₦airaland Forum

Truvelisback:
Good day, fellas. Why do marriages get boring after sometime? 🤔 I.e The love or feelings begin to wax cold or boring unlike when you both started.

The moment you take each other for granted, it's all done and casted!

Samantha124:
Age is nothing but a number and respect is earned.

You can't expect me to respect you as my elderly while you're acting childish, and if my actions were wrong, my family wouldn't have supported me and she wouldn't have apologized.

Everyone who supported you is a partner to setting you on flames. It's not uncommon for everyone to support a child though, while hoping one day, they'll grow someday.

You already sound as though a goddess around there... Time my friend, is a good teacher.

Regardless of your intent, locking your sister up is wrong, indiscipline, uncouth and arrant nonsense.

Samantha124:
So according to your, people who beat up other people for telling them the truth have got large hearts?

Nah, I presume your sister is elderly. People who overlook the overbearing excess of their kiddlings are.

Samantha124:
Only my sister can answer that question, not me.

Definitely, and that's where the wisdom is. She most definitely has a large heart... Extend my greetings to her, and I hope she's with one who won't take a brilliance for granted.

Samantha124:
It doesn't matter.

it's beginning to Sam

Samantha124:
The entire family was in support of what I did, from my grandparents to my siblings and my sister later apologized.

My mother was there when everything happened, she even gave my sister a hot slap... Everything that I told my sister later happened and I was there to give her a shoulder to cry on because she was regretting not listening to me and she was also depressed.

Everything that happened is now water under the bridge because blood is thicker than water.

Why didn't your sister arrest your mother?

Samantha124:
With that large nose and lips, no thank you..😂😂😂

I wouldn't want my children to end up looking like Beyonce's children..😂😂😂

Kai!! Are you married?

UnfairLife7:
the earlier you know a woman doesn't have a home once a man raises his hand on her the better for you.

I've spent close to a decade in counseling and I've seen the worse become the best. Winning struggles is a part of life, this is why separation is on desk.

Samantha124:
Personally speaking, I think gender based violence is very high in your country, but the law there doesn't take it seriously.

Even most of your women no longer bother to report it because you guys see it as a normal thing... You don't see anything wrong with a man beating up his wife or girlfriend.

Well, I see it as very wrong. Kindly do me the favour of sending ops message to the sister you got arrested and your mum. I'd love to hear from them.

If a hen spills my milk, I'll crush it's eggs... It's fine if I don't need those eggs anymore, I can have an eggless omelette then!!

UnfairLife7:
if paradventure you found a friend or sister in Op situation willing to sacrifice everything all in the name of marriage to an irresponsible man. I expected you to talk her out of it. She doesn't deserve to be in that mess called marriage

I once slapped my sister many years ago in an attempt to correct her. Along that week, I agreed I could've corrected her without the slap. I decided never to since then.

My first question will be, do you still want to keep your home? If she says no, we can let hell lose. If she says yes, we have a struggle to win. With consideration for separation on desk.

UnfairLife7:
the earlier you know domestic violence shouldn't be tolerated in marriage or friendship the better for you.

I'm aware it shouldn't be tolerated. Now if you still want that home, you don't act like you don't. In fact, separation is welcomed.

If you don't want the home anymore, then you don't need wisdom at all. In fact, I'll volunteer to call the police everytime.

Samantha124:
Thank you.

Oh you ain't Nigerian. My bad! In fact, you could've arrested your siblings over and over without issues. Same won't fly in Nigeria.

Persephone1:
Women really do not have it easy in Nigerian marriages. They have to prioritize their marriages over their values, truths ,identities etc. It's just too much and when a woman ends up with a bad man? Hell!
What op is going through now is "Justice versus Culture" believe me it can be really crazy.

It hurts me that a virtuous woman whohad tried all to make her marriage work has to lose it all because she decided to stand up for herself in the right way.

Of course what her husband did was bad, if he were to be just an ordinary man out there or that she is no longer interested in the marriage, I'd be rooting for her. But she still wants the marriage, that's where the issue is. Pulling the stunt she pulled is one of the 1000 ways to end a marriage in Nigeria. I hope and pray her husband has a change of heart.

I couldn't agree more! As for the marriage? It would've been easier if he wasn't a drunk... She just pulled up a big puzzle... He keeps going to the bar!! He comes home drunk... Wahala have gas!!

I'm hoping for the best tho.

Samantha124:
My parents are not divorced and I had an amazing childhood...

My father is a responsible man and he never broke my mother's dishes or layed his hands on her... So I wouldn't tolerate such behavior from a man because I was raised by a good man.

Lastborn will always be lastborn. Keep rocking!

Kobojunkie:
Of course gibberish makes no sense.

Exactly the point.

But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

Kobojunkie:
This response of yours makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. Again, There is nothing Christian about any of what OP reveals she has been dealing with though so why suggest you forego a professional counselor for a supposedly "Christian" one?

Exactly! It cannot make sense to you.

Samantha124:
And I said it doesn't matter.

...surprisingly, it does. In fact, I'm tempted to ask if your parent had a divorce and also if you had thorny childhood experiences.

If you're married, your husband already deserves an award. If you're not.., he would deserve an award.

There's no reason to trade words, I'll be back to ask again in a couple of years.


Reference**

Kobojunkie:
There is nothing Christian about any of what OP reveals she has been dealing with though so why suggest you forego a professional counselor for a supposedly "Christian" one?

There are many wisdom that appear as foolishness to one who's not a Christian. My counselor is a professional but you must be ready obey BIBLICAL references to marriage regardless of how tough they might be.

Persephone1:
I see some ladies claiming law, they are right but in marriage, African marriage has law ever been used to settle right? No. Law comes in when thing has gone sour and beyond redemption. Op arresting her husband simply put a nail to the coffin. In Nigeria where police station is viewed as a thing of shame and a home for criminals . Op carry her husband go there go chilax and she wants everything to go back to normal. Lol please be realistic! Even the Oyinbo people in developed countries we are emulating go through counseling and therapy before carrying themselves to court. You want to jump procedure and except good results. We are Africans, until we get to a stage where sleeping in cell means the same as being in a correctional facility please think twice before you arrest your partner. It's the reason our mothers hardly report social issues like child rape because they know doing that means it is over (I'm not supporting it just stating a cause)

Op clearly did not prepare herself for the outcome of her actions. She has done it and apologized for it but I'd advice she watches her back. A man who destroys his wife properties acts on contempt and jealousy such man with a bruised ego is dangerous. I will suggest Op threads with caution and watch her back. If I may, I will suggest separation.

Am I saying this marriage is gone? I'm not God. Miracle no dey tire Jesus.

Not too many people understand the many sacrifices people have had to undergo for the sake of their home.

Was he right for beating her? No, he was very wrong.. I don't seek to defend him.

Let me just adopt the miracle song and rest...

Samantha124:
What is unlawful is unlawful, it doesn't matter whether you're married or not.

I once got my sister arrested for laying her hands on me because I told her the bitter truth.

And I didn't do it because I hated her or something like that, I don't believe in using violence to solve minor issues... In fact, I hate unnecessary violence.. She later acknowledged her mistakes and apologized to me and we're now good sisters.

The husband also needs to acknowledge his mistakes and apologise to his wife, he should also help with house chores since the wife is the one going out there and bringing in money into the house so as to cover his shame.

Some women would've left him long time ago, but this woman stood by him for the past two years and even now she's still standing by his side.

at this point I'm not just curious about if you're married, how long?

Samantha124:
It doesn't matter.

Is breaking things in the house and beating up your wife lawful?

I only sought to know, as I am well aware experience is a great teacher.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Every action has a reaction. He beat you, you reacted by arresting him. He's reacting to the arrest, and you will have to react to his reaction. Sounds like the beginning of Armageddon but I honestly wish your home well.

Just to state the probable.., if he gets a good job today, he's likely gone forever.

You should talk to a counselor...and if you're a Christian, I'm open to introducing you to my counselor.

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

are you married?

Fugazy2023:
Wailers can keep crying.

hahaha! Wonderful...lol

Built2last:
Is it only me that is thinking

So if the tribunal nullifies Tinubu's election all these ministers wont have job anymore

E go sweet me reach everywhere

Wike... Would Wike..?

What you didn't do almost certainly spoilt it all.

You didn't make that call, didn't do the feasibility study, didn't carry out the market survey, didn't budget for marketing, didn't learn, didn't change... In fact, you didn't start.

i. You didn't start: That's 100% worse than failure itself.

ii. You didn't learn: Learning is before and after.. Continuous learning is what makes the difference.

iii. You didn't change: Here's the biggest struggle for White Collar moguls who ran along business. Today, you're a salesman, tomorrow a solution architect, next day a project manager.

You can't be an introvert everyday, can't be an extrovert everyday, can't be first to talk everyday, can't be last to talk everyday, can't keep doing things the same way, can't keep talking to people the same way, can't keep selling the same way.

You gotta change.

iv. You didn't partner: Only you designer, web developer, marketer, salesman, content manager, SEO analyst, video editor, quality assurance, solution architect, project manager, MD, DMD, ED, COO...

You need a team, build one slowly.

v. You didn't delegate: Just so you can be the champion, everything has to be done by you. Everything has to crosslink you and have your presence behind it to work. Easy!! One tree will never make a forest no matter how large.

The many businesses failing today had something they didn't do. Just like myself, I know my business needs more exposure.

Looking at what you have not done and take a step right away!

ElSudani:
He is never going to rule Nigeria, Obidients already killed that dream.

Sa ma woran.. Your statement can only be true if the tribunal will appraise your intents.. lol!

yarimo:
and everyone deserves to read good English from you

Still wouldn't change anything at tribunal comrade. Neither would it change 10yrs experience being a software engineer. Welcome to reality friend.

Psychokinetic:
As usual it’s Alufa Yarimo Mumurudeen Omo oDUDUwa

We should be long gone from insults for insults... Try to understand how hard it is for a "winner" to be called a thief, stripped off honour and sent home.

Justice respects none!

It is not news that every Nigerian, young and old is expecting quality justice in what seems to be the very first attempt at tribunal since the fons et origo of elections in Nigeria.

Unlike many rigged elections that go without quality evaluation, questioning and scrutiny, a constitutionally protected order has being appropriately explored this time.

The only request all Nigerians have is for JUSTICE to be served regardless of whom it favours.

If the APC is found to have won and is void of all allegations, uphold the declaration.

If PDP was found to have won, declare Atiku...

If LP was discovered to have led, declare Obi...

The word JUSTICE is not dependent on geopolitical zones!! Neither is it dependent on the rhetorics from my fellow Yoruba comrades who seem to have been beguiled emotionally to the narrative of having one of ours in power whether qualified or not.

Let the new dawn begin with sound and quality justice.

All eyes are on the judiciary.

God bless Nigeria.

gloryhomemaker:
This cook with me video is a step by step guide on how to cook Nigeria local rice also known as concoction rice or native rice.

The ingredients for this local African delicacy is always minimal but when well prepared the taste is amazing that you will keep asking for more.

This version of Sapa concoction rice is worth a try and enjoying!

Ingredients:
Rice
Palm oil
Iru
Shombo
Pepper
Onions
Crayfish
Fish (optional)
Scent leaf
Seasoning
Salt



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vladAl0KdgE

Women of substance are such a blessing to humanity. Well done!