₦airaland Forum

The manager of a large office asked a
new employee to come into his office.
"What is your name?," was the first thing the manager asked. "John," the
new guy replied. The manager
scowled. "Look, I don't know what
kind of a namby-pamby place you
worked at before, but I don't call
anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a
breakdown in authority," he said. "I
refer to my employees by their last
name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's
all. Now that we got that straight, what
is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is
John Darling." The manager said,
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to
tell you, "

ode remo:
Dariye , se ara ya bayi ?
let work with you, u get.
i can cure u.

u dat's mentally derailed wants to cure my headache. I laugh in chinese.

Hello, My name is Frank Edoho,from who wants to be a Fuellionaire. Your friend Bimpe! is on the hot seat. She needs your help to win One Loaded Tanker of Fuel. The next voice you hear is your friend's. Bimpe, Your time starts now.
Bimpe: Padi, how far, Abeg wetin be the yoruba Name for SUBSIDY?

Hey guys,d site is not opening.

Press *#06# to display the imei. It has to start with 35, If not, the imei is corrupt, phone'll restart every 5mins even while making calls,very common in xpress music phones.
, Engr. Tayo.

merciie:
copy n paste

from where to where.

U all always do not c jokes.Have u no sense of humour?

1.He who fights and runs
away , Na fear
catch am.
2. Pikin wey say him mama no go
sleep, na orphanage home fit am.
3. A rolling stone, go scatter
everything.
4. He who lives in a glass
house, pepper don
rest for am. 5. A stitch in time, na tear-tear
U just avoid.
6. Birds of d same feather, na d
same mama
born dem.
7. One good turn, na correct power
steering be that.
8. A bird in hand, na barbeque
be that.
9. Half bread, is better than
buns. 10. D journey of a thousand
miles, O’ boy e
beta make u go airport go
enter aeroplane.
11. The patient dog, Na hunger
go kill am. 12. All work no play, Na Bank
worker be dat.
13. He who laughs last, no
understand d
joke quick.

2 and 1/2 melons

To have kids that will continue your generation line.

Nice 1 men,BEEP d critics

I've also always pondered on d question 'who created God or who was he before d earth was formed' but i'm yet to find a satisfying answer.
Now for the basis of arguement,Whether God exists can be argued for and against and we'll just continue going on and on without any reasonable conclusion.
To prove that God exists:in the old testament of the bible,genuine prophets of God performed miracles by merely praying to the God they believed existed and they were also given solutions when they were in difficulties.check out the journey of the israelites from egypt to their promised land (even if we were not there,there're still proofs that they happened. These(miracles) are things that science can not prove happened naturally. And even presently in d world today people still perform miraculous, spiritual things which science still can not explain.for instance,healing of all kinds of deformities, barren woman conceiving,hiv positive victims being healed and so on, most of which make doctors dumbfounded. Imagine a doctor tells a dying patient he has just 3 more weeks to live and after a prayer session with d patient by God believing people,he's still alive after 3 months,won't d doctor feel incompetent? Though most people think these things were achieved using voodoo,but even at that,it still proves a spiritual and powerful force exists.
On the other hand,there're still some happenings that spiritually, cannot be explained,even if u meet a spiritual lectures to enlighten u,you'll find no convincing answer but science can give a satisfying answer.take 4 instance how rain falls,science'll tell u how water forms in the sky through evaporation and there're proofs to this like the dew in d morning,but a spiritualist'll tell u it is controlled by God as he wishes(not convincing enough).and so on.
And they also say God spoke directly to people in the old. Now why does that not happen again? Is it that God never existed and they were just hallucinating or it was just their imagination. or is it that he used to exist and no longer does or he still exists but has just decided to be silent about all that's presently happening even the arguements about his existence?
As for me,i was born a xtian and is still one but having so many unanswered questions in this religious aspect and on this matter'll stay on the fence and be patient to find out whether some1 here'll find a reasonable answer to the question:DOES GOD EXIST?

guy:nice hairstyle. where did u get it done?
girl:at shopryte

This dude does not look like terry g 2 me o
.

Pls take your time to READ this.it's real and i promise i'm not gonna bullshit u @ d end, (& pls 4give me if there're errors,i had 2 type really fast with no time 2 spell check)enjoy;
This is a true life story of a young exUnilag girl who passed away last month. Her name was Lola. She was hit by a train at Oyingbo on her way to work at Apapa. She was working at the MTN call center. She had a boy friend named Emeka, a banker who was recently transfered to Abuja. Both of them were true lovers even distance could not separate them. They were always talking on the phone. You could never see her without her Cellphone. In fact she also changed Emeka's SIM from Zain to MTN, so both of them could be on the same network and save on the cost of calls. She spent half of the day and most nights talking with Emeka because she got free calls. Lola's family knew about their relationship. Emeka was very close to Lola's family in spite of the tribal difference (just imagine their love). Before she passed away at LUTH she told her friends; "If I pass away please bury me with my Cellphone." she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death at LUTH, the attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't. They called more people and everybody tried to carry the body, the result was still the same. Eventually, they called a person who knew one of her priests in church who had the gift of communicating with the dead, He sprinkled some holy water on the body and started speaking to himself slowly. After few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told him about her intentions to be buried with her phone. He asked them to bring a coffin, then he opened it and placed her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body, It could now be moved and they carried it away easily. Everyone was shocked and sad, they were so shocked that Lola's parents did not inform Emeka that Lola had passed away and they buried her quickly because of all the unusual circumstances. After 2 weeks Emeka called Lola's mom, Emeka :, "Aunty, I'm coming to the house today, it is Lola's birthday please I hope you will cook something nice for me. Don't tell Lola that I'm coming to Lagos today, I want to surprise her." Her mother replied, "OK You come to Lagos first, I want to tell you something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Lola. Emeka thought that they were playing an April fool's joke on him. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me, tell Lola to come out, i have a Birthday gift for her. Please stop this nonsense". Then they showed the original death certificate to him. They also gave him other proofs to make him believe. Emeka started to sweat, He said, "Its not true,We spoke yesterday, She still calls me. Emeka was still shaking when Suddenly, his phone rang. he said, "see this is from Lola, see this, " he showed the phone to Lola's family, all of them told him to answer it,then he talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation, Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Lola & there was no way others could use her staff sim card since it is nailed inside the casket before she was hurriedly buried. They were so shocked and asked for the same priest (who could speak with the souls of the dead) again. This time he brought his Bishop along to help solve the matter. He & his Bishop worked for 5 hours, Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them and every1 around,

They discovered that MTN still has the best coverage! "MTN Everywhere you go" its true!! Where ever you go, MTN follows!!! Don't shoot me yet, Ds is d jokes section remember? lol

*takes a slight bow*10q,no pics pls

says who? I just emptied 25000ltrs gp tank. Now tell me how do i refill?

mmn*sobing*b-but what if i offend u some oda time?

Imagine what people do
in church " I was in the
middle of a mass
when I saw a guy Light
his Cigarette; I was so
shocked that I nearly
dropped my
Beer.


Teacher; Sam Kull stand
up, " Spell cow,
Student; Sir, this is not
fair, why don't you ask
me to spell mosquito
instead,, Cow is too
big for me to spell

bin gbagbo:
Fellow benevolent nairalanders, due to the expected rapture yesterday 21st May, i spent all the monies on me on sex and alcohol.I SOld out my car very cheaply, sold my house, sacked my wife and two kids burnt all my clothes except my towel, threw my blackberry into the sea, burnt all my certificates and appointment letters, shot dead Obed my little dog all in the name of hoping to be raptured.I waited and waited and waited, rapture didnt come!sometimes i would jump very high hoping the wind would further carry me to heaven, but ended up with injuries,.Right now, i dont have anything and helpless so i need your help.please contact me on broke4rapture@yahoo.com for your donations.i will accept anything but promises.thanks for your time.Lest i forget, i now need a wife, preferrably old widows and divorcees so contact me with three passport-sized pics if you are one, THANK YOU

e ya, but seriously, hope u don't mind my grandmother?she'll be only 87 next 2 months and i guarantee U she's a widow.