₦airaland Forum

Tonymegabush1:
Nland home of comic relief....

You enh?

Tonymegabush1:
Back in those days, the crew making sense.


D'banj will be like, "am D'banj" as if person dey drag the name with am...

Nairalanders Hmmm!!!!!

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

In the gender name woMan, there is the word MAN.
That denones responsibilities for the WOMAN too.
Those responsibilities when it comes to matrimony includes Financial commitment amongst other things.
Matrimony is 50/50 thing. 50 for the male and 50 for the feMALE. But he being stronger could do her a FAVOUR of shouldering 60% while leaving for her 40%.

The critical analytical statement above is not what most Nigerian Ladies and even there MUMS inclusive understand about Dating, Marriage, Matrimony and Marital Life. And that is WOEFUL!! SO SO HORRIBLE!!
Why? There will never be a Balance in a home that do not keep to the rule of 50/50 or 55/45 or 60/40. And when there is no balance there will always be issues.

The forgoing factor is the major concern Smart Men/Guys do use as yardstick to determine there life partner.
He will surely come forward to propose if he sees that you truly have a balanced view of MATRIMONY and it accompanying spousal responsibilities.
Not that because He is the head of the Home, he should now be the Sole Provider of the Family. No it should not be because ***HE PROVIDES THE SPEARM, YOU DONATE YOUR EGG TO BRING ABOUT A CHILD****
In addition to all I said, the quoted post below is Powerfully made for you!!

Beatswim:
from my own perspective here, it seems u are the problem here, this guy has seen something about u that he can never live with hence he threw the option
of babymama for u to decide and from your own upbringing, he knows u can never accept it.. My advice is check yourself well before entering another relationship becos this your boyfriend is 35... Shows hes more matured and experienced than u.. Here are somethings u need to check
-men love women that can cooperate with them in responsibility of a home.. If u are have the mentality that its the responsibility of a man to do everything at home.. Check it
Are u clean? Men observe this things.. U may not know.. Some ladies have terrible smell after intercouse hence the guy swears never to marry them
Character... Some ladies are mannerless and haughty and spontaneous mood swings.. Check this
Imcompatible sex life... Some ladies are so insatiable and have higher drive than their partners.. Never unleash all your sex capabilities now that u are courting hence he thinks he might not be able to cope later.
Lastly communication.. are you secretive?if yes pls check it.. I wish u well as u check this things

AreaFada2:
@ happy989

You have a choice.

At about 18 to 23, some women enter olosho phase of life. Without knowing it.

Na so e dey start.

Just make up your mind. Fact is you do not love your current bf. He's cool and has features that attract you but it doesn't mean you love him.

If you truly fall in love with the new guy, be decent enough to break up with your bf. Not eating egusi and eating ogbono. Or staying with bf because of economic benefit.

That would be greedy oloshoism.

Yeeepa!
Kaimana!
New English word : "Oloshoism"
All on top O.P's head?
Ko daa bee oo.
Enh?

atakamus:
Fall where you want fall my female Aboki. Na your body you go take carry am. Abeg go read your books. Before you graduate, you will fall again for another person.
For NYSC camp you will fall again. Go and read. Don't make falling in yeye love your calling and destiny. Comot for road.jare.

Haha
OMO see yaab!!

Happy989:
I started dating my boyfriend months ago and even before we started dating we've been good friends. He is intelligent, funny, has a great personality and takes good care of me. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I was so happy, because he is such a great guy. My boyfriend is in his final year in the same university that I attend. I'm still in my second year.

There is this guy in my department who is very good looking and also intelligent. He isn't jovial and extroverted like my boyfriend, but he is cool in a very confident and attractive kind of way. We started talking recently and he told me he finds me attractive. I told him that I have a boyfriend and he didn't seem fazed and never talked about the subject of my relationship. He still complimented my body and looks from time to time even though I didn't respond to his compliments in a way that indicated that I was in support of his actions.

During this covid-19 break we began talking more often over the phone and through texts and I always found our conversations interesting. A lot of times we'd talk till midnight. He is very witty and creative with words and I always smile whenever I see his texts or receive his calls.

Few weeks ago we talked about sexual fetishes and I realized we both had similar fetishes. This made him even more interesting because I found myself able to talk about stuff I hadn't talked about with anyone before, not even my boyfriend. This guy is not like anyone I've ever met before. His views on life are very unique and original and his personality is so complex and his sexuality is very intriguing.

The problem now is that I am beginning to develop strong feelings for this guy. When he calls me on the phone I don't wish the call to end. I find myself talking to him for minutes not minding the time. He is beginning to occupy my thoughts a lot and I don't know what to do. I still love my boyfriend but there is something about this guy that just seems to draw me to him.

I don't want to do anything that will break my boyfriend's heart.

If your Boyfriend happens to be the one having this view about you would you like it Happy898?
Wait, what is your definition of a Real Man?

You told a guy you are "in love" with a another guy already and he still presses on with you hoping you breakup with your BF and come to him. Does that not tell you he is a PlayBoy not A Real Man?

You are laying a shaky foundation for your Marital Life (if ever You get married) because the way You train your Brain is the way Your Brain would direct your Mind at all conscious levels.

You are Sure above 18 so you are an Adult already and at that stage you should have learn a couple of things about life and relationship.
Never let your story and in Tears or "Premium Tears".
Do not "explore" or let any Playboy explore you.

In this Era of Yahoo plus and you want to start doing anyhow?

DaddyRochie1642:
Another Hoe Laments

Haba, must you be kasala ni?
Enh?

Chai wetin you call am again?
"...... Hoe Laments"

jagaban002:
Not ordinary tears , premium tears

"Premium tears"
Which one be premium fears again oo?

victorian:
Op wants to explore her sexual fantasies.

It's OK. It's not a crime but remember to breakup with your bf, before going on sexual spree with this new guy.

It's bound to happen anyways. If you don't cut yourself loose and explore now but explore with sense and protection, so u don't recieve any deadly disease or unwanted pregnancy.

But please breakup from your bf, let him date someone meant for him.

Let the sexual fetishes and exploration begins.

By the time u get to 45years, your raging hormones should be calm by then and ready to have a stable lovelife and possibly marriage.

Youth and sex! Na wa!

This exactly what some people call "KONDO ADVICE!"

Sooo perfect!!!

Spiff20:
All these people saying it will end in tears, must every adventure end in tears? babe see this, if you truly loved the first guy you won't fall for the second. Now if you leave the first guy for the second, chances are that you'll still leave him for the third guy and the fourth and the fifth. So keeping moving till you find your last bus stop. This doesn't have to end in tears.

Haa!
Haba!

LikeAking:
Date the both of them and many other guys.
Na so.

Wickedness of the highest order!

You want the small ge to cry � ni??

Ariza:
I wonder why you all enter relationships when you have little understanding of commitment, faithfulness and love. When you say yes to a guy or you agree to enter a relationship with a woman it means you are agreeing to see the person only. Does that means there won't be attractions for others ? No but your promise to be with that person should help you deal with such attractions which are often distractions, and set boundaries in dealings with other gender.
That is why relationship isn't for kids who still want to "flock" around.


My dear you are attracted to the MYSTERY that comes with the new guy, same way you will feel about a new phone or cloth. If after being friends for a while you are able to date your boyfriend and love him then he really is the one you know and love. The other guy? You will get to know him, the thrill will fade and you will miss your "friend" who may be long gone. Be careful.

O.P listen ooo!
Peop!e who love you are talking. Hmmm.. Listen oo!!!!

yomi007k:
You have already started cheating on your bf emotionally. It is better to break up with your guy than double date.

The new guy is not as wise as you think because no wise guy will covet his neighbours woman, goods or properties.

I believe you are below 32. I don't expect much.

It may end in tears.

O.P the lines of advice are not much but the CONTEXT AND CONTENT IS EXTREMELY POWERFUL.
If you are wise, you will listen.

OLDESTWARRIBOY:
Babe, who be your weed dealer?

Yourself na.

stabilizer:
How old are you?

As Old as you are!!!

"How Old Are You?" Chai.....see kuesan!!!

OLDESTWARRIBOY:
Sterling the chicken boy wey dey run like woman for pitch. Abeg allow us hear word e. English media wey dey overate you everyday, you dn experience racism?

That guy wey post porn pics, guy your madness dey another grade o. Se.un abi lalastical.la offend you before?



No be small, even black on black death is higher than this. Black Americans don't like Haitians, Jamaicians, Africans and vice versa. Even Africa.. Ghanians & Nigeria, Nigeria & South Africa. Even Naija Self... Igbo people no like any other tribe.

Make we clean shit wey stain our yansh first before we clean anoda person own

"Hey, come on meen" "Ya know nothing meen" "where do you come from meen" "Yoo, bullshit, what in da continent called Africa? Ama know my root but....oh meen..."
That is Black Americans for you against fellow non-american Blacks.
Like you said, Black Americans are racist against fellow blacks too.

XXLMANDIGO:
Imagine seeing Sergio Ramos behind that curtain. Na to Japa

You no well oo!
Sergio Killer....? me self go alele!!

StephenBB:
Make Chinedu no go knack Kenechukwu or Chukwuebuka wife think say na him wife o!
Issa very risky something

ateyu, is a game sometin

SweetCunt97:
Don't quote me if you lack intelligence pls.

If you are intelligent, never will you respond this way You seem to know why I spotlighted you as a foe of the lady.

Your likes are the ones who end up shouting "hmm...leave me, MAN NA MAN!"

NaeChris:
This post should be thrown into the waste bin. You are just confusing yourself. You mention HOUSEHOLD, is the guy her husband? You talked about BOYFRIEND providing, are they married? No boyfriend has responsibility over any girlfriend unless they are engaged, even at that, there is a limit. No boyfriend has the right to have sex with his girlfriend unless they are married, otherwise ON MUTUAL CONSENT. Provission here is voluntry as long as they are not married. Na your type go finally come dey cast ladies of how them use you dump you. Seriously, you dey find girlfriend, wish you well in your search.

What?
As old as you are, you do not know that O.P is a lady hiding behind the curtain of male gender?
Which right thinking MAN would spew those senseless lines she spewed up there?

Greenbullet:
I hear guys saying all girls are gold diggers at any small request, but why refer to a girl as a gold digger if you can not care for her needs.

Many people venture into relationship these days and most male partners do not understand their role, one basic role is your ability to provide for your household, if you can not do this then you are not a man but a weakling, if your female partner request for money most times it is not to "gold dig" rather is it to test your financial capacity and reasoning.

I wonder how some guys think "if she loves me she won't ask for anything". Excuse me are you all right? She loves you and intends to spend her life with you so she is trying to assess what your financial limits are so she can add to it or know how to request.

Imagine a boyfriend not being able to pay for his girlfriend's hair or even buy her a new shoe or even just give her money to buy foodstuff, and saying " am I her parents?" Well you are more than that because the moment you asked her into your life, you also asked her needs and accepted her as your responsibility.

PLEASE STOP DATING IF YOU CAN'T LEARN THE MAIN responsibility ATTACHED TO IT

You ARE SURE A LADY Whom have.been chastised and then come on here to WAIL!!!

I LIE

SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.

O.P one enemy of your spotted!!!!

Mraphel:
Can u buy the good deeds? Can it be exported? Can move reliably on Nigerian road?
Ask yourself before u appreciate it

Your mindset is exactly the type Whites like Africans to have so that they can stay Rich at our expense forever.

People like you would always At me that USA is Powerful than Russia but that same America until recently depends on MIT by Russia to send there guys to Space.
U.S.A just recently developed there own and that knowledge would still come from Same Russia.

Never was Rome built in a day.

Whether international or National standard, if we Nigerians stop importing 80% of the things we need and produce them locally, Majority of those Asian and Europen countries will feel the effect.

But to attain that level, mindset like your would need to be altered.

Mraphel:
Not that he did not try his best to solve a problem. Go to developed countries and see how things are being done.

Did you start walking on the day you were birthed?

Can't you just learn how to think Correctly?

Earlystar698:
[s][/s] hate is the main reason you will never make it in life..
Change your ways so that you will be useful to your amazing parents.

Bro, elep me tell am ooo!

Mraphel:
This thing is too poor to be on the road. A computer design is way better than this.

Since 1960, when will Nigerians learn to build something viable and useful to us.
We cannot afford to continue this way..

Tueh!!

Go and meet with your state governor..Bihari will not fund this type of shallow project from a fully grown adult

What have you in YOUR LIFE INVENTED??
SHOW ME ONE....
ENI MA DA ASO SI ENI NI ORUN.......

SATANIIST:
there is nothing special about usa presidents

High
Because as U.S.A is, they are just workshop attendant.

U.S.A is owned by BRITAIN.

Who calls u.s.a a county?

DonDraper66:
I feel like leaving this country for good ,,,, GOD , pls if am coming next world , never you consider any african countries for me ,,,,,never again ,,,, bad comments from the cows , fulani illiterates terrorists ,,,,thunder will fire lord luggard in hell fire ,, bringing us together caused this rubbish talk ,,,, the south is better without useless northerners

Calm down.
We are Pouring Water on the GROUND FOR Fulanis!!
Nothing to happen to South altogether.
This war is not Igbos War!!!
It we Yorubas that we Must fight it.
No Igbo or any Southern part will be overrun by this Dead-but living Fulanis.

As they come, as They Will Die Horribly!!!!

All we see.is there blood flowing in the GROUND already.

BODEJO, you are dead already if you dare us in SOUTHWEST!!!

AMOTEKUN is just a CAMOUFLAG!!!!!!!

Ctorch:
https://www.herald.ng/the-fulani-will-rule-nigeria-forever-miyetti-allah/?fbclid=IwAR1gUMTWeZcoajeFa_7RffajEfS5uAW-HJL7Q4orf0sUdY3-QmRAAW4I1cE

Ethnic Cleansing is what this Fulanis want and We WILD WEST will bring it on to them.

Just ordinarily pouring Water on the GROUND FOR THEM IS ENOUGH!!!

The third Element, AIR will do the rest.

I see blood of Fulanis flowing...

AgentNairaland:
What Happens To Hausa/Fulani Women, Are They That Dunce

Hahaha, haba!!!
I do not expect this from you.
Why now

Aflix:
Very good, these are the real feminists, not the online ones that collect transport money from men.

You can say that again meeeen!!