reach your destined eldorado, trust me you can't get one over life by cutting corners. The only secret I can share with you is not to stay seated or bent over on the floor whenever it happens. Simply pick up yourself, learn the lesson life threw at you with the set back and get going not minding the mockers or nay sayers because they sure will abound while on this journey.

Now brother I'm going to tell you a tad about me and my story I'm not always proud to share, I only do to encourage and teach folks like you.

At 24, I happened on some easy money, though by crooked means. Having grown up around heavy duty machineries and fancied them I always saw myself owning machineries or trucks. When the money reached me, I took myself to a major truck dealer on the German/Holland border with the money carefully tucked away in between my third leg. Upon arriving the dealership, almost everyone ignored and looked down on me. Of course I was some young black African most likely a refugee they had thought. Realizing no one would attend to me, I requested to see the owner and I was shown his office. I told him I want to buy trucks he thought I was crazy, I told him I was serious and reached in between my third leg and brought out the envelope containing the wad of 500 Euro bills. He immediately got up and asked me along to the yard where the trucks were lined up. I pointed the first, second up until the fifth and told him I loved those. He named his prices after a little haggle we reached an agreement and I paid him. He gave me the shippers numbers, I called negotiated and settled on the shipping cost, gave him the money for shipping and asked they deliver to the shippers. Before long I'd gotten two more to the fleet, they got engaged with the Delta state DLA under Ibori's regime. My trucks were amongst the trucks that built up most parts of Asaba to what it is today.

I don tire will continue..keep strong no fear life or anybody..nothing dey happen. If person threaten you say e go kill you, tell am say no wahala at least you go senior am for anywhere wey dead people dey go so you dey wait for am...
Thats how I roll bro..no time to check time..Jah bless

Check out my signature for my story..you'd be encouraged...this is become my calling and my religion..motivating and loving people.

Thanks bro.. Coincidenctly I am currently at the same age you described. I appreciate you shared your story I may relate to, I just want to get personal experiences as I had different plans, till this incident just made hope bleak.
Would be great if you continue the story. Cheers

I m posting here cos I guess I need some advice. I m in a major financial hurdle at the moment. I had an unfortunate incident which is in the process of copping me up of over $10,000(ten thousand dollars) and potentially higher. I now find myself thinking sleeping and dreaming of this debt that will be hanging on me. I sometimes think I m not man enough cos I look at those making big financial decisions daily in their companies and ask myself if I cant bear this debt, will I be able to handle something bigger. I m someone who likes to avoid anything which will make me loose money, and guard the little I make because deep down, I find every dollar I make as a lucky dollar I may not see tomorrow.

This is my personal pseudo-diary. I am someone who is averse to responsibilities, its why I cant bear the thoughts of kids if I don't have a stable career. I would normally save money in a certain safe account where I would think that if life goes sour, I can fall back to it in due time and "run away", however, I am now potentially faced with an unexpected debt. The thought is killing me badly. I ve not even been able to go out, just feeling depressed about these things. I m imagining my future and all, and how I am going to come out of these debts.

Today, I was thinking about my granddad who went through the civil war with over 8 kids, lost everything, and still rebuilt from scratch. Wish I could sit with him now to advise me how he did it. I know there are tough people here on nairaland, people who have gone through situations or currently living through "crazy" situations yet not being fussed. How do you do it?. How do you wake up everyday living and planning life when a situation is about to mess with you. Right now, I am not motivated to do anything till I know the full extent of the debts and related associated problems I may face.

I would like to think of myself as a free spirit who hates been tied. I will never do something if I felt tied up. Its why I will rather have $20000 in the bank and no "life" to having just $200, living life and waiting for the next paycheck cos I have a job. I always want to believe I can do anything I want to do.
Guys, pls share how you deal with life's challenges. I know some of you have these situations as well as other extended family/ relationship/business problems. I just need some advise

...

Thanks.. More experience is welcome.. Will update as it goes

Ditto

Bdbd

Ditto