₦airaland Forum

satowind:
are u a sex therapist or u figured all dis out from ur numerous experience

Only a stupid person would not think of all the scenarios I just gave. No need to be experienced or a therapist. Kinda obvious!!! Or didn't you think of it

#DropsMic

Damn girl!

Hang on...but I thought that there is a mechanism that blocks off the urethra whilst the peniss is fully erect ergo a non erect peniss can't penetrate a vagina. Perhaps he just stays in there and pisses after he gets floppy...either way ...girl...you guys are nasty mehn!!!

So...hanggg onnnn...does the piss pour out of ya when you stand up?! Urgh!!! So many questions.... y'all bed must stink of piss though

This is ridiculous. I guess I have to carry my own padlock with me. I've always thought the key card was a bit flimsy when it came to security.

7. God truly won in this gentleman's life. He still.looked cute though. Although we do not understand the gel Gerry Curl thing he's got going on.

8. Last but not least...A true shocker. In fact, she became a totally different person. She should be arrested for impersonating and false name adoption...Ms Rukky abeg change your ways ooo...
#MichaelJackson

DC signing out x

4. Our little Ms Savage aka TeeBillz aka Mama Jamal is virtually unrecognizable during her auditioning days.

5. Thank God for his father's money that helped him get his own money...If not, David just looked like every other teenager in Lagos.

6. Our red haired vixen...Cynthia. She looks a tad lighter. Just a tad!

No one is truly born ugly. As long as you have some 000000s in your bank account, ugliness shall not be your portion.

Ask these celebs!

1. Toke Toke Toke...How many times did I call you?

2. With a nicely tailored suit and extra dough, Don Jazzy became a Don. His nose no gree shit though. But who cares?

3. We love us a bit of flavour before and after..fine boy no pimples.

bulldoza:
You u too dey beh
Wu asked u about 2nd car

If I catch you eh!

armadeo:
Again.


Won't this saga end.

Just shout tiwa or tbillz or leķki bridge and FP is sure.


Add snakes for confirmation.

Hahaha...Tiwa and TBillz on Lekki bridge...HISSING...like snakes...

Tonto decided to join (adding Tonto for insurance) in case those names don't make it to FP...

Love it. Love it. Love it. However, I think this might face a few challenges in Nigeria especially if you are ordering things from outside the country. Delivery on the outside is very reliable and can be predicted. Wouldn't it harm your bugging business if you collect money from Nigerians (they are pretty skeptical about paying without receiving the goods anyway), if it takes you up to 3 weeks to deliver items ordered. I would genuinely like to know how this can be overcome.

Whoever said all/most men cheat and have no self control have not met these guys above. Well done and kudos!!!

My entire faith in huMANity is not lost after all. There is still hope for us ladies that still believe that there are a few good ones out there.

My first car was 'dashed' to me...make no mistakes though. It was a jalopy and the person wanted to get rid of it. Lmao! I was 18 years old...I can't even remember the name cos I never drove it. Hadn't passed my driving test at the time so had to park it up for years on end.

My second car was a Grey Nissan Primera...This was my practice car...lots of bumps and bumps and more bumps. I was 20 years...I finally passed my driving test. The jalopy was still parked up in the garage blocking up space, time and matter

Anyways...the next car was a Fiat Sciecento and then a Kia Picanto...and then a Leggedise Benz and then... Danfo buses ...and then Uber ...and then a *big reveal*....

garfield16:
lol but why nah? according to rumours it's not a place to put a finger, a lot of tins germinating there! ....or is it decaying?

Buhahaha...I ve heard that 'there' is one of the cleanest places sha...But it depends on the owner! Your fingers prolly have more germinates sef.

ZACHIE:
Oga
Join Lai Mohammend soon
You have the talent

And you need to join RudeBoy Label. ...go read up on whitlow, Mr RudeBOY Ignoramus.

#DontMakeDragYou
#DontMentionMe
#DontQuoteMe
#StayInYoLane

garfield16:
somebody has been sticking their finger in funny places....maybe Linda's sumting!!!

You nasty!!

Oh my God...that's a lot of YEARS to have one whitlow consistently without cure. Whitlow is caused by herpes virus so you seriously need to go to a doctor/dermatologist and get a proper anti-viral medication.

From the photo, your finger still looks infected and that thing is highly infectious.

Pele.

GANJAFARMER:
Hehe .... This your comolete fit make woman off pant o .

Fire down , your ministry must move to permanent site

Is it really that easy to off pant? Wow...you must teach me the tricks.

WhiskeyTangoFox:
@darkchocolate I had a massive boner (no disrespect) after reading ur write up.....u explained better than most guys can......shows ur level of exposure and intelligence regarding an issue modern ladies seem to know less about (not stereotyping)....u sound like a "guy's gal"....keep it up

So all these comments and not one answer. Smh

Driving a convertible with the roof down is equal to driving around with your windows wound down. Very much discouraged whilst in Lagos traffic.

Theft-wise, newer car models are very difficult to 'hotwire' soft top or not (not entirely impossible though). You more or less have to have keys to be able to steal most vehicles nowadays. That is why most car jackers wait for the owners and steal vehicles directly from them because they steal the keys too!!! So even if your roof is down, is would be very difficult to steal unless they have the actual keys. They could ransack it though so it is always advisable to put your valuables in the boot of your car (convertible or not).

In a roll-over accident, the impact is usually on the tallest structures in the car and in convertibles, this is usually the people's head so very likely to cause serious or life threatening injuries.

Why would anyone own a convertible in Nigeria anyways...you'll be baked under the sun in the name of showing off. Your girlfriend (if you are a man) won't even want to sit in the veh with you with the roof down because all her bleaching will be ruined and there won't be any A/C for her.

But softtops make correct sense this scarcity period sha...can you imagine the kind of fuel you'll save from not having to switch on AC. Just be getting natural breeze!

The best time to drive a soft top in Nigeria would be in the evening/night when weather don cooool but OYO is your case if you are driving around in dodgy and questionable neighbourhoods like Mushin or Oshodi or those bridges (3rd mainland's sister).

Come to think of it...anybody who owns a softtop should be able to afford to live in a nice secure estate eg: Northern Foreshore, VGC, that one in Maryland, etc etc ...so you can show off inside there. If you can't afford to live in such an estate then you have no business buying a soft top . Better go and manage one Toyota Corolla and enjoy your small A/C.

hawklan:
Hello everyone,

Quick help here is there any news or information on NYSC for pregnant women that have a call up letter and got pregnant after receiving the call up letter.

big help my wonderful people.

and what is the solution or what can be done to address the issue.

You will go to camp as usual to register. During registration, they would ask for pregnant and nursing mothers to register and go back home, only to return during swearing in, swearing out and other significant events like allowance collection, etc. After camp, you find your PPA and work as normal...Pregnancy does not prevent you from working. You might just get extra days off for ante natal, etc but you more or less work like everyone else until you are due.

Make sure you take your doctor's confirmation of pregnancy and any relevant documents proving the pregnancy. After camp, ensure you take the same documents to your local nysc secretariat and inform your local government inspector so that you can get your maternity leave, etc.

Hope this helps.

deybholar:
Hahaha..those agents are a bunch of clowns. After stating Clearly my specifications for the kind of house I wanted, they started taking me to very very terrible houses! The annoying it is that the Landlord would just put an unbelievable price tag on the house.
If you want to charge me 600k per annum, at least let the house be habitable. Not the one that the past tenants have destroyed the W.C, messed up the kitchen, broken tiles everywhere!

I got frustrated and started checking OLX thinking at least I would see pictures of the house before wasting my time....WRONG! The jokers there advertised a beautiful house and took me to a shanty!

Got tired of OLX and Lamudi at one point because the pictures they would put did not reflect the current state of the house.

A top private school in Calabar, Cross River State is looking for a Qualified Sports Coach/PE Teacher to deliver sports coaching and Cambridge/National sports curriculum to primary and secondary school children. You will be coordinating the PE classes across all year groups with children with a range of ages. You will also be coordinating the school's annual sports day and weekly Swimming Classes, Basketball, Volleyball, Football and other innovative sporting activities to keep the children engaged and interested in sports. You will actively play a part in monitoring the children’s activity levels and ensure that general all round fitness is maintained.

To be considered, we are looking for someone who is:

- Passionate about working with children
- Keen on sports and physical activity
- A high achiever
- An excellent communicator and motivator
- Reliable and punctual
- Able to use their own initiative
- Able to work as part of a team
- Has a flexible work atitude
- Innovative and Creative
- Must live in Calabar or be willing to relocate

Qualifications

- Sports Coach Qualification (Essential)
- Teaching Qualification (An advantage)
- Min. 2 years experience working with children (Essential)
- Current first aid certificate (An advantage)
- Strong Swimmer (Essential)

Please be ready to provide evidence of your qualifications if you are invited for an interview.

Salary: Will depend on experience and qualifications.

To apply:

Send your CV and Cover Letter stating why you are a good fit for this role to lindaopara@sis.sch.ng clearly stating “SPORTS COACH APPLICATION” in the subject line. Please state your previous salary and your current salary expectations (you will be required to provide proof of previous payslips before offer is made).

Deadline is 12.00 noon 4th April 2016. Any Cover Letter/CV sent after this time WILL NOT be considered.

I love you Grand Pops...and this is why I will give you a befitting memorial send off. Sayonara

HowFar:
That's your opinion

Of course it is my opinion way to state the obvious. It is also the opinion of everybody that decides to take part in your poll or give an alternate 'opinion'.

Ajuju

People are just coming up silly ideologies all in the name of Christianity. Urgh!

Oh...What a lovely cute baby pram.

I don't think you can actively compare a present government with past governments. It would not be a fair comparison. Perhaps you can bring up this poll again once his tenure is over.

Why don't you ask your question on this thread...someone might be able to help you with answers. Good luck!


https://www.nairaland.com/2633116/nysc-questions-answered/44

Lagos agents are the worse. I actually refused to pay them any money for form filling. You can imagine paying that 5000 naira to be every agent you meet with no guarantee of finding an apartment.

Luckily we found one that just had 2 agents in the 'agent chain'

Fast forward to one year, we (myself and my flatmate) have since moved out and our 40000 deposit is yet to be paid after nearly 6months of leaving. Each time we call the main agent (the one closest to the landlord), he says the landlord says he doesn't have any money and can only refund when new tenants take our flat?! Are you frigging kidding me

Shouldn't the money (which did not belong to the landlord in the first place) have been put in a separate account for refund to the tenants?

In fact...I have even given up. Thank God I'm in a position where I actually don't feel the 40000 these people decided to squander. The thing dey pain me die sha sha!!

SHEEGO2015:
Overall Best Student



Or



Obasanjo

ambient:
my friend you were wrong!

Says who? You?

Buhahaha

Byeeee

hadaydoyin:
Madam wetin apin?? how the i go on defensive now! why are you coming at me ? please park well!


whats your business anyways if i type in shorthand or 'long hand' ..is it your hand?? ok fine! you gave a reasonable suggestion to the problem which i expected you to leave it at that!! instead you chose to come at me concerning the shorthand.

I overlooked that and gave you one of the personal reason's for using shorthand in typing that post.

Madam when the i ever mention to you i was speaking for "Majority" of andriod users in the first place?

Now you chose to post a rude remark. please I think you should just mind your business. Thank You!!

?? Huh...
Buhahaha...very funny sha!

Byeeee